--- title: "16 Ifs Quotes By P. G. Wodehouse" description: "16 Ifs quotes by P. G. Wodehouse. Plus more from P. G. Wodehouse and more Ifs sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/55e/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_communication_if-it-were-not-for-quotations-conversati_1259101.jpg" --- > [If it were not for quotations, conversations between gentlemen would consist of an endless series of 'what-ho!'s.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/if-it-were-not-for-quotations-conversations-between-gentlemen-would/) [P. G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-g-wodehouse-2/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/55e/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_communication_if-it-were-not-for-quotations-conversati_1259101.jpg) > [If men's minds were like dominoes, surely his would be the double blank.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/if-men-s-minds-were-like-dominoes-surely-his-would-be-the-double-blank/) [P. G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-g-wodehouse-2/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/294/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_blank_if-men-s-minds-were-like-dominoes-surely_30208.jpg) > [Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/golf-like-the-measles-should-be-caught-young-for-if-postponed-to/) [P. G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-g-wodehouse-2/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eff/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_caught_golf-like-the-measles-should-be-caught-y_3035142.jpg) > [I started violently, as if some unseen hand had goosed me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/i-started-violently-as-if-some-unseen-hand-had-goosed-me/) [P. G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-g-wodehouse-2/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2f4/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_hands_i-started-violently-as-if-some-unseen-ha_1733886.jpg) > [She could not have gazed at him with a more rapturous intensity if she had been a small child and he a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/she-could-not-have-gazed-at-him-with-a-more-rapturous-intensity-if/) [P. G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-g-wodehouse-2/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/984/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_children_she-could-not-have-gazed-at-him-with-a-m_1460932.jpg) > [Well, you know what the Fulham Road's like. If your top-hat blows off into it, it has about as much chance as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/well-you-know-what-the-fulham-road-s-like-if-your-top-hat-blows-off/) [P. G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-g-wodehouse-2/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc2/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_blow_well-you-know-what-the-fulham-road-s-lik_2895828.jpg) > [Mr Howard Saxby, literary agent, was knitting a sock. He knitted a good deal, he would tell you if you asked him,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/mr-howard-saxby-literary-agent-was-knitting-a-sock-he-knitted-a-good/) [P. G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-g-wodehouse-2/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f5c/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_agents_mr-howard-saxby-literary-agent-was-knitt_3136312.jpg) > [If you could call the thing a horse. If it hadn't shown a flash of speed in the straight, it would have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/if-you-could-call-the-thing-a-horse-if-it-hadn-t-shown-a-flash-of/) [P. G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-g-wodehouse-2/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9d0/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_flash_if-you-could-call-the-thing-a-horse-if-i_1734967.jpg) > [I may as well tell you, here and now, that if you are going about the place thinking things pretty, you will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/i-may-as-well-tell-you-here-and-now-that-if-you-are-going-about-the/) [P. G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-g-wodehouse-2/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9fb/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_here-and-now_i-may-as-well-tell-you-here-and-now-that_2916157.jpg) > [While not exactly disgruntled, he was far from feeling gruntled. He spoke with a certain what-is-it in his voice, and I could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/while-not-exactly-disgruntled-he-was-far-from-feeling-gruntled-he/) [P. G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-g-wodehouse-2/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/26d/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_certain_while-not-exactly-disgruntled-he-was-far_368522.jpg) > [He was a long, stripy policeman, who flowed out of his uniform at odd spots, as if Nature, setting out to make…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/he-was-a-long-stripy-policeman-who-flowed-out-of-his-uniform-at-odd/) [P. G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-g-wodehouse-2/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a61/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_able_he-was-a-long-stripy-policeman-who-flowe_40405.jpg) > [I've just discovered the secret of golf. You can't play a really hot game unless you're so miserable that you don't worry…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/i-ve-just-discovered-the-secret-of-golf-you-can-t-play-a-really-hot/) [P. G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-g-wodehouse-2/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9d8/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_balls_i-ve-just-discovered-the-secret-of-golf_1802320.jpg) > [Golf acts as a corrective against sinful pride. I attribute the insane arrogance of the later Roman Emperors almost entirely to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/golf-acts-as-a-corrective-against-sinful-pride-i-attribute-the-insane/) [P. G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-g-wodehouse-2/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d40/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_arrogance_golf-acts-as-a-corrective-against-sinful_2039928.jpg) > [I