--- title: "13 Knows Quotes By Erma Bombeck" description: "13 Knows quotes by Erma Bombeck. Plus more from Erma Bombeck and more Knows sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b1/erma-bombeck-780_boys_with-boys-you-always-know-where-you-stan_2743167.png" --- > [With boys, you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/with-boys-you-always-know-where-you-stand-right-in-the-path-of-a-2/) [Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b1/erma-bombeck-780_boys_with-boys-you-always-know-where-you-stan_2743167.png) > [Know the difference between success and fame. Success is Mother Teresa. Fame is Madonna.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/know-the-difference-between-success-and-fame-success-is-mother-teresa/) [Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/18e/erma-bombeck-780_differences_know-the-difference-between-success-and_3077306.png) > [ \[On her father's death:\] I didn't know his leaving would hurt so much. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/on-her-father-s-death-i-didn-t-know-his-leaving-would-hurt-so-much/) [Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/221/erma-bombeck-780_death_on-her-father-s-death-i-didn-t-know-his_1914411.png) > [Any mother with half a skull knows that when Daddy's little boy becomes Mommy's little boy, the kid is so wet he's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/any-mother-with-half-a-skull-knows-that-when-daddy-s-little-boy/) [Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/505/erma-bombeck-780_boys_any-mother-with-half-a-skull-knows-that_503303.png) > [I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/i-was-trampled-to-death-by-a-man-who-believed-his-luggage-would-be/) [Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e31/erma-bombeck-780_air-travel_i-was-trampled-to-death-by-a-man-who-bel_786608.png) > [With boys you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane. It's all there. The fruit flies hovering…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/with-boys-you-always-know-where-you-stand-right-in-the-path-of-a/) [Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e5c/erma-bombeck-780_air_with-boys-you-always-know-where-you-stan_1954024.jpg) > [Motherhood isn't just a series of contractions; it's a state of mind. From the moment we know life is inside us, we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/motherhood-isn-t-just-a-series-of-contractions-it-s-a-state-of-mind/) [Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b25/erma-bombeck-780_contractions_motherhood-isn-t-just-a-series-of-contra_2897346.png) > [My type of humor is almost pure identification. A housewife reads my column and says, 'But that's happened to ME! I know…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/my-type-of-humor-is-almost-pure-identification-a-housewife-reads-my/) [Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/685/erma-bombeck-780_columns_my-type-of-humor-is-almost-pure-identifi_2025136.png) > [I don't know when pepper mills in a restaurant got to be right behind frankincense and myrrh in prominence. It used to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/i-don-t-know-when-pepper-mills-in-a-restaurant-got-to-be-right-behind/) [Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/289/erma-bombeck-780_behinds_i-don-t-know-when-pepper-mills-in-a-rest_2406220.png) > [Maybe you know why a child can reject a hot dog with mustard served on a soft bun at home, yet eat…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/maybe-you-know-why-a-child-can-reject-a-hot-dog-with-mustard-served/) [Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/28c/erma-bombeck-780_buns_maybe-you-know-why-a-child-can-reject-a_2759078.png) > [Adults are always telling young people, 'These are the best years of your life.' Are they? I don't know. Sometimes when adults…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/adults-are-always-telling-young-people-these-are-the-best-years-of/) [Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/010/erma-bombeck-780_adolescence_adults-are-always-telling-young-people-t_2434660.png) > [ I'm real ambivalent about \[working mothers\]. Those of use who have been in the women's movement for a long time know that… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/i-m-real-ambivalent-about-working-mothers-those-of-use-who-have-been/) [Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cff/erma-bombeck-780_ambivalent_i-m-real-ambivalent-about-working-mother_1082454.png) > [Mothers are not the nameless, faceless stereotypes who appear once a year on a greeting card with their virtues set to prose,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/mothers-are-not-the-nameless-faceless-stereotypes-who-appear-once-a/) [Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/788/erma-bombeck-780_ambivalence_mothers-are-not-the-nameless-faceless-st_1412821.png) ## Other authors on Knows ## More by Erma Bombeck > [Cats invented self-esteem.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/cats-invented-self-esteem/) [Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/) > [To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/to-my-way-of-thinking-the-american-family-started-to-decline-when/) [Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/) > [The woman who says, 'My kids are all speaking to one another and they love us' is a psychopathic liar.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/the-woman-who-says-my-kids-are-all-speaking-to-one-another-and-they/) [Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/) > [The term 'working mother' is redundant.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/the-term-working-mother-is-redundant/) [Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/) > [To say, "Well, I write when I really get into it" is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/to-say-well-i-write-when-i-really-get-into-it-is-a-bunch-of-bull-put/) [Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/) > [I used everything you gave me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/i-used-everything-you-gave-me/) [Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/) > [Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/just-think-of-all-those-women-on-the-titanic-who-said-no-thank-you-to/) [Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/) > [The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/the-mole-rat-is-the-only-rodent-born-without-a-fur-coat-with-a-good/) [Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/) > [God created man, but I could do better.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/god-created-man-but-i-could-do-better/) [Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/) > [If the nest is truly empty, who owns all this junk?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/if-the-nest-is-truly-empty-who-owns-all-this-junk/) [Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/) > [Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/housework-if-it-is-done-properly-can-cause-brain-damage/) [Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/) > [Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/making-coffee-has-become-the-great-compromise-of-the-decade-it-s-the/) [Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/) > [I have a friend who lives by a three-word philosophy: Seize the Moment. Just possibly, she may be the wisest woman on this planet.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/i-have-a-friend-who-lives-by-a-three-word-philosophy-seize-the-moment/) [Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/) > [When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/when-i-stand-before-god-at-the-end-of-my-life-i-would-hope-that-i/) [Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/) > [Before we sent kids to computer camps and told them they were having a good time, there was imagination among the human species.