---
title: "59 Ifs Quotes By Jon Stewart"
description: "59 Ifs quotes by Jon Stewart. Plus more from Jon Stewart and more Ifs sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/970/jon-stewart-455_ifs_so-if-you-re-negative-you-live-longer-th_1477016.jpg"
---

> [So if you're negative, you live longer? That sounds like a cruel joke.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/so-if-you-re-negative-you-live-longer-that-sounds-like-a-cruel-joke/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/970/jon-stewart-455_ifs_so-if-you-re-negative-you-live-longer-th_1477016.jpg)

> [People, if you can't get through the puns, I can't give you the good stuff.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/people-if-you-can-t-get-through-the-puns-i-can-t-give-you-the-good/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1b2/jon-stewart-455_giving_people-if-you-can-t-get-through-the-puns_1524479.jpg)

> [Get a sense of humor. If you don't, it'll be incredibly frustrating.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/get-a-sense-of-humor-if-you-don-t-it-ll-be-incredibly-frustrating/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/935/jon-stewart-455_comedy_get-a-sense-of-humor-if-you-don-t-it-ll_3171051.jpg)

> [I like a lot of wheels. If I could have eight wheels, I would.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/i-like-a-lot-of-wheels-if-i-could-have-eight-wheels-i-would/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b0/jon-stewart-455_eight_i-like-a-lot-of-wheels-if-i-could-have-e_1295751.jpg)

> [If you try to hit a grand slam, you’re going to strike out.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-you-try-to-hit-a-grand-slam-you-re-going-to-strike-out/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e67/jon-stewart-455_baseball_if-you-try-to-hit-a-grand-slam-you-re-go_2547834.jpg)

> [What good are images if people understand them?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/what-good-are-images-if-people-understand-them/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e47/jon-stewart-455_ifs_what-good-are-images-if-people-understan_1908284.jpg)

> [If you smell something, say something.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-you-smell-something-say-something/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/733/jon-stewart-455_ifs_if-you-smell-something-say-something-116_1162361.jpg)

> [Everyone knows if a Republican comes out of the closet and sees a gay shadow, it means six more years of a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/everyone-knows-if-a-republican-comes-out-of-the-closet-and-sees-a-gay/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/499/jon-stewart-455_administration_everyone-knows-if-a-republican-comes-out_1792814.jpg)

> [You know if I had nickel for every time Bush has mentioned 9/11, I could raise enough reward money to go after…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/you-know-if-i-had-nickel-for-every-time-bush-has-mentioned-9-11-i/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc2/jon-stewart-455_bin-laden_you-know-if-i-had-nickel-for-every-time_2991632.jpg)

> [If we are going to amend the constitution, shouldn't it be to keep the omos-hay from arrying-may?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-we-are-going-to-amend-the-constitution-shouldn-t-it-be-to-keep-the/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b04/jon-stewart-455_amend_if-we-are-going-to-amend-the-constitutio_370464.jpg)

> [If Obama's a tyrant, then he's pretty lame for a tyrant. How many tyrants do you know that really suffer because they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-obama-s-a-tyrant-then-he-s-pretty-lame-for-a-tyrant-how-many/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c85/jon-stewart-455_do-you-know_if-obama-s-a-tyrant-then-he-s-pretty-lam_2822198.jpg)

> [ \[If President Bush is right about democracy in Iraq\] I may, and I don't know if I can physically do this, implode. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-president-bush-is-right-about-democracy-in-iraq-i-may-and-i-don-t/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7b5/jon-stewart-455_democracy_if-president-bush-is-right-about-democra_2094054.jpg)

> [ \[He died of thirst?\] That sounds, if I might say, like the greatest Sprite commercial ever. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/he-died-of-thirst-that-sounds-if-i-might-say-like-the-greatest-sprite/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b4f/jon-stewart-455_died_he-died-of-thirst-that-sounds-if-i-might_1681403.jpg)

> [If you break someone's leg, shouldn't you have to be the crutch for a while?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-you-break-someone-s-leg-shouldn-t-you-have-to-be-the-crutch-for-a/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c4c/jon-stewart-455_break_if-you-break-someone-s-leg-shouldn-t-you_2461336.jpg)

> [The government should stop meddling in the business of the farmers, who would actually still be living ina desert if not for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/the-government-should-stop-meddling-in-the-business-of-the-farmers/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/58d/jon-stewart-455_business_the-government-should-stop-meddling-in-t_3108590.jpg)

> [You talk about the Pro-Life movement being one of the great shames of our nation. I think, if you want number two,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/you-talk-about-the-pro-life-movement-being-one-of-the-great-shames-of/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e96/jon-stewart-455_absolutes_you-talk-about-the-pro-life-movement-bei_2837818.jpg)

> [If I could be really competent, that goes such a long way toward things, because the majority of things are not competent.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-i-could-be-really-competent-that-goes-such-a-long-way-toward/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b37/jon-stewart-455_asks_if-i-could-be-really-competent-that-goes_1970407.jpg)

