---
title: "6 Kitchen Quotes By Ilona Andrews"
description: "6 Kitchen quotes by Ilona Andrews. Plus more from Ilona Andrews and more Kitchen sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cac/ilona-andrews-150_fall_you-expect-me-to-fall-on-my-back-with-my_799821.jpg"
---

> [...you expect me to fall on my back with my legs spread." "Not necessarily. ... You can fall on your hands and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/you-expect-me-to-fall-on-my-back-with-my-legs-spread-not-necessarily/)

[Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cac/ilona-andrews-150_fall_you-expect-me-to-fall-on-my-back-with-my_799821.jpg)

> [Kid 1: \*examining my gorgeous strawberry and blueberry pies\*: Wow, Mom, your pies don’t look awful this time. Me (Ilona): ... ~A…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/kid-1-examining-my-gorgeous-strawberry-and-blueberry-pies-wow-mom/)

[Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/808/ilona-andrews-150_awful_kid-1-examining-my-gorgeous-strawberry-a_965010.png)

> [He put the book down. “As you wish.” He rose and walked past me. I lowered my sword, expecting him to pass,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/he-put-the-book-down-as-you-wish-he-rose-and-walked-past-me-i-lowered/)

[Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c2/ilona-andrews-150_bent_he-put-the-book-down-as-you-wish-he-rose_1223696.jpg)

> [I split the omelet between the plates and stopped when Curran's arms closed about me. He pulled me against him, pressing my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/i-split-the-omelet-between-the-plates-and-stopped-when-curran-s-arms/)

[Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/076/ilona-andrews-150_animal_i-split-the-omelet-between-the-plates-an_2281879.png)

> [“Why the hell would anyone be eating at the Grease Trap? I’ve seen flies die from buzzing by that place.” Andrea crossed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/why-the-hell-would-anyone-be-eating-at-the-grease-trap-i-ve-seen/)

[Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fec/ilona-andrews-150_fine-dining_why-the-hell-would-anyone-be-eating-at-t_2340063.png)

> […Something isn’t right with you and this property. Strange things happen around it. I don’t know what is going on, but I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/something-isn-t-right-with-you-and-this-property-strange-things/)

[Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f14/ilona-andrews-150_aliens_something-isn-t-right-with-you-and-this_2624688.png)

## Other authors on Kitchen

## More by Ilona Andrews

> [“Did he kill Grandmother?” I whispered. “Don’t be ridiculous,” Erra’s voice said in my ear. “She is already dead. Besides, your grandmother was the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/did-he-kill-grandmother-i-whispered-don-t-be-ridiculous-erra-s-voice/)

[Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/)

> [The only way to make sure that the Hand didn't get to you would have been to kill your brother. I could've done it,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/the-only-way-to-make-sure-that-the-hand-didn-t-get-to-you-would-have/)

[Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/)

> [“He hit her with his best smile. Her eyes widened. She took a deep breath. 'Oh no, not that seductive face. I'm overcome with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/he-hit-her-with-his-best-smile-her-eyes-widened-she-took-a-deep/)

[Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/)

> [“Because he doesn’t want me talking to my grandmother.” Barabas looked at Curran. Curran shrugged. “It’s a family thing. Sometimes your father puts your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/because-he-doesn-t-want-me-talking-to-my-grandmother-barabas-looked/)

[Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/)

> [I had forgotten that talking to you is like trying to pet a cactus." Saiman said dryly. "Thank you for reminding me." "Always happy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/i-had-forgotten-that-talking-to-you-is-like-trying-to-pet-a-cactus/)

[Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/)

> [« He squeezed his hands into fists. I picked up a grapefruit-sized rock and handed it to him. It went flying. Home run, Beast…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/he-squeezed-his-hands-into-fists-i-picked-up-a-grapefruit-sized-rock/)

[Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/)

> [“He came for me. I couldn’t believe it. He came for me . Into a flying palace full of thousands of armed rakshasas in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/he-came-for-me-i-couldn-t-believe-it-he-came-for-me-into-a-flying/)

[Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/)

> [Saiman picked up a coffee mug, stared at it, and hurled it against the wall. It shattered into a dozen pieces. We looked at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/saiman-picked-up-a-coffee-mug-stared-at-it-and-hurled-it-against-the/)

[Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/)

> [“Slowly the reality of the situation sank in. He got his ass kicked, learned nothing, and got saved by a dumb dog and an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/slowly-the-reality-of-the-situation-sank-in-he-got-his-ass-kicked/)

[Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/)

> [“I paused with the pen in my hand. "He burst into flames?" "He became engulfed in fire." "Was his buddy made out of orange…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/i-paused-with-the-pen-in-my-hand-he-burst-into-flames-he-became/)

[Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/)

> [“He hung his head. “Am I punished?” “Yes. I’m too mad to punish you right now. We’ll talk about it when we get home.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/he-hung-his-head-am-i-punished-yes-i-m-too-mad-to-punish-you-right/)

[Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/)

> [The pervert." "He prefers to think of himself as sexual deviant." "Semantics.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/the-pervert-he-prefers-to-think-of-himself-as-sexual-deviant-semantics/)

[Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/)

> [“I want you to understand me. This isn’t vengeance. This is punishment.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/i-want-you-to-understand-me-this-isn-t-vengeance-this-is-punishment/)

[Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/)

> [He snarled. I showed him my teeth. A rolled-up newspaper landed on my head and then on Jim’s. “None of that in my house!”…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/he-snarled-i-showed-him-my-teeth-a-rolled-up-newspaper-landed-on-my/)

[Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/)

> [The door swung open and Kate walked in. Her jeans and T-shirt were splattered with blood and she was carrying a severed vampire head.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/the-door-swung-open-and-kate-walked-in-her-jeans-and-t-shirt-were/)

[Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "ItemList",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/kitchen/ilona-andrews/#itemlist",
            "name": "6 Kitchen Quotes By Ilona Andrews",
            "numberOfItems": 6,
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "...you expect me to fall on my back with my legs spread.\" \"Not necessarily. ... You can fall on your hands and knees if you prefer. Or against the wall. Or on the kitchen counter. I suppose I might let you be on top, if you make it worth my while.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Ilona Andrews"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/you-expect-me-to-fall-on-my-back-with-my-legs-spread-not-necessarily/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cac/ilona-andrews-150_fall_you-expect-me-to-fall-on-my-back-with-my_799821.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cac/ilona-andrews-150_fall_you-expect-me-to-fall-on-my-back-with-my_799821.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cac/ilona-andrews-150_fall_you-expect-me-to-fall-on-my-back-with-my_799821.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“...you expect me to fall on my back with my legs spread.\" \"Not necessarily. ... You can fall on your hands…” — Ilona Andrews",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Kid 1: *examining my gorgeous strawberry and blueberry pies*: Wow, Mom, your pies don’t look awful this time. Me (Ilona): ... ~A little later~ Kid 2: *wandering into the kitchen* Kid 1: Hey, you’ve got to see these pies. *opening the stove* Kid 2: Wow. They are not ugly this time. Kid 1: I know, right?",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Ilona Andrews"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/kid-1-examining-my-gorgeous-strawberry-and-blueberry-pies-wow-mom/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/808/ilona-andrews-150_awful_kid-1-examining-my-gorgeous-strawberry-a_965010.png",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/808/ilona-andrews-150_awful_kid-1-examining-my-gorgeous-strawberry-a_965010.png",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/808/ilona-andrews-150_awful_kid-1-examining-my-gorgeous-strawberry-a_965010.png",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“Kid 1: *examining my gorgeous strawberry and blueberry pies*: Wow, Mom, your pies don’t look awful this…” — Ilona Andrews",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "He put the book down. “As you wish.” He rose and walked past me. I lowered my sword, expecting him to pass, but suddenly he stepped in dangerously close. “Welcome home. I’m glad you made it. There is coffee in the kitchen for you.” My mouth gaped open. He inhaled my scent, bent close, about to kiss me… I just stood there like an idiot. Curran smirked and whispered in my ear instead. “Psych.” And just like that, he was out the door and gone. Oh boy.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Ilona Andrews"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/he-put-the-book-down-as-you-wish-he-rose-and-walked-past-me-i-lowered/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c2/ilona-andrews-150_bent_he-put-the-book-down-as-you-wish-he-rose_1223696.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c2/ilona-andrews-150_bent_he-put-the-book-down-as-you-wish-he-rose_1223696.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c2/ilona-andrews-150_bent_he-put-the-book-down-as-you-wish-he-rose_1223696.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“He put the book down. “As you wish.” He rose and walked past me. I lowered my sword, expecting him to pass…” — Ilona Andrews",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I split the omelet between the plates and stopped when Curran's arms closed about me. He pulled me against him, pressing my back against his chest. I heard him inhale my scent. His lips grazed my temple. Here we were, alone, in my kitchen, holding each other while breakfast cooled on the table. This was some sort of alternate universe, with a different Kate, who wasn't hunted like a wild animal and who could have these sorts of things. \"What's up?\" I asked softly. \"Just making sure you know you're caught.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Ilona Andrews"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/i-split-the-omelet-between-the-plates-and-stopped-when-curran-s-arms/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/076/ilona-andrews-150_animal_i-split-the-omelet-between-the-plates-an_2281879.png",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/076/ilona-andrews-150_animal_i-split-the-omelet-between-the-plates-an_2281879.png",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/076/ilona-andrews-150_animal_i-split-the-omelet-between-the-plates-an_2281879.png",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“I split the omelet between the plates and stopped when Curran's arms closed about me. He pulled me against…” — Ilona Andrews",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 5,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Why the hell would anyone be eating at the Grease Trap? I’ve seen flies die from buzzing by that place.” Andrea crossed her arms. “Oh, I don’t know, probably because your career just ended and you are depressed and don’t feel like breathing, let alone going out, but your body still needs food and that’s the closest place to your apartment and they don’t mind if you bring a giant dog with you.” “What, you couldn’t find a Dumpster that was closer?” Andrea glared at me. “What are you implying?” “The Dumpster would have better food in it.” “Well, excuse me, Miss Fine Dining.”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Ilona Andrews"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/why-the-hell-would-anyone-be-eating-at-the-grease-trap-i-ve-seen/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fec/ilona-andrews-150_fine-dining_why-the-hell-would-anyone-be-eating-at-t_2340063.png",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fec/ilona-andrews-150_fine-dining_why-the-hell-would-anyone-be-eating-at-t_2340063.png",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fec/ilona-andrews-150_fine-dining_why-the-hell-would-anyone-be-eating-at-t_2340063.png",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“Why the hell would anyone be eating at the Grease Trap? I’ve seen flies die from buzzing by that place.”…” — Ilona Andrews",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 6,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "…Something isn’t right with you and this property. Strange things happen around it. I don’t know what is going on, but I will find out. You could make it easier on yourself by coming clean.” “Sure. This is a magic bed-and-breakfast and the two guys in my kitchen are aliens from outerspace.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Ilona Andrews"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/something-isn-t-right-with-you-and-this-property-strange-things/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f14/ilona-andrews-150_aliens_something-isn-t-right-with-you-and-this_2624688.png",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f14/ilona-andrews-150_aliens_something-isn-t-right-with-you-and-this_2624688.png",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f14/ilona-andrews-150_aliens_something-isn-t-right-with-you-and-this_2624688.png",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“…Something isn’t right with you and this property. Strange things happen around it. I don’t know what is…” — Ilona Andrews",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                }
            ]
        },
        {
            "@type": "CollectionPage",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/kitchen/ilona-andrews/#webpage",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/kitchen/ilona-andrews/",
            "name": "Kitchen Quotes by Ilona Andrews",
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "mainEntity": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/kitchen/ilona-andrews/#itemlist"
            },
            "primaryImageOfPage": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cac/ilona-andrews-150_fall_you-expect-me-to-fall-on-my-back-with-my_799821.jpg"
            },
            "description": "6 Kitchen quotes by Ilona Andrews. Plus more from Ilona Andrews and more Kitchen sayings from other authors.",
            "breadcrumb": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/kitchen/ilona-andrews/#breadcrumb"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/kitchen/ilona-andrews/#breadcrumb",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Topics",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/categories/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "Kitchen",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/kitchen/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 5,
                    "name": "Ilona Andrews",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/kitchen/ilona-andrews/"
                }
            ]
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
