---
title: "17 Ifs Quotes By Robert Anton Wilson"
description: "17 Ifs quotes by Robert Anton Wilson. Plus more from Robert Anton Wilson and more Ifs sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/352/robert-anton-wilson-1198_every-day_if-you-want-to-be-happy-practise-it-ever_2009304.jpg"
---

> [If you want to be happy, practise it every day](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-anton-wilson/if-you-want-to-be-happy-practise-it-every-day/)

[Robert Anton Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-anton-wilson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/352/robert-anton-wilson-1198_every-day_if-you-want-to-be-happy-practise-it-ever_2009304.jpg)

> [If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-anton-wilson/if-it-s-true-that-we-are-here-to-help-others-then-what-exactly-are/)

[Robert Anton Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-anton-wilson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5c7/robert-anton-wilson-1198_funny_if-it-s-true-that-we-are-here-to-help-ot_1698386.jpg)

> [If you don't laugh at all, you've missed the point. If you only laugh, you've missed your chance from illumination.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-anton-wilson/if-you-don-t-laugh-at-all-you-ve-missed-the-point-if-you-only-laugh/)

[Robert Anton Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-anton-wilson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/19d/robert-anton-wilson-1198_chance_if-you-don-t-laugh-at-all-you-ve-missed_473596.jpg)

> [Artistic judgments are silly if expressed as dogmas, at least until we get an "artometer" which can measure objectively how many micro-michelangelos…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-anton-wilson/artistic-judgments-are-silly-if-expressed-as-dogmas-at-least-until-we/)

[Robert Anton Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-anton-wilson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4dd/robert-anton-wilson-1198_art_artistic-judgments-are-silly-if-expresse_1451892.jpg)

> [To me, it doesn't matter if your scapegoats are the Jews, the homosexuals, the male sex, the Masons, the Jesuits, the Welfare…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-anton-wilson/to-me-it-doesn-t-matter-if-your-scapegoats-are-the-jews-the/)

[Robert Anton Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-anton-wilson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1d0/robert-anton-wilson-1198_brain_to-me-it-doesn-t-matter-if-your-scapegoa_1688688.jpg)

> [Bob Dylan seems to me a totally pernicious influence - the nasal whine of death and masochism. Certainly, this would be a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-anton-wilson/bob-dylan-seems-to-me-a-totally-pernicious-influence-the-nasal-whine/)

[Robert Anton Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-anton-wilson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/75c/robert-anton-wilson-1198_audience_bob-dylan-seems-to-me-a-totally-pernicio_1236561.jpg)

> [I've recently noticed "as if for the first time" that when people pray they always look "upward" - i.e. perpendicular to whatever…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-anton-wilson/i-ve-recently-noticed-as-if-for-the-first-time-that-when-people-pray/)

[Robert Anton Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-anton-wilson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/985/robert-anton-wilson-1198_donuts_i-ve-recently-noticed-as-if-for-the-firs_3009138.jpg)

> [If you want to become a concert pianist, do it every day. You want to be a writer, do it every day.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-anton-wilson/if-you-want-to-become-a-concert-pianist-do-it-every-day-you-want-to/)

[Robert Anton Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-anton-wilson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9c6/robert-anton-wilson-1198_cheerful_if-you-want-to-become-a-concert-pianist_1598192.jpg)

> [Every morning I have been looking at CNN to see if there is any reason for hope. I see a few large…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-anton-wilson/every-morning-i-have-been-looking-at-cnn-to-see-if-there-is-any/)

[Robert Anton Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-anton-wilson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e9a/robert-anton-wilson-1198_around-the-world_every-morning-i-have-been-looking-at-cnn_2541706.jpg)

> ["Elohim," the name for the creative power in Genesis, is a female plural, a fact that generations of learned rabbis and Christian…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-anton-wilson/elohim-the-name-for-the-creative-power-in-genesis-is-a-female-plural/)

[Robert Anton Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-anton-wilson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ad9/robert-anton-wilson-1198_als_elohim-the-name-for-the-creative-power-i_1499031.jpg)

> [Whatever the Thinker thinks, the Prover will prove. And if the Thinker thinks passionately enough, the Prover will prove the thought so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-anton-wilson/whatever-the-thinker-thinks-the-prover-will-prove-and-if-the-thinker/)

[Robert Anton Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-anton-wilson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/939/robert-anton-wilson-1198_belief_whatever-the-thinker-thinks-the-prover-w_2015462.jpg)

> [If the oncoming mutation to interstellar immortality is screwed up by the politicians, it will be because those of us who see…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-anton-wilson/if-the-oncoming-mutation-to-interstellar-immortality-is-screwed-up-by/)

[Robert Anton Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-anton-wilson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1f4/robert-anton-wilson-1198_deserve_if-the-oncoming-mutation-to-interstellar_547722.jpg)

> [Belief Systems contradict both science and ordinary "common sense." B.S. contradicts science, because it claims certitude and science can never achieve certitude:…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-anton-wilson/belief-systems-contradict-both-science-and-ordinary-common-sense-b-s/)

