---
title: "23 Ifs Quotes By Nora Ephron"
description: "23 Ifs quotes by Nora Ephron. Plus more from Nora Ephron and more Ifs sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/67b/nora-ephron-1217_food_eat-every-meal-as-if-it-s-your-last-when_2552454.jpg"
---

> [Eat every meal as if it's your last; when the last one comes, you probably won't be very hungry.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/eat-every-meal-as-if-it-s-your-last-when-the-last-one-comes-you/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/67b/nora-ephron-1217_food_eat-every-meal-as-if-it-s-your-last-when_2552454.jpg)

> [If you're looking for monogamy, you'd better marry a swan.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/if-you-re-looking-for-monogamy-you-d-better-marry-a-swan/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dfd/nora-ephron-1217_ifs_if-you-re-looking-for-monogamy-you-d-bet_1866403.jpg)

> [Believe me, if I looked good, it's not an accident.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/believe-me-if-i-looked-good-it-s-not-an-accident/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ff/nora-ephron-1217_accidents_believe-me-if-i-looked-good-it-s-not-an_2414691.jpg)

> [You can't call yourself a feminist if you don't believe in the right to abortion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/you-can-t-call-yourself-a-feminist-if-you-don-t-believe-in-the-right/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0de/nora-ephron-1217_abortion_you-can-t-call-yourself-a-feminist-if-yo_89046.jpg)

> [If Sigmund Freud had watched Phil Donahue he would never have wondered what women want.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/if-sigmund-freud-had-watched-phil-donahue-he-would-never-have/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/614/nora-ephron-1217_freud_if-sigmund-freud-had-watched-phil-donahu_663217.jpg)

> [You can never have too much butter – that is my belief. If I have a religion, that's it,](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/you-can-never-have-too-much-butter-that-is-my-belief-if-i-have-a/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8af/nora-ephron-1217_belief_you-can-never-have-too-much-butter-that_2408606.jpg)

> [I think if you're lucky enough to find a voice in whatever you do, that voice will come sneaking out no matter…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/i-think-if-you-re-lucky-enough-to-find-a-voice-in-whatever-you-do/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/efe/nora-ephron-1217_enough_i-think-if-you-re-lucky-enough-to-find-a_2907015.jpg)

> [If your husband is cheating on you with a carhop, get Meryl Streep to play you. You'll feel much better.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/if-your-husband-is-cheating-on-you-with-a-carhop-get-meryl-streep-to/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a11/nora-ephron-1217_cheating_if-your-husband-is-cheating-on-you-with_860950.jpg)

> [What I love about cooking is that after a hard day, there is something comforting about the fact that if you melt…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/what-i-love-about-cooking-is-that-after-a-hard-day-there-is-something-2/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b3a/nora-ephron-1217_add_what-i-love-about-cooking-is-that-after_1603807.jpg)

> [The only way to learn is to keep doing something new, and, if you're lucky, learning with people who really know how…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/the-only-way-to-learn-is-to-keep-doing-something-new-and-if-you-re/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3b2/nora-ephron-1217_education_the-only-way-to-learn-is-to-keep-doing-s_289704.jpg)

> [It's so interesting that we think we know the rules to this game, this total hypothetical game called, "Would you," "If you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/it-s-so-interesting-that-we-think-we-know-the-rules-to-this-game-this/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6f6/nora-ephron-1217_games_it-s-so-interesting-that-we-think-we-kno_2165057.jpg)

> [Why do people write books that say it's better to be older than to be younger? It's not better. Even if you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/why-do-people-write-books-that-say-it-s-better-to-be-older-than-to-be/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/90b/nora-ephron-1217_age_why-do-people-write-books-that-say-it-s_2839929.jpg)

> [I think you often have that sense when you write--that if you can spot something in yourself and set it down on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/i-think-you-often-have-that-sense-when-you-write-that-if-you-can-spot/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8a6/nora-ephron-1217_courses_i-think-you-often-have-that-sense-when-y_270668.jpg)

