---
title: "16 Like Masturbation Quotes by 15 authors"
description: "Browse 16 Like Masturbation quotes by 15 authors. Discover the best Like Masturbation sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/463/anonymous-1_growth_procrasination-is-like-masturbation-in-t_2898161.jpg"
---

> [Procrasination is like masturbation. In the end you are just screwing yourself](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/procrasination-is-like-masturbation-in-the-end-you-are-just-screwing/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/463/anonymous-1_growth_procrasination-is-like-masturbation-in-t_2898161.jpg)

> [The act of writing itself is done in secret, like masturbation.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-king/the-act-of-writing-itself-is-done-in-secret-like-masturbation/)

[Stephen King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-king/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a89/stephen-king-13_done_the-act-of-writing-itself-is-done-in-sec_2901116.jpg)

> [“Cycling, like masturbation, is fun and easy to do - sometimes all day long.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-doig/cycling-like-masturbation-is-fun-and-easy-to-do-sometimes-all-day-long/)

[Tom Doig](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-doig/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/19b/tom-doig-72224_bike_cycling-like-masturbation-is-fun-and-eas_661134.jpg)

> [Contempt for others, like masturbation, is best as a secret pleasure.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mason-cooley/contempt-for-others-like-masturbation-is-best-as-a-secret-pleasure/)

[Mason Cooley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mason-cooley/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ac/mason-cooley-92_contempt_contempt-for-others-like-masturbation-is_2077385.png)

> [What I like about masturbation is that you don't have to talk afterwards.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/milos-forman/what-i-like-about-masturbation-is-that-you-don-t-have-to-talk/)

[Milos Forman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/milos-forman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/079/milos-forman-11744_funny_what-i-like-about-masturbation-is-that-y_3171784.jpg)

> [“Writing is like masturbation. It might not bear fruit, but it certainly does feel good.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/writing-is-like-masturbation-it-might-not-bear-fruit-but-it-certainly/)

Charles Delmar author of My Cooking Coach and creator of MyCookingCoach.com

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/117/charles-delmar-author-of-my-co_feel-good_writing-is-like-masturbation-it-might-no_526090.jpg)

> [LIFE is like MASTURBATION, its all in YOUR HANDS](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/archie-fuentes/life-is-like-masturbation-its-all-in-your-hands/)

[Archie Fuentes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/archie-fuentes/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c7d/archie-fuentes-39484_growth_life-is-like-masturbation-its-all-in-you_873325.jpg)

> [Writing a book is like masturbation, and making a movie is like an orgy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/clive-barker/writing-a-book-is-like-masturbation-and-making-a-movie-is-like-an-orgy/)

[Clive Barker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/clive-barker/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a8b/clive-barker-773_book_writing-a-book-is-like-masturbation-and_3156988.png)

> [“Procrastination is like masturbation, in the beginning it feels good, but in the end, you're just f\*\*\*ing yourself!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-mccarthy/procrastination-is-like-masturbation-in-the-beginning-it-feels-good/)

[Michael McCarthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-mccarthy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/614/michael-mccarthy-262818_masturbation_procrastination-is-like-masturbation-in_2257387.jpg)

> [Bouldering is like masturbation: not as good as the real thing but you don't need to worry about your protection.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/scott-grimes/bouldering-is-like-masturbation-not-as-good-as-the-real-thing-but-you/)

[Scott Grimes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/scott-grimes/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1a1/scott-grimes-276711_climbing_bouldering-is-like-masturbation-not-as-g_1963534.png)

> [“Procrastination is like masturbation: it's fun for awhile, but in the end, you're only screwing yourself.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-kunze/procrastination-is-like-masturbation-it-s-fun-for-awhile-but-in-the/)

[Lauren Kunze](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-kunze/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/959/lauren-kunze-59278_masturbation_procrastination-is-like-masturbation-it_318696.jpg)

> [Sleeping with an ex is like masturbation. You know you're f\*cking yourself but you do it anyway.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/sleeping-with-an-ex-is-like-masturbation-you-know-you-re-f-cking/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/232/anonymous-1_dating_sleeping-with-an-ex-is-like-masturbation_2932864.jpg)

> [Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you're the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-saget/jon-lovitz-jon-your-act-is-like-masturbation-you-re-the-only-one-who/)

[Bob Saget](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-saget/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6eb/bob-saget-3208_arrested_jon-lovitz-jon-your-act-is-like-masturba_2208885.jpg)

> [I think that at a certain age, say fifteen or sixteen, poetry is like masturbation. But later in life good poets burn…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/umberto-eco/i-think-that-at-a-certain-age-say-fifteen-or-sixteen-poetry-is-like/)

[Umberto Eco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/umberto-eco/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/375/umberto-eco-313_age_i-think-that-at-a-certain-age-say-fiftee_4153.jpg)

> [shopping for clothes is like masturbation - everyone does it, but it isn't very interesting and therefore should be done alone, in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lorrie-moore/shopping-for-clothes-is-like-masturbation-everyone-does-it-but-it-isn/)

[Lorrie Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lorrie-moore/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d40/lorrie-moore-870_clothes_shopping-for-clothes-is-like-masturbatio_926553.jpg)

> [“Light mayonnaise is like masturbation—it approximates the real thing but leaves you unfulfilled, ultimately leading to fantasies about diving face-first into a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-donovan/light-mayonnaise-is-like-masturbation-it-approximates-the-real-thing/)

[Susan Donovan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-donovan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1c5/susan-donovan-38596_food_light-mayonnaise-is-like-masturbation-it_122857.jpg)

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                        "text": "Sleeping with an ex is like masturbation. You know you're f*cking yourself but you do it anyway.",
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                        "text": "Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you're the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public.",
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                        "text": "I think that at a certain age, say fifteen or sixteen, poetry is like masturbation. But later in life good poets burn their early poetry, and bad poets publish it. Thankfully I gave up rather quickly.",
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                        "text": "shopping for clothes is like masturbation - everyone does it, but it isn't very interesting and therefore should be done alone, in an embarrassed fashion, and never be the topic of party conversation.",
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                        "text": "“Light mayonnaise is like masturbation—it approximates the real thing but leaves you unfulfilled, ultimately leading to fantasies about diving face-first into a big-ass jar of the real stuff.”",
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