---
title: "21 Late Quotes By Jarod Kintz"
description: "21 Late quotes by Jarod Kintz. Plus more from Jarod Kintz and more Late sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d62/jarod-kintz-2_late_i-m-running-late-but-that-s-ok-because-i_2684324.jpg"
---

> [“I’m running late. But that’s OK, because I’m wearing Nikes.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-m-running-late-but-that-s-ok-because-i-m-wearing-nikes/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d62/jarod-kintz-2_late_i-m-running-late-but-that-s-ok-because-i_2684324.jpg)

> [“The earliest I’ve ever been late is on time.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/the-earliest-i-ve-ever-been-late-is-on-time/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cdc/jarod-kintz-2_earliest_the-earliest-i-ve-ever-been-late-is-on-t_3070829.jpg)

> [“4 am—if I’m ever up that early, it’s because I’m up that late.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/4-am-if-i-m-ever-up-that-early-it-s-because-i-m-up-that-late/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/12f/jarod-kintz-2_quote_4-am-if-i-m-ever-up-that-early-it-s-beca_1836700.jpg)

> [If I promise you I'll show up fifteen minutes late, I'll always arrive on time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/if-i-promise-you-i-ll-show-up-fifteen-minutes-late-i-ll-always-arrive/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0df/jarod-kintz-2_time_if-i-promise-you-i-ll-show-up-fifteen-mi_1155781.jpg)

> [“Five minutes ago it was five minutes late, and my watch is five minutes slow.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/five-minutes-ago-it-was-five-minutes-late-and-my-watch-is-five/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d1a/jarod-kintz-2_late_five-minutes-ago-it-was-five-minutes-lat_2570731.jpg)

> [“My name is a half an hour early, but my body is on time.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/my-name-is-a-half-an-hour-early-but-my-body-is-on-time/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/78b/jarod-kintz-2_early_my-name-is-a-half-an-hour-early-but-my-b_433292.jpg)

> [“I’ll make Chad to you. By that I mean I’ll leave late and come early.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-ll-make-chad-to-you-by-that-i-mean-i-ll-leave-late-and-come-early/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/36e/jarod-kintz-2_late_i-ll-make-chad-to-you-by-that-i-mean-i-l_2745081.jpg)

> [“Sorry I’m late. Traffic was nonexistent.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/sorry-i-m-late-traffic-was-nonexistent/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b9b/jarod-kintz-2_late_sorry-i-m-late-traffic-was-nonexistent-2_2840770.jpg)

> [“You just tell me when and where, and not only will I not be there, but I’ll also be late.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/you-just-tell-me-when-and-where-and-not-only-will-i-not-be-there-but/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/94a/jarod-kintz-2_just_you-just-tell-me-when-and-where-and-not_247470.jpg)

> [“I made plans for 8:00. When my girlfriend told me she was late, I told her, “That’s funny, because my sperm was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-made-plans-for-8-00-when-my-girlfriend-told-me-she-was-late-i-told/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a9/jarod-kintz-2_late_i-made-plans-for-8-00-when-my-girlfriend_2680523.jpg)

> [“I was nine minutes late for my last birthday party. And I was nine months on time for my first birthday.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-was-nine-minutes-late-for-my-last-birthday-party-and-i-was-nine/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/180/jarod-kintz-2_birthday_i-was-nine-minutes-late-for-my-last-birt_2677062.jpg)

> [“4:00 am—it’s not too early to drink wine, it’s too late. Too late by seven minutes. ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/4-00-am-it-s-not-too-early-to-drink-wine-it-s-too-late-too-late-by/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/357/jarod-kintz-2_late_4-00-am-it-s-not-too-early-to-drink-wine_2761834.jpg)

> [“My name is Mr. Potatohead, and I’m looking for my wife. But I fear I’m too late, and that she’s already part…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/my-name-is-mr-potatohead-and-i-m-looking-for-my-wife-but-i-fear-i-m/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e75/jarod-kintz-2_late_my-name-is-mr-potatohead-and-i-m-looking_2777019.jpg)

> [“I feel like I’m late for love. I’ll be 30 in March. Damn it! I knew I should have set my alarm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-feel-like-i-m-late-for-love-i-ll-be-30-in-march-damn-it-i-knew-i/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/42a/jarod-kintz-2_alarm-clock_i-feel-like-i-m-late-for-love-i-ll-be-30_768951.jpg)

> [“I have an inconsequential errand to run tomorrow so I’ll get up at 5, be there at 5:30, and wait for them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-have-an-inconsequential-errand-to-run-tomorrow-so-i-ll-get-up-at-5/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ede/jarod-kintz-2_errand_i-have-an-inconsequential-errand-to-run_3095888.jpg)

