--- title: "13 Ifs Quotes By Harriet Lerner" description: "13 Ifs quotes by Harriet Lerner. Plus more from Harriet Lerner and more Ifs sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e5/harriet-lerner-4248_feels_if-we-only-listened-with-the-same-passio_391960.jpg" --- > [If we only listened with the same passion that we feel about being heard.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/if-we-only-listened-with-the-same-passion-that-we-feel-about-being/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e5/harriet-lerner-4248_feels_if-we-only-listened-with-the-same-passio_391960.jpg) > [If what we are doing with our anger is not achieving the desired result, it would seem logical to try something different.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/if-what-we-are-doing-with-our-anger-is-not-achieving-the-desired/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ec/harriet-lerner-4248_achieve_if-what-we-are-doing-with-our-anger-is-n_538666.jpg) > [If you want a recipe for relationship failure, just wait for the other person to change first.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/if-you-want-a-recipe-for-relationship-failure-just-wait-for-the-other/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/16d/harriet-lerner-4248_failure_if-you-want-a-recipe-for-relationship-fa_1425348.jpg) > [It's a cliché, but also a deep truth (as cliché's tend to be), that you can't love another person very well if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/it-s-a-clich-but-also-a-deep-truth-as-clich-s-tend-to-be-that-you-can/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4a2/harriet-lerner-4248_ifs_it-s-a-clich-but-also-a-deep-truth-as-cl_1443863.jpg) > [If you pursue a distancer, he or she will distance more. Consider it a fundamental law of physics.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/if-you-pursue-a-distancer-he-or-she-will-distance-more-consider-it-a/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4fd/harriet-lerner-4248_distance_if-you-pursue-a-distancer-he-or-she-will_2184560.jpg) > [You can't evaluate a prospective partner if you insulate your relationship from your family and friends--and his.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/you-can-t-evaluate-a-prospective-partner-if-you-insulate-your/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d69/harriet-lerner-4248_evaluate_you-can-t-evaluate-a-prospective-partner_1584750.jpg) > [The miracle is that your children will love you with all your imperfections if you can do the same for them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/the-miracle-is-that-your-children-will-love-you-with-all-your/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/515/harriet-lerner-4248_can-do_the-miracle-is-that-your-children-will-l_1704162.jpg) > [We'll always be disappointed if we believe that we can plan for a peak experience and make it happen. True joy can't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/we-ll-always-be-disappointed-if-we-believe-that-we-can-plan-for-a/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/648/harriet-lerner-4248_anticipated_we-ll-always-be-disappointed-if-we-belie_3186160.jpg) > [Anger is a tool for change when it challenges us to become more of an expert on the self and less of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/anger-is-a-tool-for-change-when-it-challenges-us-to-become-more-of-an-2/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ad5/harriet-lerner-4248_anger_anger-is-a-tool-for-change-when-it-chall_3015837.jpg) > [If you're married to an entrenched non-apologizer, it won't help to doggedly demand one. Some folks lack the self-esteem required to take…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/if-you-re-married-to-an-entrenched-non-apologizer-it-won-t-help-to/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d5c/harriet-lerner-4248_apologize_if-you-re-married-to-an-entrenched-non-a_2609406.jpg) > [Many people value criticism in the early stage of a relationship, but become allergic to it over time. Remember this: No one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/many-people-value-criticism-in-the-early-stage-of-a-relationship-but/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c31/harriet-lerner-4248_admiration_many-people-value-criticism-in-the-early_1600827.jpg) > [If you exchanged wedding vows, tape them to your bathroom mirror and read them aloud to yourself every morning along with the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/if-you-exchanged-wedding-vows-tape-them-to-your-bathroom-mirror-and/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/444/harriet-lerner-4248_bathroom_if-you-exchanged-wedding-vows-tape-them_135176.jpg) > [We're vulnerable to repeating history, especially if we don't know what's driving us. For example, it may be a family tradition to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/we-re-vulnerable-to-repeating-history-especially-if-we-don-t-know/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b2a/harriet-lerner-4248_addiction_we-re-vulnerable-to-repeating-history-es_1671435.jpg) ## Other authors on Ifs ## More by Harriet Lerner > [“Letting go of anger and hate requires us to give up the hope for a different past, along with the hope of a fantasized…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/letting-go-of-anger-and-hate-requires-us-to-give-up-the-hope-for-a/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [“There’s a widespread belief that if you have solid self-esteem you don’t need outside affirmation and praise. This is patently untrue, by the way.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/there-s-a-widespread-belief-that-if-you-have-solid-self-esteem-you/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [It is an act of courage to acknowledge our own uncertainty and sit with it for a while.