--- title: "17 Laughing Quotes By Mark Twain" description: "17 Laughing quotes by Mark Twain. Plus more from Mark Twain and more Laughing sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/018/mark-twain-22_comedy_we-laugh-and-laugh-then-cry-and-cry-then_804831.png" --- > [We laugh and laugh. Then cry and cry- Then feebler laugh, Then die.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/we-laugh-and-laugh-then-cry-and-cry-then-feebler-laugh-then-die/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/018/mark-twain-22_comedy_we-laugh-and-laugh-then-cry-and-cry-then_804831.png) > [A German joke is no laughing matter.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/a-german-joke-is-no-laughing-matter/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/523/mark-twain-22_comedy_a-german-joke-is-no-laughing-matter-3143_3143485.png) > [The ordinary chestnut can beget a sickly and reluctant laugh, but it takes a horse chestnut to fetch the gorgeous big horse-laugh.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/the-ordinary-chestnut-can-beget-a-sickly-and-reluctant-laugh-but-it/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b61/mark-twain-22_begets_the-ordinary-chestnut-can-beget-a-sickly_2381397.png) > [The devil's aversion to holy water is a light matter compared with a despots dread of a newspaper that laughs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/the-devil-s-aversion-to-holy-water-is-a-light-matter-compared-with-a/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a69/mark-twain-22_aversion_the-devil-s-aversion-to-holy-water-is-a_2887533.png) > [Laughter is the greatest weapon we have and we, as humans, use it the least.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/laughter-is-the-greatest-weapon-we-have-and-we-as-humans-use-it-the/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b9e/mark-twain-22_comedy_laughter-is-the-greatest-weapon-we-have_1219732.png) > [One should never use exclamation points in writing. It is like laughing at your own joke.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/one-should-never-use-exclamation-points-in-writing-it-is-like/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f52/mark-twain-22_advice_one-should-never-use-exclamation-points_1602916.png) > [I pity the fellow who has to create a dialect or paraphrase the dictionary to get laughs. I can't spell, but I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/i-pity-the-fellow-who-has-to-create-a-dialect-or-paraphrase-the/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9fb/mark-twain-22_bones_i-pity-the-fellow-who-has-to-create-a-di_2053636.png) > [The old man laughed loud and joyously, shook up the details of his anatomy from head to foot, and ended by saying…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/the-old-man-laughed-loud-and-joyously-shook-up-the-details-of-his-2/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ff9/mark-twain-22_anatomy_the-old-man-laughed-loud-and-joyously-sh_2125942.png) > [I never made a success of a lecture delivered in a church yet. People are afraid to laugh in a church. They…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/i-never-made-a-success-of-a-lecture-delivered-in-a-church-yet-people/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b69/mark-twain-22_church_i-never-made-a-success-of-a-lecture-deli_555871.png) > [The signs of excessive indulgence in this destructive pastime are easily detectable. They are these: A disposition to eat, to drink, to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/the-signs-of-excessive-indulgence-in-this-destructive-pastime-are/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7fb/mark-twain-22_desire_the-signs-of-excessive-indulgence-in-thi_1325942.png) > [It is the Creator´s Grand Army, and he is the Commander-in-Chief... With these facts before you, now try to guess man´s chiefest…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/it-is-the-creator-s-grand-army-and-he-is-the-commander-in-chief-with/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/252/mark-twain-22_army_it-is-the-creator-s-grand-army-and-he-is_2449477.jpg) > [A little more kindness, A little less speed, A little more giving, A little less greed, A little more smile, A little…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/a-little-more-kindness-a-little-less-speed-a-little-more-giving-a/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1cf/mark-twain-22_cry_a-little-more-kindness-a-little-less-spe_2656572.png) > [The true and lasting genius of humour does not drag you thus to boxes labelled 'pathos,' 'humour,' and show you all the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/the-true-and-lasting-genius-of-humour-does-not-drag-you-thus-to-boxes/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0db/mark-twain-22_boxes_the-true-and-lasting-genius-of-humour-do_1655851.jpg) > [The Church worked hard at it night and day during nine centuries and imprisoned, tortured, hanged, and burned whole hordes and armies…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/the-church-worked-hard-at-it-night-and-day-during-nine-centuries-and/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/354/mark-twain-22_army_the-church-worked-hard-at-it-night-and-d_1166666.png) > [Nevertheless we have this curious spectacle: daily the trained parrot in the pulpit gravely delivers himself of these ironies, which he has…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/nevertheless-we-have-this-curious-spectacle-daily-the-trained-parrot/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c2/mark-twain-22_accepting_nevertheless-we-have-this-curious-specta_1524035.jpg) > [Will a day come when the race will detect the funniness of these juvenilities and laugh at them—and by laughing at them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/will-a-day-come-when-the-race-will-detect-the-funniness-of-these/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/526/mark-twain-22_assault_will-a-day-come-when-the-race-will-detec_1815693.jpg) > [Heaven knows insanity was disreputable enough, long ago; but now that the lawyers have got to cutting every gallows rope and picking…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/heaven-knows-insanity-was-disreputable-enough-long-ago-but-now-that/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f13/mark-twain-22_claims_heaven-knows-insanity-was-disreputable-e_497581.jpg) ## Other authors on Laughing ## More by Mark Twain > [Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/sing-like-no-one-s-listening-love-like-you-ve-never-been-hurt-dance/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/if-you-had-made-the-acquiring-of-ignorance-the-study-of-your-life-you/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/the-creator-sat-upon-the-throne-thinking-behind-him-stretched-the/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [It's easy to quit smoking. I've done it hundreds of times.