--- title: "18 Ifs Quotes By Larry Wall" description: "18 Ifs quotes by Larry Wall. Plus more from Larry Wall and more Ifs sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8f8/larry-wall-1576_enough_if-you-write-something-wrong-enough-i-ll_304370.png" --- > [If you write something wrong enough, I'll be glad to make up a new witticism just for you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-wall/if-you-write-something-wrong-enough-i-ll-be-glad-to-make-up-a-new/) [Larry Wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-wall/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8f8/larry-wall-1576_enough_if-you-write-something-wrong-enough-i-ll_304370.png) > [If someone stinks, view it as a reason to help them, not a reason to avoid them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-wall/if-someone-stinks-view-it-as-a-reason-to-help-them-not-a-reason-to/) [Larry Wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-wall/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f4f/larry-wall-1576_helping_if-someone-stinks-view-it-as-a-reason-to_2488670.png) > [If you and I always agree, then one of us is redundant.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-wall/if-you-and-i-always-agree-then-one-of-us-is-redundant/) [Larry Wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-wall/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/78e/larry-wall-1576_agree_if-you-and-i-always-agree-then-one-of-us_1889287.png) > [If you want your program to be readable, consider supplying the argument.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-wall/if-you-want-your-program-to-be-readable-consider-supplying-the/) [Larry Wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-wall/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ae/larry-wall-1576_argument_if-you-want-your-program-to-be-readable_2668105.png) > [ If you're going to define a shortcut, then make it the base \[sic\] darn shortcut you can. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-wall/if-you-re-going-to-define-a-shortcut-then-make-it-the-base-sic-darn/) [Larry Wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-wall/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/074/larry-wall-1576_ifs_if-you-re-going-to-define-a-shortcut-the_2640139.png) > [I'd make people say 'use Fork;' if I thought I could get away with it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-wall/i-d-make-people-say-use-fork-if-i-thought-i-could-get-away-with-it/) [Larry Wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-wall/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ec1/larry-wall-1576_fork_i-d-make-people-say-use-fork-if-i-though_3158146.png) > [A Perl program is correct if it gets the job done before your boss fires you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-wall/a-perl-program-is-correct-if-it-gets-the-job-done-before-your-boss/) [Larry Wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-wall/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f57/larry-wall-1576_boss_a-perl-program-is-correct-if-it-gets-the_1741692.png) > [The way I see it, if you declare something portable, you'll always be wrong, and if you declare it non-portable, you'll always…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-wall/the-way-i-see-it-if-you-declare-something-portable-you-ll-always-be/) [Larry Wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-wall/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c90/larry-wall-1576_funny_the-way-i-see-it-if-you-declare-somethin_502660.png) > [If you consistently take an antagonistic approach, however, people are going to start thinking you're from New York.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-wall/if-you-consistently-take-an-antagonistic-approach-however-people-are/) [Larry Wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-wall/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0fd/larry-wall-1576_antagonistic_if-you-consistently-take-an-antagonistic_1401050.png) > [ The only reason \[not to use\] perl is that some sysadmins don't allow software that they didn't pay for. By all means,… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-wall/the-only-reason-not-to-use-perl-is-that-some-sysadmins-don-t-allow/) [Larry Wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-wall/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/94d/larry-wall-1576_computer_the-only-reason-not-to-use-perl-is-that_1960313.jpg) > [Well, coffee is my drug of choice, generally, with a little bit of Pepsi here and there, if I need more sugar.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-wall/well-coffee-is-my-drug-of-choice-generally-with-a-little-bit-of-pepsi/) [Larry Wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-wall/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a7e/larry-wall-1576_bits_well-coffee-is-my-drug-of-choice-general_3111694.png) > [It's appositival, if it's there. And it doesn't have to be there. And it's really obvious that it's there when it's there.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-wall/it-s-appositival-if-it-s-there-and-it-doesn-t-have-to-be-there-and-it/) [Larry Wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-wall/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/551/larry-wall-1576_funny_it-s-appositival-if-it-s-there-and-it-do_942838.png) > [Even if you aren't in doubt, consider the mental welfare of the person who has to maintain the code after you, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-wall/even-if-you-aren-t-in-doubt-consider-the-mental-welfare-of-the-person/) [Larry Wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-wall/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7a0/larry-wall-1576_code_even-if-you-aren-t-in-doubt-consider-the_2587985.jpg) > [And besides, if Perl really takes off in the Windows space, I think the rest of us would just as soon have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-wall/and-besides-if-perl-really-takes-off-in-the-windows-space-i-think-the/) [Larry Wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-wall/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ceb/larry-wall-1576_agents_and-besides-if-perl-really-takes-off-in_83107.png) > [I was raised a musician and I played classic music, violin, in orchestras and music comedy theaters, I have music running around…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-wall/i-was-raised-a-musician-and-i-played-classic-music-violin-in/) [Larry Wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-wall/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/015/larry-wall-1576_attention_i-was-raised-a-musician-and-i-played-cla_429311.png) > [A lazy person will try to always find some way to do something; they'll always be looking for ways of doing something…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-wall/a-lazy-person-will-try-to-always-find-some-way-to-do-something-they/) [Larry Wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-wall/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/933/larry-wall-1576_efficiently_a-lazy-person-will-try-to-always-find-so_1406959.png) > [I'm not too concerned about the future of Perl after me, because I see how these people are interacting with each other…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-wall/i-m-not-too-concerned-about-the-future-of-perl-after-me-because-i-see/) [Larry Wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-wall/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/33a/larry-wall-1576_concerned_i-m-not-too-concerned-about-the-future-o_2846045.png) > [Computer programming is really a lot like writing a recipe. If you've read a recipe, you know what the structure of a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-wall/computer-programming-is-really-a-lot-like-writing-a-recipe-if-you-ve/) [Larry Wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-wall/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ea3/larry-wall-1576_computer_computer-programming-is-really-a-lot-lik_2037569.png) ## Other authors on Ifs ## More by Larry Wall > [Not that I have anything much against redundancy. But I said that already.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-wall/not-that-i-have-anything-much-against-redundancy-but-i-said-that/) [Larry Wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-wall/) > [Perhaps you should compile your Perl with long doubles one of these megaseconds.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-wall/perhaps-you-should-compile-your-perl-with-long-doubles-one-of-these/) [Larry Wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-wall/) > [Take Lisp, you know its the most beautiful language in the world -- at least up until Haskell came along.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-wall/take-lisp-you-know-its-the-most-beautiful-language-in-the-world-at/) [Larry Wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-wall/) > [I'm reminded of the day my daughter came in, looked over my shoulder at some Perl 4 code, and said, 'What is that, swearing?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-wall/i-m-reminded-of-the-day-my-daughter-came-in-looked-over-my-shoulder/) [Larry Wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-wall/) > [Yes, but I did manage to increase the amount of virginity in the world by that method.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-wall/yes-but-i-did-manage-to-increase-the-amount-of-virginity-in-the-world/) [Larry Wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-wall/) > [I won't mention any names, because I don't want to get sun4's into trouble.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-wall/i-won-t-mention-any-names-because-i-don-t-want-to-get-sun4-s-into/) [Larry Wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-wall/) > [And besides, if Perl really takes off in the Windows space, I think the rest of us would just as soon have a double-agent…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-wall/and-besides-if-perl-really-takes-off-in-the-windows-space-i-think-the/) [Larry Wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-wall/) > [In general, they do what you want, unless you want consistency.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-wall/in-general-they-do-what-you-want-unless-you-want-consistency/) [Larry Wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-wall/) > [I suppose you could switch grammars once you've seen 'use strict subs'.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-wall/i-suppose-you-could-switch-grammars-once-you-ve-seen-use-strict-subs/) [Larry Wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-wall/) > [While I have historically been a late worker, you know, sometimes I even like to get up early and see what's happened in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-wall/while-i-have-historically-been-a-late-worker-you-know-sometimes-i/) [Larry Wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-wall/) > [All language designers are arrogant. Goes with the territory...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-wall/all-language-designers-are-arrogant-goes-with-the-territory/) [Larry Wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-wall/) > [Perl has a long tradition of working around compilers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-wall/perl-has-a-long-tradition-of-working-around-compilers/) [Larry Wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-wall/) > [Part of language design is perturbing the proposed feature in various directions to see how it might generalize in the future.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-wall/part-of-language-design-is-perturbing-the-proposed-feature-in-various/) [Larry Wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-wall/) > [We can debug relationships, but it's always good policy to consider the people themselves to be features. People get annoyed when you try to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-wall/we-can-debug-relationships-but-it-s-always-good-policy-to-consider/) [Larry Wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-wall/) > [The whole intent of Perl 5's module system was to encourage the growth of Perl culture rather than the Perl core.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-wall/the-whole-intent-of-perl-5-s-module-system-was-to-encourage-the/) [Larry Wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-wall/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/larry-wall/#itemlist", "name": "18 Ifs Quotes By Larry Wall", "numberOfItems": 18, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If you write something wrong enough, I'll be glad to make up a new witticism just for you.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Larry Wall" }, "url": 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from New York.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Larry Wall" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-wall/if-you-consistently-take-an-antagonistic-approach-however-people-are/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0fd/larry-wall-1576_antagonistic_if-you-consistently-take-an-antagonistic_1401050.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0fd/larry-wall-1576_antagonistic_if-you-consistently-take-an-antagonistic_1401050.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0fd/larry-wall-1576_antagonistic_if-you-consistently-take-an-antagonistic_1401050.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If you consistently take an antagonistic approach, however, people are going to start thinking you're from…” — Larry Wall", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The only reason [not to use] perl is that some sysadmins don't allow software that they didn't pay for. 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