--- title: "13 Kind Quotes By Steven C. Hayes" description: "13 Kind quotes by Steven C. Hayes. Plus more from Steven C. Hayes and more Kind sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d56/steven-c-hayes-19351_children_but-this-cheap-thrill-version-this-sort_1377681.png" --- > [But this cheap-thrill version, this sort of ease definition, the feel-good definition of happiness is an empty promise. Unless we get wiser…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/but-this-cheap-thrill-version-this-sort-of-ease-definition-the-feel/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d56/steven-c-hayes-19351_children_but-this-cheap-thrill-version-this-sort_1377681.png) > [I kind of look at what's on the T-shirts and I see another solution, which also worries me. I see "Just do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/i-kind-of-look-at-what-s-on-the-t-shirts-and-i-see-another-solution/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eb0/steven-c-hayes-19351_blow_i-kind-of-look-at-what-s-on-the-t-shirts_1080047.jpg) > [Holding anxiety as your own enemy, and that it has to go down, diminish it, go away and not happen here is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/holding-anxiety-as-your-own-enemy-and-that-it-has-to-go-down-diminish/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/645/steven-c-hayes-19351_anxiety_holding-anxiety-as-your-own-enemy-and-th_2367174.jpg) > [Could we take anxiety to be something that may be of importance, may even be meaningful? And it says something about your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/could-we-take-anxiety-to-be-something-that-may-be-of-importance-may/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/331/steven-c-hayes-19351_anxiety_could-we-take-anxiety-to-be-something-th_2195859.png) > [Go inside the sweetness of life, catch the places where you genuinely were moved by or connected with life, and you'll find…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/go-inside-the-sweetness-of-life-catch-the-places-where-you-genuinely/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/505/steven-c-hayes-19351_care_go-inside-the-sweetness-of-life-catch-th_1997063.png) > [There is a middle path between indulgence and suppression, but the culture has overwhelmed that in the cacophony that has been created…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/there-is-a-middle-path-between-indulgence-and-suppression-but-the/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/afc/steven-c-hayes-19351_avoidance_there-is-a-middle-path-between-indulgenc_3209776.jpg) > [It's pretty clear in how things are moving in empirically supported treatments that we're going to be speaking to the culture in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/it-s-pretty-clear-in-how-things-are-moving-in-empirically-supported/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/30b/steven-c-hayes-19351_culture_it-s-pretty-clear-in-how-things-are-movi_1968999.jpg) > [If a therapist is feeling insecure in therapy, a lot of therapists will try to sort of push that aside to try…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/if-a-therapist-is-feeling-insecure-in-therapy-a-lot-of-therapists/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e75/steven-c-hayes-19351_feeling-insecure_if-a-therapist-is-feeling-insecure-in-th_312118.png) > [One dangerous definition of happiness is to think of happiness as kind of a warm, joyful feeling in your heart that you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/one-dangerous-definition-of-happiness-is-to-think-of-happiness-as/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d1e/steven-c-hayes-19351_accepting_one-dangerous-definition-of-happiness-is_2070562.jpg) > [Most people are hurt deeply by betrayals in relationships. It might be better to really get up against and sort of contact…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/most-people-are-hurt-deeply-by-betrayals-in-relationships-it-might-be/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c78/steven-c-hayes-19351_betrayal_most-people-are-hurt-deeply-by-betrayals_1450576.png) > [In Scandinavia probably the most worker-supportive part of the planet, they have the highest rate of chronic pain and worker-related disability. So…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/in-scandinavia-probably-the-most-worker-supportive-part-of-the-planet/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/38f/steven-c-hayes-19351_chronic-pain_in-scandinavia-probably-the-most-worker_2524172.png) > [Processes of avoiding the world within in order to try to regulate your behavior, or becoming entangled in your thoughts interfering with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/processes-of-avoiding-the-world-within-in-order-to-try-to-regulate/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5c0/steven-c-hayes-19351_ability_processes-of-avoiding-the-world-within-i_2987813.png) > [I think the commercial culture, and also science and technology after all, which gives us greater ease but also makes it harder…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/i-think-the-commercial-culture-and-also-science-and-technology-after/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a40/steven-c-hayes-19351_culture_i-think-the-commercial-culture-and-also_3138724.png) ## Other authors on Kind ## More by Steven C. Hayes > [“If you were on a bus trying to go east in a maze of dirt roads in a large valley, you might not be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/if-you-were-on-a-bus-trying-to-go-east-in-a-maze-of-dirt-roads-in-a/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) > [If a therapist is feeling insecure in therapy, a lot of therapists will try to sort of push that aside to try to do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/if-a-therapist-is-feeling-insecure-in-therapy-a-lot-of-therapists/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) > [ACT psychology is a psychology of the normal. A lot of the psychologies that are out there are built on the psychology of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/act-psychology-is-a-psychology-of-the-normal-a-lot-of-the/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) > [If you aren't willing to have it, you will.