---
title: "36 Joked Quotes by 34 authors"
description: "Browse 36 Joked quotes by 34 authors. Discover the best Joked sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6e1/johann-georg-ritter-von-zimmer_inspirational_the-weak-may-be-joked-out-of-anything-bu_2635059.jpg"
---

> [The weak may be joked out of anything but their weakness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johann-georg-ritter-von-zimmermann/the-weak-may-be-joked-out-of-anything-but-their-weakness/)

[Johann Georg Ritter von Zimmermann](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johann-georg-ritter-von-zimmermann/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6e1/johann-georg-ritter-von-zimmer_inspirational_the-weak-may-be-joked-out-of-anything-bu_2635059.jpg)

> [Some things are so serious, they can only be joked about.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/niels-bohr/some-things-are-so-serious-they-can-only-be-joked-about/)

[Niels Bohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/niels-bohr/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/76a/niels-bohr-4542_comedy_some-things-are-so-serious-they-can-only_2869789.png)

> [People joked that Forster became more renowned with every book he did not write.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-gray/people-joked-that-forster-became-more-renowned-with-every-book-he-did/)

[Paul Gray](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-gray/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b4c/paul-gray-40966_book_people-joked-that-forster-became-more-re_2460618.png)

> [“I joked about every prominent man in my lifetime, but I never met one I didn't like.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/will-rogers/i-joked-about-every-prominent-man-in-my-lifetime-but-i-never-met-one/)

[Will Rogers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/will-rogers/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b10/will-rogers-272_epitaph_i-joked-about-every-prominent-man-in-my_1703874.jpg)

> [I have joked before that there is a good chance that I might retire before Tendulkar.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mahendra-singh-dhoni/i-have-joked-before-that-there-is-a-good-chance-that-i-might-retire/)

[Mahendra Singh Dhoni](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mahendra-singh-dhoni/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8c2/mahendra-singh-dhoni-32757_chance_i-have-joked-before-that-there-is-a-good_1814812.jpg)

> [“Vidal himself joked that at a certain age lawsuits took the place of sex.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-bram/vidal-himself-joked-that-at-a-certain-age-lawsuits-took-the-place-of/)

[Christopher Bram](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-bram/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7f2/christopher-bram-14723_gay-writers_vidal-himself-joked-that-at-a-certain-ag_525796.png)

> [“I don’t think my social media obsession is dangerous.” I joked.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cambria-hebert/i-don-t-think-my-social-media-obsession-is-dangerous-i-joked/)

[Cambria Hebert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cambria-hebert/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8fd/cambria-hebert-10059_social-media_i-don-t-think-my-social-media-obsession_275583.jpg)

> [often when I thought I joked, I told the truth, afraid to speak it except in jest.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lucy-freeman/often-when-i-thought-i-joked-i-told-the-truth-afraid-to-speak-it/)

[Lucy Freeman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lucy-freeman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/957/lucy-freeman-34914_jest_often-when-i-thought-i-joked-i-told-the_599261.jpg)

> [“I joked with my friends that I was doing so much with the kids my estrogen levels had risen. I was starting…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noah-galloway/i-joked-with-my-friends-that-i-was-doing-so-much-with-the-kids-my/)

[Noah Galloway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noah-galloway/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0d4/noah-galloway-8545_quote_i-joked-with-my-friends-that-i-was-doing_1997256.jpg)

> [“I didn't want to think about the fact that she could smell me, or that she just joked about eating me. At…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lish-mcbride/i-didn-t-want-to-think-about-the-fact-that-she-could-smell-me-or-that/)

[Lish McBride](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lish-mcbride/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/52c/lish-mcbride-10317_didn-want_i-didn-t-want-to-think-about-the-fact-th_2668628.jpg)

> [In lighthearted countries, people joked about this phenomenon, but such serious, practical countries as England, America, and Germany were deeply concerned.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jules-verne/in-lighthearted-countries-people-joked-about-this-phenomenon-but-such/)

[Jules Verne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jules-verne/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/917/jules-verne-795_america_in-lighthearted-countries-people-joked-a_487203.jpg)

> [“The men joked about it and called him a "good sport" and a "dandy" however, their eyes were greedily trying to put…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/n-torres/the-men-joked-about-it-and-called-him-a-good-sport-and-a-dandy/)