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/it-is-an-act-of-courage-to-acknowledge-our-own-uncertainty-and-sit/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Silence can pose a greater threat than the difficult truth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/silence-can-pose-a-greater-threat-than-the-difficult-truth/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Nothing you say can ensure that the other person will get it, or respond the way you want. You may never exceed his threshold…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/nothing-you-say-can-ensure-that-the-other-person-will-get-it-or/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [If you exchanged wedding vows, tape them to your bathroom mirror and read them aloud to yourself every morning along with the ritual brushing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/if-you-exchanged-wedding-vows-tape-them-to-your-bathroom-mirror-and/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Kids want nothing more than for all the important adults in their life to get along.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/kids-want-nothing-more-than-for-all-the-important-adults-in-their/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [“People's sense of self worth is pivotal to their ability to look clearly at the hurt they've caused. The more solid one's sense of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/people-s-sense-of-self-worth-is-pivotal-to-their-ability-to-look/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Being able to make a sincere apology - one that says, "Yes, I get it; I screwed up. Your feelings make sense, and I'm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/being-able-to-make-a-sincere-apology-one-that-says-yes-i-get-it-i/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [“Everyone freaks out. Sometimes the best we can do with fear is befriend it. Expect it and understand that fear will always reappear. Eventually…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/everyone-freaks-out-sometimes-the-best-we-can-do-with-fear-is/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [The bolder and more courageous you are, the more you will learn about yourself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/the-bolder-and-more-courageous-you-are-the-more-you-will-learn-about/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Underground issues from one relationship or context invariably fuel our fires in another.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/underground-issues-from-one-relationship-or-context-invariably-fuel/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [There are some things for which there is no apology, and on the question of slavery, there is no adequate apology for ripping people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/there-are-some-things-for-which-there-is-no-apology-and-on-the/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Don't count on the power of your love or your nagging to create something that wasn't there to begin with.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/don-t-count-on-the-power-of-your-love-or-your-nagging-to-create/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [If we only listened with the same passion that we feel about being heard.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/if-we-only-listened-with-the-same-passion-that-we-feel-about-being/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/harriet-lerner/#itemlist", "name": "13 Ifs Quotes By Harriet Lerner", "numberOfItems": 13, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If we only listened with the same passion that we feel about being heard.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Harriet Lerner" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/if-we-only-listened-with-the-same-passion-that-we-feel-about-being/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e5/harriet-lerner-4248_feels_if-we-only-listened-with-the-same-passio_391960.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e5/harriet-lerner-4248_feels_if-we-only-listened-with-the-same-passio_391960.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e5/harriet-lerner-4248_feels_if-we-only-listened-with-the-same-passio_391960.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If we only listened with the same passion that we feel about being heard.” — Harriet Lerner", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If what we are doing with our anger is not achieving the desired result, it would seem logical to try something different.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Harriet Lerner" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/if-what-we-are-doing-with-our-anger-is-not-achieving-the-desired/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ec/harriet-lerner-4248_achieve_if-what-we-are-doing-with-our-anger-is-n_538666.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ec/harriet-lerner-4248_achieve_if-what-we-are-doing-with-our-anger-is-n_538666.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ec/harriet-lerner-4248_achieve_if-what-we-are-doing-with-our-anger-is-n_538666.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If what we are doing with our anger is not achieving the desired result, it would seem logical to try…” — Harriet Lerner", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If you want a recipe for relationship failure, just wait for the other person to change first.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Harriet Lerner" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/if-you-want-a-recipe-for-relationship-failure-just-wait-for-the-other/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/16d/harriet-lerner-4248_failure_if-you-want-a-recipe-for-relationship-fa_1425348.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/16d/harriet-lerner-4248_failure_if-you-want-a-recipe-for-relationship-fa_1425348.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/16d/harriet-lerner-4248_failure_if-you-want-a-recipe-for-relationship-fa_1425348.