--- title: "10 Like Quotes By Artie Lange" description: "10 Like quotes by Artie Lange. Plus more from Artie Lange and more Like sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/04e/artie-lange-7262_air_richard-lewis-is-the-master-at-taking-a_2037621.jpg" --- > [Richard Lewis is the master at taking a joke that he's told a million times in a row in the past year,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/richard-lewis-is-the-master-at-taking-a-joke-that-he-s-told-a-million/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/04e/artie-lange-7262_air_richard-lewis-is-the-master-at-taking-a_2037621.jpg) > [The road is a lonely place, and that sounds like a cliche, you know, like what is my life?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/the-road-is-a-lonely-place-and-that-sounds-like-a-cliche-you-know/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b29/artie-lange-7262_cliche_the-road-is-a-lonely-place-and-that-soun_2836308.jpg) > [It's weird because standup can be like therapy. Comedians can't be satisfied with just having fun with our friends. We've got to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/it-s-weird-because-standup-can-be-like-therapy-comedians-can-t-be/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d5b/artie-lange-7262_because_it-s-weird-because-standup-can-be-like-t_202755.jpg) > [I'm like the master of ceremonies being funny, and then sometimes people you're with, girlfriends and stuff, are like, 'God I wish…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/i-m-like-the-master-of-ceremonies-being-funny-and-then-sometimes/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e35/artie-lange-7262_being_i-m-like-the-master-of-ceremonies-being_2285565.jpg) > [Woody Allen stayed so good because he never left New York. Howard Stern stayed so good because he never left New York…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/woody-allen-stayed-so-good-because-he-never-left-new-york-howard/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/00c/artie-lange-7262_allen_woody-allen-stayed-so-good-because-he-ne_1900679.jpg) > [I got cast on 'MADtv' as one of eight permanent cast members chosen from 8,000 comics who'd been screened. For any comic…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/i-got-cast-on-madtv-as-one-of-eight-permanent-cast-members-chosen/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/409/artie-lange-7262_any_i-got-cast-on-madtv-as-one-of-eight-perm_1356691.jpg) > [When I got on Stern I realized that this was the one job where you could be really honest and open, almost…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/when-i-got-on-stern-i-realized-that-this-was-the-one-job-where-you/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1ba/artie-lange-7262_about_when-i-got-on-stern-i-realized-that-this_2211022.jpg) > [Comedians, we're just people who whine. But we happen to be funny when we whine. Like, if Jerry Seinfeld wasn't funny, you'd…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/comedians-we-re-just-people-who-whine-but-we-happen-to-be-funny-when-2/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e29/artie-lange-7262_comedians_comedians-we-re-just-people-who-whine-bu_2267631.jpg) > [When I became a standup comic, my hero, one of them, was Richard Pryor, and you know, I think that comedians, like,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/when-i-became-a-standup-comic-my-hero-one-of-them-was-richard-pryor/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/792/artie-lange-7262_about_when-i-became-a-standup-comic-my-hero-on_2793545.jpg) > [When you're an adult, when times are good, entire years go by in what feels like the space of one season. But…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/when-you-re-an-adult-when-times-are-good-entire-years-go-by-in-what/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d91/artie-lange-7262_adult_when-you-re-an-adult-when-times-are-good_1073905.jpg) ## Other authors on Like ## More by Artie Lange > [The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/the-point-of-drinking-in-moderation-is-that-sometimes-you-don-t-drink/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/it-is-funny-because-the-guy-who-is-my-boss-now-howard-stern-has-a/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [It's weird because standup can be like therapy. Comedians can't be satisfied with just having fun with our friends. We've got to figure out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/it-s-weird-because-standup-can-be-like-therapy-comedians-can-t-be/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [A-Rod wants to be like Babe Ruth. And people don't realize this, he's a lot like Babe Ruth. Before the playoffs a couple of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/a-rod-wants-to-be-like-babe-ruth-and-people-don-t-realize-this-he-s-a/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/at-the-mirage-sportsbook-you-can-get-a-line-on-2-kid-playing/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/of-course-in-show-business-there-are-two-ways-to-play-it-and-i-am-not/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [By the time I am Howard's age I hope to be long retired. I don't plan on working that long.