--- title: "11 Live Quotes By P. J. O'Rourke" description: "11 Live quotes by P. J. O'Rourke. Plus more from P. J. O'Rourke and more Live sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a54/p-j-o-rourke-184_former_as-a-former-writer-for-the-national-lamp_377350.png" --- > [As a former writer for the 'National Lampoon,' I've probably contributed to the sea of sarcasm in which we live.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/as-a-former-writer-for-the-national-lampoon-i-ve-probably-contributed/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a54/p-j-o-rourke-184_former_as-a-former-writer-for-the-national-lamp_377350.png) > [People are not ants or bees. We do not reason or love or live or die collectively.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/people-are-not-ants-or-bees-we-do-not-reason-or-love-or-live-or-die/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/836/p-j-o-rourke-184_ants_people-are-not-ants-or-bees-we-do-not-re_673337.png) > [Liberals want to live downtown. All over America - in New York, San Francisco, Chicago, Georgetown - there are crowds of liberals…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/liberals-want-to-live-downtown-all-over-america-in-new-york-san/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b4/p-j-o-rourke-184_america_liberals-want-to-live-downtown-all-over_2107463.jpg) > [Head lice have their own animal-rights group, or may as well. The National Pediculosis Association doesn't exactly advocate letting lice live with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/head-lice-have-their-own-animal-rights-group-or-may-as-well-the/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/140/p-j-o-rourke-184_advocate_head-lice-have-their-own-animal-rights-g_2486908.png) > [I've only been to New Zealand once, about 1989. It was incredibly beautiful, kind of like the ideal of where I live…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/i-ve-only-been-to-new-zealand-once-about-1989-it-was-incredibly/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/08b/p-j-o-rourke-184_about_i-ve-only-been-to-new-zealand-once-about_2733554.png) > [Liberals are always proposing perfectly insane ideas, laws that will make everybody happy, laws that will make everything right, make us live…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/liberals-are-always-proposing-perfectly-insane-ideas-laws-that-will/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/530/p-j-o-rourke-184_always_liberals-are-always-proposing-perfectly_1820679.png) > [I don't mind America becoming a Third World country. The weather is better in the Third World than it is where I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/i-don-t-mind-america-becoming-a-third-world-country-the-weather-is/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/664/p-j-o-rourke-184_america_i-don-t-mind-america-becoming-a-third-wo_1135676.png) > [I live in rural New Hampshire, and we are, frankly, short on people who are black, gay, Jewish, and Hispanic. In fact,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/i-live-in-rural-new-hampshire-and-we-are-frankly-short-on-people-who/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/408/p-j-o-rourke-184_black_i-live-in-rural-new-hampshire-and-we-are_2808577.png) > [Children live in the only successful Marxist state ever created: the family. 'From each according to his ability, to each according to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/children-live-in-the-only-successful-marxist-state-ever-created-the/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5cb/p-j-o-rourke-184_ability_children-live-in-the-only-successful-mar_1319153.png) > [Death is so important that God visited death upon his own son, thereby helping us learn right from wrong well enough that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/death-is-so-important-that-god-visited-death-upon-his-own-son-thereby/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a5/p-j-o-rourke-184_death_death-is-so-important-that-god-visited-d_1645186.jpg) > [Modern elites live in bubbles of liberal affluence like Ann Arbor, Brookline, the Upper West Side, Palo Alto, or Chevy Chase. These…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/modern-elites-live-in-bubbles-of-liberal-affluence-like-ann-arbor/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/56c/p-j-o-rourke-184_affluence_modern-elites-live-in-bubbles-of-liberal_2087856.jpg) ## Other authors on Live ## More by P. J. O'Rourke > [I'm fascinated by political enthusiasm.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/i-m-fascinated-by-political-enthusiasm/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) > [In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/in-comparative-terms-there-s-no-poverty-in-america-by-a-long-shot/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) > [The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/the-democrats-said-we-don-t-know-what-s-wrong-with-america-but-we-can/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) > [At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/at-epcot-center-the-disney-corporation-has-focused-its-attention-on/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) > [So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/so-called-western-civilization-as-practised-in-half-of-europe-some-of/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) > [My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/my-whole-family-can-talk-they-are-all-car-salesmen-they-are-all-funny/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) > [It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/it-was-ronald-reagan-who-used-to-say-that-the-10-most-frightening/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) > [Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/gun-violence-has-cost-us-too-many-political-leaders-and-hardly-ever/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) > [Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/pete-seeger-is-a-modest-unassuming-cheerful-and-kind-natured-man-he-s/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) > [Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/journalists-are-notoriously-easy-to-kid-all-you-have-to-do-is-speak/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) > [I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/i-like-to-think-of-my-behavior-in-the-sixties-as-a-learning/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) > [I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/i-ll-be-56-this-year-i-ve-got-two-kids-and-i-think-it-s-probably-time/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) > [Something