> [Remember that guy who got gored by a bull and the bull pulled his underwear off and he had to run around…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/remember-that-guy-who-got-gored-by-a-bull-and-the-bull-pulled-his/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/94f/jon-stewart-455_bull_remember-that-guy-who-got-gored-by-a-bul_3027912.jpg)

> [If it turns out that President Barack Obama can make a deal with the most intransigent, hard-line, unreasonable, totalitarian mullahs in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-it-turns-out-that-president-barack-obama-can-make-a-deal-with-the/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a50/jon-stewart-455_america_if-it-turns-out-that-president-barack-ob_1046904.jpg)

> [But the main thing I don't want to be is un-funny. That's really the mandate. Just whatever we're doing, make it as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/but-the-main-thing-i-don-t-want-to-be-is-un-funny-that-s-really-the/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/945/jon-stewart-455_baby_but-the-main-thing-i-don-t-want-to-be-is_1450218.jpg)

> [ Making it \[St. Patrick's Day\] a great day for the Irish, but just an ok day if you're looking for a quiet… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/making-it-st-patrick-s-day-a-great-day-for-the-irish-but-just-an-ok/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8c8/jon-stewart-455_great-day_making-it-st-patrick-s-day-a-great-day-f_954623.jpg)

> [I know that my job is to perform, it wouldn't be a very interesting show if I just came out one day…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/i-know-that-my-job-is-to-perform-it-wouldn-t-be-a-very-interesting/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1eb/jon-stewart-455_back-and-forth_i-know-that-my-job-is-to-perform-it-woul_1176829.jpg)

> [If there was one lesson to be drawn from Bush's appearance (on 'Meet the Press') it's that he doesn't have to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-there-was-one-lesson-to-be-drawn-from-bush-s-appearance-on-meet/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bfe/jon-stewart-455_appearance_if-there-was-one-lesson-to-be-drawn-from_1053071.jpg)

> [If the president is the head of the American body politic, Congress is its gastrointestinal tract. Its vast and convoluted inner workings…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-the-president-is-the-head-of-the-american-body-politic-congress-is/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/18e/jon-stewart-455_body_if-the-president-is-the-head-of-the-amer_2188791.jpg)

> [If someone was to introduce hope and idealism into our political system, I think the tension that would create in other areas…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-someone-was-to-introduce-hope-and-idealism-into-our-political/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/434/jon-stewart-455_areas_if-someone-was-to-introduce-hope-and-ide_3099578.jpg)

> [Even if the flag burning amendment does become law, the larger problem will remain of how to respectfully dispose of older, tattered…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/even-if-the-flag-burning-amendment-does-become-law-the-larger-problem/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/11c/jon-stewart-455_alive_even-if-the-flag-burning-amendment-does_501277.jpg)

> [The Jews celebrate Passover by eating unpalatable food to remind them what will happen to their people if they ever leave New…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/the-jews-celebrate-passover-by-eating-unpalatable-food-to-remind-them/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d76/jon-stewart-455_angel_the-jews-celebrate-passover-by-eating-un_1622374.jpg)

> [If you want, you can try and get a broader perspective, or you can find people who are absolutely out of their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-you-want-you-can-try-and-get-a-broader-perspective-or-you-can-find/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e15/jon-stewart-455_complexes_if-you-want-you-can-try-and-get-a-broade_150665.jpg)

> [Ralph Nader choose the man with whom to share the responsibility of running a distant third, California activist Peter Camejo. You may…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/ralph-nader-choose-the-man-with-whom-to-share-the-responsibility-of/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ac9/jon-stewart-455_activist_ralph-nader-choose-the-man-with-whom-to_1437037.jpg)

> [The country's 24 hour political pundit perpetual panic conflictinator did not cause our problems but its existence makes solving them that much…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/the-country-s-24-hour-political-pundit-perpetual-panic-conflictinator/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/94b/jon-stewart-455_amplify_the-country-s-24-hour-political-pundit-p_3204150.jpg)

> [In my head, thought, I would love to do an interview where it's just sort of de-constructed - the talking points of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/in-my-head-thought-i-would-love-to-do-an-interview-where-it-s-just/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/878/jon-stewart-455_al-qaeda_in-my-head-thought-i-would-love-to-do-an_2778517.jpg)

> [If the world does need to repopulate at some point, the announcing team of Rob Lowe and Sofia Vergara, I think, would…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-the-world-does-need-to-repopulate-at-some-point-the-announcing/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/727/jon-stewart-455_announcing_if-the-world-does-need-to-repopulate-at_2914665.jpg)

> [If the guy in front of you at the polls has arm swords, you might want to considering filling out an absentee…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-the-guy-in-front-of-you-at-the-polls-has-arm-swords-you-might-want/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e86/jon-stewart-455_arms_if-the-guy-in-front-of-you-at-the-polls_2258638.jpg)

> [The best defence against bullshit is vigilance. So if you smell something, say something.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/the-best-defence-against-bullshit-is-vigilance-so-if-you-smell/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/39d/jon-stewart-455_bullshit_the-best-defence-against-bullshit-is-vig_359491.jpg)

