---
title: "16 Ifs Quotes By Rita Mae Brown"
description: "16 Ifs quotes by Rita Mae Brown. Plus more from Rita Mae Brown and more Ifs sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0f0/rita-mae-brown-1111_computer_computer-dating-it-s-terrific-if-you-re_1900363.png"
---

> [Computer dating? It's terrific if you're a computer!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-mae-brown/computer-dating-it-s-terrific-if-you-re-a-computer/)

[Rita Mae Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-mae-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0f0/rita-mae-brown-1111_computer_computer-dating-it-s-terrific-if-you-re_1900363.png)

> [If you can't raise consciousness, at least raise hell.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-mae-brown/if-you-can-t-raise-consciousness-at-least-raise-hell/)

[Rita Mae Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-mae-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c65/rita-mae-brown-1111_consciousness_if-you-can-t-raise-consciousness-at-leas_1333815.png)

> [If critics want to help me, let them come sit next to me while I'm writing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-mae-brown/if-critics-want-to-help-me-let-them-come-sit-next-to-me-while-i-m/)

[Rita Mae Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-mae-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8b1/rita-mae-brown-1111_critics_if-critics-want-to-help-me-let-them-come_2671383.png)

> [You're nothing in America if you don't have debt.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-mae-brown/you-re-nothing-in-america-if-you-don-t-have-debt/)

[Rita Mae Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-mae-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/082/rita-mae-brown-1111_america_you-re-nothing-in-america-if-you-don-t-h_3119860.png)

> [If you don't like my book, write your own.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-mae-brown/if-you-don-t-like-my-book-write-your-own/)

[Rita Mae Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-mae-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/878/rita-mae-brown-1111_book_if-you-don-t-like-my-book-write-your-own_808687.png)

> [If Michaelangelo were a heterosexual, the Sistine Chapel would have been painted basic white and with a roller.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-mae-brown/if-michaelangelo-were-a-heterosexual-the-sistine-chapel-would-have/)

[Rita Mae Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-mae-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/34b/rita-mae-brown-1111_artist_if-michaelangelo-were-a-heterosexual-the_1522906.png)

> [Life is unjust, people can be cruel, and yet if you harden your heart, you will lose what little love there is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-mae-brown/life-is-unjust-people-can-be-cruel-and-yet-if-you-harden-your-heart/)

[Rita Mae Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-mae-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/34a/rita-mae-brown-1111_cruel_life-is-unjust-people-can-be-cruel-and-y_1799641.png)

> [What's the point of prolonging your life if you don't enjoy it? It's your body. Do whatever you want with it. Better…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-mae-brown/what-s-the-point-of-prolonging-your-life-if-you-don-t-enjoy-it-it-s/)

[Rita Mae Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-mae-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1f5/rita-mae-brown-1111_body_what-s-the-point-of-prolonging-your-life_601729.png)

> [Would it upset men if they found out we weren't different? Are we? Aren't we? Damned if I know.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-mae-brown/would-it-upset-men-if-they-found-out-we-weren-t-different-are-we-aren/)

[Rita Mae Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-mae-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/799/rita-mae-brown-1111_different_would-it-upset-men-if-they-found-out-we_3191716.png)

> [Why marry a woman if you're going to betray her, and if you're going to betray her, why beat her? The fault…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-mae-brown/why-marry-a-woman-if-you-re-going-to-betray-her-and-if-you-re-going/)

[Rita Mae Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-mae-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/691/rita-mae-brown-1111_beats_why-marry-a-woman-if-you-re-going-to-bet_1211979.png)

> [I think the reason I choose the comic approach so often is because it's harder, therefore affording me the opportunity to show…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-mae-brown/i-think-the-reason-i-choose-the-comic-approach-so-often-is-because-it/)

[Rita Mae Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-mae-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/119/rita-mae-brown-1111_affording_i-think-the-reason-i-choose-the-comic-ap_1622410.png)

> [So much of life is happenstance. It makes me laugh when I go to a bookstore and see all those titles about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-mae-brown/so-much-of-life-is-happenstance-it-makes-me-laugh-when-i-go-to-a/)

[Rita Mae Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-mae-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/021/rita-mae-brown-1111_bladder_so-much-of-life-is-happenstance-it-makes_3214717.png)

> [Language is decanted and shared. If only one person is left alive speaking a language - the case with some American Indian…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-mae-brown/language-is-decanted-and-shared-if-only-one-person-is-left-alive/)

[Rita Mae Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-mae-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/604/rita-mae-brown-1111_alive_language-is-decanted-and-shared-if-only_66803.png)

> [American hunting is quite different from English hunting because we don't hunt to kill. Even if I wanted to kill a fox,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-mae-brown/american-hunting-is-quite-different-from-english-hunting-because-we/)

[Rita Mae Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-mae-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0a3/rita-mae-brown-1111_different_american-hunting-is-quite-different-from_702783.jpg)

> [I'm beginning to feel that the real endangered species on planet earth are not the whales and the elephants but those of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-mae-brown/i-m-beginning-to-feel-that-the-real-endangered-species-on-planet/)

[Rita Mae Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-mae-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f76/rita-mae-brown-1111_capacity_i-m-beginning-to-feel-that-the-real-enda_1190422.jpg)

> [Tragedy massages the human ego even as comedy deflates it. ... Tragedy pits us against large foes and the trip wire is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-mae-brown/tragedy-massages-the-human-ego-even-as-comedy-deflates-it-tragedy/)

