---
title: "33 Life is Quotes By Henri Nouwen"
description: "33 Life is quotes by Henri Nouwen. Plus more from Henri Nouwen and more Life is sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e6/henri-nouwen-600_be-grateful_life-is-a-gift-to-be-grateful-for-and-no_2461109.png"
---

> [Life is a gift to be grateful for and not a property to cling to.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/life-is-a-gift-to-be-grateful-for-and-not-a-property-to-cling-to/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e6/henri-nouwen-600_be-grateful_life-is-a-gift-to-be-grateful-for-and-no_2461109.png)

> [Life is not a possession to be defended, but a gift to be shared.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/life-is-not-a-possession-to-be-defended-but-a-gift-to-be-shared/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cd2/henri-nouwen-600_gift_life-is-not-a-possession-to-be-defended_200989.png)

> [Life is not entertainment. Life is not distraction.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/life-is-not-entertainment-life-is-not-distraction/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b1/henri-nouwen-600_distraction_life-is-not-entertainment-life-is-not-di_318108.png)

> [Life is a gift, not to possess, but to share.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/life-is-a-gift-not-to-possess-but-to-share/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dc9/henri-nouwen-600_gift_life-is-a-gift-not-to-possess-but-to-sha_2999666.png)

> [A happy life is a life for others.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/a-happy-life-is-a-life-for-others/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9c8/henri-nouwen-600_happiness_a-happy-life-is-a-life-for-others-199256_1992562.png)

> [The crisis of our prayer life is that our minds may be filled with ideas of God while our hearts remain far…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/the-crisis-of-our-prayer-life-is-that-our-minds-may-be-filled-with/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2d0/henri-nouwen-600_crisis_the-crisis-of-our-prayer-life-is-that-ou_3208290.png)

> [If I were to let my life be taken over by what is urgent, I might very well never get around to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/if-i-were-to-let-my-life-be-taken-over-by-what-is-urgent-i-might-very/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/483/henri-nouwen-600_essential_if-i-were-to-let-my-life-be-taken-over-b_3140524.png)

> [We just have to recognize life for what it is: a gift to be grateful for, not a property to cling to,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/we-just-have-to-recognize-life-for-what-it-is-a-gift-to-be-grateful/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7dd/henri-nouwen-600_be-grateful_we-just-have-to-recognize-life-for-what_867644.png)

> [Life is just a little opportunity for you during a few years to say to God: 'I love you, too.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/life-is-just-a-little-opportunity-for-you-during-a-few-years-to-say/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/472/henri-nouwen-600_god-love_life-is-just-a-little-opportunity-for-yo_1525988.png)

> [Life is just a little opportunity for you during a few years to say, "I love you, too."](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/life-is-just-a-little-opportunity-for-you-during-a-few-years-to-say-i/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fef/henri-nouwen-600_i-love-you-too_life-is-just-a-little-opportunity-for-yo_361802.jpg)

> [Our life is...a time in which sadness and joy kiss each other at every moment.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/our-life-is-a-time-in-which-sadness-and-joy-kiss-each-other-at-every/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/17c/henri-nouwen-600_every-moment_our-life-is-a-time-in-which-sadness-and_1944751.png)

> [The spiritual life is a reaching out to our innermost self, to our fellow human and to our God.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/the-spiritual-life-is-a-reaching-out-to-our-innermost-self-to-our/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b2/henri-nouwen-600_fellows_the-spiritual-life-is-a-reaching-out-to_1946429.png)

> [Our life is full of brokenness - broken relationships, broken promises, broken expectations. How can we live with that brokenness without becoming…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/our-life-is-full-of-brokenness-broken-relationships-broken-promises/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/595/henri-nouwen-600_becoming_our-life-is-full-of-brokenness-broken-re_1623868.png)

> [It is in solitude that we discover that being is more important than having and that we are worth more than the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/it-is-in-solitude-that-we-discover-that-being-is-more-important-than/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0b0/henri-nouwen-600_effort_it-is-in-solitude-that-we-discover-that_200371.png)