> [ You can blame Al Gore and you can blame Ralph Nader and you can blame George Bush, but I blame Bill \[Clinton\].… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/you-can-blame-al-gore-and-you-can-blame-ralph-nader-and-you-can-blame/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/14b/nora-ephron-1217_alive_you-can-blame-al-gore-and-you-can-blame_2756979.jpg)

> [If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters. The beginning is glorious, especially if you're lucky enough not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/if-pregnancy-were-a-book-they-would-cut-the-last-two-chapters-the/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/86f/nora-ephron-1217_birth_if-pregnancy-were-a-book-they-would-cut_626457.jpg)

> [ \[On George W. Bush:\] How is it possible that the president is off on vacation and the vice president is, too? Not… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/on-george-w-bush-how-is-it-possible-that-the-president-is-off-on/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2d5/nora-ephron-1217_george-w_on-george-w-bush-how-is-it-possible-that_2290262.jpg)

> [If there is a Nora Ephron signature anything it is that there's slightly too much food. I have a friend whose mantra…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/if-there-is-a-nora-ephron-signature-anything-it-is-that-there-s/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fbd/nora-ephron-1217_believe_if-there-is-a-nora-ephron-signature-anyt_2740375.jpg)

> [One of the things people always say to you if you get upset is, don't take it personally, but listen hard to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/one-of-the-things-people-always-say-to-you-if-you-get-upset-is-don-t/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3d7/nora-ephron-1217_clinton_one-of-the-things-people-always-say-to-y_799802.jpg)

> [I'm not one of those people who think you should go grey and that there is some virtue in looking wrinkly if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/i-m-not-one-of-those-people-who-think-you-should-go-grey-and-that/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/548/nora-ephron-1217_caution_i-m-not-one-of-those-people-who-think-yo_1481353.jpg)

> [The Washington press corps thinks that Julie Nixon Eisenhower is the only member of the Nixon Administration who has any credibility--and, as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/the-washington-press-corps-thinks-that-julie-nixon-eisenhower-is-the/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/765/nora-ephron-1217_administration_the-washington-press-corps-thinks-that-j_2548644.jpg)

> [You do get to a certain point in life where you have to realistically, I think, understand that the days are getting…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/you-do-get-to-a-certain-point-in-life-where-you-have-to-realistically/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/136/nora-ephron-1217_believer_you-do-get-to-a-certain-point-in-life-wh_1950424.jpg)

> [Most directors, I discovered, need to be convinced that the screenplay they're going to direct has something to do with them. And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/most-directors-i-discovered-need-to-be-convinced-that-the-screenplay/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/42f/nora-ephron-1217_boys_most-directors-i-discovered-need-to-be-c_1011950.jpg)

> [We weren't meant to have futures, we were meant to marry them. We weren't meant to have politics, or careers that mattered,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/we-weren-t-meant-to-have-futures-we-were-meant-to-marry-them-we-weren/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6cd/nora-ephron-1217_architect_we-weren-t-meant-to-have-futures-we-were_2407600.jpg)

## Other authors on Ifs

## More by Nora Ephron

> [ “\[S\]ometimes, when you are a food person, the possible irrelevance of what you are doing doesn’t cross your mind until it’s too late. (Once,… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/s-ometimes-when-you-are-a-food-person-the-possible-irrelevance-of/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

> [“That's the catch about betrayal, of course: that it feels good, that there's something immensely pleasurable about moving from a complicated relationship which involves…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/that-s-the-catch-about-betrayal-of-course-that-it-feels-good-that/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

> [“The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/the-whole-purpose-of-places-like-starbucks-is-for-people-with-no/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

> [Death is a sniper. It strikes people you love, people you like, people you know - it's everywhere. You could be next. But then…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/death-is-a-sniper-it-strikes-people-you-love-people-you-like-people/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

> ['When you slip on a banana peel, people laugh at you. When you tell people you slipped on a banana peel, it's your laugh.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/when-you-slip-on-a-banana-peel-people-laugh-at-you-when-you-tell/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