[Rita Mae Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-mae-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc7/rita-mae-brown-1111_behavior_tragedy-massages-the-human-ego-even-as-c_897120.jpg)

## Other authors on Ifs

## More by Rita Mae Brown

> [“Friendship distills the sweetness of life.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-mae-brown/friendship-distills-the-sweetness-of-life/)

[Rita Mae Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-mae-brown/)

> [About all you can do in life is be who you are. Some people will love you for you. Most will love you for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-mae-brown/about-all-you-can-do-in-life-is-be-who-you-are-some-people-will-love/)

[Rita Mae Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-mae-brown/)

> [He tried to drown his troubles but they knew how to swim.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-mae-brown/he-tried-to-drown-his-troubles-but-they-knew-how-to-swim/)

[Rita Mae Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-mae-brown/)

> [“The most revolutionary thing you can do is to be yourself, to speak your truth, to open your arms to life including the pain.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-mae-brown/the-most-revolutionary-thing-you-can-do-is-to-be-yourself-to-speak/)

[Rita Mae Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-mae-brown/)

> [Content without style is propaganda or adolescence. Style without content is decadence.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-mae-brown/content-without-style-is-propaganda-or-adolescence-style-without/)

[Rita Mae Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-mae-brown/)

> [Whenever I doubt the existence of God or the Goddess, I look at horses. Only God could have made a horse.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-mae-brown/whenever-i-doubt-the-existence-of-god-or-the-goddess-i-look-at-horses/)

[Rita Mae Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-mae-brown/)

> [Language is decanted and shared. If only one person is left alive speaking a language - the case with some American Indian languages -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-mae-brown/language-is-decanted-and-shared-if-only-one-person-is-left-alive/)

[Rita Mae Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-mae-brown/)

> [“what would happen if she'd open her eyes and see only dark and feel satin from the coffin? That'd scare her enough to kill…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-mae-brown/what-would-happen-if-she-d-open-her-eyes-and-see-only-dark-and-feel/)

[Rita Mae Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-mae-brown/)

> [“You know, it’s hell to work with a cat. They really are smarter than we are. Have you ever gotten anyone to feed you,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-mae-brown/you-know-it-s-hell-to-work-with-a-cat-they-really-are-smarter-than-we/)

[Rita Mae Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-mae-brown/)

> [I don't want to die. I think death is a greatly overrated experience.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-mae-brown/i-don-t-want-to-die-i-think-death-is-a-greatly-overrated-experience/)

[Rita Mae Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-mae-brown/)

> [Leroy bet me I couldn't find a pot of gold at the end, and I told him that was a stupid bet because the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-mae-brown/leroy-bet-me-i-couldn-t-find-a-pot-of-gold-at-the-end-and-i-told-him/)

[Rita Mae Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-mae-brown/)

> [An army of lovers shall not fail.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-mae-brown/an-army-of-lovers-shall-not-fail/)

[Rita Mae Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-mae-brown/)

> [Cats and dogs believe politicians are like cemetery caregivers; they are on top of everyone, but nobody listens.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-mae-brown/cats-and-dogs-believe-politicians-are-like-cemetery-caregivers-they/)

[Rita Mae Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-mae-brown/)

> [Femininity and masculinity are social constructs. Female and male are biological. We don't have to learn to be men or women but we do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-mae-brown/femininity-and-masculinity-are-social-constructs-female-and-male-are/)

[Rita Mae Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-mae-brown/)

> [One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-mae-brown/one-of-the-keys-to-happiness-is-a-bad-memory/)

[Rita Mae Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-mae-brown/)

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                        "text": "Would it upset men if they found out we weren't different? Are we? Aren't we? Damned if I know.",
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                        "text": "Why marry a woman if you're going to betray her, and if you're going to betray her, why beat her? The fault is not hers ... I sometimes think the worst we do, we do behind closed doors.",
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                        "text": "I think the reason I choose the comic approach so often is because it's harder, therefore affording me the opportunity to show off. Also, a comic vision is my natural world view, but I've grown up in spite of myself and I can pass the comic twist if it detracts from what the characters need. Yes, the life of a saint is hard.",
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                        "text": "So much of life is happenstance. It makes me laugh when I go to a bookstore and see all those titles about controlling your life. You're lucky if you can control your bladder.",
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                        "text": "Language is decanted and shared. If only one person is left alive speaking a language - the case with some American Indian languages - the language is dead. Language takes two and their multiples.",
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                        "text": "American hunting is quite different from English hunting because we don't hunt to kill. Even if I wanted to kill a fox, I couldn't. They're too smart and they have too many ways to escape me, whereas they don't in England.",
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                        "text": "I'm beginning to feel that the real endangered species on planet earth are not the whales and the elephants but those of us who can laugh at the world and ourselves. ... I fear the dry turn of the American mind, this focus on the literal, as much as I fear our capacity for self-destruction. We've become hagridden by facts, obsessed with product instead of process. Where's the energetic wit, the looney outlook, the frivolity, the lightness of comforting laughter? It has become fashionable to know and unfashionable to feel, and you can't really laugh if you can't feel.",
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                        "text": "Tragedy massages the human ego even as comedy deflates it. ... Tragedy pits us against large foes and the trip wire is our own character. ... In comedy we fall afoul of one another. Comedy depends on social life, on our behavior in groups. In tragedy you can observe one human against the gods. In comedy it's one human versus other humans and often one man (or woman if I'm writing it) against her own worst impulses.",
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