> [“Agatha told me she was late, and I thought, I haven’t slept with her in years—she really must be late. I’m going…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/agatha-told-me-she-was-late-and-i-thought-i-haven-t-slept-with-her-in/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2af/jarod-kintz-2_late_agatha-told-me-she-was-late-and-i-though_2298695.jpg)

> [“I'm running late, but there's always time to scribble weird messages in guest signage books. Also, am I really late? The Catholic…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-m-running-late-but-there-s-always-time-to-scribble-weird-messages/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/751/jarod-kintz-2_history_i-m-running-late-but-there-s-always-time_1094686.jpg)

> [“The closer I get, the faster I have to go. Otherwise, I might be late to the very place where I’m not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/the-closer-i-get-the-faster-i-have-to-go-otherwise-i-might-be-late-to/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b57/jarod-kintz-2_quote_the-closer-i-get-the-faster-i-have-to-go_1272762.jpg)

> [“Me: On time. Women: Late. Death: Early.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/me-on-time-women-late-death-early/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/340/jarod-kintz-2_death_me-on-time-women-late-death-early-172621_172621.jpg)

> [“The time is now 3:34. Damn! I’m late for 3:33.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/the-time-is-now-3-34-damn-i-m-late-for-3-33/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/392/jarod-kintz-2_time_the-time-is-now-3-34-damn-i-m-late-for-3_1265058.jpg)

> [“I fell in love with her the moment she was late, though neither one of us knew it at the time because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-fell-in-love-with-her-the-moment-she-was-late-though-neither-one-of/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e5c/jarod-kintz-2_late_i-fell-in-love-with-her-the-moment-she-w_2548502.jpg)

## Other authors on Late

## More by Jarod Kintz

> [“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-notice-when-you-re-gone-or-do-i-how-can-i-observe-something-that/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“I wouldn’t love you if you were the last Sodomite in Gomorrah.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-wouldn-t-love-you-if-you-were-the-last-sodomite-in-gomorrah/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-to-make-sweet-sweet-music-with-the-love-of/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-brick-could-be-used-to-slow-down-time-sort-of-like-a-camel-in-a/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/we-have-a-love-so-pure-that-it-makes-snow-seem-yellow-don-t-eat-it/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-hid-mrs-frozenwater-s-body-in-the-ice-cube-trays-in-my-freezer/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/two-similar-words-might-lead-to-two-similar-ideas-they-might-also/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/nothing-is-and-isn-t-nothing-is-and-isn-t-nothing-itself-is-and-at/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“Embossed letters represent the topography of typography.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/embossed-letters-represent-the-topography-of-typography/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/there-s-only-one-piece-of-clothing-i-could-eat-fast-and-that-s-a-scarf/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/dora-j-arod-is-to-jarod-ora-as-yes-is-to-yes-yes-is-also-the-correct/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/the-best-part-about-being-kidnapped-is-being-blindfolded-and-getting/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/orafoura-once-told-me-that-if-i-were-a-car-i-d-be-a-ferrari-one-that/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/what-makes-a-good-leader-i-ask-myself-this-every-day-and-then-as-i/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-d-like-to-file-a-missing-person-s-report-on-my-clone-it-s-nearly/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

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                        "text": "“I made plans for 8:00. When my girlfriend told me she was late, I told her, “That’s funny, because my sperm was absent.”",
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                        "text": "“4:00 am—it’s not too early to drink wine, it’s too late. Too late by seven minutes.\u2028”",
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                        "text": "“My name is Mr. Potatohead, and I’m looking for my wife. But I fear I’m too late, and that she’s already part of some combo meal somewhere.”",
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                        "text": "“I feel like I’m late for love. I’ll be 30 in March. Damn it! I knew I should have set my alarm clock.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“I have an inconsequential errand to run tomorrow so I’ll get up at 5, be there at 5:30, and wait for them to open up at 10. I’m never late, except in love.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Agatha told me she was late, and I thought, I haven’t slept with her in years—she really must be late. I’m going to be a father!”",
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                        "text": "“I'm running late, but there's always time to scribble weird messages in guest signage books. Also, am I really late? The Catholic Church added a thousand years to history, so I figure I'm actually way ahead of schedule.”",
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                        "text": "“The closer I get, the faster I have to go. Otherwise, I might be late to the very place where I’m not even expected. Adding to my tardiness is the fact that I don’t even know where I’m going. And I can’t get from here to there when I don’t even know where I am, let alone where I’m going. All I know is I’m going fast, but not fast enough.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Me: On time. Women: Late. Death: Early.”",
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                        "text": "“The time is now 3:34. Damn! I’m late for 3:33.”",
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