--- title: "18 Laughing Quotes By Jack Handey" description: "18 Laughing quotes by Jack Handey. Plus more from Jack Handey and more Laughing sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/365/jack-handey-829_come-up_if-they-ever-come-up-with-a-swashbucklin_785736.jpg" --- > [If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/if-they-ever-come-up-with-a-swashbuckling-school-i-think-one-of-the/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/365/jack-handey-829_come-up_if-they-ever-come-up-with-a-swashbucklin_785736.jpg) > [I have to laugh when I think of the first cigar, because it was probably just a bunch of rolled-up tobacco leaves.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/i-have-to-laugh-when-i-think-of-the-first-cigar-because-it-was/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1e0/jack-handey-829_bunch_i-have-to-laugh-when-i-think-of-the-firs_1809562.jpg) > [Here's a suggestion for a new animal, if some new ones get created or evolve: something that stings you, then laughs at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/here-s-a-suggestion-for-a-new-animal-if-some-new-ones-get-created-or/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e2/jack-handey-829_animal_here-s-a-suggestion-for-a-new-animal-if_104991.jpg) > [If you're robbing a bank and your pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh, and let your hostages laugh too,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/if-you-re-robbing-a-bank-and-your-pants-fall-down-i-think-it-s-okay/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ffd/jack-handey-829_fall_if-you-re-robbing-a-bank-and-your-pants_1509101.jpg) > [I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/i-hope-that-someday-we-will-be-able-to-put-away-our-fears-and/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2e2/jack-handey-829_able_i-hope-that-someday-we-will-be-able-to-p_2178604.jpg) > [Laugh, clown, laugh. This is what I tell myself whenever I dress up like Bozo.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/laugh-clown-laugh-this-is-what-i-tell-myself-whenever-i-dress-up-like/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a72/jack-handey-829_bozo_laugh-clown-laugh-this-is-what-i-tell-my_2440433.jpg) > [If you want to be the popular one at a party, here's a good thing to do: Go up to some people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/if-you-want-to-be-the-popular-one-at-a-party-here-s-a-good-thing-to/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b9e/jack-handey-829_deep-thought_if-you-want-to-be-the-popular-one-at-a-p_1291714.jpg) > [Marta was watching the football game with me when she said, "You know, most of these sports are based on the idea…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/marta-was-watching-the-football-game-with-me-when-she-said-you-know/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eb7/jack-handey-829_ball-game_marta-was-watching-the-football-game-wit_349964.jpg) > [Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/whenever-i-see-an-old-lady-slip-and-fall-on-a-wet-sidewalk-my-first/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b6/jack-handey-829_ants_whenever-i-see-an-old-lady-slip-and-fall_600960.jpg) > [One day one of my little nephews came up to me and asked me if the equator was a real line that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/one-day-one-of-my-little-nephews-came-up-to-me-and-asked-me-if-the/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ab8/jack-handey-829_deep-thought_one-day-one-of-my-little-nephews-came-up_944640.jpg) > [People laugh when I say that I think a jellyfish is one of the most beautiful things in the world. What they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/people-laugh-when-i-say-that-i-think-a-jellyfish-is-one-of-the-most/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/719/jack-handey-829_beautiful_people-laugh-when-i-say-that-i-think-a-j_298786.jpg) > [Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/anytime-i-see-something-screech-across-a-room-and-latch-onto-someone/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ac4/jack-handey-829_deep-thought_anytime-i-see-something-screech-across-a_2123111.jpg) > [I remember how, in college, I got that part-time job as a circus clown, and how the children would laugh and laugh…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/i-remember-how-in-college-i-got-that-part-time-job-as-a-circus-clown/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/200/jack-handey-829_children_i-remember-how-in-college-i-got-that-par_2590860.jpg) > [It's probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you're talking to the president, because what if he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/it-s-probably-not-a-good-idea-to-be-chewing-on-a-toothpick-if-you-re/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/607/jack-handey-829_chew_it-s-probably-not-a-good-idea-to-be-chew_33733.jpg) > [Despair is like a cable that is buried just under the surface of the ground. You pull it up and pull it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/despair-is-like-a-cable-that-is-buried-just-under-the-surface-of-the/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/572/jack-handey-829_bigs_despair-is-like-a-cable-that-is-buried-j_966693.jpg) > [I bet a fun thing would be to go way back in time to where there was going to be an eclipse…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/i-bet-a-fun-thing-would-be-to-go-way-back-in-time-to-where-there-was/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2d2/jack-handey-829_back-in-time_i-bet-a-fun-thing-would-be-to-go-way-bac_1744002.jpg) > [If I lived in the Wild West days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/if-i-lived-in-the-wild-west-days-instead-of-carrying-a-six-gun-in-my/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/86d/jack-handey-829_ashamed_if-i-lived-in-the-wild-west-days-instead_842438.jpg) > [Why is it that we will laugh at a man in a clown outfit, but we won't laugh at a man just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/why-is-it-that-we-will-laugh-at-a-man-in-a-clown-outfit-but-we-won-t/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b8/jack-handey-829_bags_why-is-it-that-we-will-laugh-at-a-man-in_2112665.jpg) ## Other authors on Laughing ## More by Jack Handey > [Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/sometimes-life-seems-like-a-dream-especially-when-i-look-down-and-see/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [I think the best Thanksgiving we ever had was one where we didn't even have a turkey. Mom and Dad sat us kids down…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/i-think-the-best-thanksgiving-we-ever-had-was-one-where-we-didn-t/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/at-first-i-thought-if-i-were-superman-a-perfect-secret-identity-would/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [Sometimes I wonder if I'm patriotic enough. Yes, I want to kill people, but on both sides.