[Robert Anton Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-anton-wilson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f94/robert-anton-wilson-1198_achieve_belief-systems-contradict-both-science-a_675679.jpg)

> [We're all looking from the point of view of our own reality tunnels. And when we begin to realize that we're all…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-anton-wilson/we-re-all-looking-from-the-point-of-view-of-our-own-reality-tunnels/)

[Robert Anton Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-anton-wilson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1fa/robert-anton-wilson-1198_different_we-re-all-looking-from-the-point-of-view_1085656.jpg)

> [Money, after all, is an abstract artifact, like language - merely symbolized by the paper or coin or whatever. If you can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-anton-wilson/money-after-all-is-an-abstract-artifact-like-language-merely/)

[Robert Anton Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-anton-wilson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ec7/robert-anton-wilson-1198_abstract_money-after-all-is-an-abstract-artifact_2592398.jpg)

> [Governments are based pincipally on force and deception. Democratic governments are based chiefly on deception, other governments on force. And democratic governments,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-anton-wilson/governments-are-based-pincipally-on-force-and-deception-democratic/)

[Robert Anton Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-anton-wilson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ea/robert-anton-wilson-1198_brute-force_governments-are-based-pincipally-on-forc_2709276.jpg)

> [There is no governor anywhere. You are all absolutely free. There is no restraint that cannot be escaped. If anybody could go…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-anton-wilson/there-is-no-governor-anywhere-you-are-all-absolutely-free-there-is-no-2/)

[Robert Anton Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-anton-wilson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/325/robert-anton-wilson-1198_alive_there-is-no-governor-anywhere-you-are-al_2770816.jpg)

## Other authors on Ifs

## More by Robert Anton Wilson

> [Every fact of science was once Damned. Every invention was considered impossible. Every discovery was a nervous shock to some orthodoxy. Every artistic innovation…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-anton-wilson/every-fact-of-science-was-once-damned-every-invention-was-considered/)

[Robert Anton Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-anton-wilson/)

> [The only way to stave off boredom, in a complex domesticated primate like humankind, is to increase one's intelligence. This is not appealing to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-anton-wilson/the-only-way-to-stave-off-boredom-in-a-complex-domesticated-primate/)

[Robert Anton Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-anton-wilson/)

> [Disobedience was man's Original Virtue.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-anton-wilson/disobedience-was-man-s-original-virtue/)

[Robert Anton Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-anton-wilson/)

> [In every state of the Union, Fundamentalists still fight to ban all the science they dislike and prosecute all who teach it. To them,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-anton-wilson/in-every-state-of-the-union-fundamentalists-still-fight-to-ban-all/)

[Robert Anton Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-anton-wilson/)

> [It is a great privilege to be conscious in this universe. Those who understand, shine like stars.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-anton-wilson/it-is-a-great-privilege-to-be-conscious-in-this-universe-those-who/)

[Robert Anton Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-anton-wilson/)

> [I will do anything, including highway robbery and murder, to avoid leaving my children in poverty.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-anton-wilson/i-will-do-anything-including-highway-robbery-and-murder-to-avoid/)

[Robert Anton Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-anton-wilson/)

> [I see anarchism as the theoretical ideal to which we are all gradually evolving to a point where everybody can tell the truth to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-anton-wilson/i-see-anarchism-as-the-theoretical-ideal-to-which-we-are-all/)

[Robert Anton Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-anton-wilson/)

> [“Masturbation is not the happiest form of sexuality, but the most advisable for him who wants to be alone and think. I detect the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-anton-wilson/masturbation-is-not-the-happiest-form-of-sexuality-but-the-most/)

[Robert Anton Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-anton-wilson/)

> [I like pacifists and people who have a heavy emotional identification with deathism and war would probably call me a pacifist, but I am…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-anton-wilson/i-like-pacifists-and-people-who-have-a-heavy-emotional-identification/)

[Robert Anton Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-anton-wilson/)

> [Cynics regarded everybody as equally corrupt... Idealists regarded everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-anton-wilson/cynics-regarded-everybody-as-equally-corrupt-idealists-regarded/)

[Robert Anton Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-anton-wilson/)

> [The most important truths always appear first as blasphemies or obscenities. That's why every great innovator is persecuted. And the sacraments look obscene, too,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-anton-wilson/the-most-important-truths-always-appear-first-as-blasphemies-or/)

[Robert Anton Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-anton-wilson/)

> [“When you're dealing with these forces or powers in a philosophic and scientific way, contemplating them from an armchair, that rationalistic approach is useful.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-anton-wilson/when-you-re-dealing-with-these-forces-or-powers-in-a-philosophic-and/)

[Robert Anton Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-anton-wilson/)

> [“And Spaceship Earth, that glorious and bloody circus, continued its four-billion-year-long spiral orbit about the Sun; the engineering, I must admit, was so exquisite…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-anton-wilson/and-spaceship-earth-that-glorious-and-bloody-circus-continued-its/)