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/if-you-aren-t-willing-to-have-it-you-will/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) > [Your history's not going to go away; it isn't the same thing as dirt on the floor or paint peeling off the walls; it's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/your-history-s-not-going-to-go-away-it-isn-t-the-same-thing-as-dirt/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) > [I want good science, and I want it to be realistically marketed. I wouldn't like only two countries on the planet that allow pharmaceutical…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/i-want-good-science-and-i-want-it-to-be-realistically-marketed-i/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) > [The government ought to help out, because the average citizen can't go out and be doing reviews of the scientific literature. And focus on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/the-government-ought-to-help-out-because-the-average-citizen-can-t-go/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) > [The mental cognitive processes that we're targeting are ones that narrow human beings' repertoire and make it harder for them to learn to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/the-mental-cognitive-processes-that-we-re-targeting-are-ones-that/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) > [What keeps me up at night in a negative way is, if we don't solve the problems of the human heart and of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/what-keeps-me-up-at-night-in-a-negative-way-is-if-we-don-t-solve-the/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) > [There are times when you felt especially important to another person, or cared about or loved or accepted. Well, loving relationships aren't something you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/there-are-times-when-you-felt-especially-important-to-another-person/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) > [I kind of look at what's on the T-shirts and I see another solution, which also worries me. I see "Just do it." "No…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/i-kind-of-look-at-what-s-on-the-t-shirts-and-i-see-another-solution/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) > [The definition of happiness being very emotion-oriented - the problem is that there's too many quick and dirty ways to chase that in ways…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/the-definition-of-happiness-being-very-emotion-oriented-the-problem/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) > [But this cheap-thrill version, this sort of ease definition, the feel-good definition of happiness is an empty promise. Unless we get wiser as to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/but-this-cheap-thrill-version-this-sort-of-ease-definition-the-feel/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) > [Most people are hurt deeply by betrayals in relationships. It might be better to really get up against and sort of contact that caring,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/most-people-are-hurt-deeply-by-betrayals-in-relationships-it-might-be/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) > [Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/get-out-of-your-mind-and-into-your-life/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/kind/steven-c-hayes/#itemlist", "name": "13 Kind Quotes By Steven C. 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Hayes" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/go-inside-the-sweetness-of-life-catch-the-places-where-you-genuinely/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/505/steven-c-hayes-19351_care_go-inside-the-sweetness-of-life-catch-th_1997063.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/505/steven-c-hayes-19351_care_go-inside-the-sweetness-of-life-catch-th_1997063.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/505/steven-c-hayes-19351_care_go-inside-the-sweetness-of-life-catch-th_1997063.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Go inside the sweetness of life, catch the places where you genuinely were moved by or connected with life…” — Steven C. Hayes", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 6, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "There is a middle path between indulgence and suppression, but the culture has overwhelmed that in the cacophony that has been created in the modern world and the commercial encouragement of avoidance and indulgence on the one hand, or suppression and \"just do it,\" treating yourself as an object on the other. We've got to find a way that's more compassionate, softer, that allows us to move forward towards the kind of lives that we really want to live.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven C. Hayes" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/there-is-a-middle-path-between-indulgence-and-suppression-but-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/afc/steven-c-hayes-19351_avoidance_there-is-a-middle-path-between-indulgenc_3209776.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/afc/steven-c-hayes-19351_avoidance_there-is-a-middle-path-between-indulgenc_3209776.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/afc/steven-c-hayes-19351_avoidance_there-is-a-middle-path-between-indulgenc_3209776.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“There is a middle path between indulgence and suppression, but the culture has overwhelmed that in the…” — Steven C. Hayes", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It's pretty clear in how things are moving in empirically supported treatments that we're going to be speaking to the culture in a different voice. It's going to have some echoes of some of the deeper clinical and spiritual and religious traditions that had wisdom in it. If we're not going to get there through religious means and things of that kind, we're going to have to find a way to put it in the culture in a different way, because we need something right now other than yet another cable shoutcast or yet another Internet Web page showing us the cellulite on the actress's rear end.