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/by-the-time-i-am-howard-s-age-i-hope-to-be-long-retired-i-don-t-plan/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/the-regular-guy-still-relates-to-him-and-howard-is-a-500-million-guy/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/the-only-reason-i-can-t-recommend-heroin-to-kids-is-because-the/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/when-i-black-out-it-s-the-happiest-time-of-my-life/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [Richard Lewis has this incredible ability to look like he's just... you know it's an act that's been honed. What you have to do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/richard-lewis-has-this-incredible-ability-to-look-like-he-s-just-you/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [In Hollywood, there is another name for a woman's 40th birthday party, it's a retirement party.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/in-hollywood-there-is-another-name-for-a-woman-s-40th-birthday-party/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/everytime-i-go-to-vegas-i-seem-to-incur-some-kind-of-fine/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/it-s-not-a-drug-problem-until-you-run-out-of-money-until-then-it-s/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [Artie is going to do what ever Artie wants to do.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/artie-is-going-to-do-what-ever-artie-wants-to-do/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/like/artie-lange/#itemlist", "name": "10 Like Quotes By Artie Lange", "numberOfItems": 10, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Richard Lewis is the master at taking a joke that he's told a million times in a row in the past year, on the road, and making it look like he's pulling it out of thin air.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Artie Lange" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/richard-lewis-is-the-master-at-taking-a-joke-that-he-s-told-a-million/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/04e/artie-lange-7262_air_richard-lewis-is-the-master-at-taking-a_2037621.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/04e/artie-lange-7262_air_richard-lewis-is-the-master-at-taking-a_2037621.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/04e/artie-lange-7262_air_richard-lewis-is-the-master-at-taking-a_2037621.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Richard Lewis is the master at taking a joke that he's told a million times in a row in the past year, on…” — Artie Lange", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The road is a lonely place, and that sounds like a cliche, you know, like what is my life?", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Artie Lange" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/the-road-is-a-lonely-place-and-that-sounds-like-a-cliche-you-know/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b29/artie-lange-7262_cliche_the-road-is-a-lonely-place-and-that-soun_2836308.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b29/artie-lange-7262_cliche_the-road-is-a-lonely-place-and-that-soun_2836308.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b29/artie-lange-7262_cliche_the-road-is-a-lonely-place-and-that-soun_2836308.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The road is a lonely place, and that sounds like a cliche, you know, like what is my life?” — Artie Lange", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It's weird because standup can be like therapy. Comedians can't be satisfied with just having fun with our friends. We've got to figure out a way to do it on stage.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Artie Lange" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/it-s-weird-because-standup-can-be-like-therapy-comedians-can-t-be/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d5b/artie-lange-7262_because_it-s-weird-because-standup-can-be-like-t_202755.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d5b/artie-lange-7262_because_it-s-weird-because-standup-can-be-like-t_202755.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d5b/artie-lange-7262_because_it-s-weird-because-standup-can-be-like-t_202755.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It's weird because standup can be like therapy. 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Howard Stern stayed so good because he never left New York - Mel Brooks when he just got out of New York was doing 'Blazing Saddles;' when he left New York he started doing stuff like 'Robin Hood Men In Tights' - he was in L.A. too long. He lost the edge.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Artie Lange" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/woody-allen-stayed-so-good-because-he-never-left-new-york-howard/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/00c/artie-lange-7262_allen_woody-allen-stayed-so-good-because-he-ne_1900679.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/00c/artie-lange-7262_allen_woody-allen-stayed-so-good-because-he-ne_1900679.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/00c/artie-lange-7262_allen_woody-allen-stayed-so-good-because-he-ne_1900679.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Woody Allen stayed so good because he never left New York. Howard Stern stayed so good because he never left…” — Artie Lange", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 6, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I got cast on 'MADtv' as one of eight permanent cast members chosen from 8,000 comics who'd been screened. For any comic trying to make something of themselves, that was like hitting triple 7s-jackpot.