---
title: "16 Ifs Quotes By Jonah Goldberg"
description: "16 Ifs quotes by Jonah Goldberg. Plus more from Jonah Goldberg and more Ifs sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/741/jonah-goldberg-2339_hug_simply-because-the-nanny-state-wants-to_1965493.png"
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> [Simply because the nanny-state wants to hug you doesn't mean it's not tyrannical if you don't want to be hugged.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonah-goldberg/simply-because-the-nanny-state-wants-to-hug-you-doesn-t-mean-it-s-not/)

[Jonah Goldberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonah-goldberg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/741/jonah-goldberg-2339_hug_simply-because-the-nanny-state-wants-to_1965493.png)

> [Liberals are Nazis, and Nazis are liberals. And if you don't agree with me, you're a Nazi too.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonah-goldberg/liberals-are-nazis-and-nazis-are-liberals-and-if-you-don-t-agree-with/)

[Jonah Goldberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonah-goldberg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/67d/jonah-goldberg-2339_agree_liberals-are-nazis-and-nazis-are-liberal_91200.png)

> [I like vengeance as much as the next guy, if the next guy likes vengeance a whole lot.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonah-goldberg/i-like-vengeance-as-much-as-the-next-guy-if-the-next-guy-likes/)

[Jonah Goldberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonah-goldberg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/494/jonah-goldberg-2339_guy_i-like-vengeance-as-much-as-the-next-guy_2820265.png)

> [If you're uncertain when life begins, why not give the unborn the benefit of the doubt and oppose abortion?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonah-goldberg/if-you-re-uncertain-when-life-begins-why-not-give-the-unborn-the/)

[Jonah Goldberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonah-goldberg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/09e/jonah-goldberg-2339_abortion_if-you-re-uncertain-when-life-begins-why_1496963.png)

> [If you write for the critics, only the critics will read you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonah-goldberg/if-you-write-for-the-critics-only-the-critics-will-read-you/)

[Jonah Goldberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonah-goldberg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ad3/jonah-goldberg-2339_books_if-you-write-for-the-critics-only-the-cr_1775545.png)

> [Keep Hope alive, particularly if Hope is the name of a very cute puppy and not some ill-defined abstraction that is in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonah-goldberg/keep-hope-alive-particularly-if-hope-is-the-name-of-a-very-cute-puppy/)

[Jonah Goldberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonah-goldberg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/53d/jonah-goldberg-2339_abstraction_keep-hope-alive-particularly-if-hope-is_851925.png)

> [Despite what you may have been taught about Indians or Africans or ancient Celts, poor people are terrible stewards of their environment.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonah-goldberg/despite-what-you-may-have-been-taught-about-indians-or-africans-or/)

[Jonah Goldberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonah-goldberg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1cc/jonah-goldberg-2339_ancient_despite-what-you-may-have-been-taught-ab_2525779.png)

> [You can see why the Marxist left would resist the idea that Hitler was a revolutionary. Because if he was, then either…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonah-goldberg/you-can-see-why-the-marxist-left-would-resist-the-idea-that-hitler/)

[Jonah Goldberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonah-goldberg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ee/jonah-goldberg-2339_fascism_you-can-see-why-the-marxist-left-would-r_1496424.jpg)

> [Are you a producer or a looter? If diversity were always and everywhere good we would be clamoring for more midgets in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonah-goldberg/are-you-a-producer-or-a-looter-if-diversity-were-always-and/)

[Jonah Goldberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonah-goldberg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ebb/jonah-goldberg-2339_diversity_are-you-a-producer-or-a-looter-if-divers_23566.png)

> [(J)ust to clarify: If you go into every situation saying there's absolutely nothing worth fighting over, you will inevitably end up on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonah-goldberg/j-ust-to-clarify-if-you-go-into-every-situation-saying-there-s/)

[Jonah Goldberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonah-goldberg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e62/jonah-goldberg-2339_absolutely-nothing_j-ust-to-clarify-if-you-go-into-every-si_2291670.jpg)

> [ Those who say \[Joseph\] Padilla should get a civilian trial are essentially saying that if you reject the rules of civilized nations,… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonah-goldberg/those-who-say-joseph-padilla-should-get-a-civilian-trial-are/)

[Jonah Goldberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonah-goldberg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c8/jonah-goldberg-2339_civilian_those-who-say-joseph-padilla-should-get_1884693.jpg)

> [The Founders understood that democracy was important, but if you didn't filter it through a republican system you'd be just as likely…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonah-goldberg/the-founders-understood-that-democracy-was-important-but-if-you-didn/)

