---
title: "3 Location Quotes By Mitch Hedberg"
description: "3 Location quotes by Mitch Hedberg. Plus more from Mitch Hedberg and more Location sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/751/mitch-hedberg-695_comedian_i-wanna-hang-a-map-of-the-world-in-my-ho_1036837.jpg"
---

> [I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-wanna-hang-a-map-of-the-world-in-my-house-then-i-m-gonna-put-pins/)

[Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/751/mitch-hedberg-695_comedian_i-wanna-hang-a-map-of-the-world-in-my-ho_1036837.jpg)

> [I have a few cavities. I don't like to call them cavities, though - I like to call them 'places to put…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-have-a-few-cavities-i-don-t-like-to-call-them-cavities-though-i/)

[Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6cc/mitch-hedberg-695_available_i-have-a-few-cavities-i-don-t-like-to-ca_1439826.png)

> [Mitch's Pizzaria... this week's coupon: unlimited free pizza. Special Note: coupon not good at any of the Mitch's Pizza locations. Free pizza…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/mitch-s-pizzaria-this-week-s-coupon-unlimited-free-pizza-special-note/)

[Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f05/mitch-hedberg-695_coke_mitch-s-pizzaria-this-week-s-coupon-unli_2287017.png)

## Other authors on Location

## More by Mitch Hedberg

> [I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same. So if somebody asks me what time it is, I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-don-t-wear-a-watch-because-i-want-my-arms-to-weigh-the-same-so-if/)

[Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/)

> [There was a product on late night TV that you could attach to your garden hose - "You can water your hard-to-reach plants with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/there-was-a-product-on-late-night-tv-that-you-could-attach-to-your/)

[Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/)

> [Imagine if you were a drummer, and you accidentally picked up two magic wands instead of sticks. There you are, keeping the beat, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/imagine-if-you-were-a-drummer-and-you-accidentally-picked-up-two/)

[Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/)

> [I like wearing necklaces, because it lets me know when I'm upside down.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-like-wearing-necklaces-because-it-lets-me-know-when-i-m-upside-down/)

[Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/)

> [I'm sick of Soup Of The Day, man. It's time we make a decision. I need to know what Soup From Now On is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-m-sick-of-soup-of-the-day-man-it-s-time-we-make-a-decision-i-need/)

[Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/)

> [I have a friend who is a juggler. If I'm at his house, I don't like to take food from him, if it's in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-have-a-friend-who-is-a-juggler-if-i-m-at-his-house-i-don-t-like-to/)

[Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/)

> [I don't get the regular AIDS test anymore. I get the roundabout AIDS test. I ask my friend Brian, "Do you know anybody who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-don-t-get-the-regular-aids-test-anymore-i-get-the-roundabout-aids/)

[Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/)

> [I don't know how to fix a car. If the car breaks down, and the gas tank does not say "E", I'm screwed. But…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-don-t-know-how-to-fix-a-car-if-the-car-breaks-down-and-the-gas-tank/)

[Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/)

> [I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-drank-some-boiling-water-because-i-wanted-to-whistle/)

[Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/)

> [What's a sesame seed grow into? I don't know we never give them a chance, what the fuck is a sesame?! It's a street...…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/what-s-a-sesame-seed-grow-into-i-don-t-know-we-never-give-them-a/)

[Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/)

> [I'm an ice sculptor. Last night I made a cube.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-m-an-ice-sculptor-last-night-i-made-a-cube/)

[Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/)

> [I went to a restaurant with my friend, and he said, "Pass the salt." I said, "Screw you! Sit closer to the salt."](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-went-to-a-restaurant-with-my-friend-and-he-said-pass-the-salt-i/)

[Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/)

> [I had a bag of Fritos, they were Texas grilled Fritos. These Fritos had grill marks on them. They remind me of summer, when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-had-a-bag-of-fritos-they-were-texas-grilled-fritos-these-fritos-had/)

[Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/)

> [I bought a house, it's a two bedroom house, but I think it's up to me to decide how many bedrooms there are. This…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-bought-a-house-it-s-a-two-bedroom-house-but-i-think-it-s-up-to-me/)

[Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/)

> [Mr. Pibb is a poor imitation of Dr. Pepper. Dude didn't even get his degree.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/mr-pibb-is-a-poor-imitation-of-dr-pepper-dude-didn-t-even-get-his/)

[Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "ItemList",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/location/mitch-hedberg/#itemlist",
            "name": "3 Location Quotes By Mitch Hedberg",
            "numberOfItems": 3,
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Mitch Hedberg"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-wanna-hang-a-map-of-the-world-in-my-house-then-i-m-gonna-put-pins/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/751/mitch-hedberg-695_comedian_i-wanna-hang-a-map-of-the-world-in-my-ho_1036837.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/751/mitch-hedberg-695_comedian_i-wanna-hang-a-map-of-the-world-in-my-ho_1036837.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/751/mitch-hedberg-695_comedian_i-wanna-hang-a-map-of-the-world-in-my-ho_1036837.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've…” — Mitch Hedberg",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I have a few cavities. I don't like to call them cavities, though - I like to call them 'places to put stuff'. 'Do you know where I can store a pea' 'Yes, I have some locations available.'",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Mitch Hedberg"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-have-a-few-cavities-i-don-t-like-to-call-them-cavities-though-i/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6cc/mitch-hedberg-695_available_i-have-a-few-cavities-i-don-t-like-to-ca_1439826.png",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6cc/mitch-hedberg-695_available_i-have-a-few-cavities-i-don-t-like-to-ca_1439826.png",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6cc/mitch-hedberg-695_available_i-have-a-few-cavities-i-don-t-like-to-ca_1439826.png",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“I have a few cavities. I don't like to call them cavities, though - I like to call them 'places to put…” — Mitch Hedberg",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Mitch's Pizzaria... this week's coupon: unlimited free pizza. Special Note: coupon not good at any of the Mitch's Pizza locations. Free pizza oven with purchase of a small Coke. Two-for Tuesday: buy one pizza, get one franchise free.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Mitch Hedberg"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/mitch-s-pizzaria-this-week-s-coupon-unlimited-free-pizza-special-note/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f05/mitch-hedberg-695_coke_mitch-s-pizzaria-this-week-s-coupon-unli_2287017.png",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f05/mitch-hedberg-695_coke_mitch-s-pizzaria-this-week-s-coupon-unli_2287017.png",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f05/mitch-hedberg-695_coke_mitch-s-pizzaria-this-week-s-coupon-unli_2287017.png",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“Mitch's Pizzaria... this week's coupon: unlimited free pizza. Special Note: coupon not good at any of the…” — Mitch Hedberg",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                }
            ]
        },
        {
            "@type": "CollectionPage",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/location/mitch-hedberg/#webpage",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/location/mitch-hedberg/",
            "name": "Location Quotes by Mitch Hedberg",
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "mainEntity": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/location/mitch-hedberg/#itemlist"
            },
            "primaryImageOfPage": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/751/mitch-hedberg-695_comedian_i-wanna-hang-a-map-of-the-world-in-my-ho_1036837.jpg"
            },
            "description": "3 Location quotes by Mitch Hedberg. Plus more from Mitch Hedberg and more Location sayings from other authors.",
            "breadcrumb": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/location/mitch-hedberg/#breadcrumb"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/location/mitch-hedberg/#breadcrumb",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Topics",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/categories/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "Location",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/location/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 5,
                    "name": "Mitch Hedberg",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/location/mitch-hedberg/"
                }
            ]
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