> [The press is our immune system. If it overreacts to everything, we eventually get sicker.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/the-press-is-our-immune-system-if-it-overreacts-to-everything-we/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0f5/jon-stewart-455_funny_the-press-is-our-immune-system-if-it-ove_3023430.jpg)

> [I still do not understand how a corporation can have person-hood if it has no soul and never dies.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/i-still-do-not-understand-how-a-corporation-can-have-person-hood-if/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1f3/jon-stewart-455_corporations_i-still-do-not-understand-how-a-corporat_1113711.jpg)

> [If you don't get it right with your first family, you can always do it again with another.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-you-don-t-get-it-right-with-your-first-family-you-can-always-do-it/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bb3/jon-stewart-455_family_if-you-don-t-get-it-right-with-your-firs_1287924.jpg)

> [Why do I have to follow CNN on Twitter? If I want to follow CNN, I can follow them on CNN.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/why-do-i-have-to-follow-cnn-on-twitter-if-i-want-to-follow-cnn-i-can/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/28e/jon-stewart-455_cnn_why-do-i-have-to-follow-cnn-on-twitter-i_2304849.jpg)

> [I've always run by the hierarchy of 'If not funny, interesting. If not interesting, hot. If not hot, bizarre. If not bizarre,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/i-ve-always-run-by-the-hierarchy-of-if-not-funny-interesting-if-not/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/acf/jon-stewart-455_bizarre_i-ve-always-run-by-the-hierarchy-of-if-n_1286062.jpg)

> [If I'd only followed CNBC's advice, I'd have a million dollars today. Provided I'd started with a hundred million dollars.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-i-d-only-followed-cnbc-s-advice-i-d-have-a-million-dollars-today/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1f3/jon-stewart-455_advice_if-i-d-only-followed-cnbc-s-advice-i-d-h_1748994.jpg)

## Other authors on Ifs

## More by Jon Stewart

> [Clearly, I'm way older than everyone.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/clearly-i-m-way-older-than-everyone/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

> [I don't know how people feel,that's the beauty of TV, is they can see us, but we can't see them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/i-don-t-know-how-people-feel-that-s-the-beauty-of-tv-is-they-can-see/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

> [I don't think marijuana should be illegal.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/i-don-t-think-marijuana-should-be-illegal/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

> [I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it's not even…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/i-reject-the-idea-there-are-just-two-sides-i-think-that-with-the/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

> [Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/megachurches-i-can-t-be-the-only-one-frightened-when-our-houses-of/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

> [While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/while-opponents-label-howard-dean-a-throwback-liberal-the-new-york/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

> [You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/you-just-have-to-keep-trying-to-do-good-work-and-hope-that-it-leads/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

> [You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/you-know-in-saudi-arabia-you-re-innocent-until-proven-jewish-female/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

> [The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/the-unfortunate-yet-truly-exciting-thing-about-your-life-is-that/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

> [A guy who says what people who aren't thinking are thinking.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/a-guy-who-says-what-people-who-aren-t-thinking-are-thinking/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

> [Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/do-you-guys-have-to-sell-everything-i-d-like-to-buy-the-earth-s-core/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

> [Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of 's.'…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/christmas-and-the-new-year-are-actually-two-holidays-so-there-is-a/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

> [We're going to do a challenge. I'm going to try and download every movie ever made and you are going to try to sign…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/we-re-going-to-do-a-challenge-i-m-going-to-try-and-download-every/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

> [Our culture is just a series of checks and balances. The whole idea that we're in a battle between tyranny and freedom - it's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/our-culture-is-just-a-series-of-checks-and-balances-the-whole-idea/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

