--- title: "10 Knows Quotes By Doug Benson" description: "10 Knows quotes by Doug Benson. Plus more from Doug Benson and more Knows sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a51/doug-benson-8961_courtroom_it-s-fun-playing-the-judge-because-i-gre_1390603.png" --- > [It's fun playing the judge, because I grew up on all the courtroom stuff in movies and TV. So, you know all…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-benson/it-s-fun-playing-the-judge-because-i-grew-up-on-all-the-courtroom/) [Doug Benson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-benson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a51/doug-benson-8961_courtroom_it-s-fun-playing-the-judge-because-i-gre_1390603.png) > [P. Diddy's gonna be exhausted, you know, running with the Olympic torch in one hand and the torch he'll always carry for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-benson/p-diddy-s-gonna-be-exhausted-you-know-running-with-the-olympic-torch/) [Doug Benson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-benson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4b7/doug-benson-8961_exhausted_p-diddy-s-gonna-be-exhausted-you-know-ru_1916665.png) > [I know there's a lot of nasty humor directed at celebrities, but my feeling is, in most cases, they deserve it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-benson/i-know-there-s-a-lot-of-nasty-humor-directed-at-celebrities-but-my/) [Doug Benson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-benson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0cf/doug-benson-8961_cases_i-know-there-s-a-lot-of-nasty-humor-dire_176079.png) > [I made some jokes about weed, got some laughs, made some more jokes, got some more laughs; next thing you know, I'm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-benson/i-made-some-jokes-about-weed-got-some-laughs-made-some-more-jokes-got/) [Doug Benson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-benson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9c3/doug-benson-8961_comedy_i-made-some-jokes-about-weed-got-some-la_2399669.jpg) > [You know you drank too much the night before when you wake up with crop circles in your pubes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-benson/you-know-you-drank-too-much-the-night-before-when-you-wake-up-with/) [Doug Benson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-benson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/da8/doug-benson-8961_circles_you-know-you-drank-too-much-the-night-be_2267141.png) > [I was immediately into all the great movie comedians - Woody Allen, Mel Brooks, Richard Pryor, Gene Wilder. Everything those guys had…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-benson/i-was-immediately-into-all-the-great-movie-comedians-woody-allen-mel/) [Doug Benson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-benson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ea1/doug-benson-8961_brooks_i-was-immediately-into-all-the-great-mov_2322873.png) > [I enjoy Modern Family very much. Good TV program. I don't know why. I just find that so many of the jokes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-benson/i-enjoy-modern-family-very-much-good-tv-program-i-don-t-know-why-i/) [Doug Benson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-benson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/079/doug-benson-8961_actors_i-enjoy-modern-family-very-much-good-tv_1247891.png) > [People come to me with ideas for shows, and I certainly am thinking of stuff all the time. And it's always like,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-benson/people-come-to-me-with-ideas-for-shows-and-i-certainly-am-thinking-of/) [Doug Benson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-benson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/80d/doug-benson-8961_car_people-come-to-me-with-ideas-for-shows-a_525950.jpg) > [I saw a dog in a cage. And that cage had a sign on it that said, 'I bite.' And I was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-benson/i-saw-a-dog-in-a-cage-and-that-cage-had-a-sign-on-it-that-said-i-bite/) [Doug Benson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-benson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db5/doug-benson-8961_animal_i-saw-a-dog-in-a-cage-and-that-cage-had_2191261.png) > [I hate how all the hip hop bands of today will put crazy sound effects into their songs. You know what I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-benson/i-hate-how-all-the-hip-hop-bands-of-today-will-put-crazy-sound/) [Doug Benson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-benson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2e5/doug-benson-8961_ambulance_i-hate-how-all-the-hip-hop-bands-of-toda_788042.png) ## Other authors on Knows ## More by Doug Benson > [I grew up in San Diego, so it wasn't hard to move to L.A. to get into show business, but I did the standard…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-benson/i-grew-up-in-san-diego-so-it-wasn-t-hard-to-move-to-l-a-to-get-into/) [Doug Benson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-benson/) > [It's easier to do comedy with an audience, because their reactions tell you whether or not what your saying qualifies as comedy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-benson/it-s-easier-to-do-comedy-with-an-audience-because-their-reactions/) [Doug Benson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-benson/) > [The whole pot-to-alcohol thing is a huge issue with me, because I've grown to hate drunks so much, and like potheads.