--- title: "21 Knows Quotes By Lewis Black" description: "21 Knows quotes by Lewis Black. Plus more from Lewis Black and more Knows sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a64/lewis-black-1143_do-you-know_do-you-know-what-meteorologist-means-in_1509422.png" --- > [Do you know what 'meteorologist' means in English? It means liar.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/do-you-know-what-meteorologist-means-in-english-it-means-liar/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a64/lewis-black-1143_do-you-know_do-you-know-what-meteorologist-means-in_1509422.png) > [There are two things I know about life... Only the good die young but the real jerks will live forever.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/there-are-two-things-i-know-about-life-only-the-good-die-young-but/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a4b/lewis-black-1143_die-young_there-are-two-things-i-know-about-life-o_577229.png) > [We don't have seasons anymore. You know why? We lost the ozone layer. Well, put it on milk cartons - let's find…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/we-don-t-have-seasons-anymore-you-know-why-we-lost-the-ozone-layer/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/785/lewis-black-1143_knows_we-don-t-have-seasons-anymore-you-know-w_1700266.png) > [You know. I don't think I'm gonna be Jewish for very long.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/you-know-i-don-t-think-i-m-gonna-be-jewish-for-very-long/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3f1/lewis-black-1143_hanukkah_you-know-i-don-t-think-i-m-gonna-be-jewi_2922713.png) > [Now, they say that New Zealand is beautiful and I do not know -- because after 22 hours on a plane any…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/now-they-say-that-new-zealand-is-beautiful-and-i-do-not-know-because/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e54/lewis-black-1143_australia_now-they-say-that-new-zealand-is-beautif_725433.png) > [One thing I know about the rich, being rich, is that you can take money from me and tomorrow, I'm still going…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/one-thing-i-know-about-the-rich-being-rich-is-that-you-can-take-money/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a0c/lewis-black-1143_about_one-thing-i-know-about-the-rich-being-ri_3047403.png) > [This book is dedicated to all of my friends who helped me get to where I am today - you know who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/this-book-is-dedicated-to-all-of-my-friends-who-helped-me-get-to/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/333/lewis-black-1143_book_this-book-is-dedicated-to-all-of-my-frie_2916639.png) > [Pursue whatever it is that you want to do with your life. It is the only secret to happiness that I know…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/pursue-whatever-it-is-that-you-want-to-do-with-your-life-it-is-the/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1ba/lewis-black-1143_being-true_pursue-whatever-it-is-that-you-want-to-d_264824.png) > [You know what would help the instruction form? Verbs! Verbs would be nice! Because they help you get to the end of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/you-know-what-would-help-the-instruction-form-verbs-verbs-would-be/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fee/lewis-black-1143_being-nice_you-know-what-would-help-the-instruction_2724543.png) > [I had to watch the Republican stuff which makes me feel even older than I am. By the time I get through…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/i-had-to-watch-the-republican-stuff-which-makes-me-feel-even-older/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/81c/lewis-black-1143_democrat_i-had-to-watch-the-republican-stuff-whic_610896.jpg) > [I went to New Zealand this year, and, whew man, I know a lot of people want to go there. But let…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/i-went-to-new-zealand-this-year-and-whew-man-i-know-a-lot-of-people/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d61/lewis-black-1143_australia_i-went-to-new-zealand-this-year-and-whew_3053801.png) > [I have no religion because I was born and raised Jewish. And on the first night of Hanukkah, my parents, when I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/i-have-no-religion-because-i-was-born-and-raised-jewish-and-on-the/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f7/lewis-black-1143_born_i-have-no-religion-because-i-was-born-an_828000.jpg) > [You want to know what it's like to be on a plane for 22 hours? Sit in a chair, squeeze your head…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/you-want-to-know-what-it-s-like-to-be-on-a-plane-for-22-hours-sit-in/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/784/lewis-black-1143_air_you-want-to-know-what-it-s-like-to-be-on_2606315.png) > [I never thought that Bill Clinton should be the president. When he was running to be the president of the United States,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/i-never-thought-that-bill-clinton-should-be-the-president-when-he-was/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9a4/lewis-black-1143_accomplishment_i-never-thought-that-bill-clinton-should_322201.jpg) > [I think inevitably over the course of my lifetime there's been an underestimation of the American people, and I believe they are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/i-think-inevitably-over-the-course-of-my-lifetime-there-s-been-an/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e8b/lewis-black-1143_america_i-think-inevitably-over-the-course-of-my_1231021.png) > [It took forever for me to get work because I was a political comic, and now it's become good business, and God…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/it-took-forever-for-me-to-get-work-because-i-was-a-political-comic/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bf7/lewis-black-1143_after_it-took-forever-for-me-to-get-work-becau_2119639.jpg) > [They've gotta stop reporting wind chill. That's nonsense. It really is. I don't know where they came up with it, why they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/they-ve-gotta-stop-reporting-wind-chill-that-s-nonsense-it-really-is/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f3f/lewis-black-1143_chill_they-ve-gotta-stop-reporting-wind-chill_1261579.jpg) > [Going up to Canada is great because I'm not dealing with people carrying their agendas into the room. I'm lucky because 