> [For me it was just exciting to see fake news catching on like that. We don't you know, it's interesting. I think we don't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/for-me-it-was-just-exciting-to-see-fake-news-catching-on-like-that-we/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "ItemList",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/jon-stewart/#itemlist",
            "name": "59 Ifs Quotes By Jon Stewart",
            "numberOfItems": 40,
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "So if you're negative, you live longer? That sounds like a cruel joke.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/so-if-you-re-negative-you-live-longer-that-sounds-like-a-cruel-joke/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/970/jon-stewart-455_ifs_so-if-you-re-negative-you-live-longer-th_1477016.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/970/jon-stewart-455_ifs_so-if-you-re-negative-you-live-longer-th_1477016.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/970/jon-stewart-455_ifs_so-if-you-re-negative-you-live-longer-th_1477016.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“So if you're negative, you live longer? That sounds like a cruel joke.” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "People, if you can't get through the puns, I can't give you the good stuff.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/people-if-you-can-t-get-through-the-puns-i-can-t-give-you-the-good/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1b2/jon-stewart-455_giving_people-if-you-can-t-get-through-the-puns_1524479.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1b2/jon-stewart-455_giving_people-if-you-can-t-get-through-the-puns_1524479.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1b2/jon-stewart-455_giving_people-if-you-can-t-get-through-the-puns_1524479.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“People, if you can't get through the puns, I can't give you the good stuff.” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Get a sense of humor. If you don't, it'll be incredibly frustrating.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/get-a-sense-of-humor-if-you-don-t-it-ll-be-incredibly-frustrating/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/935/jon-stewart-455_comedy_get-a-sense-of-humor-if-you-don-t-it-ll_3171051.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/935/jon-stewart-455_comedy_get-a-sense-of-humor-if-you-don-t-it-ll_3171051.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/935/jon-stewart-455_comedy_get-a-sense-of-humor-if-you-don-t-it-ll_3171051.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“Get a sense of humor. If you don't, it'll be incredibly frustrating.” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I like a lot of wheels. If I could have eight wheels, I would.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/i-like-a-lot-of-wheels-if-i-could-have-eight-wheels-i-would/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b0/jon-stewart-455_eight_i-like-a-lot-of-wheels-if-i-could-have-e_1295751.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b0/jon-stewart-455_eight_i-like-a-lot-of-wheels-if-i-could-have-e_1295751.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b0/jon-stewart-455_eight_i-like-a-lot-of-wheels-if-i-could-have-e_1295751.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“I like a lot of wheels. If I could have eight wheels, I would.” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 5,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "If you try to hit a grand slam, you’re going to strike out.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-you-try-to-hit-a-grand-slam-you-re-going-to-strike-out/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e67/jon-stewart-455_baseball_if-you-try-to-hit-a-grand-slam-you-re-go_2547834.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e67/jon-stewart-455_baseball_if-you-try-to-hit-a-grand-slam-you-re-go_2547834.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e67/jon-stewart-455_baseball_if-you-try-to-hit-a-grand-slam-you-re-go_2547834.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“If you try to hit a grand slam, you’re going to strike out.” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 6,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "What good are images if people understand them?",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/what-good-are-images-if-people-understand-them/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e47/jon-stewart-455_ifs_what-good-are-images-if-people-understan_1908284.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e47/jon-stewart-455_ifs_what-good-are-images-if-people-understan_1908284.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e47/jon-stewart-455_ifs_what-good-are-images-if-people-understan_1908284.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“What good are images if people understand them?” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 7,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "If you smell something, say something.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-you-smell-something-say-something/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/733/jon-stewart-455_ifs_if-you-smell-something-say-something-116_1162361.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/733/jon-stewart-455_ifs_if-you-smell-something-say-something-116_1162361.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/733/jon-stewart-455_ifs_if-you-smell-something-say-something-116_1162361.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“If you smell something, say something.” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 8,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Everyone knows if a Republican comes out of the closet and sees a gay shadow, it means six more years of a Democratic administration.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/everyone-knows-if-a-republican-comes-out-of-the-closet-and-sees-a-gay/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/499/jon-stewart-455_administration_everyone-knows-if-a-republican-comes-out_1792814.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/499/jon-stewart-455_administration_everyone-knows-if-a-republican-comes-out_1792814.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/499/jon-stewart-455_administration_everyone-knows-if-a-republican-comes-out_1792814.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“Everyone knows if a Republican comes out of the closet and sees a gay shadow, it means six more years of a…” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 9,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "You know if I had nickel for every time Bush has mentioned 9/11, I could raise enough reward money to go after Bin Laden.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/you-know-if-i-had-nickel-for-every-time-bush-has-mentioned-9-11-i/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc2/jon-stewart-455_bin-laden_you-know-if-i-had-nickel-for-every-time_2991632.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc2/jon-stewart-455_bin-laden_you-know-if-i-had-nickel-for-every-time_2991632.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc2/jon-stewart-455_bin-laden_you-know-if-i-had-nickel-for-every-time_2991632.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“You know if I had nickel for every time Bush has mentioned 9/11, I could raise enough reward money to go…” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 10,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "If we are going to amend the constitution, shouldn't it be to keep the omos-hay from arrying-may?",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-we-are-going-to-amend-the-constitution-shouldn-t-it-be-to-keep-the/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b04/jon-stewart-455_amend_if-we-are-going-to-amend-the-constitutio_370464.