---
title: "5 John Quotes By Katelin LaMontagne"
description: "5 John quotes by Katelin LaMontagne. Plus more from Katelin LaMontagne and more John sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a3e/katelin-lamontagne-31161_humor_are-you-even-listening-to-yourself-right_12485.jpg"
---

> [“Are you even listening to yourself right now? You sound like you’re from the nineteen hundreds, not the two thousands." I pointed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katelin-lamontagne/are-you-even-listening-to-yourself-right-now-you-sound-like-you-re/)

[Katelin LaMontagne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katelin-lamontagne/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a3e/katelin-lamontagne-31161_humor_are-you-even-listening-to-yourself-right_12485.jpg)

> [“What’s wrong with you?” John asks suspiciously. I give him a ‘what chu talkin’ ‘bout Willis?’ look and he explains. “You just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katelin-lamontagne/what-s-wrong-with-you-john-asks-suspiciously-i-give-him-a-what-chu/)

[Katelin LaMontagne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katelin-lamontagne/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6e7/katelin-lamontagne-31161_best-friend_what-s-wrong-with-you-john-asks-suspicio_24777.jpg)

> [“She snores, she talks too god damn much, and she tries to cuddle.” John visibly shivers at that, so I nod and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katelin-lamontagne/she-snores-she-talks-too-god-damn-much-and-she-tries-to-cuddle-john/)

[Katelin LaMontagne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katelin-lamontagne/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/126/katelin-lamontagne-31161_every-step_she-snores-she-talks-too-god-damn-much-a_523813.jpg)

> [“You were supposed to be my wingman, not my freaking kamikaze pilot.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katelin-lamontagne/you-were-supposed-to-be-my-wingman-not-my-freaking-kamikaze-pilot/)

[Katelin LaMontagne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katelin-lamontagne/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/38c/katelin-lamontagne-31161_humor_you-were-supposed-to-be-my-wingman-not-m_1036944.jpg)

> [“Who the fuck calls their priest when their son is having a crisis?" "I do, now shut up!" Ma answered.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katelin-lamontagne/who-the-fuck-calls-their-priest-when-their-son-is-having-a-crisis-i/)

[Katelin LaMontagne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katelin-lamontagne/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0bb/katelin-lamontagne-31161_humor_who-the-fuck-calls-their-priest-when-the_2176087.jpg)

## Other authors on John

## More by Katelin LaMontagne

> [“Are you even listening to yourself right now? You sound like you’re from the nineteen hundreds, not the two thousands." I pointed at the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katelin-lamontagne/are-you-even-listening-to-yourself-right-now-you-sound-like-you-re/)

[Katelin LaMontagne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katelin-lamontagne/)

> [“What’s wrong with you?” John asks suspiciously. I give him a ‘what chu talkin’ ‘bout Willis?’ look and he explains. “You just woke up.”…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katelin-lamontagne/what-s-wrong-with-you-john-asks-suspiciously-i-give-him-a-what-chu/)

[Katelin LaMontagne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katelin-lamontagne/)

> [“I'll be your shovel.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katelin-lamontagne/i-ll-be-your-shovel/)

[Katelin LaMontagne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katelin-lamontagne/)

> [“My god, I sound like a chick. I must be suffering the debilitating condition called DIC, Dick In Charge, since obviously he's running the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katelin-lamontagne/my-god-i-sound-like-a-chick-i-must-be-suffering-the-debilitating/)

[Katelin LaMontagne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katelin-lamontagne/)

> [“She snores, she talks too god damn much, and she tries to cuddle.” John visibly shivers at that, so I nod and continue to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katelin-lamontagne/she-snores-she-talks-too-god-damn-much-and-she-tries-to-cuddle-john/)

[Katelin LaMontagne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katelin-lamontagne/)

> [“Assumptions are for assholes.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katelin-lamontagne/assumptions-are-for-assholes/)

[Katelin LaMontagne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katelin-lamontagne/)