97%…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/going-up-to-canada-is-great-because-i-m-not-dealing-with-people/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e44/lewis-black-1143_agendas_going-up-to-canada-is-great-because-i-m_1651728.png) > [ \[The Weather Channel\] is the most watched cable channel in America. I'll repeat that. It is the most watched cable channel in… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/the-weather-channel-is-the-most-watched-cable-channel-in-america-i-ll/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/356/lewis-black-1143_america_the-weather-channel-is-the-most-watched_2201685.jpg) > [People go to Vegas, and they don't know what to do; here's what you do. You go to the casino in your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/people-go-to-vegas-and-they-don-t-know-what-to-do-here-s-what-you-do/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/478/lewis-black-1143_arrivals_people-go-to-vegas-and-they-don-t-know-w_3135878.png) > [I've seen the end of the universe, and it happens to be in the United States and, oddly enough, it's in Houston,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/i-ve-seen-the-end-of-the-universe-and-it-happens-to-be-in-the-united/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5fc/lewis-black-1143_back-and-forth_i-ve-seen-the-end-of-the-universe-and-it_696409.png) ## Other authors on Knows ## More by Lewis Black > [I think one reason people play golf is it allows them to obsess about something other than the daily crap. It takes your mind…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/i-think-one-reason-people-play-golf-is-it-allows-them-to-obsess-about/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) > [If you're going to vote for somebody because you think they have a great faith in God, you'd better be sure that God has…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/if-you-re-going-to-vote-for-somebody-because-you-think-they-have-a/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) > [I think that I don't panic as much as the folks on the left or the right do. I don't have that sense of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/i-think-that-i-don-t-panic-as-much-as-the-folks-on-the-left-or-the/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) > [“I don't know if you've noticed, but our two-party system is a bowl of shit looking at itself in the mirror.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/i-don-t-know-if-you-ve-noticed-but-our-two-party-system-is-a-bowl-of/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) > [These ballot initiatives against same sex marriage remind us that America is the land where people are free to dream whatever they want, so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/these-ballot-initiatives-against-same-sex-marriage-remind-us-that/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) > [If you're going to pick a book and you want to base a system of government around it, why not 'Harry Potter?'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/if-you-re-going-to-pick-a-book-and-you-want-to-base-a-system-of/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) > [No matter what, your parents are going to worry about you. I had a tour bus, and my mother still thought I was broke.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/no-matter-what-your-parents-are-going-to-worry-about-you-i-had-a-tour/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) > [I'm always amazed when I hear people saying, "That George Bush, he's a great leader". And I wonder, where can one find a drug…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/i-m-always-amazed-when-i-hear-people-saying-that-george-bush-he-s-a/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) > [I knew that I'd lived in New York too long when, a few years ago, I was on a subway going downtown, and it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/i-knew-that-i-d-lived-in-new-york-too-long-when-a-few-years-ago-i-was/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) > [If you're seeing a psychiatrist, you're wasting money because all you've got to do is get on a plane, get on a subway tomorrow…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/if-you-re-seeing-a-psychiatrist-you-re-wasting-money-because-all-you/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) > [Well first of all, I'd just like to say that 2005 was a great year, if you like swimming through crap.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/well-first-of-all-i-d-just-like-to-say-that-2005-was-a-great-year-if/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) > [I'd like the campaigning to be about all the things they're not going to do. Just tell me what you're not going do! Don't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/i-d-like-the-campaigning-to-be-about-all-the-things-they-re-not-going/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) > [All food is comfort food. Maybe I just like to chew.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/all-food-is-comfort-food-maybe-i-just-like-to-chew/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) > [Johnny Vassilaros is the man who has created the finest cup of coffee ever served in the city of New York.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/johnny-vassilaros-is-the-man-who-has-created-the-finest-cup-of-coffee/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) > [“At seven p.m., hope is sparked again when some new chirpy airline employee announces that a new plane without that nasty mechanical problem -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/at-seven-p-m-hope-is-sparked-again-when-some-new-chirpy-airline/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/knows/lewis-black/#itemlist", "name": "21 Knows Quotes By Lewis Black", "numberOfItems": 21, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Do you know what 'meteorologist' means in English? 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I don't think I'm gonna be Jewish for very long.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lewis Black" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/you-know-i-don-t-think-i-m-gonna-be-jewish-for-very-long/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3f1/lewis-black-1143_hanukkah_you-know-i-don-t-think-i-m-gonna-be-jewi_2922713.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3f1/lewis-black-1143_hanukkah_you-know-i-don-t-think-i-m-gonna-be-jewi_2922713.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3f1/lewis-black-1143_hanukkah_you-know-i-don-t-think-i-m-gonna-be-jewi_2922713.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“You know. 