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b04/jon-stewart-455_amend_if-we-are-going-to-amend-the-constitutio_370464.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b04/jon-stewart-455_amend_if-we-are-going-to-amend-the-constitutio_370464.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“If we are going to amend the constitution, shouldn't it be to keep the omos-hay from arrying-may?” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 11,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "If Obama's a tyrant, then he's pretty lame for a tyrant. How many tyrants do you know that really suffer because they can't get cloture? Very few.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-obama-s-a-tyrant-then-he-s-pretty-lame-for-a-tyrant-how-many/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c85/jon-stewart-455_do-you-know_if-obama-s-a-tyrant-then-he-s-pretty-lam_2822198.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c85/jon-stewart-455_do-you-know_if-obama-s-a-tyrant-then-he-s-pretty-lam_2822198.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c85/jon-stewart-455_do-you-know_if-obama-s-a-tyrant-then-he-s-pretty-lam_2822198.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“If Obama's a tyrant, then he's pretty lame for a tyrant. How many tyrants do you know that really suffer…” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 12,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "[If President Bush is right about democracy in Iraq] I may, and I don't know if I can physically do this, implode.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-president-bush-is-right-about-democracy-in-iraq-i-may-and-i-don-t/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7b5/jon-stewart-455_democracy_if-president-bush-is-right-about-democra_2094054.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7b5/jon-stewart-455_democracy_if-president-bush-is-right-about-democra_2094054.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7b5/jon-stewart-455_democracy_if-president-bush-is-right-about-democra_2094054.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“[If President Bush is right about democracy in Iraq] I may, and I don't know if I can physically do this…” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 13,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "[He died of thirst?] That sounds, if I might say, like the greatest Sprite commercial ever.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/he-died-of-thirst-that-sounds-if-i-might-say-like-the-greatest-sprite/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b4f/jon-stewart-455_died_he-died-of-thirst-that-sounds-if-i-might_1681403.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b4f/jon-stewart-455_died_he-died-of-thirst-that-sounds-if-i-might_1681403.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b4f/jon-stewart-455_died_he-died-of-thirst-that-sounds-if-i-might_1681403.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“[He died of thirst?] That sounds, if I might say, like the greatest Sprite commercial ever.” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 14,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "If you break someone's leg, shouldn't you have to be the crutch for a while?",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-you-break-someone-s-leg-shouldn-t-you-have-to-be-the-crutch-for-a/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c4c/jon-stewart-455_break_if-you-break-someone-s-leg-shouldn-t-you_2461336.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c4c/jon-stewart-455_break_if-you-break-someone-s-leg-shouldn-t-you_2461336.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c4c/jon-stewart-455_break_if-you-break-someone-s-leg-shouldn-t-you_2461336.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“If you break someone's leg, shouldn't you have to be the crutch for a while?” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 15,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "The government should stop meddling in the business of the farmers, who would actually still be living ina desert if not for government meddling.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/the-government-should-stop-meddling-in-the-business-of-the-farmers/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/58d/jon-stewart-455_business_the-government-should-stop-meddling-in-t_3108590.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/58d/jon-stewart-455_business_the-government-should-stop-meddling-in-t_3108590.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/58d/jon-stewart-455_business_the-government-should-stop-meddling-in-t_3108590.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“The government should stop meddling in the business of the farmers, who would actually still be living ina…” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 16,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "You talk about the Pro-Life movement being one of the great shames of our nation. I think, if you want number two, I think - I think it's that. I think it's absolute - it's a travesty that people have forced someone who is gay to make their case that they deserve the same basic rights.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/you-talk-about-the-pro-life-movement-being-one-of-the-great-shames-of/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e96/jon-stewart-455_absolutes_you-talk-about-the-pro-life-movement-bei_2837818.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e96/jon-stewart-455_absolutes_you-talk-about-the-pro-life-movement-bei_2837818.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e96/jon-stewart-455_absolutes_you-talk-about-the-pro-life-movement-bei_2837818.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“You talk about the Pro-Life movement being one of the great shames of our nation. I think, if you want…” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 17,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "If I could be really competent, that goes such a long way toward things, because the majority of things are not competent. If I can be competent, and have moments of originality, that's all I would ask for.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-i-could-be-really-competent-that-goes-such-a-long-way-toward/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b37/jon-stewart-455_asks_if-i-could-be-really-competent-that-goes_1970407.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b37/jon-stewart-455_asks_if-i-could-be-really-competent-that-goes_1970407.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b37/jon-stewart-455_asks_if-i-could-be-really-competent-that-goes_1970407.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“If I could be really competent, that goes such a long way toward things, because the majority of things are…” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 18,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Remember that guy who got gored by a bull and the bull pulled his underwear off and he had to run around the ring naked? If that footage comes out, I'll run that.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/remember-that-guy-who-got-gored-by-a-bull-and-the-bull-pulled-his/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/94f/jon-stewart-455_bull_remember-that-guy-who-got-gored-by-a-bul_3027912.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/94f/jon-stewart-455_bull_remember-that-guy-who-got-gored-by-a-bul_3027912.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/94f/jon-stewart-455_bull_remember-that-guy-who-got-gored-by-a-bul_3027912.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“Remember that guy who got gored by a bull and the bull pulled his underwear off and he had to run around the…” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 19,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "If it turns out that President Barack Obama can make a deal with the most intransigent, hard-line, unreasonable, totalitarian mullahs in the world but not with Republicans? Maybe he's not the problem.