think the success of every novel - if it's a novel of action - depends on the high spots. The thing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/i-think-the-success-of-every-novel-if-it-s-a-novel-of-action-depends/) [P. G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-g-wodehouse-2/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a4/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_action_i-think-the-success-of-every-novel-if-it_2520891.jpg) > [I believe the only way a writer can keep himself up to the mark is by examining each story quite coldly before…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/i-believe-the-only-way-a-writer-can-keep-himself-up-to-the-mark-is-by/) [P. G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-g-wodehouse-2/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c1d/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_asking_i-believe-the-only-way-a-writer-can-keep_1153045.jpg) > [Rugby football is a game I can't claim absolutely to understand in all its niceties, if you know what I mean. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/rugby-football-is-a-game-i-can-t-claim-absolutely-to-understand-in/) [P. G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-g-wodehouse-2/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/829/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_amount_rugby-football-is-a-game-i-can-t-claim-a_722064.jpg) ## Other authors on Ifs ## More by P. G. Wodehouse > [If men's minds were like dominoes, surely his would be the double blank.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/if-men-s-minds-were-like-dominoes-surely-his-would-be-the-double-blank/) [P. G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-g-wodehouse-2/) > [He was a long, stripy policeman, who flowed out of his uniform at odd spots, as if Nature, setting out to make a constable,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/he-was-a-long-stripy-policeman-who-flowed-out-of-his-uniform-at-odd/) [P. G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-g-wodehouse-2/) > [I'm all for rational enjoyment, and so forth, but I think a fellow makes himself conspicuous when he throws soft-boiled eggs at the electric…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/i-m-all-for-rational-enjoyment-and-so-forth-but-i-think-a-fellow/) [P. G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-g-wodehouse-2/) > [“the march of civilisation has given the modern girl a vocabulary and an ability to use it which her grandmother never had”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/the-march-of-civilisation-has-given-the-modern-girl-a-vocabulary-and/) [P. G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-g-wodehouse-2/) > [Alcohol is a misunderstood vitamin.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/alcohol-is-a-misunderstood-vitamin/) [P. G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-g-wodehouse-2/) > [So always look for the silver lining And try to find the sunny side of life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/so-always-look-for-the-silver-lining-and-try-to-find-the-sunny-side/) [P. G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-g-wodehouse-2/) > [Love has had a lot of press-agenting from the oldest times; but there are higher, nobler things than love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/love-has-had-a-lot-of-press-agenting-from-the-oldest-times-but-there/) [P. G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-g-wodehouse-2/) > [Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/golf-is-the-infallible-test-the-man-who-can-go-into-a-patch-of-rough/) [P. G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-g-wodehouse-2/) > [Golf is the Great Mystery.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/golf-is-the-great-mystery/) [P. G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-g-wodehouse-2/) > [Rex Stout's narrative and dialogue could not be improved, and he passes the supreme test of being rereadable. I don't know how many times…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/rex-stout-s-narrative-and-dialogue-could-not-be-improved-and-he/) [P. G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-g-wodehouse-2/) > [“He was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and forgotten to say 'when'!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/he-was-a-tubby-little-chap-who-looked-as-if-he-had-been-poured-into/) [P. G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-g-wodehouse-2/) > [Well, you certainly are the most wonderfully woolly baa-lamb that ever stepped.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/well-you-certainly-are-the-most-wonderfully-woolly-baa-lamb-that-ever/) [P. G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-g-wodehouse-2/) > [Her pupils were at once her salvation and her despair. They gave her the means of supporting life, but they made life hardly worth…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/her-pupils-were-at-once-her-salvation-and-her-despair-they-gave-her/) [P. G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-g-wodehouse-2/) > [The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/the-least-thing-upset-him-on-the-links-he-missed-short-putts-because/) [P. G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-g-wodehouse-2/) > [Some minds are like soup in a poor restaurant—better left unstirred.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/some-minds-are-like-soup-in-a-poor-restaurant-better-left-unstirred/) [P. G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-g-wodehouse-2/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/p-g-wodehouse-2/#itemlist", "name": "16 Ifs Quotes By P. G. Wodehouse", "numberOfItems": 16, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If it were not for quotations, conversations between gentlemen would consist of an endless series of 'what-ho!'s.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "P. G. Wodehouse" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/if-it-were-not-for-quotations-conversations-between-gentlemen-would/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/55e/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_communication_if-it-were-not-for-quotations-conversati_1259101.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/55e/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_communication_if-it-were-not-for-quotations-conversati_1259101.