--- title: "14 Ifs Quotes By J. D. Salinger" description: "14 Ifs quotes by J. D. Salinger. Plus more from J. D. Salinger and more Ifs sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/af6/j-d-salinger-2-3505_commit_it-was-the-last-game-of-the-year-and-you_1947485.jpg" --- > [It was the last game of the year and you were supposed to commit suicide or something if old Pencey didn't win.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/it-was-the-last-game-of-the-year-and-you-were-supposed-to-commit/) [J. D. Salinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-d-salinger-2/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/af6/j-d-salinger-2-3505_commit_it-was-the-last-game-of-the-year-and-you_1947485.jpg) > [I never seem to have anything that if I lost it I'd care too much about.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/i-never-seem-to-have-anything-that-if-i-lost-it-i-d-care-too-much/) [J. D. Salinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-d-salinger-2/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5fd/j-d-salinger-2-3505_care_i-never-seem-to-have-anything-that-if-i_1300483.jpg) > [If sentiment doesn't ultimately make fibbers of some people, their natural abominable memories almost certainly will.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/if-sentiment-doesn-t-ultimately-make-fibbers-of-some-people-their/) [J. D. Salinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-d-salinger-2/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/88f/j-d-salinger-2-3505_ifs_if-sentiment-doesn-t-ultimately-make-fib_1754144.jpg) > [What I think is, you're supposed to leave somebody alone if he's at least being interesting and he's getting all excited about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/what-i-think-is-you-re-supposed-to-leave-somebody-alone-if-he-s-at/) [J. D. Salinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-d-salinger-2/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/041/j-d-salinger-2-3505_excited_what-i-think-is-you-re-supposed-to-leave_1046353.jpg) > [I kept picturing all these little kids in this big field of rye... If they're running and they don't look where they're…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/i-kept-picturing-all-these-little-kids-in-this-big-field-of-rye-if/) [J. D. Salinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-d-salinger-2/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/58b/j-d-salinger-2-3505_bigs_i-kept-picturing-all-these-little-kids-i_1043616.jpg) > [Some game. If you get on the side where all the hot-shots are, then it's a game, all right - I'll admit…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/some-game-if-you-get-on-the-side-where-all-the-hot-shots-are-then-it-2/) [J. D. Salinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-d-salinger-2/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8e0/j-d-salinger-2-3505_catchers_some-game-if-you-get-on-the-side-where-a_952626.jpg) > [If Death stepped miraculously through the glass and came in after you, in all probability you just got up and went along…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/if-death-stepped-miraculously-through-the-glass-and-came-in-after-you/) [J. D. Salinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-d-salinger-2/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6a9/j-d-salinger-2-3505_death_if-death-stepped-miraculously-through-th_1378605.jpg) > [The thing with kids is, if they want to grab for the gold ring, you have to let them do it, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/the-thing-with-kids-is-if-they-want-to-grab-for-the-gold-ring-you/) [J. D. Salinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-d-salinger-2/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c08/j-d-salinger-2-3505_carousels_the-thing-with-kids-is-if-they-want-to-g_356234.jpg) > [If you have something to offer, someone will learn something from you. It's a beautiful reciprocal arrangement. And it isn't education. It's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/if-you-have-something-to-offer-someone-will-learn-something-from-you/) [J. D. Salinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-d-salinger-2/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/96b/j-d-salinger-2-3505_arrangements_if-you-have-something-to-offer-someone-w_2517756.jpg) > [It's full of phonies, and all you do is study so that you can learn enough to be smart enough to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/it-s-full-of-phonies-and-all-you-do-is-study-so-that-you-can-learn-2/) [J. D. Salinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-d-salinger-2/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/970/j-d-salinger-2-3505_able_it-s-full-of-phonies-and-all-you-do-is-s_2702719.jpg) > [I have a feeling that you're riding for some kind of a terrible, terrible fall. But I don't honestly know what kind……](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/i-have-a-feeling-that-you-re-riding-for-some-kind-of-a-terrible-3/) [J. D. Salinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-d-salinger-2/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ab0/j-d-salinger-2-3505_age_i-have-a-feeling-that-you-re-riding-for_3137868.jpg) > [I have scars on my hands from touching certain people...Certain heads, certain colours and textures of human hair leave permanent marks on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/i-have-scars-on-my-hands-from-touching-certain-people-certain-heads-2/) [J. D. Salinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-d-salinger-2/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e34/j-d-salinger-2-3505_certain_i-have-scars-on-my-hands-from-touching-c_2164117.jpg) > [Take most people, they are crazy about cars. They worry if they get a little scratch on them, they are always talking…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/take-most-people-they-are-crazy-about-cars-they-worry-if-they-get-a/) [J. D. Salinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-d-salinger-2/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/46e/j-d-salinger-2-3505_brand-new_take-most-people-they-are-crazy-about-ca_3120495.jpg) > [But if we come back, if German men come back, if British men come back, and Japs, and French, and all the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/but-if-we-come-back-if-german-men-come-back-if-british-men-come-back/) [J. D. Salinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-d-salinger-2/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/49a/j-d-salinger-2-3505_blood_but-if-we-come-back-if-german-men-come-b_79460.jpg) ## Other authors on Ifs ## More by J. D. Salinger > [... even the most sublimely accomplished non-stop talker can't consistently please.