[Robert Anton Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-anton-wilson/)

> [Existence is larger than any model that is not itself the exact size of existence (which has no size).](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-anton-wilson/existence-is-larger-than-any-model-that-is-not-itself-the-exact-size/)

[Robert Anton Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-anton-wilson/)

> [The totally convinced and the totally stupid have too much in common for the resemblance to be accidental.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-anton-wilson/the-totally-convinced-and-the-totally-stupid-have-too-much-in-common/)

[Robert Anton Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-anton-wilson/)

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                        "text": "To me, it doesn't matter if your scapegoats are the Jews, the homosexuals, the male sex, the Masons, the Jesuits, the Welfare Parasites, the Power Elite, the female sex, the vegetarians, or the Communist Party. To the extent that you need a scapegoat, you simply have not got your brain programmed to work as an efficient problem-solving machine.",
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                        "text": "Bob Dylan seems to me a totally pernicious influence - the nasal whine of death and masochism. Certainly, this would be a more cheerful world if there were no Dylan records in it. But Dylan and his audience mirror each other, and deserve each other; as Marx said, a morbid society creates its own morbid grave-diggers.",
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                        "text": "I've recently noticed \"as if for the first time\" that when people pray they always look \"upward\" - i.e. perpendicular to whatever place they're standing - or kneeling or groveling. I deduce that they conceive of their \"god\" as topologically isomorphic to a huge donut, about a thousand miles wider than Earth.",
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                        "text": "If you want to become a concert pianist, do it every day. You want to be a writer, do it every day. You want to become depressed, think depressing thoughts every day. You want to become an optimist, think a cheerful thought every day. Do it every day.",
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                        "text": "Every morning I have been looking at CNN to see if there is any reason for hope. I see a few large and impressive peace protests here and there around the world, but mostly I see empty robot faces monotonously reciting the magic incantations, \"We must support the President\" and \"We must support our troops,\" both of which mean the killing must continue.",
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                        "text": "\"Elohim,\" the name for the creative power in Genesis, is a female plural, a fact that generations of learned rabbis and Christian theologians have all explained as merely grammatical convention. The King James and most other Bibles translate it as \"God,\" but if you take the grammar literally, it seems to mean \"goddesses.\" Al Shaddai, god of battles, appears later, and YHWH, mispronounced Jehovah, later still.",
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                        "text": "Whatever the Thinker thinks, the Prover will prove. And if the Thinker thinks passionately enough, the Prover will prove the thought so conclusively that you will never talk a person out of such a belief, even if it is something as remarkable as the notion that there is a gaseous vertebrate of astronomical heft (\"GOD\") who will spend all eternity torturing people who do not believe in his religion.",
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                        "text": "If the oncoming mutation to interstellar immortality is screwed up by the politicians, it will be because those of us who see the opportunities in modern science are not adroit enough to outmaneuver the forces of inertia, stupidity and greed. Well, if we're not intelligent enough to overcome such obstacles, then we don't deserve to carry off the mutation at this stage of evolution.",
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                        "text": "Belief Systems contradict both science and ordinary \"common sense.\" B.S. contradicts science, because it claims certitude and science can never achieve certitude: it can only say, \"This model\"- or theory, or interpretation of the data- \"fits more of the facts known at this date than any rival model.\" We can never know if the model will fit the facts that might come to light in the next millennium or even in the next week.",
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                        "text": "We're all looking from the point of view of our own reality tunnels. And when we begin to realize that we're all looking from the point of view of our own reality tunnels, we find that it is much easier to understand where other people are coming from. All the ones who don't have the same reality tunnel as us do not seem ignorant, or deliberately perverse, or lying, or hypnotized by some mad ideology, they just have a different reality tunnel. And every reality tunnel might tell us something interesting about our world, if we're willing to listen.",
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                        "text": "Money, after all, is an abstract artifact, like language - merely symbolized by the paper or coin or whatever. If you can fully grasp its abstractedness, especially in the computer age, it becomes quite clear that no group can monopolize this abstraction, except through a series of swindle. If the usurers had been bolder, they might have monopolized language as well as currency, and people would be saying we can't write more books because we don't have enough words, the way they now say we can't build starships, because we don't have enough money.",
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                        "text": "Governments are based pincipally on force and deception. Democratic governments are based chiefly on deception, other governments on force. And democratic governments, if you get too uppity, give up on the deception and resort to brute force, as a lot of us found out in the sixites. Those who didn't find out in the sixites will find out in the near future because we're going to have a rerun.",
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                        "text": "There is no governor anywhere. You are all absolutely free. There is no restraint that cannot be escaped. If anybody could go into dhyana at will, nobody could be controlled - by fear of prison, by fear of whips or electroshock, by fear of death, even. All existing society is based on keeping those fears alive, to control the masses. Ten people who know would be more dangerous than a million armed anarchists.",
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