> [The spiritual life is not a life before, after, or beyond our everyday existence. No, the spiritual life can only be real…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/the-spiritual-life-is-not-a-life-before-after-or-beyond-our-everyday/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9fd/henri-nouwen-600_being-real_the-spiritual-life-is-not-a-life-before_179642.png)

> [The Lord is coming, always coming. When you have ears to hear and eyes to see, you will recognize him at any…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/the-lord-is-coming-always-coming-when-you-have-ears-to-hear-and-eyes/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1bd/henri-nouwen-600_advent_the-lord-is-coming-always-coming-when-yo_558629.jpg)

> [A prayerful life is not a life in which we say many prayers, but a life in which nothing, absolutely nothing, is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/a-prayerful-life-is-not-a-life-in-which-we-say-many-prayers-but-a/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/222/henri-nouwen-600_absolutely-nothing_a-prayerful-life-is-not-a-life-in-which_2121200.png)

> [Aging does not need to be hidden or denied, but can be understood, affirmed and experienced as a process of growth by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/aging-does-not-need-to-be-hidden-or-denied-but-can-be-understood/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a11/henri-nouwen-600_age_aging-does-not-need-to-be-hidden-or-deni_2323045.png)

> [Community life is not easy for somebody like me, who is used to living by himself and doing what he wants. It's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/community-life-is-not-easy-for-somebody-like-me-who-is-used-to-living/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9e1/henri-nouwen-600_community_community-life-is-not-easy-for-somebody_170904.png)

> [The spiritual life is a life beyond moods. It is a life in which we choose joy and do not allow ourselves…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/the-spiritual-life-is-a-life-beyond-moods-it-is-a-life-in-which-we/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/827/henri-nouwen-600_depression_the-spiritual-life-is-a-life-beyond-mood_476313.png)

> [I have found it very important in my own life to try to let go of my wishes and instead to live…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/i-have-found-it-very-important-in-my-own-life-to-try-to-let-go-of-my/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/346/henri-nouwen-600_expectations_i-have-found-it-very-important-in-my-own_2956015.png)

> [But what I would like to say is that the spiritual life is a life in which you gradually learn to listen…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/but-what-i-would-like-to-say-is-that-the-spiritual-life-is-a-life-in/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3a4/henri-nouwen-600_beloved_but-what-i-would-like-to-say-is-that-the_1442180.jpg)

> [This is what life is about. It is being sent on a trip by a loving God, who is waiting at home…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/this-is-what-life-is-about-it-is-being-sent-on-a-trip-by-a-loving-god/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/92b/henri-nouwen-600_ears_this-is-what-life-is-about-it-is-being-s_3080322.jpg)

> [Our spiritual life is a life in which we wait, actively present to the moment, expecting that new things will happen to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/our-spiritual-life-is-a-life-in-which-we-wait-actively-present-to-the/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1c4/henri-nouwen-600_expecting_our-spiritual-life-is-a-life-in-which-we_2110205.png)

> [The mystery of the spiritual life is that Jesus desires to meet us in the seclusion of our own heart, to make…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/the-mystery-of-the-spiritual-life-is-that-jesus-desires-to-meet-us-in/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/69d/henri-nouwen-600_deeper_the-mystery-of-the-spiritual-life-is-tha_2844747.png)

> [Life is precious. Not because it is unchangeable, like a diamond, but because it is vulnerable, like a little bird. To love…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/life-is-precious-not-because-it-is-unchangeable-like-a-diamond-but/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/06b/henri-nouwen-600_asking_life-is-precious-not-because-it-is-uncha_2062268.png)

> [Let's start with Jesus' answer: "Look for the kingdom first and all else will come together." Life is fragmenting, fragmented. I have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/let-s-start-with-jesus-answer-look-for-the-kingdom-first-and-all-else/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/877/henri-nouwen-600_answers_let-s-start-with-jesus-answer-look-for-t_2347887.jpg)

> [A little criticism makes me angry, and a little rejection makes me depressed. A little praise raises my spirits, and a little…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/a-little-criticism-makes-me-angry-and-a-little-rejection-makes-me/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c72/henri-nouwen-600_angry_a-little-criticism-makes-me-angry-and-a_1046706.jpg)