[N. Torres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/n-torres/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d92/n-torres-49399_quote_the-men-joked-about-it-and-called-him-a_2106542.jpg)

> [I once joked in a book that there are three things you can't do in life. You can't beat the phone company,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-bryson/i-once-joked-in-a-book-that-there-are-three-things-you-can-t-do-in-2/)

[Bill Bryson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-bryson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/90d/bill-bryson-340_again_i-once-joked-in-a-book-that-there-are-th_1994829.png)

> [“That day I learned a person can get used to anything. Soon it all seemed normal to us, and we even joked…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-saunders/that-day-i-learned-a-person-can-get-used-to-anything-soon-it-all/)

[George Saunders](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-saunders/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/09e/george-saunders-317_quote_that-day-i-learned-a-person-can-get-used_2229106.jpg)

> [I got joked on. You had people saying I was stupid, that I was lame, that I was feminine, this and that.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/khalid/i-got-joked-on-you-had-people-saying-i-was-stupid-that-i-was-lame/)

[Khalid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/khalid/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aea/khalid-7882_feminine_i-got-joked-on-you-had-people-saying-i-w_1352230.jpg)

> [Things felt so dicey during the Trump years, I half-joked that my husband and I might have to reenact that scene from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-capehart/things-felt-so-dicey-during-the-trump-years-i-half-joked-that-my/)

[Jonathan Capehart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-capehart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b02/jonathan-capehart-4932_country_things-felt-so-dicey-during-the-trump-ye_1343163.jpg)

> [I remember after I dated this white man, nobody said anything but there was a couple of men in my family that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sanaa-lathan/i-remember-after-i-dated-this-white-man-nobody-said-anything-but/)

[Sanaa Lathan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sanaa-lathan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/055/sanaa-lathan-12439_acceptable_i-remember-after-i-dated-this-white-man_1117604.png)

> [I don't know about the baby, but I will be interested to see, like anyone who's a fan of the show \[how…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-duchovny/i-don-t-know-about-the-baby-but-i-will-be-interested-to-see-like/)

[David Duchovny](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-duchovny/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/156/david-duchovny-1754_baby_i-don-t-know-about-the-baby-but-i-will-b_3128943.jpg)

> [“Riley chuckled. “I checked for wormholes but sometimes you miss them at the stem. It won’t hurt you,” he joked. “It’s just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pepper-pace/riley-chuckled-i-checked-for-wormholes-but-sometimes-you-miss-them-at/)

[Pepper Pace](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pepper-pace/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb9/pepper-pace-34301_chuckled_riley-chuckled-i-checked-for-wormholes-b_2424569.jpg)

> [“I glared at Shane, who gave me an innocent look. With the most serious expression I could make, I joked, “Some of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christine-zolendz/i-glared-at-shane-who-gave-me-an-innocent-look-with-the-most-serious/)

[Christine Zolendz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christine-zolendz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/07e/christine-zolendz-2117_black-widow_i-glared-at-shane-who-gave-me-an-innocen_844437.jpg)

> [When my husband and I first became parents, we joked that our chubby baby was destined to grow into an Alex P.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rumaan-alam/when-my-husband-and-i-first-became-parents-we-joked-that-our-chubby/)

[Rumaan Alam](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rumaan-alam/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/190/rumaan-alam-5326_brooklyn_when-my-husband-and-i-first-became-paren_1198758.jpg)

> [“My personal favorite was watching him play The Game of Life. It’s like the stupidest game ever, but he was thrilled with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kelly-oram/my-personal-favorite-was-watching-him-play-the-game-of-life-it-s-like/)

[Kelly Oram](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kelly-oram/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/239/kelly-oram-4058_football-team_my-personal-favorite-was-watching-him-pl_853085.jpg)

> [“What are you smiling about? Do you have gas?" Drew joked. "Hey, Mommy, Carter has a HUGE wiener," Gavin said around a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tara-sivec/what-are-you-smiling-about-do-you-have-gas-drew-joked-hey-mommy/)

[Tara Sivec](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tara-sivec/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ae1/tara-sivec-2248_laughed_what-are-you-smiling-about-do-you-have-g_3167587.jpg)