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/55e/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_communication_if-it-were-not-for-quotations-conversati_1259101.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If it were not for quotations, conversations between gentlemen would consist of an endless series of…” — P. G. Wodehouse", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If men's minds were like dominoes, surely his would be the double blank.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "P. G. Wodehouse" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/if-men-s-minds-were-like-dominoes-surely-his-would-be-the-double-blank/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/294/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_blank_if-men-s-minds-were-like-dominoes-surely_30208.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/294/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_blank_if-men-s-minds-were-like-dominoes-surely_30208.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/294/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_blank_if-men-s-minds-were-like-dominoes-surely_30208.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If men's minds were like dominoes, surely his would be the double blank.” — P. G. Wodehouse", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "P. G. Wodehouse" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/golf-like-the-measles-should-be-caught-young-for-if-postponed-to/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eff/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_caught_golf-like-the-measles-should-be-caught-y_3035142.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eff/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_caught_golf-like-the-measles-should-be-caught-y_3035142.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eff/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_caught_golf-like-the-measles-should-be-caught-y_3035142.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious.” — P. G. Wodehouse", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I started violently, as if some unseen hand had goosed me.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "P. G. Wodehouse" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/i-started-violently-as-if-some-unseen-hand-had-goosed-me/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2f4/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_hands_i-started-violently-as-if-some-unseen-ha_1733886.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2f4/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_hands_i-started-violently-as-if-some-unseen-ha_1733886.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2f4/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_hands_i-started-violently-as-if-some-unseen-ha_1733886.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I started violently, as if some unseen hand had goosed me.” — P. G. Wodehouse", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 5, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "She could not have gazed at him with a more rapturous intensity if she had been a small child and he a saucer of ice cream.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "P. G. Wodehouse" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/she-could-not-have-gazed-at-him-with-a-more-rapturous-intensity-if/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/984/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_children_she-could-not-have-gazed-at-him-with-a-m_1460932.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/984/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_children_she-could-not-have-gazed-at-him-with-a-m_1460932.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/984/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_children_she-could-not-have-gazed-at-him-with-a-m_1460932.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“She could not have gazed at him with a more rapturous intensity if she had been a small child and he a…” — P. G. Wodehouse", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 6, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Well, you know what the Fulham Road's like. If your top-hat blows off into it, it has about as much chance as a rabbit at a dogshow.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "P. G. Wodehouse" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/well-you-know-what-the-fulham-road-s-like-if-your-top-hat-blows-off/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc2/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_blow_well-you-know-what-the-fulham-road-s-lik_2895828.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc2/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_blow_well-you-know-what-the-fulham-road-s-lik_2895828.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc2/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_blow_well-you-know-what-the-fulham-road-s-lik_2895828.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Well, you know what the Fulham Road's like. If your top-hat blows off into it, it has about as much chance…” — P. G. Wodehouse", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Mr Howard Saxby, literary agent, was knitting a sock. He knitted a good deal, he would tell you if you asked him, to keep himself from smoking, adding that he also smoked a good deal to keep himself from knitting.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "P. G. Wodehouse" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/mr-howard-saxby-literary-agent-was-knitting-a-sock-he-knitted-a-good/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f5c/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_agents_mr-howard-saxby-literary-agent-was-knitt_3136312.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f5c/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_agents_mr-howard-saxby-literary-agent-was-knitt_3136312.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f5c/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_agents_mr-howard-saxby-literary-agent-was-knitt_3136312.