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It is the only secret to happiness that I know except for maybe true love, that and maybe having the amazing health insurance plan that our congressmen have.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lewis Black" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/pursue-whatever-it-is-that-you-want-to-do-with-your-life-it-is-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1ba/lewis-black-1143_being-true_pursue-whatever-it-is-that-you-want-to-d_264824.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1ba/lewis-black-1143_being-true_pursue-whatever-it-is-that-you-want-to-d_264824.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1ba/lewis-black-1143_being-true_pursue-whatever-it-is-that-you-want-to-d_264824.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Pursue whatever it is that you want to do with your life. It is the only secret to happiness that I know…” — Lewis Black", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "You know what would help the instruction form? Verbs! Verbs would be nice! Because they help you get to the end of a thought!", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lewis Black" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/you-know-what-would-help-the-instruction-form-verbs-verbs-would-be/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fee/lewis-black-1143_being-nice_you-know-what-would-help-the-instruction_2724543.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fee/lewis-black-1143_being-nice_you-know-what-would-help-the-instruction_2724543.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fee/lewis-black-1143_being-nice_you-know-what-would-help-the-instruction_2724543.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“You know what would help the instruction form? Verbs! Verbs would be nice! Because they help you get to the…” — Lewis Black", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I had to watch the Republican stuff which makes me feel even older than I am. By the time I get through the Democrats, I may be dead. I don't know how much older I can get.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lewis Black" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/i-had-to-watch-the-republican-stuff-which-makes-me-feel-even-older/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/81c/lewis-black-1143_democrat_i-had-to-watch-the-republican-stuff-whic_610896.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/81c/lewis-black-1143_democrat_i-had-to-watch-the-republican-stuff-whic_610896.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/81c/lewis-black-1143_democrat_i-had-to-watch-the-republican-stuff-whic_610896.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I had to watch the Republican stuff which makes me feel even older than I am. By the time I get through the…” — Lewis Black", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I went to New Zealand this year, and, whew man, I know a lot of people want to go there. But let me just tell you, it's 22 hours by plane. So, if you have the opportunity, don't.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lewis Black" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/i-went-to-new-zealand-this-year-and-whew-man-i-know-a-lot-of-people/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d61/lewis-black-1143_australia_i-went-to-new-zealand-this-year-and-whew_3053801.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d61/lewis-black-1143_australia_i-went-to-new-zealand-this-year-and-whew_3053801.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d61/lewis-black-1143_australia_i-went-to-new-zealand-this-year-and-whew_3053801.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I went to New Zealand this year, and, whew man, I know a lot of people want to go there. But let me just…” — Lewis Black", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I have no religion because I was born and raised Jewish. And on the first night of Hanukkah, my parents, when I was very young, gave me a top to play with. They called it a dreidel. I knew it was a top. And as I looked at that top, I said, 'You know. I don't think I'm gonna be Jewish for very long.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lewis Black" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/i-have-no-religion-because-i-was-born-and-raised-jewish-and-on-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f7/lewis-black-1143_born_i-have-no-religion-because-i-was-born-an_828000.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f7/lewis-black-1143_born_i-have-no-religion-because-i-was-born-an_828000.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f7/lewis-black-1143_born_i-have-no-religion-because-i-was-born-an_828000.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I have no religion because I was born and raised Jewish. 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Sit in a chair, squeeze your head as hard as you can, don't stop, then take a paper bag and put it over your mouth and nose and breath your own air over and over and over.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lewis Black" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/you-want-to-know-what-it-s-like-to-be-on-a-plane-for-22-hours-sit-in/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/784/lewis-black-1143_air_you-want-to-know-what-it-s-like-to-be-on_2606315.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/784/lewis-black-1143_air_you-want-to-know-what-it-s-like-to-be-on_2606315.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/784/lewis-black-1143_air_you-want-to-know-what-it-s-like-to-be-on_2606315.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“You want to know what it's like to be on a plane for 22 hours? Sit in a chair, squeeze your head as hard as…” — Lewis Black", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 14, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I never thought that Bill Clinton should be the president. When he was running to be the president of the United States, he said on over a hundred occasions, he said the following: He said, 'One of the great accomplishments while I was the governor of Arkansas, was to take my state in education from 50th to 49th.' 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When he was running to be the president of the…” — Lewis Black", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 15, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I think inevitably over the course of my lifetime there's been an underestimation of the American people, and I believe they are really the ones that give me hope. There's so much of \"they don't know this, and they don't know that,\" and they're always denigrating.