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/even-the-most-sublimely-accomplished-non-stop-talker-can-t/) [J. D. Salinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-d-salinger-2/) > [But where does by far the bulk, the whole ambulance load, of pain really come from? Where must it come from? Isn't the true…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/but-where-does-by-far-the-bulk-the-whole-ambulance-load-of-pain/) [J. D. Salinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-d-salinger-2/) > [“Nobody'd be different. The only thing that would be different would be you. Not that you'd be so much older or anything. It wouldn't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/nobody-d-be-different-the-only-thing-that-would-be-different-would-be/) [J. D. Salinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-d-salinger-2/) > [Sex is something I really don't understand too hot.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/sex-is-something-i-really-don-t-understand-too-hot/) [J. D. Salinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-d-salinger-2/) > [“Meant-to-be-picked-up books. Permanently-left-behind books. Uncertain-what-to-do-with books. But books, books.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/meant-to-be-picked-up-books-permanently-left-behind-books-uncertain/) [J. D. Salinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-d-salinger-2/) > [But if we come back, if German men come back, if British men come back, and Japs, and French, and all the other men,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/but-if-we-come-back-if-german-men-come-back-if-british-men-come-back/) [J. D. Salinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-d-salinger-2/) > [Then again you may pick up just enough education to hate people who say, 'It's a secret between he and I.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/then-again-you-may-pick-up-just-enough-education-to-hate-people-who/) [J. D. Salinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-d-salinger-2/) > [The worst thing that being an artist could do to you would be that it would make you slightly unhappy constantly.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/the-worst-thing-that-being-an-artist-could-do-to-you-would-be-that-it/) [J. D. Salinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-d-salinger-2/) > [I'm sick of not having the courage to be an absolute nobody. I'm sick of myself and everybody else that wants to make some…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/i-m-sick-of-not-having-the-courage-to-be-an-absolute-nobody-i-m-sick/) [J. D. Salinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-d-salinger-2/) > [“You keep records of their troubles. You’ll learn from them. If you want to Just as someday, if you have something to offer, someone…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/you-keep-records-of-their-troubles-you-ll-learn-from-them-if-you-want/) [J. D. Salinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-d-salinger-2/) > [I'm aware that many of my friends will be saddened and shocked, or shock-saddened, over some of the chapters in 'The Catcher In the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/i-m-aware-that-many-of-my-friends-will-be-saddened-and-shocked-or/) [J. D. Salinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-d-salinger-2/) > [Most stuff that is genuine is better left unsaid.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/most-stuff-that-is-genuine-is-better-left-unsaid/) [J. D. Salinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-d-salinger-2/) > [“Sex is something I really don't understand too hot. You never know where the hell you are. I keep making up these sex rules…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/sex-is-something-i-really-don-t-understand-too-hot-you-never-know/) [J. D. Salinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-d-salinger-2/) > [An artist's only concern is to shoot for some kind of perfection, and on his own terms, not anyone else's.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/an-artist-s-only-concern-is-to-shoot-for-some-kind-of-perfection-and/) [J. D. Salinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-d-salinger-2/) > [Its really hard to be roommates with people if your suitcases are much better than theirs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/its-really-hard-to-be-roommates-with-people-if-your-suitcases-are/) [J. D. Salinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-d-salinger-2/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/j-d-salinger-2/#itemlist", "name": "14 Ifs Quotes By J. D. Salinger", "numberOfItems": 14, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It was the last game of the year and you were supposed to commit suicide or something if old Pencey didn't win.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "J. D. 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Salinger" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/if-sentiment-doesn-t-ultimately-make-fibbers-of-some-people-their/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/88f/j-d-salinger-2-3505_ifs_if-sentiment-doesn-t-ultimately-make-fib_1754144.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/88f/j-d-salinger-2-3505_ifs_if-sentiment-doesn-t-ultimately-make-fib_1754144.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/88f/j-d-salinger-2-3505_ifs_if-sentiment-doesn-t-ultimately-make-fib_1754144.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If sentiment doesn't ultimately make fibbers of some people, their natural abominable memories almost…” — J. D. 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Salinger" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/what-i-think-is-you-re-supposed-to-leave-somebody-alone-if-he-s-at/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/041/j-d-salinger-2-3505_excited_what-i-think-is-you-re-supposed-to-leave_1046353.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/041/j-d-salinger-2-3505_excited_what-i-think-is-you-re-supposed-to-leave_1046353.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/041/j-d-salinger-2-3505_excited_what-i-think-is-you-re-supposed-to-leave_1046353.