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/sometimes-i-wonder-if-i-m-patriotic-enough-yes-i-want-to-kill-people/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [I don't understand people who say life is a mystery, because what is it they want to know?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/i-don-t-understand-people-who-say-life-is-a-mystery-because-what-is/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [It's probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you're talking to the president, because what if he tells a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/it-s-probably-not-a-good-idea-to-be-chewing-on-a-toothpick-if-you-re/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [Probably to a shark, about the funniest thing there is is a wounded seal, trying to swim to shore, because WHERE DOES HE THINK…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/probably-to-a-shark-about-the-funniest-thing-there-is-is-a-wounded/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [I wish I lived back in the Old West days, because I'd save up my money for about twenty years so I could buy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/i-wish-i-lived-back-in-the-old-west-days-because-i-d-save-up-my-money/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [Why do there have to be rules for everything? It's gotten to the point that rules dominate just about every aspect of our lives.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/why-do-there-have-to-be-rules-for-everything-it-s-gotten-to-the-point/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/most-people-don-t-realize-that-large-pieces-of-coral-which-have-been/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [Here's a suggestion for a new animal, if some new ones get created or evolve: something that stings you, then laughs at you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/here-s-a-suggestion-for-a-new-animal-if-some-new-ones-get-created-or/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [When you go ice-skating, try not to swing your arms too much, because that really annoys me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/when-you-go-ice-skating-try-not-to-swing-your-arms-too-much-because/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [When you go to a party at somebody's house, don't automatically assume that the drinks are free. Ask, and ask often.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/when-you-go-to-a-party-at-somebody-s-house-don-t-automatically-assume/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he made a woman out of dirt and married…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/he-was-a-cowboy-mister-and-he-loved-the-land-he-loved-it-so-much-he/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [If you were a gladiator in olden days, I bet the inefficiency of how the gladiator fights were organized and scheduled would just drive…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/if-you-were-a-gladiator-in-olden-days-i-bet-the-inefficiency-of-how/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/laughing/jack-handey/#itemlist", "name": "18 Laughing Quotes By Jack Handey", "numberOfItems": 18, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jack Handey" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/if-they-ever-come-up-with-a-swashbuckling-school-i-think-one-of-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/365/jack-handey-829_come-up_if-they-ever-come-up-with-a-swashbucklin_785736.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/365/jack-handey-829_come-up_if-they-ever-come-up-with-a-swashbucklin_785736.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/365/jack-handey-829_come-up_if-they-ever-come-up-with-a-swashbucklin_785736.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then…” — Jack Handey", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I have to laugh when I think of the first cigar, because it was probably just a bunch of rolled-up tobacco leaves.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jack Handey" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/i-have-to-laugh-when-i-think-of-the-first-cigar-because-it-was/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1e0/jack-handey-829_bunch_i-have-to-laugh-when-i-think-of-the-firs_1809562.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1e0/jack-handey-829_bunch_i-have-to-laugh-when-i-think-of-the-firs_1809562.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1e0/jack-handey-829_bunch_i-have-to-laugh-when-i-think-of-the-firs_1809562.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I have to laugh when I think of the first cigar, because it was probably just a bunch of rolled-up tobacco…” — Jack Handey", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Here's a suggestion for a new animal, if some new ones get created or evolve: something that stings you, then laughs at you.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jack Handey" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/here-s-a-suggestion-for-a-new-animal-if-some-new-ones-get-created-or/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e2/jack-handey-829_animal_here-s-a-suggestion-for-a-new-animal-if_104991.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e2/jack-handey-829_animal_here-s-a-suggestion-for-a-new-animal-if_104991.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e2/jack-handey-829_animal_here-s-a-suggestion-for-a-new-animal-if_104991.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Here's a suggestion for a new animal, if some new ones get created or evolve: something that stings you…” — Jack Handey", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If you're robbing a bank and your pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh, and let your hostages laugh too, because come on - life is funny.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jack Handey" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/if-you-re-robbing-a-bank-and-your-pants-fall-down-i-think-it-s-okay/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ffd/jack-handey-829_fall_if-you-re-robbing-a-bank-and-your-pants_1509101.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ffd/jack-handey-829_fall_if-you-re-robbing-a-bank-and-your-pants_1509101.