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Mr Howard Saxby, literary agent, was knitting a sock. He knitted a good deal, he would tell you if you asked…” — P. G. Wodehouse", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If you could call the thing a horse. If it hadn't shown a flash of speed in the straight, it would have got mixed up with the next race.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "P. G. Wodehouse" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/if-you-could-call-the-thing-a-horse-if-it-hadn-t-shown-a-flash-of/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9d0/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_flash_if-you-could-call-the-thing-a-horse-if-i_1734967.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9d0/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_flash_if-you-could-call-the-thing-a-horse-if-i_1734967.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9d0/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_flash_if-you-could-call-the-thing-a-horse-if-i_1734967.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If you could call the thing a horse. If it hadn't shown a flash of speed in the straight, it would have got…” — P. G. Wodehouse", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I may as well tell you, here and now, that if you are going about the place thinking things pretty, you will never make a modern poet. Be poignant, man, be poignant!", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "P. G. Wodehouse" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/i-may-as-well-tell-you-here-and-now-that-if-you-are-going-about-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9fb/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_here-and-now_i-may-as-well-tell-you-here-and-now-that_2916157.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9fb/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_here-and-now_i-may-as-well-tell-you-here-and-now-that_2916157.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9fb/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_here-and-now_i-may-as-well-tell-you-here-and-now-that_2916157.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I may as well tell you, here and now, that if you are going about the place thinking things pretty, you will…” — P. G. Wodehouse", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "While not exactly disgruntled, he was far from feeling gruntled. He spoke with a certain what-is-it in his voice, and I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "P. G. Wodehouse" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/while-not-exactly-disgruntled-he-was-far-from-feeling-gruntled-he/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/26d/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_certain_while-not-exactly-disgruntled-he-was-far_368522.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/26d/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_certain_while-not-exactly-disgruntled-he-was-far_368522.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/26d/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_certain_while-not-exactly-disgruntled-he-was-far_368522.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“While not exactly disgruntled, he was far from feeling gruntled. He spoke with a certain what-is-it in his…” — P. G. Wodehouse", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "He was a long, stripy policeman, who flowed out of his uniform at odd spots, as if Nature, setting out to make a constable, had had a good deal of material left over which she had not liked to throw away but hardly seemed able to fit into the general scheme.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "P. G. Wodehouse" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/he-was-a-long-stripy-policeman-who-flowed-out-of-his-uniform-at-odd/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a61/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_able_he-was-a-long-stripy-policeman-who-flowe_40405.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a61/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_able_he-was-a-long-stripy-policeman-who-flowe_40405.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a61/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_able_he-was-a-long-stripy-policeman-who-flowe_40405.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“He was a long, stripy policeman, who flowed out of his uniform at odd spots, as if Nature, setting out to…” — P. G. Wodehouse", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I've just discovered the secret of golf. You can't play a really hot game unless you're so miserable that you don't worry over your shots. Take the case of a chip shot, for instance. If you're really wretched, you don't care where the ball is going and so you don't raise your head to see. Grief automatically prevents pressing and over-swinging. Look at the top-notchers. Have you ever seen a happy pro?", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "P. G. Wodehouse" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/i-ve-just-discovered-the-secret-of-golf-you-can-t-play-a-really-hot/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9d8/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_balls_i-ve-just-discovered-the-secret-of-golf_1802320.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9d8/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_balls_i-ve-just-discovered-the-secret-of-golf_1802320.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9d8/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_balls_i-ve-just-discovered-the-secret-of-golf_1802320.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I've just discovered the secret of golf. You can't play a really hot game unless you're so miserable that…” — P. G. Wodehouse", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 13, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Golf acts as a corrective against sinful pride. I attribute the insane arrogance of the later Roman Emperors almost entirely to the fact that, never having played golf, they never knew that strange chastening humility which is engendered by a topped chip shot. If Cleopatra had been ousted in the first round of the Ladies' Singles, we should have heard a lot less of her proud imperiousness.