that comes to us, some gym shoe that comes to us as a result of child labor from a brutal dictatorship, where people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/something-that-comes-to-us-some-gym-shoe-that-comes-to-us-as-a-result/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) > [Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/russians-not-only-vehemently-despise-blacks-they-believe-africa/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) > [Now, do I think the baby boomers tend to be self-absorbed? I do.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/now-do-i-think-the-baby-boomers-tend-to-be-self-absorbed-i-do/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/live/p-j-o-rourke/#itemlist", "name": "11 Live Quotes By P. J. 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O'Rourke" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/liberals-are-always-proposing-perfectly-insane-ideas-laws-that-will/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/530/p-j-o-rourke-184_always_liberals-are-always-proposing-perfectly_1820679.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/530/p-j-o-rourke-184_always_liberals-are-always-proposing-perfectly_1820679.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/530/p-j-o-rourke-184_always_liberals-are-always-proposing-perfectly_1820679.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Liberals are always proposing perfectly insane ideas, laws that will make everybody happy, laws that will…” — P. J. O'Rourke", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I don't mind America becoming a Third World country. The weather is better in the Third World than it is where I live in New Hampshire. And household help will be much cheaper.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "P. J. O'Rourke" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/i-don-t-mind-america-becoming-a-third-world-country-the-weather-is/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/664/p-j-o-rourke-184_america_i-don-t-mind-america-becoming-a-third-wo_1135676.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/664/p-j-o-rourke-184_america_i-don-t-mind-america-becoming-a-third-wo_1135676.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/664/p-j-o-rourke-184_america_i-don-t-mind-america-becoming-a-third-wo_1135676.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I don't mind America becoming a Third World country. The weather is better in the Third World than it is…” — P. J. O'Rourke", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I live in rural New Hampshire, and we are, frankly, short on people who are black, gay, Jewish, and Hispanic. In fact, we're short on people. My town has a population of 301.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "P. J. O'Rourke" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/i-live-in-rural-new-hampshire-and-we-are-frankly-short-on-people-who/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/408/p-j-o-rourke-184_black_i-live-in-rural-new-hampshire-and-we-are_2808577.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/408/p-j-o-rourke-184_black_i-live-in-rural-new-hampshire-and-we-are_2808577.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/408/p-j-o-rourke-184_black_i-live-in-rural-new-hampshire-and-we-are_2808577.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I live in rural New Hampshire, and we are, frankly, short on people who are black, gay, Jewish, and…” — P. J. O'Rourke", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Children live in the only successful Marxist state ever created: the family. 'From each according to his ability, to each according to his need' is the family's practice as well as its theory. Even with today's scattershot patterns of marriage and parenting, a family is collectivist to a more than North Korean degree.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "P. J. O'Rourke" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/children-live-in-the-only-successful-marxist-state-ever-created-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5cb/p-j-o-rourke-184_ability_children-live-in-the-only-successful-mar_1319153.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5cb/p-j-o-rourke-184_ability_children-live-in-the-only-successful-mar_1319153.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5cb/p-j-o-rourke-184_ability_children-live-in-the-only-successful-mar_1319153.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Children live in the only successful Marxist state ever created: the family. 'From each according to his…” — P. J. O'Rourke", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Death is so important that God visited death upon his own son, thereby helping us learn right from wrong well enough that we may escape death forever and live eternally in God's grace.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "P. J. 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