> [“So basically you're just a fucking train wreck?" she joked. "I prefer conflicted," I corrected.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chasta-schneider/so-basically-you-re-just-a-fucking-train-wreck-she-joked-i-prefer/)

[Chasta Schneider](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chasta-schneider/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/31b/chasta-schneider-67468_conflicted_so-basically-you-re-just-a-fucking-train_507983.jpg)

> [I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I didn't like.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/will-rogers/i-joked-about-every-prominent-man-of-my-time-but-i-never-met-a-man-i/)

[Will Rogers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/will-rogers/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db2/will-rogers-272_inspirational_i-joked-about-every-prominent-man-of-my_1161241.jpg)

> [“Can't you ever get off for good behavior?" he joked. "Sure," I called over my shoulder. "If I was ever good.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richelle-mead/can-t-you-ever-get-off-for-good-behavior-he-joked-sure-i-called-over/)

[Richelle Mead](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richelle-mead/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/868/richelle-mead-46_good-behavior_can-t-you-ever-get-off-for-good-behavior_920059.jpg)

> [I've joked before: I'm a system kicker. In a sense, it is true.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/justin-tucker/i-ve-joked-before-i-m-a-system-kicker-in-a-sense-it-is-true/)

[Justin Tucker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/justin-tucker/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df9/justin-tucker-6033_before_i-ve-joked-before-i-m-a-system-kicker-in_1240141.jpg)

> [“Leo had once joked about writing an allegorical sketch where Parody packed its bags, shut up shop and put a sign on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-mcguinness/leo-had-once-joked-about-writing-an-allegorical-sketch-where-parody/)

[Patrick McGuinness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-mcguinness/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1b5/patrick-mcguinness-51267_reality_leo-had-once-joked-about-writing-an-alle_2469254.jpg)

> [“You almost got hit by a truck because you were checking me out?" I joked and he laughed loudly. "Yeah. Good thing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shelly-crane/you-almost-got-hit-by-a-truck-because-you-were-checking-me-out-i/)

[Shelly Crane](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shelly-crane/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fc9/shelly-crane-2084_good-thing_you-almost-got-hit-by-a-truck-because-yo_1657914.jpg)

> [“They had joked together as young men that they planned to die before their wives; it was the best way, since neither…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-johnson/they-had-joked-together-as-young-men-that-they-planned-to-die-before/)

[Jane Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-johnson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/524/jane-johnson-52571_life_they-had-joked-together-as-young-men-tha_2293915.jpg)

> [“Bree smiled at me. "Don't worry about me. I think I can handle him. In fact, I want to handle him," she…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cate-tiernan/bree-smiled-at-me-don-t-worry-about-me-i-think-i-can-handle-him-in/)

[Cate Tiernan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cate-tiernan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/292/cate-tiernan-7304_smiled_bree-smiled-at-me-don-t-worry-about-me-i_94203.png)

> [I joked recently that I thought 30 seconds a day for three years would be the best way to enjoy it, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitchell-hurwitz/i-joked-recently-that-i-thought-30-seconds-a-day-for-three-years/)

[Mitchell Hurwitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitchell-hurwitz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/795/mitchell-hurwitz-9427_being-the-best_i-joked-recently-that-i-thought-30-secon_62029.jpg)

> [ We... joked a little about presidential portraits. He \[Bill Clinton\] told me that he and Harrison Ford had been joking recently about… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelson-shanks/we-joked-a-little-about-presidential-portraits-he-bill-clinton-told/)

[Nelson Shanks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nelson-shanks/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e39/nelson-shanks-28304_age_we-joked-a-little-about-presidential-por_2157990.jpg)

> [“America, is it?” I joked as she approached. “Yes, it is. And I know I’ve heard your name before, but could you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kiera-cass/america-is-it-i-joked-as-she-approached-yes-it-is-and-i-know-i-ve/)

[Kiera Cass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kiera-cass/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/440/kiera-cass-496_quote_america-is-it-i-joked-as-she-approached_1460555.jpg)

> [Can you ever get off for good behavior?" he joked. I gave him what I hoped was a seductive smile as I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richelle-mead/can-you-ever-get-off-for-good-behavior-he-joked-i-gave-him-what-i/)

[Richelle Mead](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richelle-mead/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/369/richelle-mead-46_behavior_can-you-ever-get-off-for-good-behavior-h_619701.jpg)