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If you want a recipe for relationship failure, just wait for the other person to change first.” — Harriet Lerner", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It's a cliché, but also a deep truth (as cliché's tend to be), that you can't love another person very well if you don't love yourself.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Harriet Lerner" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/it-s-a-clich-but-also-a-deep-truth-as-clich-s-tend-to-be-that-you-can/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4a2/harriet-lerner-4248_ifs_it-s-a-clich-but-also-a-deep-truth-as-cl_1443863.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4a2/harriet-lerner-4248_ifs_it-s-a-clich-but-also-a-deep-truth-as-cl_1443863.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4a2/harriet-lerner-4248_ifs_it-s-a-clich-but-also-a-deep-truth-as-cl_1443863.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It's a cliché, but also a deep truth (as cliché's tend to be), that you can't love another person very well…” — Harriet Lerner", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 5, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If you pursue a distancer, he or she will distance more. Consider it a fundamental law of physics.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Harriet Lerner" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/if-you-pursue-a-distancer-he-or-she-will-distance-more-consider-it-a/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4fd/harriet-lerner-4248_distance_if-you-pursue-a-distancer-he-or-she-will_2184560.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4fd/harriet-lerner-4248_distance_if-you-pursue-a-distancer-he-or-she-will_2184560.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4fd/harriet-lerner-4248_distance_if-you-pursue-a-distancer-he-or-she-will_2184560.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If you pursue a distancer, he or she will distance more. Consider it a fundamental law of physics.” — Harriet Lerner", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 6, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "You can't evaluate a prospective partner if you insulate your relationship from your family and friends--and his.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Harriet Lerner" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/you-can-t-evaluate-a-prospective-partner-if-you-insulate-your/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d69/harriet-lerner-4248_evaluate_you-can-t-evaluate-a-prospective-partner_1584750.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d69/harriet-lerner-4248_evaluate_you-can-t-evaluate-a-prospective-partner_1584750.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d69/harriet-lerner-4248_evaluate_you-can-t-evaluate-a-prospective-partner_1584750.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“You can't evaluate a prospective partner if you insulate your relationship from your family and friends--and…” — Harriet Lerner", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The miracle is that your children will love you with all your imperfections if you can do the same for them.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Harriet Lerner" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/the-miracle-is-that-your-children-will-love-you-with-all-your/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/515/harriet-lerner-4248_can-do_the-miracle-is-that-your-children-will-l_1704162.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/515/harriet-lerner-4248_can-do_the-miracle-is-that-your-children-will-l_1704162.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/515/harriet-lerner-4248_can-do_the-miracle-is-that-your-children-will-l_1704162.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The miracle is that your children will love you with all your imperfections if you can do the same for them.” — Harriet Lerner", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "We'll always be disappointed if we believe that we can plan for a peak experience and make it happen. True joy can't be anticipated or planned. It just strikes.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Harriet Lerner" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/we-ll-always-be-disappointed-if-we-believe-that-we-can-plan-for-a/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/648/harriet-lerner-4248_anticipated_we-ll-always-be-disappointed-if-we-belie_3186160.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/648/harriet-lerner-4248_anticipated_we-ll-always-be-disappointed-if-we-belie_3186160.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/648/harriet-lerner-4248_anticipated_we-ll-always-be-disappointed-if-we-belie_3186160.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“We'll always be disappointed if we believe that we can plan for a peak experience and make it happen. True…” — Harriet Lerner", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Anger is a tool for change when it challenges us to become more of an expert on the self and less of an expert on others. . . .If, however, we do not use our anger to define ourselves clearly in every important relationship we are in--and manage our feelings as they arise--no one else will assume this responsibility for us.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Harriet Lerner" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/anger-is-a-tool-for-change-when-it-challenges-us-to-become-more-of-an-2/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ad5/harriet-lerner-4248_anger_anger-is-a-tool-for-change-when-it-chall_3015837.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ad5/harriet-lerner-4248_anger_anger-is-a-tool-for-change-when-it-chall_3015837.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ad5/harriet-lerner-4248_anger_anger-is-a-tool-for-change-when-it-chall_3015837.