> [“Sorry, I didn’t know that you had a vagina, I’ll refrain from using vulgar words for now on. How about it smells like pee…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katelin-lamontagne/sorry-i-didn-t-know-that-you-had-a-vagina-i-ll-refrain-from-using/)

[Katelin LaMontagne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katelin-lamontagne/)

> [“You were supposed to be my wingman, not my freaking kamikaze pilot.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katelin-lamontagne/you-were-supposed-to-be-my-wingman-not-my-freaking-kamikaze-pilot/)

[Katelin LaMontagne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katelin-lamontagne/)

> [“It’s like before when there was a huge pile up on the highway, as soon as you got to the point in the traffic…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katelin-lamontagne/it-s-like-before-when-there-was-a-huge-pile-up-on-the-highway-as-soon/)

[Katelin LaMontagne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katelin-lamontagne/)

> [“Fucking morning people, they just don’t understand what it a chore it is for us normal people to not want to leave our warm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katelin-lamontagne/fucking-morning-people-they-just-don-t-understand-what-it-a-chore-it/)

[Katelin LaMontagne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katelin-lamontagne/)

> [“Patience is a virtue," she replies. "Why couldn't 'hurry the fuck up' be a virtue?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katelin-lamontagne/patience-is-a-virtue-she-replies-why-couldn-t-hurry-the-fuck-up-be-a/)

[Katelin LaMontagne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katelin-lamontagne/)

> [“You do know you’re a woman, right?” I ask. “Are you sure?” Olivia asks with an astonished face. “I thought I had a penis.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katelin-lamontagne/you-do-know-you-re-a-woman-right-i-ask-are-you-sure-olivia-asks-with/)

[Katelin LaMontagne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katelin-lamontagne/)

> [“Who the fuck calls their priest when their son is having a crisis?" "I do, now shut up!" Ma answered.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katelin-lamontagne/who-the-fuck-calls-their-priest-when-their-son-is-having-a-crisis-i/)

[Katelin LaMontagne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katelin-lamontagne/)

> [“Time is precious and should be spent doing things that make you happy, not brushing those very moments aside. That’s when you really die,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katelin-lamontagne/time-is-precious-and-should-be-spent-doing-things-that-make-you-happy/)

[Katelin LaMontagne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katelin-lamontagne/)

> [“You’re not so much of a shmuck after all, Jarry.” “Thanks, PITA. But you tell anyone that I’m going soft, and I’ll deny it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katelin-lamontagne/you-re-not-so-much-of-a-shmuck-after-all-jarry-thanks-pita-but-you/)