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-benson/the-whole-pot-to-alcohol-thing-is-a-huge-issue-with-me-because-i-ve/) [Doug Benson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-benson/) > [I know there's a lot of nasty humor directed at celebrities, but my feeling is, in most cases, they deserve it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-benson/i-know-there-s-a-lot-of-nasty-humor-directed-at-celebrities-but-my/) [Doug Benson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-benson/) > [Big deal... the only cats that don't have three legs are the ones with two through zero legs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-benson/big-deal-the-only-cats-that-don-t-have-three-legs-are-the-ones-with/) [Doug Benson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-benson/) > [Has anybody here ever been driving along in their car, smoking a cigarette, and you flick it out the window, and you drive for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-benson/has-anybody-here-ever-been-driving-along-in-their-car-smoking-a/) [Doug Benson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-benson/) > [A talking dog is not the answer. That's not a way to convince people not to smoke pot. If animals started talking to me,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-benson/a-talking-dog-is-not-the-answer-that-s-not-a-way-to-convince-people/) [Doug Benson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-benson/) > [I think there is much more storytelling in stand-up now. Less emphasis on the joke. Jokes are still important, but it feels like a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-benson/i-think-there-is-much-more-storytelling-in-stand-up-now-less-emphasis/) [Doug Benson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-benson/) > [I just broke up with my girlfriend because I caught her lying. Under another man.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-benson/i-just-broke-up-with-my-girlfriend-because-i-caught-her-lying-under/) [Doug Benson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-benson/) > [Stand-up is a very scary, very solitary profession, but you have to experience it to figure out if it's right for you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-benson/stand-up-is-a-very-scary-very-solitary-profession-but-you-have-to/) [Doug Benson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-benson/) > [People come to me with ideas for shows, and I certainly am thinking of stuff all the time. And it's always like, you know,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-benson/people-come-to-me-with-ideas-for-shows-and-i-certainly-am-thinking-of/) [Doug Benson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-benson/) > [Even if you are 18, my advice to you is: plan for your future.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-benson/even-if-you-are-18-my-advice-to-you-is-plan-for-your-future/) [Doug Benson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-benson/) > [There was always, along the way in my career, as more and more I made marijuana a part of my act and my life,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-benson/there-was-always-along-the-way-in-my-career-as-more-and-more-i-made/) [Doug Benson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-benson/) > [My parents took me to that I think is just one of those near-perfect comedies is Young Frankenstein. Gene Wilder and Mel Brooks, they're…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-benson/my-parents-took-me-to-that-i-think-is-just-one-of-those-near-perfect/) [Doug Benson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-benson/) > [Rappers should be forced to rhyme in their acceptance speeches.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-benson/rappers-should-be-forced-to-rhyme-in-their-acceptance-speeches/) [Doug Benson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-benson/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/knows/doug-benson/#itemlist", "name": "10 Knows Quotes By Doug Benson", "numberOfItems": 10, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It's fun playing the judge, because I grew up on all the courtroom stuff in movies and TV. 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Diddy's gonna be exhausted, you know, running with the Olympic torch in one hand and the torch he'll always carry for J-Lo in the other.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Doug Benson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-benson/p-diddy-s-gonna-be-exhausted-you-know-running-with-the-olympic-torch/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4b7/doug-benson-8961_exhausted_p-diddy-s-gonna-be-exhausted-you-know-ru_1916665.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4b7/doug-benson-8961_exhausted_p-diddy-s-gonna-be-exhausted-you-know-ru_1916665.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4b7/doug-benson-8961_exhausted_p-diddy-s-gonna-be-exhausted-you-know-ru_1916665.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“P. 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Everything those guys had anything to do with, from I don't know how young. Super young.