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/before-we-sent-kids-to-computer-camps-and-told-them-they-were-having/) [Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/knows/erma-bombeck/#itemlist", "name": "13 Knows Quotes By Erma Bombeck", "numberOfItems": 13, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "With boys, you always know where you stand. 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From the moment we know life is inside us, we feel a responsibility to protect and defend that human being.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Erma Bombeck" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/motherhood-isn-t-just-a-series-of-contractions-it-s-a-state-of-mind/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b25/erma-bombeck-780_contractions_motherhood-isn-t-just-a-series-of-contra_2897346.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b25/erma-bombeck-780_contractions_motherhood-isn-t-just-a-series-of-contra_2897346.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b25/erma-bombeck-780_contractions_motherhood-isn-t-just-a-series-of-contra_2897346.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Motherhood isn't just a series of contractions; it's a state of mind. 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I know just what she's talking about!", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Erma Bombeck" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/my-type-of-humor-is-almost-pure-identification-a-housewife-reads-my/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/685/erma-bombeck-780_columns_my-type-of-humor-is-almost-pure-identifi_2025136.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/685/erma-bombeck-780_columns_my-type-of-humor-is-almost-pure-identifi_2025136.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/685/erma-bombeck-780_columns_my-type-of-humor-is-almost-pure-identifi_2025136.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“My type of humor is almost pure identification. A housewife reads my column and says, 'But that's happened…” — Erma Bombeck", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I don't know when pepper mills in a restaurant got to be right behind frankincense and myrrh in prominence. It used to be in a little jar that sat next to the salt on the table and everyone passed it around, sneezed, and it was no big deal.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Erma Bombeck" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/i-don-t-know-when-pepper-mills-in-a-restaurant-got-to-be-right-behind/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/289/erma-bombeck-780_behinds_i-don-t-know-when-pepper-mills-in-a-rest_2406220.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/289/erma-bombeck-780_behinds_i-don-t-know-when-pepper-mills-in-a-rest_2406220.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/289/erma-bombeck-780_behinds_i-don-t-know-when-pepper-mills-in-a-rest_2406220.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I don't know when pepper mills in a restaurant got to be right behind frankincense and myrrh in prominence…” — Erma Bombeck", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Maybe you know why a child can reject a hot dog with mustard served on a soft bun at home, yet eat six of them two hours later at fifty cents each.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Erma Bombeck" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/maybe-you-know-why-a-child-can-reject-a-hot-dog-with-mustard-served/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/28c/erma-bombeck-780_buns_maybe-you-know-why-a-child-can-reject-a_2759078.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/28c/erma-bombeck-780_buns_maybe-you-know-why-a-child-can-reject-a_2759078.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/28c/erma-bombeck-780_buns_maybe-you-know-why-a-child-can-reject-a_2759078.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Maybe you know why a child can reject a hot dog with mustard served on a soft bun at home, yet eat six of…” — Erma Bombeck", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Adults are always telling young people, 'These are the best years of your life.' Are they? I don't know. Sometimes when adults say this to children I look into their faces. They look like someone on the top seat of the Ferris wheel who has had too much cotton candy and barbecue. They'd like to get off and be sick but everyone keeps telling them what a good time they're having.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Erma Bombeck" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/adults-are-always-telling-young-people-these-are-the-best-years-of/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/010/erma-bombeck-780_adolescence_adults-are-always-telling-young-people-t_2434660.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/010/erma-bombeck-780_adolescence_adults-are-always-telling-young-people-t_2434660.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/010/erma-bombeck-780_adolescence_adults-are-always-telling-young-people-t_2434660.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Adults are always telling young people, 'These are the best years of your life.' Are they? I don't know…” — Erma Bombeck", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I'm real ambivalent about [working mothers]. Those of use who have been in the women's movement for a long time know that we've talked a good game of \"go out and fulfill your dreams\" and \"be everything you were meant to be.\" But by the same token, we want daughters-in-law who are going to stay home and raise our grandchildren.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Erma Bombeck" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/i-m-real-ambivalent-about-working-mothers-those-of-use-who-have-been/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cff/erma-bombeck-780_ambivalent_i-m-real-ambivalent-about-working-mother_1082454.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cff/erma-bombeck-780_ambivalent_i-m-real-ambivalent-about-working-mother_1082454.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cff/erma-bombeck-780_ambivalent_i-m-real-ambivalent-about-working-mother_1082454.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I'm real ambivalent about [working mothers]. Those of use who have been in the women's movement for a long…” — Erma Bombeck", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 13, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Mothers are not the nameless, faceless stereotypes who appear once a year on a greeting card with their virtues set to prose, but women who have been dealt a hand for life and play each card one at a time the best way they know how. No mother is all good or all bad, all laughing or all serious, all loving or all angry. Ambivalence rushes through their veins.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Erma Bombeck" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/mothers-are-not-the-nameless-faceless-stereotypes-who-appear-once-a/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/788/erma-bombeck-780_ambivalence_mothers-are-not-the-nameless-faceless-st_1412821.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/788/erma-bombeck-780_ambivalence_mothers-are-not-the-nameless-faceless-st_1412821.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/788/erma-bombeck-780_ambivalence_mothers-are-not-the-nameless-faceless-st_1412821.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Mothers are not the nameless, faceless stereotypes who appear once a year on a greeting card with their…” — Erma Bombeck", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/knows/erma-bombeck/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/knows/erma-bombeck/", "name": "Knows Quotes by Erma Bombeck", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/knows/erma-bombeck/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b1/erma-bombeck-780_boys_with-boys-you-always-know-where-you-stan_2743167.png" }, "description": "13 Knows quotes by Erma Bombeck. 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