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/it-s-easy-to-quit-smoking-i-ve-done-it-hundreds-of-times/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [“It is never wrong to do the right thing.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/it-is-never-wrong-to-do-the-right-thing/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/a-man-accustomed-to-american-food-and-american-domestic-cookery-would/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [There is nothing training can't cannot do. Nothing is above its reach.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/there-is-nothing-training-can-t-cannot-do-nothing-is-above-its-reach/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/i-never-write-metropolis-for-seven-cents-because-i-can-get-the-same/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/the-higher-animals-get-their-teeth-without-pain-or-inconvenience-man/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/as-far-as-i-can-see-italy-for-fifteen-hundred-years-has-turned-all/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [Begin with the determination to succeed and the work is half done already.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/begin-with-the-determination-to-succeed-and-the-work-is-half-done/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/many-public-school-children-seem-to-know-only-two-dates-1492-and-4th/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [If we could imagine such a man, that is a man who could invent the fly and send him out on his mission and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/if-we-could-imagine-such-a-man-that-is-a-man-who-could-invent-the-fly/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/you-perceive-now-that-these-things-are-all-impossible-except-in-a/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/lord-save-us-all-from-a-hope-tree-that-has-lost-the-faculty-of/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/laughing/mark-twain/#itemlist", "name": "17 Laughing Quotes By Mark Twain", "numberOfItems": 17, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "We laugh and laugh. 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I love a drink, but I never encouraged drunkenness by harping on its alleged funny side.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mark Twain" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/i-pity-the-fellow-who-has-to-create-a-dialect-or-paraphrase-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9fb/mark-twain-22_bones_i-pity-the-fellow-who-has-to-create-a-di_2053636.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9fb/mark-twain-22_bones_i-pity-the-fellow-who-has-to-create-a-di_2053636.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9fb/mark-twain-22_bones_i-pity-the-fellow-who-has-to-create-a-di_2053636.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I pity the fellow who has to create a dialect or paraphrase the dictionary to get laughs. 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People are afraid to laugh in a church. They can't be made to do it in any possible way.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mark Twain" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/i-never-made-a-success-of-a-lecture-delivered-in-a-church-yet-people/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b69/mark-twain-22_church_i-never-made-a-success-of-a-lecture-deli_555871.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b69/mark-twain-22_church_i-never-made-a-success-of-a-lecture-deli_555871.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b69/mark-twain-22_church_i-never-made-a-success-of-a-lecture-deli_555871.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I never made a success of a lecture delivered in a church yet. People are afraid to laugh in a church. They…” — Mark Twain", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The signs of excessive indulgence in this destructive pastime are easily detectable. They are these: A disposition to eat, to drink, to smoke, to meet together convivially, to laugh, to joke, and tell indelicate stories— and mainly, a yearning to paint pictures.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mark Twain" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/the-signs-of-excessive-indulgence-in-this-destructive-pastime-are/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7fb/mark-twain-22_desire_the-signs-of-excessive-indulgence-in-thi_1325942.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7fb/mark-twain-22_desire_the-signs-of-excessive-indulgence-in-thi_1325942.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7fb/mark-twain-22_desire_the-signs-of-excessive-indulgence-in-thi_1325942.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The signs of excessive indulgence in this destructive pastime are easily detectable. They are these: A…” — Mark Twain", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It is the Creator´s Grand Army, and he is the Commander-in-Chief... With these facts before you, now try to guess man´s chiefest pet name for this ferocious Commander-in-Chief? I will save you the trouble but you must not laugh. It is Our Father in Heaven.