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Doug Benson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-benson/i-was-immediately-into-all-the-great-movie-comedians-woody-allen-mel/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ea1/doug-benson-8961_brooks_i-was-immediately-into-all-the-great-mov_2322873.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ea1/doug-benson-8961_brooks_i-was-immediately-into-all-the-great-mov_2322873.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ea1/doug-benson-8961_brooks_i-was-immediately-into-all-the-great-mov_2322873.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I was immediately into all the great movie comedians - Woody Allen, Mel Brooks, Richard Pryor, Gene Wilder…” — Doug Benson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I enjoy Modern Family very much. Good TV program. I don't know why. I just find that so many of the jokes land. So many of the actors are so great. Phil Dunphy is one of my favorite characters ever.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Doug Benson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-benson/i-enjoy-modern-family-very-much-good-tv-program-i-don-t-know-why-i/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/079/doug-benson-8961_actors_i-enjoy-modern-family-very-much-good-tv_1247891.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/079/doug-benson-8961_actors_i-enjoy-modern-family-very-much-good-tv_1247891.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/079/doug-benson-8961_actors_i-enjoy-modern-family-very-much-good-tv_1247891.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I enjoy Modern Family very much. Good TV program. I don't know why. I just find that so many of the jokes…” — Doug Benson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "People come to me with ideas for shows, and I certainly am thinking of stuff all the time. And it's always like, you know, \"Get high and drive a car!\" Or \"Get high and do this or that.\" It's always things like, \"Well, that's a terrible idea to get high and do that.\" So, when they came to me with this, I was like, \"Well, you're just sitting there and discussing cases.\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Doug Benson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-benson/people-come-to-me-with-ideas-for-shows-and-i-certainly-am-thinking-of/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/80d/doug-benson-8961_car_people-come-to-me-with-ideas-for-shows-a_525950.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/80d/doug-benson-8961_car_people-come-to-me-with-ideas-for-shows-a_525950.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/80d/doug-benson-8961_car_people-come-to-me-with-ideas-for-shows-a_525950.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“People come to me with ideas for shows, and I certainly am thinking of stuff all the time. And it's always…” — Doug Benson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I saw a dog in a cage. And that cage had a sign on it that said, 'I bite.' And I was like, 'That is good to know doggy, but that's not the most important thing about you. You should make a sign that says, 'I make signs.''", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Doug Benson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-benson/i-saw-a-dog-in-a-cage-and-that-cage-had-a-sign-on-it-that-said-i-bite/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db5/doug-benson-8961_animal_i-saw-a-dog-in-a-cage-and-that-cage-had_2191261.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db5/doug-benson-8961_animal_i-saw-a-dog-in-a-cage-and-that-cage-had_2191261.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db5/doug-benson-8961_animal_i-saw-a-dog-in-a-cage-and-that-cage-had_2191261.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I saw a dog in a cage. And that cage had a sign on it that said, 'I bite.' And I was like, 'That is good to…” — Doug Benson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I hate how all the hip hop bands of today will put crazy sound effects into their songs. You know what I mean, like a police or ambulance siren in a tune? Because I could own the CD, I could listen to it 50 gamillion times in my car - I still fall for it every time.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Doug Benson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-benson/i-hate-how-all-the-hip-hop-bands-of-today-will-put-crazy-sound/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2e5/doug-benson-8961_ambulance_i-hate-how-all-the-hip-hop-bands-of-toda_788042.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2e5/doug-benson-8961_ambulance_i-hate-how-all-the-hip-hop-bands-of-toda_788042.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2e5/doug-benson-8961_ambulance_i-hate-how-all-the-hip-hop-bands-of-toda_788042.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I hate how all the hip hop bands of today will put crazy sound effects into their songs. You know what I…” — Doug Benson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/knows/doug-benson/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/knows/doug-benson/", "name": "Knows Quotes by Doug Benson", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/knows/doug-benson/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a51/doug-benson-8961_courtroom_it-s-fun-playing-the-judge-because-i-gre_1390603.png" }, "description": "10 Knows quotes by Doug Benson. 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