[Jonah Goldberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonah-goldberg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/120/jonah-goldberg-2339_democracy_the-founders-understood-that-democracy-w_1142295.png)

> [The logical upshot of liberalism's hatred of hypocrisy is that it is better for the liar to champion lying, the glutton to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonah-goldberg/the-logical-upshot-of-liberalism-s-hatred-of-hypocrisy-is-that-it-is/)

[Jonah Goldberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonah-goldberg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b67/jonah-goldberg-2339_adultery_the-logical-upshot-of-liberalism-s-hatre_294029.png)

> [(I)f France's righteous bloviating against war makes them your Dashboard Saint of International Integrity, it's either because you are sand-poundingly ignorant of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonah-goldberg/i-f-france-s-righteous-bloviating-against-war-makes-them-your/)

[Jonah Goldberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonah-goldberg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3c0/jonah-goldberg-2339_against-war_i-f-france-s-righteous-bloviating-agains_180260.jpg)

> [If you’re too stupid to understand that a philosophy that favors a federally structured republic, with numerous restraints on the scope and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonah-goldberg/if-you-re-too-stupid-to-understand-that-a-philosophy-that-favors-a/)

[Jonah Goldberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonah-goldberg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/000/jonah-goldberg-2339_advocating_if-you-re-too-stupid-to-understand-that_2856749.jpg)

> [Hypocrisy is bad, but it's not the worst vice in the world. If I declared “murder is wrong” and then killed somebody,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonah-goldberg/hypocrisy-is-bad-but-it-s-not-the-worst-vice-in-the-world-if-i/)

[Jonah Goldberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonah-goldberg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee6/jonah-goldberg-2339_be-true-to-yourself_hypocrisy-is-bad-but-it-s-not-the-worst_1746104.png)

## Other authors on Ifs

## More by Jonah Goldberg

> [Not reassuring when weathermen say 'Today will be terrible but don't worry it won't be as terrible as tomorrow or Friday.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonah-goldberg/not-reassuring-when-weathermen-say-today-will-be-terrible-but-don-t/)

[Jonah Goldberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonah-goldberg/)

> [Are you a producer or a looter? If diversity were always and everywhere good we would be clamoring for more midgets in the NBA.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonah-goldberg/are-you-a-producer-or-a-looter-if-diversity-were-always-and/)

[Jonah Goldberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonah-goldberg/)

> [You can make a very good argument that society would be much worse off if you let 10 rapists and murderers free rather than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonah-goldberg/you-can-make-a-very-good-argument-that-society-would-be-much-worse/)

[Jonah Goldberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonah-goldberg/)

> [“The nasty racism that infused the progressive eugenics of Margaret Sanger and others has largely melted away. But liberal fascists are still racist in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonah-goldberg/the-nasty-racism-that-infused-the-progressive-eugenics-of-margaret/)

[Jonah Goldberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonah-goldberg/)

> [Liberals are Nazis, and Nazis are liberals. And if you don't agree with me, you're a Nazi too.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonah-goldberg/liberals-are-nazis-and-nazis-are-liberals-and-if-you-don-t-agree-with/)

[Jonah Goldberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonah-goldberg/)

> [I have always seen the Clinton Foundation - yes, they do a lot of charitable good works. But by my lights, the charitable good…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonah-goldberg/i-have-always-seen-the-clinton-foundation-yes-they-do-a-lot-of/)

[Jonah Goldberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonah-goldberg/)

> [(I)f France's righteous bloviating against war makes them your Dashboard Saint of International Integrity, it's either because you are sand-poundingly ignorant of how the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonah-goldberg/i-f-france-s-righteous-bloviating-against-war-makes-them-your/)

[Jonah Goldberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonah-goldberg/)

> [(I)t is simply wrong to confuse cowardice with appeasement. Cowardice is a failing of character. Appeasement is a failure of policy. Stalin appeased Hitler…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonah-goldberg/i-t-is-simply-wrong-to-confuse-cowardice-with-appeasement-cowardice/)

[Jonah Goldberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonah-goldberg/)

> [Social distinctions tend to matter only at your own level and above.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonah-goldberg/social-distinctions-tend-to-matter-only-at-your-own-level-and-above/)

[Jonah Goldberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonah-goldberg/)

> [The logical upshot of liberalism's hatred of hypocrisy is that it is better for the liar to champion lying, the glutton to advocate gluttony,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonah-goldberg/the-logical-upshot-of-liberalism-s-hatred-of-hypocrisy-is-that-it-is/)