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-it-turns-out-that-president-barack-obama-can-make-a-deal-with-the/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a50/jon-stewart-455_america_if-it-turns-out-that-president-barack-ob_1046904.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a50/jon-stewart-455_america_if-it-turns-out-that-president-barack-ob_1046904.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a50/jon-stewart-455_america_if-it-turns-out-that-president-barack-ob_1046904.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“If it turns out that President Barack Obama can make a deal with the most intransigent, hard-line…” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 20,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "But the main thing I don't want to be is un-funny. That's really the mandate. Just whatever we're doing, make it as funny as we can possibly make it. And believe me, if the show starts going down, we'll introduce a baby. We'll do everything that they did on 'Family Ties.' I'm not afraid of that.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/but-the-main-thing-i-don-t-want-to-be-is-un-funny-that-s-really-the/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/945/jon-stewart-455_baby_but-the-main-thing-i-don-t-want-to-be-is_1450218.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/945/jon-stewart-455_baby_but-the-main-thing-i-don-t-want-to-be-is_1450218.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/945/jon-stewart-455_baby_but-the-main-thing-i-don-t-want-to-be-is_1450218.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“But the main thing I don't want to be is un-funny. That's really the mandate. Just whatever we're doing…” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 21,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Making it [St. Patrick's Day] a great day for the Irish, but just an ok day if you're looking for a quiet tavern to talk, read or have a white wine spritzer.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/making-it-st-patrick-s-day-a-great-day-for-the-irish-but-just-an-ok/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8c8/jon-stewart-455_great-day_making-it-st-patrick-s-day-a-great-day-f_954623.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8c8/jon-stewart-455_great-day_making-it-st-patrick-s-day-a-great-day-f_954623.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8c8/jon-stewart-455_great-day_making-it-st-patrick-s-day-a-great-day-f_954623.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“Making it [St. Patrick's Day] a great day for the Irish, but just an ok day if you're looking for a quiet…” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 22,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I know that my job is to perform, it wouldn't be a very interesting show if I just came out one day and said, \"I'm going to sit here in a ball and rock back and forth. And won't you join me for a half hour of sadness.\"",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/i-know-that-my-job-is-to-perform-it-wouldn-t-be-a-very-interesting/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1eb/jon-stewart-455_back-and-forth_i-know-that-my-job-is-to-perform-it-woul_1176829.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1eb/jon-stewart-455_back-and-forth_i-know-that-my-job-is-to-perform-it-woul_1176829.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1eb/jon-stewart-455_back-and-forth_i-know-that-my-job-is-to-perform-it-woul_1176829.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“I know that my job is to perform, it wouldn't be a very interesting show if I just came out one day and…” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 23,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "If there was one lesson to be drawn from Bush's appearance (on 'Meet the Press') it's that he doesn't have to be forthcoming or honest. And he's the first to tell you why. (Bush:) 'I'm a war president.' He added: 'I guess I should have told you that back in 2000.'",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-there-was-one-lesson-to-be-drawn-from-bush-s-appearance-on-meet/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bfe/jon-stewart-455_appearance_if-there-was-one-lesson-to-be-drawn-from_1053071.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bfe/jon-stewart-455_appearance_if-there-was-one-lesson-to-be-drawn-from_1053071.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bfe/jon-stewart-455_appearance_if-there-was-one-lesson-to-be-drawn-from_1053071.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“If there was one lesson to be drawn from Bush's appearance (on 'Meet the Press') it's that he doesn't have…” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 24,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "If the president is the head of the American body politic, Congress is its gastrointestinal tract. Its vast and convoluted inner workings may be mysterious and unpleasant, but in the end they excrete a great deal of material whose successful passage is crucial to our nation's survival. This is Congress's duty.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-the-president-is-the-head-of-the-american-body-politic-congress-is/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/18e/jon-stewart-455_body_if-the-president-is-the-head-of-the-amer_2188791.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/18e/jon-stewart-455_body_if-the-president-is-the-head-of-the-amer_2188791.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/18e/jon-stewart-455_body_if-the-president-is-the-head-of-the-amer_2188791.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“If the president is the head of the American body politic, Congress is its gastrointestinal tract. Its vast…” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 25,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "If someone was to introduce hope and idealism into our political system, I think the tension that would create in other areas would certainly be ripe. You would think that if you bring oxygen to the organism, the organism lives. But there may be other organisms in there that thrive in darkness and in a more anaerobic environment. Watching those creatures writhe will always be interesting.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-someone-was-to-introduce-hope-and-idealism-into-our-political/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/434/jon-stewart-455_areas_if-someone-was-to-introduce-hope-and-ide_3099578.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/434/jon-stewart-455_areas_if-someone-was-to-introduce-hope-and-ide_3099578.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/434/jon-stewart-455_areas_if-someone-was-to-introduce-hope-and-ide_3099578.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“If someone was to introduce hope and idealism into our political system, I think the tension that would…” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 26,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Even if the flag burning amendment does become law, the larger problem will remain of how to respectfully dispose of older, tattered flags. Well, fortunately the U.S. official Flag Code has a suggestion about this. Quote: 'The flag, when it is in such a condition that it is no longer a fitting emblem of display, should be destroyed in a dignified way, preferably by burning.' Owwwwcchh. In response, the House Republicans are calling for tattered flags to be kept alive via a feeding tube.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/even-if-the-flag-burning-amendment-does-become-law-the-larger-problem/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/11c/jon-stewart-455_alive_even-if-the-flag-burning-amendment-does_501277.