> [If you feel a great loneliness and a deep longing for human contact, you have to be extremely discerning...and ask yourself whether…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/if-you-feel-a-great-loneliness-and-a-deep-longing-for-human-contact/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3c8/henri-nouwen-600_ask-yourself_if-you-feel-a-great-loneliness-and-a-dee_103943.png)

> [Your life is not going to be easy, and it should not be easy. It ought to be hard. It ought to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/your-life-is-not-going-to-be-easy-and-it-should-not-be-easy-it-ought/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/244/henri-nouwen-600_easy_your-life-is-not-going-to-be-easy-and-it_499177.png)

> [In solitude we become aware that we were together before we came together and that life is not a creation of our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/in-solitude-we-become-aware-that-we-were-together-before-we-came/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/637/henri-nouwen-600_creation_in-solitude-we-become-aware-that-we-were_2256273.png)

> [Discipline in the spiritual life is the concentrated effort to create the space and time where God can become our master and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/discipline-in-the-spiritual-life-is-the-concentrated-effort-to-create/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e4a/henri-nouwen-600_discipline_discipline-in-the-spiritual-life-is-the_270458.png)

> [The tragedy of our lives is that, while we suffer from the wounds afflicted on us by those who love us, we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/the-tragedy-of-our-lives-is-that-while-we-suffer-from-the-wounds/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/364/henri-nouwen-600_life-is_the-tragedy-of-our-lives-is-that-while-w_973914.png)

## Other authors on Life is

## More by Henri Nouwen

> [We are not the healers, we are not the reconcilers, we are not the givers of life. We are sinful, broken, vulnerable people who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/we-are-not-the-healers-we-are-not-the-reconcilers-we-are-not-the/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

> [The more we touch the intimate love of God which creates, sustains, and guides us, the more we recognize the multitude of fruits that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/the-more-we-touch-the-intimate-love-of-god-which-creates-sustains-and/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

> [Feelings of guilt dominate our work as peacemakers we cannot last long. But when we have opened each other's eyes to the great human…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/feelings-of-guilt-dominate-our-work-as-peacemakers-we-cannot-last/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

> [...we all want to hear stories, from the moment we are born to the moment we die. Stories connect our little lives with the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/we-all-want-to-hear-stories-from-the-moment-we-are-born-to-the-moment/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

> [I have found it very important...to let go of my wishes and start hoping.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/i-have-found-it-very-important-to-let-go-of-my-wishes-and-start-hoping/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

> [Simply being with someone is difficult because it asks of us that we share in the other's vulnerability, enter with him or her into…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/simply-being-with-someone-is-difficult-because-it-asks-of-us-that-we/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

> [Somewhere we know that without silence, words lose their meaning.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/somewhere-we-know-that-without-silence-words-lose-their-meaning/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

> [Jesus says, "Keep your heart on the kingdom first. Keep your heart on God's love. Keep focused on the fact that you are God's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/jesus-says-keep-your-heart-on-the-kingdom-first-keep-your-heart-on/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

> [This sounds very simple and maybe even trite, but very few people know that they are loved without condition or limits.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/this-sounds-very-simple-and-maybe-even-trite-but-very-few-people-know/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

> [“The more preoccupied we are with security the more visible the force of death becomes, whether in the form of a pistol beside our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/the-more-preoccupied-we-are-with-security-the-more-visible-the-force/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

> [If you feel a great loneliness and a deep longing for human contact, you have to be extremely discerning...and ask yourself whether this situation…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/if-you-feel-a-great-loneliness-and-a-deep-longing-for-human-contact/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

> [I choose L'Arche; L'Arche chooses me. I would be dead if I weren't here. I need people to love me and care for me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/i-choose-l-arche-l-arche-chooses-me-i-would-be-dead-if-i-weren-t-here/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

> [The truth, even though I cannot feel it right now, is that I am the chosen child of God, precious in God's eyes, called…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/the-truth-even-though-i-cannot-feel-it-right-now-is-that-i-am-the/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

> [In a world so torn apart by rivalry, anger, and hatred, we have the privileged vocation to be living signs of a love that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/in-a-world-so-torn-apart-by-rivalry-anger-and-hatred-we-have-the/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