[Katelin LaMontagne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katelin-lamontagne/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "ItemList",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/john/katelin-lamontagne/#itemlist",
            "name": "5 John Quotes By Katelin LaMontagne",
            "numberOfItems": 5,
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Are you even listening to yourself right now? You sound like you’re from the nineteen hundreds, not the two thousands.\" I pointed at the bed. \"That thing has been laid straight more times than should be possible, but she managed it somehow; since she could sink the Titanic between her thighs, and still have room. Not to mention that they have this marvelous invention called a condom, and thank fucking Christ for that, since it prevents that troll from touching my baby making treasure.”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Katelin LaMontagne"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katelin-lamontagne/are-you-even-listening-to-yourself-right-now-you-sound-like-you-re/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a3e/katelin-lamontagne-31161_humor_are-you-even-listening-to-yourself-right_12485.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a3e/katelin-lamontagne-31161_humor_are-you-even-listening-to-yourself-right_12485.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a3e/katelin-lamontagne-31161_humor_are-you-even-listening-to-yourself-right_12485.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“Are you even listening to yourself right now? You sound like you’re from the nineteen hundreds, not the two…” — Katelin LaMontagne",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“What’s wrong with you?” John asks suspiciously. I give him a ‘what chu talkin’ ‘bout Willis?’ look and he explains. “You just woke up.” I nod. “Walked into the kitchen.” Once again I nod, not seeing what the big deal is. “And didn’t rip apart the cabinets like a rabid squirrel looking for coffee.” I shrug at that, I didn’t even remember it. “What the fuck have you done with my best friend?”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Katelin LaMontagne"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katelin-lamontagne/what-s-wrong-with-you-john-asks-suspiciously-i-give-him-a-what-chu/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6e7/katelin-lamontagne-31161_best-friend_what-s-wrong-with-you-john-asks-suspicio_24777.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6e7/katelin-lamontagne-31161_best-friend_what-s-wrong-with-you-john-asks-suspicio_24777.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6e7/katelin-lamontagne-31161_best-friend_what-s-wrong-with-you-john-asks-suspicio_24777.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“What’s wrong with you?” John asks suspiciously. I give him a ‘what chu talkin’ ‘bout Willis?’ look and he…” — Katelin LaMontagne",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“She snores, she talks too god damn much, and she tries to cuddle.” John visibly shivers at that, so I nod and continue to state my grievances. “She’s always in my room, even when I’ve told her to stay the fuck out on multiple occasions. If she’s not in my room, she’s dogging my every step, or in my freaking face and asking so many fucking questions. ‘Do we have enough food, Jared? What about ammo? Are you sure it’s safe? What will happen if the monsters got in?’ I just want to go to fucking sleep, and she wants pillow talk after some subpar post coition.”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Katelin LaMontagne"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katelin-lamontagne/she-snores-she-talks-too-god-damn-much-and-she-tries-to-cuddle-john/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/126/katelin-lamontagne-31161_every-step_she-snores-she-talks-too-god-damn-much-a_523813.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/126/katelin-lamontagne-31161_every-step_she-snores-she-talks-too-god-damn-much-a_523813.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/126/katelin-lamontagne-31161_every-step_she-snores-she-talks-too-god-damn-much-a_523813.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“She snores, she talks too god damn much, and she tries to cuddle.” John visibly shivers at that, so I nod…” — Katelin LaMontagne",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“You were supposed to be my wingman, not my freaking kamikaze pilot.”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Katelin LaMontagne"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katelin-lamontagne/you-were-supposed-to-be-my-wingman-not-my-freaking-kamikaze-pilot/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/38c/katelin-lamontagne-31161_humor_you-were-supposed-to-be-my-wingman-not-m_1036944.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/38c/katelin-lamontagne-31161_humor_you-were-supposed-to-be-my-wingman-not-m_1036944.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/38c/katelin-lamontagne-31161_humor_you-were-supposed-to-be-my-wingman-not-m_1036944.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“You were supposed to be my wingman, not my freaking kamikaze pilot.” — Katelin LaMontagne",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 5,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Who the fuck calls their priest when their son is having a crisis?\" \"I do, now shut up!\" Ma answered.”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Katelin LaMontagne"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katelin-lamontagne/who-the-fuck-calls-their-priest-when-their-son-is-having-a-crisis-i/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0bb/katelin-lamontagne-31161_humor_who-the-fuck-calls-their-priest-when-the_2176087.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0bb/katelin-lamontagne-31161_humor_who-the-fuck-calls-their-priest-when-the_2176087.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0bb/katelin-lamontagne-31161_humor_who-the-fuck-calls-their-priest-when-the_2176087.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“Who the fuck calls their priest when their son is having a crisis?\" \"I do, now shut up!\" Ma answered.” — Katelin LaMontagne",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                }
            ]
        },
        {
            "@type": "CollectionPage",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/john/katelin-lamontagne/#webpage",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/john/katelin-lamontagne/",
            "name": "John Quotes by Katelin LaMontagne",
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "mainEntity": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/john/katelin-lamontagne/#itemlist"
            },
            "primaryImageOfPage": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a3e/katelin-lamontagne-31161_humor_are-you-even-listening-to-yourself-right_12485.jpg"
            },
            "description": "5 John quotes by Katelin LaMontagne. Plus more from Katelin LaMontagne and more John sayings from other authors.",
            "breadcrumb": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/john/katelin-lamontagne/#breadcrumb"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/john/katelin-lamontagne/#breadcrumb",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Topics",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/categories/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "John",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/john/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 5,
                    "name": "Katelin LaMontagne",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/john/katelin-lamontagne/"
                }
            ]
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```