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/11c/jon-stewart-455_alive_even-if-the-flag-burning-amendment-does_501277.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/11c/jon-stewart-455_alive_even-if-the-flag-burning-amendment-does_501277.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“Even if the flag burning amendment does become law, the larger problem will remain of how to respectfully…” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 27,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "The Jews celebrate Passover by eating unpalatable food to remind them what will happen to their people if they ever leave New York City. The traditional meal often includes gefilte fish. For those of you who don't know what gefilte fish is, it strongly resembles a ball of tuna fish that has been passed nasally. It's not good. During Passover, the angel of death passed over the Jews - an event that, up until the late 1950s, was re-enacted every year by Ivy League colleges and suburban country clubs.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/the-jews-celebrate-passover-by-eating-unpalatable-food-to-remind-them/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d76/jon-stewart-455_angel_the-jews-celebrate-passover-by-eating-un_1622374.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d76/jon-stewart-455_angel_the-jews-celebrate-passover-by-eating-un_1622374.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d76/jon-stewart-455_angel_the-jews-celebrate-passover-by-eating-un_1622374.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“The Jews celebrate Passover by eating unpalatable food to remind them what will happen to their people if…” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 28,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "If you want, you can try and get a broader perspective, or you can find people who are absolutely out of their minds, or find people that are doing incredibly complex and interesting and urgent journalism. And the same goes for our show. It's a prism into people's own ideologies, when they watch our program. This is just our take.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-you-want-you-can-try-and-get-a-broader-perspective-or-you-can-find/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e15/jon-stewart-455_complexes_if-you-want-you-can-try-and-get-a-broade_150665.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e15/jon-stewart-455_complexes_if-you-want-you-can-try-and-get-a-broade_150665.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e15/jon-stewart-455_complexes_if-you-want-you-can-try-and-get-a-broade_150665.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“If you want, you can try and get a broader perspective, or you can find people who are absolutely out of…” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 29,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Ralph Nader choose the man with whom to share the responsibility of running a distant third, California activist Peter Camejo. You may remember that Camejo ran for president in 1976 on the Socialist Workers Party ticket. Actually, you might only remember that if you run a lesbian, vegetarian, bookstore.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/ralph-nader-choose-the-man-with-whom-to-share-the-responsibility-of/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ac9/jon-stewart-455_activist_ralph-nader-choose-the-man-with-whom-to_1437037.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ac9/jon-stewart-455_activist_ralph-nader-choose-the-man-with-whom-to_1437037.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ac9/jon-stewart-455_activist_ralph-nader-choose-the-man-with-whom-to_1437037.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“Ralph Nader choose the man with whom to share the responsibility of running a distant third, California…” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 30,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "The country's 24 hour political pundit perpetual panic conflictinator did not cause our problems but its existence makes solving them that much harder. The press can hold its magnifying up to our problems bringing them into focus, illuminating issues heretofore unseen or they can use that magnifying glass to light ants on fire and then perhaps host a week of shows on the sudden, unexpected dangerous flaming ant epidemic. If we amplify everything we hear nothing.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/the-country-s-24-hour-political-pundit-perpetual-panic-conflictinator/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/94b/jon-stewart-455_amplify_the-country-s-24-hour-political-pundit-p_3204150.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/94b/jon-stewart-455_amplify_the-country-s-24-hour-political-pundit-p_3204150.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/94b/jon-stewart-455_amplify_the-country-s-24-hour-political-pundit-p_3204150.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“The country's 24 hour political pundit perpetual panic conflictinator did not cause our problems but its…” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 31,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "In my head, thought, I would love to do an interview where it's just sort of de-constructed - the talking points of Iraq - sort of the idea of, is this really the conversation we're having about this war? That if we don't defeat Al Qaeda in Iraq, they'll follow us home? That to support the troops means not to question that the surge could work. That, what we're really seeing in Iraq is not a terrible war, but in fact, just the media's portrayal of it.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/in-my-head-thought-i-would-love-to-do-an-interview-where-it-s-just/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/878/jon-stewart-455_al-qaeda_in-my-head-thought-i-would-love-to-do-an_2778517.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/878/jon-stewart-455_al-qaeda_in-my-head-thought-i-would-love-to-do-an_2778517.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/878/jon-stewart-455_al-qaeda_in-my-head-thought-i-would-love-to-do-an_2778517.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“In my head, thought, I would love to do an interview where it's just sort of de-constructed - the talking…” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 32,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "If the world does need to repopulate at some point, the announcing team of Rob Lowe and Sofia Vergara, I think, would make very pleasant children.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-the-world-does-need-to-repopulate-at-some-point-the-announcing/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/727/jon-stewart-455_announcing_if-the-world-does-need-to-repopulate-at_2914665.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/727/jon-stewart-455_announcing_if-the-world-does-need-to-repopulate-at_2914665.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/727/jon-stewart-455_announcing_if-the-world-does-need-to-repopulate-at_2914665.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“If the world does need to repopulate at some point, the announcing team of Rob Lowe and Sofia Vergara, I…” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 33,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "If the guy in front of you at the polls has arm swords, you might want to considering filling out an absentee ballot.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-the-guy-in-front-of-you-at-the-polls-has-arm-swords-you-might-want/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e86/jon-stewart-455_arms_if-the-guy-in-front-of-you-at-the-polls_2258638.