> [“I wish he were better at hailing taxis than I am; on the other hand, I realize that expectation is culturally conditioned, utterly foolish,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/i-wish-he-were-better-at-hailing-taxis-than-i-am-on-the-other-hand-i/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

> [You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/you-enter-into-a-certain-amount-of-madness-when-you-marry-a-person/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

> [I never went near the Wellesley College chapel in my four years there, but I am still amazed at the amount of Christian charity…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/i-never-went-near-the-wellesley-college-chapel-in-my-four-years-there/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

> [You can't call yourself a feminist if you don't believe in the right to abortion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/you-can-t-call-yourself-a-feminist-if-you-don-t-believe-in-the-right/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

> [“I always read the last page of a book first so that if I die before I finish I'll know how it turned out.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/i-always-read-the-last-page-of-a-book-first-so-that-if-i-die-before-i/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

> [“If I was home alone at night, I cooked myself an entire meal from one of these cookbooks. Then I sat down in front…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/if-i-was-home-alone-at-night-i-cooked-myself-an-entire-meal-from-one/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

> [“The next man I was involved with lived in Boston. He taught me to cook mushrooms. He taught me that if you heat the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/the-next-man-i-was-involved-with-lived-in-boston-he-taught-me-to-cook/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

> [“Whatever you choose, however many roads you travel, I hope that you choose not to be a lady. I hope you will find some…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/whatever-you-choose-however-many-roads-you-travel-i-hope-that-you/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

> [A man who finishes a book is always alone when he finishes it...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/a-man-who-finishes-a-book-is-always-alone-when-he-finishes-it/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

> [“I hear myself saying these words: What this movement is about is options. I say it to friends who are frustrated, or housebound, or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/i-hear-myself-saying-these-words-what-this-movement-is-about-is/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

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                        "text": "You can blame Al Gore and you can blame Ralph Nader and you can blame George Bush, but I blame Bill [Clinton]. I just do. I just think he squandered his presidency the night that woman delivered that pizza to him, and if he hadn't, we wouldn't be where we are and there would be a lot of people who are alive today who aren't.",
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                        "text": "If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters. The beginning is glorious, especially if you're lucky enough not to have morning sickness and if, like me, you've had small breasts all your life. Suddenly they begin to grow, and you've got them, you've really got them, breasts, darling breasts, and when you walk down the street they bounce, truly they do, they bounce bounce bounce.",
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                        "text": "I'm not one of those people who think you should go grey and that there is some virtue in looking wrinkly if you don't feel like it. If you do, great. If you don't, just my only caution is watch out. There are a huge number of wrinkle creams that do nothing for you.",
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                        "text": "The Washington press corps thinks that Julie Nixon Eisenhower is the only member of the Nixon Administration who has any credibility--and, as one journalist put it, this is not to say that anyone believes what she is saying but simply that people believe she believes what she is sayingit is almost as if she is the only woman in America over the age of twenty who still thinks her father is exactly what she thought he was when she was six.",
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                        "text": "You do get to a certain point in life where you have to realistically, I think, understand that the days are getting shorter, and you can't put things off thinking you'll get to them someday. If you really want to do them, you better do them. There are simply too many people getting sick, and sooner or later you will. So I'm very much a believer in knowing what it is that you love doing so you can do a great deal of it.",
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                        "text": "Most directors, I discovered, need to be convinced that the screenplay they're going to direct has something to do with them. And this is a tricky thing if you write screenplays where women have parts that are equal to or greater than the male part. And I thought, 'Why am I out there looking for directors?'—because you look at a list of directors, it's all boys. It certainly was when I started as a screenwriter. So I thought, 'I'm just gonna become a director and that'll make it easier.'",
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                        "text": "We weren't meant to have futures, we were meant to marry them. We weren't meant to have politics, or careers that mattered, or opinions, or lives; we were meant to marry them. If you wanted to be an architect, you married an architect.",
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