> [Where true inner freedom is, there is God. And where God is, there we want to be.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/where-true-inner-freedom-is-there-is-god-and-where-god-is-there-we/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

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                        "text": "Community life is not easy for somebody like me, who is used to living by himself and doing what he wants. It's a demanding life, and you quickly get in touch with your own handicaps and weaknesses.",
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                        "text": "The spiritual life is a life beyond moods. It is a life in which we choose joy and do not allow ourselves to become victims of passing feelings of happiness or depression.",
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                        "text": "I have found it very important in my own life to try to let go of my wishes and instead to live in hope. I am finding that when I choose to let go of my sometimes petty and superficial wishes and trust that my life is precious and meaningful in the eyes of God something really new, something beyond my own expectations begins to happen for me. (Finding My Way Home)",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "But what I would like to say is that the spiritual life is a life in which you gradually learn to listen to a voice that says something else, that says, \"You are the beloved and on you my favour rests.\"... I want you to hear that voice. It is not a very loud voice because it is an intimate voice. It comes from a very deep place. It is soft and gentle. I want you to gradually hear that voice. We both have to hear that voice and to claim for ourselves that that voice speaks the truth, our truth. It tells us who we are.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "This is what life is about. It is being sent on a trip by a loving God, who is waiting at home for our return and is eager to watch the slides we took and hear about the friends we made. When we travel with the eyes and ears of the God who sent us, we will see wonderful sights, hear wonderful sounds, meet wonderful people ... and be happy to return home.",
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                        "text": "Our spiritual life is a life in which we wait, actively present to the moment, expecting that new things will happen to us, new things that are far beyond our own imagination or prediction. This, indeed, is a very radical stance toward life in a world preoccupied with control.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "The mystery of the spiritual life is that Jesus desires to meet us in the seclusion of our own heart, to make his love known to us there, to free us from our fears, and to make our own deepest self known to us Each time you let the love of God penetrate deeper into your heart it leads to a love of ourselves that enables us to give whole-hearted love to our fellow human beings. In the seclusion of our hearts we learn to know the hidden presence of God; and with that spiritual knowledge we can lead a loving life.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Life is precious. Not because it is unchangeable, like a diamond, but because it is vulnerable, like a little bird. To love life means to love its vulnerability, asking for care, attention, guidance, and support. Life and death are connected by vulnerability. The newborn child and the dying elder both remind us of the preciousness of our lives. Let's not forget the preciousness and vulnerability of life during the times we are powerful, successful, and popular.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Let's start with Jesus' answer: \"Look for the kingdom first and all else will come together.\" Life is fragmenting, fragmented. I have a thousands things to do, others do too. We can live our life as if the main question is, \"How can keep it together? How do I juggle all the balls? But the real question is, \"How can I stay home - interiorly home - while I do these many things?",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "A little criticism makes me angry, and a little rejection makes me depressed. A little praise raises my spirits, and a little success excites me. It takes very little to raise me up or thrust me down. Often I am like a small boat on the ocean, completely at the mercy of its waves. All the time and energy I spend in keeping some kind of balance and preventing myself from being tipped over and drowning shows my life is mostly a struggle for survival: not a holy struggle, but an anxious struggle resulting from the mistaken idea that it is the world that defines me.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "If you feel a great loneliness and a deep longing for human contact, you have to be extremely discerning...and ask yourself whether this situation is truly God given. Because where God wants you to be, God holds you safe and gives you peace, even when there is pain. To live a disciplined life is to live in such a way that you want only to be where God is with you. The more deeply you live your spiritual life, the easier it will be to discern the difference between living with God and living without God, and the easier it will be to move away from the places where God is no longer with you.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Your life is not going to be easy, and it should not be easy. It ought to be hard. It ought to be radical; it ought to be restless; it ought to lead you to places you'd rather not go.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "In solitude we become aware that we were together before we came together and that life is not a creation of our will but rather an obedient response to the reality of our being united.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Discipline in the spiritual life is the concentrated effort to create the space and time where God can become our master and where we can respond freely to God's guidance.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "The tragedy of our lives is that, while we suffer from the wounds afflicted on us by those who love us, we cannot avoid wounding those we want to love.",
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