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e86/jon-stewart-455_arms_if-the-guy-in-front-of-you-at-the-polls_2258638.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e86/jon-stewart-455_arms_if-the-guy-in-front-of-you-at-the-polls_2258638.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“If the guy in front of you at the polls has arm swords, you might want to considering filling out an…” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 34,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "The best defence against bullshit is vigilance. So if you smell something, say something.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/the-best-defence-against-bullshit-is-vigilance-so-if-you-smell/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/39d/jon-stewart-455_bullshit_the-best-defence-against-bullshit-is-vig_359491.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/39d/jon-stewart-455_bullshit_the-best-defence-against-bullshit-is-vig_359491.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/39d/jon-stewart-455_bullshit_the-best-defence-against-bullshit-is-vig_359491.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“The best defence against bullshit is vigilance. So if you smell something, say something.” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 35,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "The press is our immune system. If it overreacts to everything, we eventually get sicker.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/the-press-is-our-immune-system-if-it-overreacts-to-everything-we/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0f5/jon-stewart-455_funny_the-press-is-our-immune-system-if-it-ove_3023430.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0f5/jon-stewart-455_funny_the-press-is-our-immune-system-if-it-ove_3023430.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0f5/jon-stewart-455_funny_the-press-is-our-immune-system-if-it-ove_3023430.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“The press is our immune system. If it overreacts to everything, we eventually get sicker.” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 36,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I still do not understand how a corporation can have person-hood if it has no soul and never dies.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/i-still-do-not-understand-how-a-corporation-can-have-person-hood-if/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1f3/jon-stewart-455_corporations_i-still-do-not-understand-how-a-corporat_1113711.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1f3/jon-stewart-455_corporations_i-still-do-not-understand-how-a-corporat_1113711.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1f3/jon-stewart-455_corporations_i-still-do-not-understand-how-a-corporat_1113711.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“I still do not understand how a corporation can have person-hood if it has no soul and never dies.” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 37,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "If you don't get it right with your first family, you can always do it again with another.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-you-don-t-get-it-right-with-your-first-family-you-can-always-do-it/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bb3/jon-stewart-455_family_if-you-don-t-get-it-right-with-your-firs_1287924.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bb3/jon-stewart-455_family_if-you-don-t-get-it-right-with-your-firs_1287924.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bb3/jon-stewart-455_family_if-you-don-t-get-it-right-with-your-firs_1287924.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“If you don't get it right with your first family, you can always do it again with another.” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 38,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Why do I have to follow CNN on Twitter? If I want to follow CNN, I can follow them on CNN.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/why-do-i-have-to-follow-cnn-on-twitter-if-i-want-to-follow-cnn-i-can/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/28e/jon-stewart-455_cnn_why-do-i-have-to-follow-cnn-on-twitter-i_2304849.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/28e/jon-stewart-455_cnn_why-do-i-have-to-follow-cnn-on-twitter-i_2304849.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/28e/jon-stewart-455_cnn_why-do-i-have-to-follow-cnn-on-twitter-i_2304849.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“Why do I have to follow CNN on Twitter? If I want to follow CNN, I can follow them on CNN.” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 39,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I've always run by the hierarchy of 'If not funny, interesting. If not interesting, hot. If not hot, bizarre. If not bizarre, break something.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/i-ve-always-run-by-the-hierarchy-of-if-not-funny-interesting-if-not/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/acf/jon-stewart-455_bizarre_i-ve-always-run-by-the-hierarchy-of-if-n_1286062.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/acf/jon-stewart-455_bizarre_i-ve-always-run-by-the-hierarchy-of-if-n_1286062.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/acf/jon-stewart-455_bizarre_i-ve-always-run-by-the-hierarchy-of-if-n_1286062.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“I've always run by the hierarchy of 'If not funny, interesting. If not interesting, hot. If not hot…” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 40,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "If I'd only followed CNBC's advice, I'd have a million dollars today. Provided I'd started with a hundred million dollars.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Stewart"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-i-d-only-followed-cnbc-s-advice-i-d-have-a-million-dollars-today/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1f3/jon-stewart-455_advice_if-i-d-only-followed-cnbc-s-advice-i-d-h_1748994.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1f3/jon-stewart-455_advice_if-i-d-only-followed-cnbc-s-advice-i-d-h_1748994.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1f3/jon-stewart-455_advice_if-i-d-only-followed-cnbc-s-advice-i-d-h_1748994.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“If I'd only followed CNBC's advice, I'd have a million dollars today. Provided I'd started with a hundred…” — Jon Stewart",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                }
            ]
        },
        {
            "@type": "CollectionPage",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/jon-stewart/#webpage",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/jon-stewart/",
            "name": "Ifs Quotes by Jon Stewart",
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "mainEntity": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/jon-stewart/#itemlist"
            },
            "primaryImageOfPage": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/970/jon-stewart-455_ifs_so-if-you-re-negative-you-live-longer-th_1477016.jpg"
            },
            "description": "59 Ifs quotes by Jon Stewart. Plus more from Jon Stewart and more Ifs sayings from other authors.",
            "breadcrumb": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/jon-stewart/#breadcrumb"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/jon-stewart/#breadcrumb",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Topics",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/categories/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "Ifs",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 5,
                    "name": "Jon Stewart",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/jon-stewart/"
                }
            ]
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```