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“What I think is, you're supposed to leave somebody alone if he's at least being interesting and he's getting…” — J. D. Salinger", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 5, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I kept picturing all these little kids in this big field of rye... If they're running and they don't look where they're going, I have to come out from somewhere and catch them.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "J. D. Salinger" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/i-kept-picturing-all-these-little-kids-in-this-big-field-of-rye-if/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/58b/j-d-salinger-2-3505_bigs_i-kept-picturing-all-these-little-kids-i_1043616.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/58b/j-d-salinger-2-3505_bigs_i-kept-picturing-all-these-little-kids-i_1043616.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/58b/j-d-salinger-2-3505_bigs_i-kept-picturing-all-these-little-kids-i_1043616.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I kept picturing all these little kids in this big field of rye... If they're running and they don't look…” — J. D. Salinger", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 6, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Some game. If you get on the side where all the hot-shots are, then it's a game, all right - I'll admit that. But if you get on the other side, where there aren't any hot-shots, then what's a game about it? Nothing. No game.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "J. D. 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Salinger", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If Death stepped miraculously through the glass and came in after you, in all probability you just got up and went along with him, ferociously but quietly.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "J. D. Salinger" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/if-death-stepped-miraculously-through-the-glass-and-came-in-after-you/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6a9/j-d-salinger-2-3505_death_if-death-stepped-miraculously-through-th_1378605.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6a9/j-d-salinger-2-3505_death_if-death-stepped-miraculously-through-th_1378605.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6a9/j-d-salinger-2-3505_death_if-death-stepped-miraculously-through-th_1378605.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If Death stepped miraculously through the glass and came in after you, in all probability you just got up…” — J. D. Salinger", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The thing with kids is, if they want to grab for the gold ring, you have to let them do it, and not say anything. If they fall off, they fall off, but it's bad if you say anything to them.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "J. D. Salinger" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/the-thing-with-kids-is-if-they-want-to-grab-for-the-gold-ring-you/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c08/j-d-salinger-2-3505_carousels_the-thing-with-kids-is-if-they-want-to-g_356234.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c08/j-d-salinger-2-3505_carousels_the-thing-with-kids-is-if-they-want-to-g_356234.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c08/j-d-salinger-2-3505_carousels_the-thing-with-kids-is-if-they-want-to-g_356234.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The thing with kids is, if they want to grab for the gold ring, you have to let them do it, and not say…” — J. D. Salinger", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If you have something to offer, someone will learn something from you. It's a beautiful reciprocal arrangement. And it isn't education. It's history. It's poetry.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "J. D. Salinger" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/if-you-have-something-to-offer-someone-will-learn-something-from-you/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/96b/j-d-salinger-2-3505_arrangements_if-you-have-something-to-offer-someone-w_2517756.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/96b/j-d-salinger-2-3505_arrangements_if-you-have-something-to-offer-someone-w_2517756.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/96b/j-d-salinger-2-3505_arrangements_if-you-have-something-to-offer-someone-w_2517756.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If you have something to offer, someone will learn something from you. It's a beautiful reciprocal…” — J. D. Salinger", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It's full of phonies, and all you do is study so that you can learn enough to be smart enough to be able to buy a goddam Cadillac some day, and you have to keep making believe you give a damn if the football team loses, and all you do is talk about girls and liquor and sex all day, and everybody sticks together in these dirty little goddam cliques.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "J. D. 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But I don't honestly know what kind… It may be the kind where, at the age of thirty, you sit in some bar hating everybody who comes in looking as if he might have played football in college. Then again, you may pick up just enough education to hate people who say, 'It's a secret between he and I.' Or you may end up in some business office, throwing paper clips at the nearest stenographer. I just don't know.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "J. D. 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Salinger", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I have scars on my hands from touching certain people...Certain heads, certain colours and textures of human hair leave permanent marks on me. Other things, too. Charlotte once ran away from me, outside the studio, and I grabbed her dress to stop her, to keep her near me. A yellow cotton dress I loved because it was too long for her. I still have a lemon-yellow mark on the palm of my right hand. Oh God, if I'm anything by a clinical name, I'm a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "J. D. 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They worry if they get a little scratch on them, they are always talking about have many miles they get to a gallon, and if they get a brand new car already they start thinking about trading it in for one that is even newer. I do not even like old cars. . . . I'd rather have a horse. A horse is at least human, for God's sake.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "J. D. 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