[Jonah Goldberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonah-goldberg/)

> [“No nation influenced American thinking more profoundly than Germany, W.E.B. DuBois, Charles Beard, Walter Weyl, Richard Ely, Richard Ely, Nicholas Murray Butler, and countless…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonah-goldberg/no-nation-influenced-american-thinking-more-profoundly-than-germany-w/)

[Jonah Goldberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonah-goldberg/)

> [In Europe and America alike, voters increasingly recognize that the benefits of the green revolution aren't worth the costs, particularly when the revolutionaries don't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonah-goldberg/in-europe-and-america-alike-voters-increasingly-recognize-that-the/)

[Jonah Goldberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonah-goldberg/)

> [“Tom Friedman says China is so awesome they make kosher pigs.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonah-goldberg/tom-friedman-says-china-is-so-awesome-they-make-kosher-pigs/)

[Jonah Goldberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonah-goldberg/)

> [Facts are mere speed bumps on the road to lefty moral outrage.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonah-goldberg/facts-are-mere-speed-bumps-on-the-road-to-lefty-moral-outrage/)

[Jonah Goldberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonah-goldberg/)

> [There was no intellectual movement in American history called social Darwinism. The people who were supposedly the leaders of the social Darwinist movement never…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonah-goldberg/there-was-no-intellectual-movement-in-american-history-called-social/)

[Jonah Goldberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonah-goldberg/)

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                        "text": "Despite what you may have been taught about Indians or Africans or ancient Celts, poor people are terrible stewards of their environment. For instance, if my kid were starving to death, I would happily feed her fresh panda.",
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                        "text": "Are you a producer or a looter? If diversity were always and everywhere good we would be clamoring for more midgets in the NBA.",
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                        "text": "(J)ust to clarify: If you go into every situation saying there's absolutely nothing worth fighting over, you will inevitably end up on a cot sleeping next to a guy named Tiny, bringing him breakfast in his cell every morning, and spending your afternoons ironing his boxers. Or, in the case of the French, you might spend your afternoon rounding up Jews to send to Germany, but you get the point.",
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                        "text": "Those who say [Joseph] Padilla should get a civilian trial are essentially saying that if you reject the rules of civilized nations, like those inscribed in the Geneva Convention, you therefore deserve to be treated better, not worse, than those rules require.",
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                        "text": "The Founders understood that democracy was important, but if you didn't filter it through a republican system you'd be just as likely to end up with a tyranny of the majority as you would with a healthy society. Don't worry, I won't quote the Federalist Papers, but trust me, it's in there.",
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                        "text": "The logical upshot of liberalism's hatred of hypocrisy is that it is better for the liar to champion lying, the glutton to advocate gluttony, the adulterer to celebrate adultery, than for someone to preach the right thing if he himself occasionally does the wrong thing. Better to let your failings define you and be happy about it, than to let your ideals define you but then fall short of them, for that opens you up to the charge of hypocrisy.",
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                        "text": "(I)f France's righteous bloviating against war makes them your Dashboard Saint of International Integrity, it's either because you are sand-poundingly ignorant of how the world works or it's because you think France's self-interest is more important than America's. If the former applies to you, read a book. If it's the latter, maybe you should move there along with Alec Baldwin, Robert Altman, and the rest of the crowd who promised to leave a long time ago. But whatever you do, don't call France's position principled, because that just insults us both.",
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                        "text": "If you’re too stupid to understand that a philosophy that favors a federally structured republic, with numerous restraints on the scope and power of government to interfere with individual rights or the free market, is a lot different from an ethnic-nationalist, atheistic, and socialist program of genocide and international aggression, you should use this rule of thumb: If someone isn’t advocating the murder of millions of people in gas chambers and a global Reich for the White Man you shouldn’t assume he’s a Nazi and you should know it’s pretty damn evil to call him one.",
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                        "text": "Hypocrisy is bad, but it's not the worst vice in the world. If I declared “murder is wrong” and then killed somebody, I would hope that the top count against me would be homicide, not hypocrisy. Liberal elites ' particularly in Hollywood ' believe that hypocrisy is the gravest sin in the world, which is why they advocate their own lifestyles for the entire world: Sleep with whomever you want, listen to your own instincts, be true to yourself, blah, blah, blah. Our fear of hypocrisy is forcing us to live in a world where gluttons are fine, so long as they champion gluttony.",
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