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ffd/jack-handey-829_fall_if-you-re-robbing-a-bank-and-your-pants_1509101.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If you're robbing a bank and your pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh, and let your hostages laugh…” — Jack Handey", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 5, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jack Handey" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/i-hope-that-someday-we-will-be-able-to-put-away-our-fears-and/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2e2/jack-handey-829_able_i-hope-that-someday-we-will-be-able-to-p_2178604.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2e2/jack-handey-829_able_i-hope-that-someday-we-will-be-able-to-p_2178604.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2e2/jack-handey-829_able_i-hope-that-someday-we-will-be-able-to-p_2178604.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.” — Jack Handey", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 6, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Laugh, clown, laugh. This is what I tell myself whenever I dress up like Bozo.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jack Handey" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/laugh-clown-laugh-this-is-what-i-tell-myself-whenever-i-dress-up-like/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a72/jack-handey-829_bozo_laugh-clown-laugh-this-is-what-i-tell-my_2440433.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a72/jack-handey-829_bozo_laugh-clown-laugh-this-is-what-i-tell-my_2440433.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a72/jack-handey-829_bozo_laugh-clown-laugh-this-is-what-i-tell-my_2440433.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Laugh, clown, laugh. This is what I tell myself whenever I dress up like Bozo.” — Jack Handey", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If you want to be the popular one at a party, here's a good thing to do: Go up to some people who are talking and laughing and say, \"Well, technically that's illegal.\" It might fit in with what somebody just said. And even if it doesn't, so what, I hate this stupid party.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jack Handey" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/if-you-want-to-be-the-popular-one-at-a-party-here-s-a-good-thing-to/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b9e/jack-handey-829_deep-thought_if-you-want-to-be-the-popular-one-at-a-p_1291714.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b9e/jack-handey-829_deep-thought_if-you-want-to-be-the-popular-one-at-a-p_1291714.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b9e/jack-handey-829_deep-thought_if-you-want-to-be-the-popular-one-at-a-p_1291714.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If you want to be the popular one at a party, here's a good thing to do: Go up to some people who are…” — Jack Handey", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Marta was watching the football game with me when she said, \"You know, most of these sports are based on the idea of one group protecting its territory from invasion by another group.\" \"Yeah,\" I said, trying not to laugh. Girls are funny.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jack Handey" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/marta-was-watching-the-football-game-with-me-when-she-said-you-know/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eb7/jack-handey-829_ball-game_marta-was-watching-the-football-game-wit_349964.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eb7/jack-handey-829_ball-game_marta-was-watching-the-football-game-wit_349964.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eb7/jack-handey-829_ball-game_marta-was-watching-the-football-game-wit_349964.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Marta was watching the football game with me when she said, \"You know, most of these sports are based on the…” — Jack Handey", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jack Handey" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/whenever-i-see-an-old-lady-slip-and-fall-on-a-wet-sidewalk-my-first/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b6/jack-handey-829_ants_whenever-i-see-an-old-lady-slip-and-fall_600960.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b6/jack-handey-829_ants_whenever-i-see-an-old-lady-slip-and-fall_600960.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b6/jack-handey-829_ants_whenever-i-see-an-old-lady-slip-and-fall_600960.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think…” — Jack Handey", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "One day one of my little nephews came up to me and asked me if the equator was a real line that went around the Earth, or just an imaginary one. I had to laugh. Laugh and laugh. Because I didn't know, and I thought that maybe by laughing he would forget what he asked me.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jack Handey" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/one-day-one-of-my-little-nephews-came-up-to-me-and-asked-me-if-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ab8/jack-handey-829_deep-thought_one-day-one-of-my-little-nephews-came-up_944640.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ab8/jack-handey-829_deep-thought_one-day-one-of-my-little-nephews-came-up_944640.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ab8/jack-handey-829_deep-thought_one-day-one-of-my-little-nephews-came-up_944640.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“One day one of my little nephews came up to me and asked me if the equator was a real line that went around…” — Jack Handey", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "People laugh when I say that I think a jellyfish is one of the most beautiful things in the world. What they don't understand is, I mean a jellyfish with long, blond hair.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jack Handey" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/people-laugh-when-i-say-that-i-think-a-jellyfish-is-one-of-the-most/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/719/jack-handey-829_beautiful_people-laugh-when-i-say-that-i-think-a-j_298786.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/719/jack-handey-829_beautiful_people-laugh-when-i-say-that-i-think-a-j_298786.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/719/jack-handey-829_beautiful_people-laugh-when-i-say-that-i-think-a-j_298786.