--- title: "12 Lines Quotes By Dave Barry" description: "12 Lines quotes by Dave Barry. Plus more from Dave Barry and more Lines sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc5/dave-barry-222_fine_there-is-a-very-fine-line-between-hobby_1541226.png" --- > [There is a very fine line between hobby and mental illness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/there-is-a-very-fine-line-between-hobby-and-mental-illness/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc5/dave-barry-222_fine_there-is-a-very-fine-line-between-hobby_1541226.png) > [Line printer paper is strongest at the perforations.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/line-printer-paper-is-strongest-at-the-perforations/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/784/dave-barry-222_god_line-printer-paper-is-strongest-at-the-p_364498.png) > [Greyhound Bus Lines motto: "We Stop For Some Damn Thing Every 200 Yards."](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/greyhound-bus-lines-motto-we-stop-for-some-damn-thing-every-200-yards/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/178/dave-barry-222_bus_greyhound-bus-lines-motto-we-stop-for-so_2317557.png) > [When I'm writing columns, it's - all I'm thinking about is jokes, joke, joke, joke, setup, punch line, joke, joke, joke. And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/when-i-m-writing-columns-it-s-all-i-m-thinking-about-is-jokes-joke/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/81d/dave-barry-222_care_when-i-m-writing-columns-it-s-all-i-m-th_310652.png) > [It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/it-is-inhumane-in-my-opinion-to-force-people-who-have-a-genuine-2/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cdf/dave-barry-222_behinds_it-is-inhumane-in-my-opinion-to-force-pe_1614135.png) > [What gets me is, I waited in line for an hour to do this. I could have experienced essentially the same level…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/what-gets-me-is-i-waited-in-line-for-an-hour-to-do-this-i-could-have/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/121/dave-barry-222_enjoyment_what-gets-me-is-i-waited-in-line-for-an_2505882.png) > [As far as outlining is concerned, I don't outline humor. I might right down a word or two to remind myself of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/as-far-as-outlining-is-concerned-i-don-t-outline-humor-i-might-right/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ad/dave-barry-222_comedy_as-far-as-outlining-is-concerned-i-don-t_1467046.png) > [Software: These programs give instruction to the CPU, which processes billions of tiny facts called bytes, and within a fraction of a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/software-these-programs-give-instruction-to-the-cpu-which-processes/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/51a/dave-barry-222_billions_software-these-programs-give-instruction_1011813.png) > [If you're like most members of the Baby Boom generation, you decided somewhere along the line, probably after about four margaritas, to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/if-you-re-like-most-members-of-the-baby-boom-generation-you-decided/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7c2/dave-barry-222_baby_if-you-re-like-most-members-of-the-baby_558327.jpg) > [I realize that there are certain hardships that only females must endure, such as childbirth, waiting in lines for public-restroom stalls, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/i-realize-that-there-are-certain-hardships-that-only-females-must/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cab/dave-barry-222_80s_i-realize-that-there-are-certain-hardshi_2042318.png) > [The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines staffed by IRS employees, whose…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-irs-spends-god-knows-how-much-of-your-tax-money-on-these-toll-2/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/221/dave-barry-222_asks_the-irs-spends-god-knows-how-much-of-you_1625192.jpg) > [It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/it-is-inhumane-in-my-opinion-to-force-people-who-have-a-genuine/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a2f/dave-barry-222_addict_it-is-inhumane-in-my-opinion-to-force-pe_884145.jpg) ## Other authors on Lines ## More by Dave Barry > [This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/this-is-true-virtually-all-edible-substances-and-many-automotive/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/this-ball-was-so-crowded-that-it-took-me-a-trained-professional/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-hardest-thing-about-being-a-guy-is-that-women-don-t-accept-that/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-ultimate-camping-trip-was-the-lewis-and-clark-expedition/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/although-golf-was-originally-restricted-to-wealthy-overweight/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/entire-new-continent-can-emerge-from-the-ocean-in-the-time-it-takes/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [He was distracted by a giggle, and turned to see a rare sight: a girl.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/he-was-distracted-by-a-giggle-and-turned-to-see-a-rare-sight-a-girl/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-major-parties-could-conduct-live-human-sacrifices-on-their/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/if-you-look-at-any-list-of-great-modern-writers-such-as-ernest/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/don-t-you-wish-you-had-a-job-like-mine-all-you-have-to-do-is-think-up/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/despite-the-gulf-physical-and-cultural-between-the-united-states-and/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/before-going-on-a-diet-you-should-consult-your-doctor-or-at-least/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Never trust anything you read in a travel article.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/never-trust-anything-you-read-in-a-travel-article/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to church; the Jews called it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/in-the-old-days-it-was-not-called-the-holiday-season-the-christians/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Always remember that if editors were so damned smart, they would know how to dress.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/always-remember-that-if-editors-were-so-damned-smart-they-would-know/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lines/dave-barry/#itemlist", "name": "12 Lines Quotes By Dave Barry", "numberOfItems": 12, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "There is a very fine line between hobby and mental illness.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/there-is-a-very-fine-line-between-hobby-and-mental-illness/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc5/dave-barry-222_fine_there-is-a-very-fine-line-between-hobby_1541226.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc5/dave-barry-222_fine_there-is-a-very-fine-line-between-hobby_1541226.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc5/dave-barry-222_fine_there-is-a-very-fine-line-between-hobby_1541226.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“There is a very fine line between hobby and mental illness.” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Line printer paper is strongest at the perforations.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/line-printer-paper-is-strongest-at-the-perforations/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/784/dave-barry-222_god_line-printer-paper-is-strongest-at-the-p_364498.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/784/dave-barry-222_god_line-printer-paper-is-strongest-at-the-p_364498.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/784/dave-barry-222_god_line-printer-paper-is-strongest-at-the-p_364498.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Line printer paper is strongest at the perforations.” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Greyhound Bus Lines motto: \"We Stop For Some Damn Thing Every 200 Yards.\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/greyhound-bus-lines-motto-we-stop-for-some-damn-thing-every-200-yards/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/178/dave-barry-222_bus_greyhound-bus-lines-motto-we-stop-for-so_2317557.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/178/dave-barry-222_bus_greyhound-bus-lines-motto-we-stop-for-so_2317557.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/178/dave-barry-222_bus_greyhound-bus-lines-motto-we-stop-for-so_2317557.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Greyhound Bus Lines motto: \"We Stop For Some Damn Thing Every 200 Yards.\"” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "When I'm writing columns, it's - all I'm thinking about is jokes, joke, joke, joke, setup, punch line, joke, joke, joke. 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I could have experienced essentially the same level of enjoyment merely by sticking my finger down my throat.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/what-gets-me-is-i-waited-in-line-for-an-hour-to-do-this-i-could-have/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/121/dave-barry-222_enjoyment_what-gets-me-is-i-waited-in-line-for-an_2505882.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/121/dave-barry-222_enjoyment_what-gets-me-is-i-waited-in-line-for-an_2505882.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/121/dave-barry-222_enjoyment_what-gets-me-is-i-waited-in-line-for-an_2505882.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“What gets me is, I waited in line for an hour to do this. I could have experienced essentially the same…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "As far as outlining is concerned, I don't outline humor. I might right down a word or two to remind myself of a punch line I thought of, but the actual structure of a piece I really don't. I don't think it would really help me because for me the process is joke, joke, joke, joke.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/as-far-as-outlining-is-concerned-i-don-t-outline-humor-i-might-right/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ad/dave-barry-222_comedy_as-far-as-outlining-is-concerned-i-don-t_1467046.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ad/dave-barry-222_comedy_as-far-as-outlining-is-concerned-i-don-t_1467046.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ad/dave-barry-222_comedy_as-far-as-outlining-is-concerned-i-don-t_1467046.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“As far as outlining is concerned, I don't outline humor. I might right down a word or two to remind myself…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Software: These programs give instruction to the CPU, which processes billions of tiny facts called bytes, and within a fraction of a second it sends you an error message that requires you to call the customer-support hot line and be placed on hold for approximately the life-span of a caribou.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/software-these-programs-give-instruction-to-the-cpu-which-processes/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/51a/dave-barry-222_billions_software-these-programs-give-instruction_1011813.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/51a/dave-barry-222_billions_software-these-programs-give-instruction_1011813.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/51a/dave-barry-222_billions_software-these-programs-give-instruction_1011813.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Software: These programs give instruction to the CPU, which processes billions of tiny facts called bytes…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If you're like most members of the Baby Boom generation, you decided somewhere along the line, probably after about four margaritas, to have children. This was inevitable. Mother Nature, in her infinite wisdom, has instilled within each of us a powerful biological instinct to reproduce; this is her way of assuring that the human race, come what may, will never have any disposable income.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/if-you-re-like-most-members-of-the-baby-boom-generation-you-decided/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7c2/dave-barry-222_baby_if-you-re-like-most-members-of-the-baby_558327.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7c2/dave-barry-222_baby_if-you-re-like-most-members-of-the-baby_558327.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7c2/dave-barry-222_baby_if-you-re-like-most-members-of-the-baby_558327.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If you're like most members of the Baby Boom generation, you decided somewhere along the line, probably…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I realize that there are certain hardships that only females must endure, such as childbirth, waiting in lines for public-restroom stalls, and a crippling, psychotic obsession with shoe color. Also, females tend to reach emotional maturity very quickly, so that by age 7 they are no longer capable of seeing the humor in loud inadvertent public blasts of flatulence, whereas males can continue to derive vast enjoyment from this well into their 80s.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/i-realize-that-there-are-certain-hardships-that-only-females-must/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cab/dave-barry-222_80s_i-realize-that-there-are-certain-hardshi_2042318.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cab/dave-barry-222_80s_i-realize-that-there-are-certain-hardshi_2042318.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cab/dave-barry-222_80s_i-realize-that-there-are-certain-hardshi_2042318.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I realize that there are certain hardships that only females must endure, such as childbirth, waiting in…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you ask them a real tax question, such as how you can cheat, they're useless. So, for guidance, you want to look to big business. Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes. . . .", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-irs-spends-god-knows-how-much-of-your-tax-money-on-these-toll-2/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/221/dave-barry-222_asks_the-irs-spends-god-knows-how-much-of-you_1625192.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/221/dave-barry-222_asks_the-irs-spends-god-knows-how-much-of-you_1625192.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/221/dave-barry-222_asks_the-irs-spends-god-knows-how-much-of-you_1625192.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines staffed by IRS…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity. I bet this kind of thing does not happen to heroin addicts. I bet that when serious heroin addicts go to purchase their heroin, they do not tolerate waiting in line while some dilettante in front of them orders a hazelnut smack-a-cino with cinnamon sprinkles.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/it-is-inhumane-in-my-opinion-to-force-people-who-have-a-genuine/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a2f/dave-barry-222_addict_it-is-inhumane-in-my-opinion-to-force-pe_884145.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a2f/dave-barry-222_addict_it-is-inhumane-in-my-opinion-to-force-pe_884145.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a2f/dave-barry-222_addict_it-is-inhumane-in-my-opinion-to-force-pe_884145.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lines/dave-barry/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lines/dave-barry/", "name": "Lines Quotes by Dave Barry", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lines/dave-barry/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc5/dave-barry-222_fine_there-is-a-very-fine-line-between-hobby_1541226.png" }, "description": "12 Lines quotes by Dave Barry. 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