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Artie Lange" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/i-got-cast-on-madtv-as-one-of-eight-permanent-cast-members-chosen/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/409/artie-lange-7262_any_i-got-cast-on-madtv-as-one-of-eight-perm_1356691.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/409/artie-lange-7262_any_i-got-cast-on-madtv-as-one-of-eight-perm_1356691.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/409/artie-lange-7262_any_i-got-cast-on-madtv-as-one-of-eight-perm_1356691.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I got cast on 'MADtv' as one of eight permanent cast members chosen from 8,000 comics who'd been screened…” — Artie Lange", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "When I got on Stern I realized that this was the one job where you could be really honest and open, almost like Richard Pryor or something. You can be honest about your life and get laughs.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Artie Lange" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/when-i-got-on-stern-i-realized-that-this-was-the-one-job-where-you/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1ba/artie-lange-7262_about_when-i-got-on-stern-i-realized-that-this_2211022.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1ba/artie-lange-7262_about_when-i-got-on-stern-i-realized-that-this_2211022.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1ba/artie-lange-7262_about_when-i-got-on-stern-i-realized-that-this_2211022.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“When I got on Stern I realized that this was the one job where you could be really honest and open, almost…” — Artie Lange", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Comedians, we're just people who whine. But we happen to be funny when we whine. Like, if Jerry Seinfeld wasn't funny, you'd want to punch him in the face; he'd just seem like a whiner to you. But the fact is that he's funny.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Artie Lange" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/comedians-we-re-just-people-who-whine-but-we-happen-to-be-funny-when-2/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e29/artie-lange-7262_comedians_comedians-we-re-just-people-who-whine-bu_2267631.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e29/artie-lange-7262_comedians_comedians-we-re-just-people-who-whine-bu_2267631.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e29/artie-lange-7262_comedians_comedians-we-re-just-people-who-whine-bu_2267631.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Comedians, we're just people who whine. But we happen to be funny when we whine. Like, if Jerry Seinfeld…” — Artie Lange", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "When I became a standup comic, my hero, one of them, was Richard Pryor, and you know, I think that comedians, like, comedians talk about hacks, and what a hack is, is someone who does stuff that's not original.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Artie Lange" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/when-i-became-a-standup-comic-my-hero-one-of-them-was-richard-pryor/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/792/artie-lange-7262_about_when-i-became-a-standup-comic-my-hero-on_2793545.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/792/artie-lange-7262_about_when-i-became-a-standup-comic-my-hero-on_2793545.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/792/artie-lange-7262_about_when-i-became-a-standup-comic-my-hero-on_2793545.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“When I became a standup comic, my hero, one of them, was Richard Pryor, and you know, I think that…” — Artie Lange", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "When you're an adult, when times are good, entire years go by in what feels like the space of one season. But the worst trick time plays on you is just how slowly the worst times in your life take you to live through.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Artie Lange" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/when-you-re-an-adult-when-times-are-good-entire-years-go-by-in-what/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d91/artie-lange-7262_adult_when-you-re-an-adult-when-times-are-good_1073905.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d91/artie-lange-7262_adult_when-you-re-an-adult-when-times-are-good_1073905.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d91/artie-lange-7262_adult_when-you-re-an-adult-when-times-are-good_1073905.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“When you're an adult, when times are good, entire years go by in what feels like the space of one season…” — Artie Lange", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/like/artie-lange/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/like/artie-lange/", "name": "Like Quotes by Artie Lange", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/like/artie-lange/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/04e/artie-lange-7262_air_richard-lewis-is-the-master-at-taking-a_2037621.jpg" }, "description": "10 Like quotes by Artie Lange. 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