> [I've had times where I've joked, like, 'I'm going to move to Vermont and become a painter.' And sometimes that joke felt…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kate-micucci/i-ve-had-times-where-i-ve-joked-like-i-m-going-to-move-to-vermont-and/)

[Kate Micucci](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kate-micucci/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/20f/kate-micucci-19349_artist_i-ve-had-times-where-i-ve-joked-like-i-m_449364.jpg)

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                        "text": "Things felt so dicey during the Trump years, I half-joked that my husband and I might have to reenact that scene from 'The Sound of Music' and flee the country.",
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                        "text": "I remember after I dated this white man, nobody said anything but there was a couple of men in my family that joked after that. 'Oh yeah, we had a party when y'all broke up. Hee hee hee.' And, you know, they laughed, and it was like light and a joke. But, you know, that's real. That was real and they let me know. And, it's almost acceptable within our culture to be prejudiced toward whites because of our history. This country is loaded with racism .",
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                        "text": "I don't know about the baby, but I will be interested to see, like anyone who's a fan of the show [how it's resolved],\" he said, and then joked, \"They'll have to resolve me while I'm not there, so I hope they don't say, 'Oh yeah, Mulder's gone, what an asshole. He had a baby with me, he kissed me and then he left.'",
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                        "text": "“I glared at Shane, who gave me an innocent look. With the most serious expression I could make, I joked, “Some of my close friends have called me Black Widow, because after I sleep with someone, I kill them.” Shane looked at me evenly, matching my serious expression, “I have no doubt in my mind that you have had that effect on men, since I feel like I’ve died every time you’ve smiled at me.”",
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                        "text": "When my husband and I first became parents, we joked that our chubby baby was destined to grow into an Alex P. Keaton Reaganite - the most unlikely, and therefore hilarious, course for the child of an interracial gay couple in gentrifying Brooklyn.",
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                        "text": "“My personal favorite was watching him play The Game of Life. It’s like the stupidest game ever, but he was thrilled with every turn. He joked about finally having the time to go to college and kept landing on the baby spaces. He ended up needing two of those little cars to carry all his people around. The dork actually named them all and gave them each positions on the family football team. Not”",
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                        "text": "“What are you smiling about? Do you have gas?\" Drew joked. \"Hey, Mommy, Carter has a HUGE wiener,\" Gavin said around a mouthful of cookie, holding his hands up in the air about three feet apart, like you do when you're telling someone how big the fish is you just caught. Claire quickly reached over and pushed Gavin's arms down while everyone else at the table laughed. I just sat back and smiled and tried to keep my anaconda penis tucked under the table so it wouldn't scare anyone.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“So basically you're just a fucking train wreck?\" she joked. \"I prefer conflicted,\" I corrected.”",
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                        "text": "I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I didn't like.",
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                        "text": "“Can't you ever get off for good behavior?\" he joked. \"Sure,\" I called over my shoulder. \"If I was ever good.”",
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                        "text": "I've joked before: I'm a system kicker. In a sense, it is true.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Leo had once joked about writing an allegorical sketch where Parody packed its bags, shut up shop and put a sign on the door which read: “Closed. Any inquiries please contact the Real”.”",
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                        "text": "“You almost got hit by a truck because you were checking me out?\" I joked and he laughed loudly. \"Yeah. Good thing you saved me. It would have been your fault if I didn't make it,\" he said through a grin.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“They had joked together as young men that they planned to die before their wives; it was the best way, since neither man could imagine life without them.”",
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                        "text": "“Bree smiled at me. \"Don't worry about me. I think I can handle him. In fact, I want to handle him,\" she joked. \"All over.”",
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                        "text": "I joked recently that I thought 30 seconds a day for three years would be the best way to enjoy it, and I'm going to stand by that statement.",
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                        "text": "We... joked a little about presidential portraits. He [Bill Clinton] told me that he and Harrison Ford had been joking recently about how chins drop with age, and he didn't want to look that way.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“America, is it?” I joked as she approached. “Yes, it is. And I know I’ve heard your name before, but could you remind me?”",
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                        "text": "Can you ever get off for good behavior?\" he joked. I gave him what I hoped was a seductive smile as I found my seat. \"Sure,\" I called over my shoulder. \"If I was ever good.",
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