---
title: "7 Insult Quotes By Henny Youngman"
description: "7 Insult quotes by Henny Youngman. Plus more from Henny Youngman and more Insult sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c6b/henny-youngman-1539_fashion_was-that-suit-made-to-order-where-were-y_337803.jpg"
---

> [Was that suit made to order? Where were you at the time?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/was-that-suit-made-to-order-where-were-you-at-the-time/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c6b/henny-youngman-1539_fashion_was-that-suit-made-to-order-where-were-y_337803.jpg)

> [What's the latest dope on Wall Street?" "My son!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/what-s-the-latest-dope-on-wall-street-my-son/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/475/henny-youngman-1539_dope_what-s-the-latest-dope-on-wall-street-my_711841.jpg)

> [Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/where-did-you-get-your-haircut-the-pet-shop/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f30/henny-youngman-1539_funny_where-did-you-get-your-haircut-the-pet-s_1621909.jpg)

> [You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/you-have-the-midas-touch-everything-you-touch-turns-to-a-muffler/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb1/henny-youngman-1539_funny_you-have-the-midas-touch-everything-you_2205734.jpg)

> [Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/is-that-your-hat-or-are-you-wearing-a-cabana/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b06/henny-youngman-1539_funny_is-that-your-hat-or-are-you-wearing-a-ca_2299994.jpg)

> [The more I think of you, the less I think of you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/the-more-i-think-of-you-the-less-i-think-of-you/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dd2/henny-youngman-1539_funny_the-more-i-think-of-you-the-less-i-think_2949701.jpg)

> [He doesn't get ulcers - he gives them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/he-doesn-t-get-ulcers-he-gives-them/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a9c/henny-youngman-1539_gives_he-doesn-t-get-ulcers-he-gives-them-3215_3215339.jpg)

## Other authors on Insult

## More by Henny Youngman

> [I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/i-take-my-wife-everywhere-but-she-keeps-finding-her-way-back/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

> [A man goes to a psychiatrist. "Nobody listens to me!" The doctor says, "Next!"](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/a-man-goes-to-a-psychiatrist-nobody-listens-to-me-the-doctor-says-next/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

> [My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/my-other-brother-in-law-died-he-was-a-karate-expert-then-joined-the/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

> [I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/i-have-a-car-that-i-call-flattery-because-it-gets-me-nowhere/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

> [I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. "Peanuts. Popcorn."](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/i-ll-never-forget-my-first-words-in-the-theatre-peanuts-popcorn/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

> [A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/a-car-hit-a-jewish-man-the-paramedic-says-are-you-comfortable-the-man/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

> [My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, "Crick".](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/my-brother-then-bought-1000-japanese-cameras-they-all-go-crick/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

> [The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/the-most-effective-way-to-remember-your-wife-s-birthday-is-to-forget/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

> [My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/my-wife-is-a-light-eater-as-soon-as-it-s-light-she-starts-to-eat/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

> [Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/just-got-back-from-a-pleasure-trip-i-took-my-mother-in-law-to-the/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

> [The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/the-hotel-i-m-in-has-a-lovely-closet-a-nail/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

> [Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/everytime-i-ask-what-time-it-is-i-get-a-different-answer/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

> [If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/if-you-re-going-to-do-something-tonight-that-you-ll-be-sorry-for/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

> [Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/psychiatrists-say-that-1-of-4-people-are-mentally-ill-check-3-friends/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

> [The food on the plane was fit for a king. "Here, King!"](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/the-food-on-the-plane-was-fit-for-a-king-here-king/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

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