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mark Twain" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/it-is-the-creator-s-grand-army-and-he-is-the-commander-in-chief-with/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/252/mark-twain-22_army_it-is-the-creator-s-grand-army-and-he-is_2449477.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/252/mark-twain-22_army_it-is-the-creator-s-grand-army-and-he-is_2449477.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/252/mark-twain-22_army_it-is-the-creator-s-grand-army-and-he-is_2449477.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It is the Creator´s Grand Army, and he is the Commander-in-Chief... With these facts before you, now try to…” — Mark Twain", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "A little more kindness, A little less speed, A little more giving, A little less greed, A little more smile, A little less frown, A little less kicking, A man while he's down, A little more \"We\", A little less \"I\", A little more laugh, A little less cry, A little more flowers, On the pathway of life, And fewer on graves, At the end of the strife.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mark Twain" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/a-little-more-kindness-a-little-less-speed-a-little-more-giving-a/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1cf/mark-twain-22_cry_a-little-more-kindness-a-little-less-spe_2656572.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1cf/mark-twain-22_cry_a-little-more-kindness-a-little-less-spe_2656572.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1cf/mark-twain-22_cry_a-little-more-kindness-a-little-less-spe_2656572.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“A little more kindness, A little less speed, A little more giving, A little less greed, A little more smile…” — Mark Twain", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 13, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The true and lasting genius of humour does not drag you thus to boxes labelled 'pathos,' 'humour,' and show you all the mechanism of the inimitable puppets that are going to perform. How I used to laugh at Simon Tapperwit, and the Wellers, and a host more! But I can't do it now somehow; and time, it seems to me, is the true test of humour. It must be antiseptic.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mark Twain" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/the-true-and-lasting-genius-of-humour-does-not-drag-you-thus-to-boxes/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0db/mark-twain-22_boxes_the-true-and-lasting-genius-of-humour-do_1655851.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0db/mark-twain-22_boxes_the-true-and-lasting-genius-of-humour-do_1655851.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0db/mark-twain-22_boxes_the-true-and-lasting-genius-of-humour-do_1655851.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The true and lasting genius of humour does not drag you thus to boxes labelled 'pathos,' 'humour,' and show…” — Mark Twain", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 14, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The Church worked hard at it night and day during nine centuries and imprisoned, tortured, hanged, and burned whole hordes and armies of witches, and washed the Christian world clean with their foul blood. Then it was discovered that there was no such thing as witches, and never had been. One doesn't know whether to laugh or to cry. Who discovered that there was no such thing as a witch - the priest, the parson? No, these never discover anything.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mark Twain" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/the-church-worked-hard-at-it-night-and-day-during-nine-centuries-and/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/354/mark-twain-22_army_the-church-worked-hard-at-it-night-and-d_1166666.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/354/mark-twain-22_army_the-church-worked-hard-at-it-night-and-d_1166666.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/354/mark-twain-22_army_the-church-worked-hard-at-it-night-and-d_1166666.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The Church worked hard at it night and day during nine centuries and imprisoned, tortured, hanged, and…” — Mark Twain", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 15, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Nevertheless we have this curious spectacle: daily the trained parrot in the pulpit gravely delivers himself of these ironies, which he has acquired at second-hand and adopted without examination, to a trained congregation which accepts them without examination, and neither the speaker nor the hearer laughs at himself. It does seem as if we ought to be humble when we are at a bench-show, and not put on airs of intellectual superiority there.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mark Twain" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/nevertheless-we-have-this-curious-spectacle-daily-the-trained-parrot/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c2/mark-twain-22_accepting_nevertheless-we-have-this-curious-specta_1524035.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c2/mark-twain-22_accepting_nevertheless-we-have-this-curious-specta_1524035.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c2/mark-twain-22_accepting_nevertheless-we-have-this-curious-specta_1524035.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Nevertheless we have this curious spectacle: daily the trained parrot in the pulpit gravely delivers himself…” — Mark Twain", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 16, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Will a day come when the race will detect the funniness of these juvenilities and laugh at them—and by laughing at them destroy them? For your race, in its poverty, has unquestionably one really effective weapon—laughter. Power, Money, Persuasion, Supplication, Persecution--these can lift at a colossal humbug,—push it a little— crowd it a little—weaken it a little, century by century: but only Laughter can blow it to rags and atoms at a blast. 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