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "P. G. Wodehouse" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/golf-acts-as-a-corrective-against-sinful-pride-i-attribute-the-insane/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d40/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_arrogance_golf-acts-as-a-corrective-against-sinful_2039928.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d40/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_arrogance_golf-acts-as-a-corrective-against-sinful_2039928.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d40/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_arrogance_golf-acts-as-a-corrective-against-sinful_2039928.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Golf acts as a corrective against sinful pride. I attribute the insane arrogance of the later Roman Emperors…” — P. G. Wodehouse", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 14, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I think the success of every novel - if it's a novel of action - depends on the high spots. The thing to do is to say to yourself, 'Which are my big scenes?' and then get every drop of juice out of them. The principle I always go on in writing a novel is to think of the characters in terms of actors in a play. I say to myself, if a big name were playing this part, and if he found that after a strong first act he had practically nothing to do in the second act, he would walk out. Now, then, can I twist the story so as to give him plenty to do all the way through?", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "P. G. Wodehouse" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/i-think-the-success-of-every-novel-if-it-s-a-novel-of-action-depends/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a4/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_action_i-think-the-success-of-every-novel-if-it_2520891.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a4/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_action_i-think-the-success-of-every-novel-if-it_2520891.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a4/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_action_i-think-the-success-of-every-novel-if-it_2520891.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I think the success of every novel - if it's a novel of action - depends on the high spots. The thing to do…” — P. G. Wodehouse", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 15, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I believe the only way a writer can keep himself up to the mark is by examining each story quite coldly before he starts writing it and asking himself if it is all right as a story. I mean, once you go saying to yourself, 'This is a pretty weak plot as it stands, but I'm such a hell of a writer that my magic touch will make it okay,' you're sunk. If they aren't in interesting situations, characters can't be major characters, not even if you have the rest of the troop talk their heads off about them.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "P. G. Wodehouse" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/i-believe-the-only-way-a-writer-can-keep-himself-up-to-the-mark-is-by/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c1d/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_asking_i-believe-the-only-way-a-writer-can-keep_1153045.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c1d/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_asking_i-believe-the-only-way-a-writer-can-keep_1153045.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c1d/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_asking_i-believe-the-only-way-a-writer-can-keep_1153045.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I believe the only way a writer can keep himself up to the mark is by examining each story quite coldly…” — P. G. Wodehouse", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 16, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Rugby football is a game I can't claim absolutely to understand in all its niceties, if you know what I mean. I can follow the broad, general principles, of course. I mean to say, I know that the main scheme is to work the ball down the field somehow and deposit it over the line at the other end and that, in order to squalch this programme, each side is allowed to put in a certain amount of assault and battery and do things to its fellow man which, if done elsewhere, would result in 14 days without the option, coupled with some strong remarks from the Bench.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "P. G. Wodehouse" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse-2/rugby-football-is-a-game-i-can-t-claim-absolutely-to-understand-in/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/829/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_amount_rugby-football-is-a-game-i-can-t-claim-a_722064.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/829/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_amount_rugby-football-is-a-game-i-can-t-claim-a_722064.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/829/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_amount_rugby-football-is-a-game-i-can-t-claim-a_722064.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Rugby football is a game I can't claim absolutely to understand in all its niceties, if you know what I…” — P. G. Wodehouse", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/p-g-wodehouse-2/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/p-g-wodehouse-2/", "name": "Ifs Quotes by P. G. Wodehouse", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/p-g-wodehouse-2/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/55e/p-g-wodehouse-2-2515_communication_if-it-were-not-for-quotations-conversati_1259101.jpg" }, "description": "16 Ifs quotes by P. G. Wodehouse. Plus more from P. G. Wodehouse and more Ifs sayings from other authors.", "breadcrumb": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/p-g-wodehouse-2/#breadcrumb" } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/p-g-wodehouse-2/#breadcrumb", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Topics", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/categories/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "Ifs", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 5, "name": "P. G. Wodehouse", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/p-g-wodehouse-2/" } ] }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```