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lewis Black" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/i-think-inevitably-over-the-course-of-my-lifetime-there-s-been-an/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e8b/lewis-black-1143_america_i-think-inevitably-over-the-course-of-my_1231021.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e8b/lewis-black-1143_america_i-think-inevitably-over-the-course-of-my_1231021.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e8b/lewis-black-1143_america_i-think-inevitably-over-the-course-of-my_1231021.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I think inevitably over the course of my lifetime there's been an underestimation of the American people…” — Lewis Black", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 16, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It took forever for me to get work because I was a political comic, and now it's become good business, and God knows how long that'll last. You have to do it night after night after night to kind of make it. I still find myself on 'Piers Morgan' or on some show and I think, 'I hope this is funny.'", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lewis Black" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/it-took-forever-for-me-to-get-work-because-i-was-a-political-comic/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bf7/lewis-black-1143_after_it-took-forever-for-me-to-get-work-becau_2119639.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bf7/lewis-black-1143_after_it-took-forever-for-me-to-get-work-becau_2119639.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bf7/lewis-black-1143_after_it-took-forever-for-me-to-get-work-becau_2119639.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It took forever for me to get work because I was a political comic, and now it's become good business, and…” — Lewis Black", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 17, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "They've gotta stop reporting wind chill. That's nonsense. It really is. I don't know where they came up with it, why they came up with it, but it's a lie. They come on, \"Well, it's 27 degrees today, but with the wind chill, it's minus 3.\" Well, then it's minus 3, asshole! I don't need to know what the weather was like if the conditions were perfect!", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lewis Black" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/they-ve-gotta-stop-reporting-wind-chill-that-s-nonsense-it-really-is/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f3f/lewis-black-1143_chill_they-ve-gotta-stop-reporting-wind-chill_1261579.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f3f/lewis-black-1143_chill_they-ve-gotta-stop-reporting-wind-chill_1261579.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f3f/lewis-black-1143_chill_they-ve-gotta-stop-reporting-wind-chill_1261579.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“They've gotta stop reporting wind chill. That's nonsense. 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I'm lucky because 97% of the people who come to the show know who they are dealing with, whether they are on the left or the right, we're sharing the same frustration.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lewis Black" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/going-up-to-canada-is-great-because-i-m-not-dealing-with-people/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e44/lewis-black-1143_agendas_going-up-to-canada-is-great-because-i-m_1651728.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e44/lewis-black-1143_agendas_going-up-to-canada-is-great-because-i-m_1651728.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e44/lewis-black-1143_agendas_going-up-to-canada-is-great-because-i-m_1651728.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Going up to Canada is great because I'm not dealing with people carrying their agendas into the room. I'm…” — Lewis Black", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 19, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "[The Weather Channel] is the most watched cable channel in America. I'll repeat that. It is the most watched cable channel in America. They were worried about the terrorists immobilizing us, and a portion of our countrymen watch weather. 'Kay, you don't get any more immobile than that... unless you're in a goddamn coma. That means you're saying, \"I'd go to the window, but it's too far.\" If you want to know what the weather is you go to a window and stick your hand out and if you want to know what the temperature is you drive by a bank.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lewis Black" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/the-weather-channel-is-the-most-watched-cable-channel-in-america-i-ll/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/356/lewis-black-1143_america_the-weather-channel-is-the-most-watched_2201685.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/356/lewis-black-1143_america_the-weather-channel-is-the-most-watched_2201685.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/356/lewis-black-1143_america_the-weather-channel-is-the-most-watched_2201685.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“[The Weather Channel] is the most watched cable channel in America. I'll repeat that. It is the most watched…” — Lewis Black", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 20, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "People go to Vegas, and they don't know what to do; here's what you do. You go to the casino in your hotel. On your arrival, you get $100 in quarters. Take that $100 back to your hotel room and stare at it for a long, long time. Why? Because you're never going to see them again. Then you take those quarters to the bathroom and you flush them, one by one by one. 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You go to the casino in your hotel…” — Lewis Black", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 21, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I've seen the end of the universe, and it happens to be in the United States and, oddly enough, it's in Houston, Texas. I know - I was shocked, too. Imagine my surprise when I left a comedy club one day and walked to the end of the block, and there on one corner was a Starbucks, and across the street from that Starbucks, in the exact same building as that Starbucks, there was - a Starbucks. I looked back and forth, thinking the sun was playing tricks with my eyes. 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