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Anger is a tool for change when it challenges us to become more of an expert on the self and less of an…” — Harriet Lerner", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If you're married to an entrenched non-apologizer, it won't help to doggedly demand one. Some folks lack the self-esteem required to take responsibility for their less than honorable behaviors, feel remorse, and offer a heartfelt apology. And many people are so hard on themselves for the mistakes they make, they don't have the emotional room to admit vulnerability and apologize to a partner.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Harriet Lerner" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/if-you-re-married-to-an-entrenched-non-apologizer-it-won-t-help-to/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d5c/harriet-lerner-4248_apologize_if-you-re-married-to-an-entrenched-non-a_2609406.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d5c/harriet-lerner-4248_apologize_if-you-re-married-to-an-entrenched-non-a_2609406.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d5c/harriet-lerner-4248_apologize_if-you-re-married-to-an-entrenched-non-a_2609406.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If you're married to an entrenched non-apologizer, it won't help to doggedly demand one. Some folks lack the…” — Harriet Lerner", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Many people value criticism in the early stage of a relationship, but become allergic to it over time. Remember this: No one can survive in a marriage (at least not happily) if they feel more judged than admired. Your partner won't make use of your constructive criticism if there's not a surrounding climate of admiration and respect.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Harriet Lerner" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/many-people-value-criticism-in-the-early-stage-of-a-relationship-but/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c31/harriet-lerner-4248_admiration_many-people-value-criticism-in-the-early_1600827.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c31/harriet-lerner-4248_admiration_many-people-value-criticism-in-the-early_1600827.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c31/harriet-lerner-4248_admiration_many-people-value-criticism-in-the-early_1600827.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Many people value criticism in the early stage of a relationship, but become allergic to it over time…” — Harriet Lerner", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If you exchanged wedding vows, tape them to your bathroom mirror and read them aloud to yourself every morning along with the ritual brushing of teeth. It's not realistic to believe that you will live your promises as a daily practice -- unless you're a saint or a highly evolved Zen Buddhist. Not where marriage is concerned. But you can make a practice of returning to your vows when the going gets rough.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Harriet Lerner" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/if-you-exchanged-wedding-vows-tape-them-to-your-bathroom-mirror-and/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/444/harriet-lerner-4248_bathroom_if-you-exchanged-wedding-vows-tape-them_135176.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/444/harriet-lerner-4248_bathroom_if-you-exchanged-wedding-vows-tape-them_135176.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/444/harriet-lerner-4248_bathroom_if-you-exchanged-wedding-vows-tape-them_135176.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If you exchanged wedding vows, tape them to your bathroom mirror and read them aloud to yourself every…” — Harriet Lerner", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 13, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "We're vulnerable to repeating history, especially if we don't know what's driving us. For example, it may be a family tradition to marry someone with addiction problems, or who is an injured bird in need of caretaking. Or, you may be drawn to guys who remind you of your distant, unavailable father -- or your ill-tempered mother -- with the unconscious belief that you can take an old story, and through the power of your love, give it a new, happy ending.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Harriet Lerner" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/we-re-vulnerable-to-repeating-history-especially-if-we-don-t-know/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b2a/harriet-lerner-4248_addiction_we-re-vulnerable-to-repeating-history-es_1671435.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b2a/harriet-lerner-4248_addiction_we-re-vulnerable-to-repeating-history-es_1671435.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b2a/harriet-lerner-4248_addiction_we-re-vulnerable-to-repeating-history-es_1671435.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“We're vulnerable to repeating history, especially if we don't know what's driving us. For example, it may be…” — Harriet Lerner", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/harriet-lerner/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/harriet-lerner/", "name": "Ifs Quotes by Harriet Lerner", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/harriet-lerner/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e5/harriet-lerner-4248_feels_if-we-only-listened-with-the-same-passio_391960.jpg" }, "description": "13 Ifs quotes by Harriet Lerner. Plus more from Harriet Lerner and more Ifs sayings from other authors.", "breadcrumb": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/harriet-lerner/#breadcrumb" } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/harriet-lerner/#breadcrumb", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Topics", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/categories/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "Ifs", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 5, "name": "Harriet Lerner", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/harriet-lerner/" } ] }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```