---
title: "15 Littles Quotes By Jerry Seinfeld"
description: "15 Littles quotes by Jerry Seinfeld. Plus more from Jerry Seinfeld and more Littles sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/397/jerry-seinfeld-880_dies_can-t-you-at-least-die-with-a-little-dig_173796.jpg"
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> [Can't you at least die with a little dignity?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/can-t-you-at-least-die-with-a-little-dignity/)

[Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/397/jerry-seinfeld-880_dies_can-t-you-at-least-die-with-a-little-dig_173796.jpg)

> [Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/men-want-the-same-thing-from-their-underwear-that-they-want-from/)

[Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ae3/jerry-seinfeld-880_freedom_men-want-the-same-thing-from-their-under_1476458.jpg)

> [I feel like humor is the answer to everything. If you have a little bit of humor in the shaker and you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/i-feel-like-humor-is-the-answer-to-everything-if-you-have-a-little/)

[Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1f0/jerry-seinfeld-880_answers_i-feel-like-humor-is-the-answer-to-every_262329.jpg)

> [Kids don't say, "Wait." They say, "Wait up, hey wait up!" Because when you're little, your life is up. The future is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/kids-don-t-say-wait-they-say-wait-up-hey-wait-up-because-when-you-re/)

[Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/03a/jerry-seinfeld-880_calm_kids-don-t-say-wait-they-say-wait-up-hey_1459661.jpg)

> [Why does that pharmacist have to be two and a half feet higher than everybody else? Who the hell is this guy?…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/why-does-that-pharmacist-have-to-be-two-and-a-half-feet-higher-than/)

[Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/572/jerry-seinfeld-880_bigs_why-does-that-pharmacist-have-to-be-two_931698.jpg)

> [This is one of my big things of creative pursuits. You have your idea you want to do, but then you got…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/this-is-one-of-my-big-things-of-creative-pursuits-you-have-your-idea/)

[Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bf6/jerry-seinfeld-880_be-you_this-is-one-of-my-big-things-of-creative_1491549.jpg)

> [We want to do a lot of stuff; we're not in great shape. We didn't get a good night's sleep. We're a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/we-want-to-do-a-lot-of-stuff-we-re-not-in-great-shape-we-didn-t-get-a/)

[Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dd4/jerry-seinfeld-880_coffee_we-want-to-do-a-lot-of-stuff-we-re-not-i_633041.jpg)

> [You know I have been issued a public urination pass by the city because of my condition. Unfortunately, my little brother ran…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/you-know-i-have-been-issued-a-public-urination-pass-by-the-city/)

[Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b74/jerry-seinfeld-880_brother_you-know-i-have-been-issued-a-public-uri_999419.jpg)

> [Then, finally, the third year, begging the parents, I got the Superman Halloween costume. Cardboard box, self-made top, mask included. Remember the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/then-finally-the-third-year-begging-the-parents-i-got-the-superman/)

[Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/410/jerry-seinfeld-880_band_then-finally-the-third-year-begging-the_87507.jpg)

> [Sometimes they'll make little Play-Doh animals, and when they go to sleep, I'll break the heads off the animals and put them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/sometimes-they-ll-make-little-play-doh-animals-and-when-they-go-to/)

[Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cbd/jerry-seinfeld-880_animal_sometimes-they-ll-make-little-play-doh-a_510172.jpg)

> [It reminds me of like this pathetic friend that everybody had when they were a little kid who would let you borrow…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/it-reminds-me-of-like-this-pathetic-friend-that-everybody-had-when/)

[Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e2a/jerry-seinfeld-880_friendship_it-reminds-me-of-like-this-pathetic-frie_1653986.jpg)

> [What causes homophobia? What is it that makes the heterosexual man worry about this? I think it's because deep down all men…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/what-causes-homophobia-what-is-it-that-makes-the-heterosexual-man/)

[Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2be/jerry-seinfeld-880_bits_what-causes-homophobia-what-is-it-that-m_940134.jpg)

> [Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/well-birthdays-are-merely-symbolic-of-how-another-year-has-gone-by/)

[Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/805/jerry-seinfeld-880_another-year_well-birthdays-are-merely-symbolic-of-ho_1857119.jpg)

> [The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever seen that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/the-swiss-have-an-interesting-army-five-hundred-years-without-a-war/)

[Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c61/jerry-seinfeld-880_army_the-swiss-have-an-interesting-army-five_459936.jpg)

> [I think the answer is we all need a little help, and the coffee's a little help with everything — social, energy,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/i-think-the-answer-is-we-all-need-a-little-help-and-the-coffee-s-a/)

[Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/600/jerry-seinfeld-880_afternoon_i-think-the-answer-is-we-all-need-a-litt_1387073.jpg)

## Other authors on Littles

## More by Jerry Seinfeld

> [“i chose not to run”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/i-chose-not-to-run/)

[Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/)

> [We’re all trying to get to the same island, whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive in, it doesn’t matter. What matters is when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/we-re-all-trying-to-get-to-the-same-island-whether-you-swim-fly-surf/)

[Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/)

> [I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/i-have-a-nice-bookshelf-in-my-office-but-not-my-house-i-m-crass-but/)

[Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/)

> [There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/there-s-no-downside-to-fame-and-people-who-whine-about-it-make-me/)

[Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/)

> [We're all trying to get to the same island — whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive, it doesn't matter. What matters is when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/we-re-all-trying-to-get-to-the-same-island-whether-you-swim-fly-surf-2/)

[Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/)

> [I was in the drug store the other day trying to get a cold medication...Not easy. There's an entire wall of products you need.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/i-was-in-the-drug-store-the-other-day-trying-to-get-a-cold-medication/)

[Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/)

> [I went up to the camp and Paul had me eat my first oyster I had never had an oyster in my life. And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/i-went-up-to-the-camp-and-paul-had-me-eat-my-first-oyster-i-had-never/)

[Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/)

> [Then, finally, the third year, begging the parents, I got the Superman Halloween costume. Cardboard box, self-made top, mask included. Remember the rubber band…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/then-finally-the-third-year-begging-the-parents-i-got-the-superman/)

[Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/)

> [This is really a crazy idea, you know. It probably won't work, but that will be interesting, too. You have to motivate yourself with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/this-is-really-a-crazy-idea-you-know-it-probably-won-t-work-but-that/)

[Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/)

> [If you get something right, you really feel it, right in your chest, on stage. I think it's an incomparable experience.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/if-you-get-something-right-you-really-feel-it-right-in-your-chest-on/)

[Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/)

> [People have an infinite attention span if you are entertaining them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/people-have-an-infinite-attention-span-if-you-are-entertaining-them/)

[Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/)

> [It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/it-s-hard-to-do-nothing-because-you-tend-to-do-something-and-then-you/)

[Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/)

> [A really hard laugh is like sex-one of the ultimate diversions of existence.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/a-really-hard-laugh-is-like-sex-one-of-the-ultimate-diversions-of/)

[Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/)

> [There are many things you can point to as proof that the human is not smart. But my personal favorite would have to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/there-are-many-things-you-can-point-to-as-proof-that-the-human-is-not/)

[Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/)

> [You know what I never get with the limo? The tinted windows. Is that so people don't see you? Yeah, what a better way…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/you-know-what-i-never-get-with-the-limo-the-tinted-windows-is-that-so/)

[Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/)

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                        "text": "You know I have been issued a public urination pass by the city because of my condition. Unfortunately, my little brother ran out of the house with it this morning. Him and his friends are probably peeing all over the city.",
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                        "text": "Then, finally, the third year, begging the parents, I got the Superman Halloween costume. Cardboard box, self-made top, mask included. Remember the rubber band on the back of that mask? That was a quality item there, wasn't it? That was good for about 10 seconds before it snapped out of that cheap little staple they put it in there with.",
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                        "text": "Sometimes they'll make little Play-Doh animals, and when they go to sleep, I'll break the heads off the animals and put them at the foot of their beds for them to discover in the morning. Nothing wrong with sending your kids a little Sicilian message.",
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                        "text": "It reminds me of like this pathetic friend that everybody had when they were a little kid who would let you borrow any of his stuff if you would just be his friend. That's what the library is. A government funded pathetic friend.",
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                        "text": "What causes homophobia? What is it that makes the heterosexual man worry about this? I think it's because deep down all men know that we have weak sales resistance. We're constantly buying shoes that hurt us, pants that don't fit right. Men think, 'Obviously I can be talked into anything. What if I accidentally wander into some sort of homosexual store thinking it's a shoe store and the salesmen says, 'Just hold this guy's hand, walk around a little bit, see how it feels. No obligation, no pressure, just try it.'",
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                        "text": "Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we areto the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.",
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                        "text": "The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever seen that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. ‘Come on, buddy, let’s go. You get past me, the guy in the back of me, he’s got a spoon. Back off, I’ve got the toe clippers right here.",
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                        "text": "I think the answer is we all need a little help, and the coffee's a little help with everything — social, energy, don't know what to do next, don't know how to start my day, don't know how to get through this afternoon, don't know how to stay alert. We want to do a lot of stuff; we're not in great shape. We didn't get a good night's sleep. We're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.",
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