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“People laugh when I say that I think a jellyfish is one of the most beautiful things in the world. What they…” — Jack Handey", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what IS that thing?!", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jack Handey" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/anytime-i-see-something-screech-across-a-room-and-latch-onto-someone/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ac4/jack-handey-829_deep-thought_anytime-i-see-something-screech-across-a_2123111.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ac4/jack-handey-829_deep-thought_anytime-i-see-something-screech-across-a_2123111.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ac4/jack-handey-829_deep-thought_anytime-i-see-something-screech-across-a_2123111.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries…” — Jack Handey", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 13, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I remember how, in college, I got that part-time job as a circus clown, and how the children would laugh and laugh at me. I vowed, then and there, that I would get revenge.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jack Handey" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/i-remember-how-in-college-i-got-that-part-time-job-as-a-circus-clown/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/200/jack-handey-829_children_i-remember-how-in-college-i-got-that-par_2590860.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/200/jack-handey-829_children_i-remember-how-in-college-i-got-that-par_2590860.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/200/jack-handey-829_children_i-remember-how-in-college-i-got-that-par_2590860.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I remember how, in college, I got that part-time job as a circus clown, and how the children would laugh and…” — Jack Handey", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 14, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It's probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you're talking to the president, because what if he tells a funny joke and you laugh so hard you spit the toothpick out and it hits him in the face or something.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jack Handey" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/it-s-probably-not-a-good-idea-to-be-chewing-on-a-toothpick-if-you-re/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/607/jack-handey-829_chew_it-s-probably-not-a-good-idea-to-be-chew_33733.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/607/jack-handey-829_chew_it-s-probably-not-a-good-idea-to-be-chew_33733.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/607/jack-handey-829_chew_it-s-probably-not-a-good-idea-to-be-chew_33733.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It's probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you're talking to the president, because what…” — Jack Handey", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 15, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Despair is like a cable that is buried just under the surface of the ground. You pull it up and pull it up, but that cable just keeps right on going, clear across a field, until you come to a bunch of guys who are burying the cable. Then just walk up to them and go, \"Hey, have you seen Fred?\" And they'll say, \"Fred who?\" And you say, \"Fred of snakes?\" Then cover your ears, because big laughs are coming.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jack Handey" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/despair-is-like-a-cable-that-is-buried-just-under-the-surface-of-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/572/jack-handey-829_bigs_despair-is-like-a-cable-that-is-buried-j_966693.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/572/jack-handey-829_bigs_despair-is-like-a-cable-that-is-buried-j_966693.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/572/jack-handey-829_bigs_despair-is-like-a-cable-that-is-buried-j_966693.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Despair is like a cable that is buried just under the surface of the ground. 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That was if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like, \"Hey look. He's carrying a soldering iron!\" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, \"That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice.\" Then everyone would get real quiet and ashamed, because they made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jack Handey" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/if-i-lived-in-the-wild-west-days-instead-of-carrying-a-six-gun-in-my/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/86d/jack-handey-829_ashamed_if-i-lived-in-the-wild-west-days-instead_842438.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/86d/jack-handey-829_ashamed_if-i-lived-in-the-wild-west-days-instead_842438.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/86d/jack-handey-829_ashamed_if-i-lived-in-the-wild-west-days-instead_842438.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If I lived in the Wild West days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron…” — Jack Handey", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 18, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Why is it that we will laugh at a man in a clown outfit, but we won't laugh at a man just walking down the street carrying a clown outfit in one of theose plastic dry-cleaner bags?", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jack Handey" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/why-is-it-that-we-will-laugh-at-a-man-in-a-clown-outfit-but-we-won-t/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b8/jack-handey-829_bags_why-is-it-that-we-will-laugh-at-a-man-in_2112665.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b8/jack-handey-829_bags_why-is-it-that-we-will-laugh-at-a-man-in_2112665.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b8/jack-handey-829_bags_why-is-it-that-we-will-laugh-at-a-man-in_2112665.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Why is it that we will laugh at a man in a clown outfit, but we won't laugh at a man just walking down the…” — Jack Handey", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/laughing/jack-handey/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/laughing/jack-handey/", "name": "Laughing Quotes by Jack Handey", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/laughing/jack-handey/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/365/jack-handey-829_come-up_if-they-ever-come-up-with-a-swashbucklin_785736.jpg" }, "description": "18 Laughing quotes by Jack Handey. 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