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven C. Hayes" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/it-s-pretty-clear-in-how-things-are-moving-in-empirically-supported/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/30b/steven-c-hayes-19351_culture_it-s-pretty-clear-in-how-things-are-movi_1968999.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/30b/steven-c-hayes-19351_culture_it-s-pretty-clear-in-how-things-are-movi_1968999.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/30b/steven-c-hayes-19351_culture_it-s-pretty-clear-in-how-things-are-movi_1968999.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It's pretty clear in how things are moving in empirically supported treatments that we're going to be…” — Steven C. Hayes", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If a therapist is feeling insecure in therapy, a lot of therapists will try to sort of push that aside to try to do the therapy. Instead, we would ask people to get with that feeling of insecurity, because after all, the client is being asked to do the same thing. It has a kind of a quality of two human beings in the same situation, really, working through these psychological processes. And yeah, you hired me; I'm working for you as a therapist. But I'm not up here and you're down there. And what you're struggling with, at other times and with other areas I'm struggling with.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven C. Hayes" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/if-a-therapist-is-feeling-insecure-in-therapy-a-lot-of-therapists/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e75/steven-c-hayes-19351_feeling-insecure_if-a-therapist-is-feeling-insecure-in-th_312118.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e75/steven-c-hayes-19351_feeling-insecure_if-a-therapist-is-feeling-insecure-in-th_312118.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e75/steven-c-hayes-19351_feeling-insecure_if-a-therapist-is-feeling-insecure-in-th_312118.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If a therapist is feeling insecure in therapy, a lot of therapists will try to sort of push that aside to…” — Steven C. Hayes", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "One dangerous definition of happiness is to think of happiness as kind of a warm, joyful feeling in your heart that you have to pursue and grab and hold onto for fear that it'll go away. A better way to think about happiness that actually is something that I think you can reach towards is, it's living in accord with your values and in a way that is more open and accepting of your history as it echoes into the present, that's more self-affirming, self-validating and values-based. The Greeks had a word for it; they called it eudaimonia. And it is something that will empower human lives.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven C. Hayes" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/one-dangerous-definition-of-happiness-is-to-think-of-happiness-as/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d1e/steven-c-hayes-19351_accepting_one-dangerous-definition-of-happiness-is_2070562.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d1e/steven-c-hayes-19351_accepting_one-dangerous-definition-of-happiness-is_2070562.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d1e/steven-c-hayes-19351_accepting_one-dangerous-definition-of-happiness-is_2070562.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“One dangerous definition of happiness is to think of happiness as kind of a warm, joyful feeling in your…” — Steven C. Hayes", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Most people are hurt deeply by betrayals in relationships. It might be better to really get up against and sort of contact that caring, and maybe take a more loving stance even with your own pain, and keep your feet moving towards what you really want, because the cost in terms of intimacy and connection and caring that comes when you try not to be vulnerable, when you're constantly looking out for betrayals of trust, is too great. It makes it very hard to have relationships of the kind that you really want. One, look where the pain is. Flip it over; you'll find that's where the values are.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven C. Hayes" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/most-people-are-hurt-deeply-by-betrayals-in-relationships-it-might-be/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c78/steven-c-hayes-19351_betrayal_most-people-are-hurt-deeply-by-betrayals_1450576.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c78/steven-c-hayes-19351_betrayal_most-people-are-hurt-deeply-by-betrayals_1450576.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c78/steven-c-hayes-19351_betrayal_most-people-are-hurt-deeply-by-betrayals_1450576.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Most people are hurt deeply by betrayals in relationships. It might be better to really get up against and…” — Steven C. Hayes", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "In Scandinavia probably the most worker-supportive part of the planet, they have the highest rate of chronic pain and worker-related disability. So any kind of pain and difficulty is so much unwelcome that if you say that you're in pain, we're going to even pay you full salary to quit work because you're burned out, inside that what you're going to create is gigantic amounts of chronic pain syndrome. Scandinavians spend 15 percent of their gross national product on disability. 50 percent of the public health nurses are on disability. And that's where we're headed in the U.S. too.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven C. 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