--- title: "15 Ifs Quotes By Greg Giraldo" description: "15 Ifs quotes by Greg Giraldo. Plus more from Greg Giraldo and more Ifs sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/120/greg-giraldo-10617_american-capitalism_if-you-re-going-to-dedicate-your-career_435227.png" --- > [If you're going to dedicate your career to ranting about the excesses of American capitalism, you probably shouldn't weigh 450 pounds.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/if-you-re-going-to-dedicate-your-career-to-ranting-about-the-excesses/) [Greg Giraldo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-giraldo/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/120/greg-giraldo-10617_american-capitalism_if-you-re-going-to-dedicate-your-career_435227.png) > [If being a gangster were a prerequisite to being a musician, there'd be a lot less cello music, for example.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/if-being-a-gangster-were-a-prerequisite-to-being-a-musician-there-d/) [Greg Giraldo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-giraldo/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/844/greg-giraldo-10617_cello_if-being-a-gangster-were-a-prerequisite_1973751.png) > [If I drive my SUV I'm supporting terrorism. Okay, I'll take a taxi, Is that better?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/if-i-drive-my-suv-i-m-supporting-terrorism-okay-i-ll-take-a-taxi-is/) [Greg Giraldo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-giraldo/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ba/greg-giraldo-10617_driving_if-i-drive-my-suv-i-m-supporting-terrori_2672795.png) > [ If they \[peple\] really hate you, that means you're doing something right. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/if-they-peple-really-hate-you-that-means-you-re-doing-something-right/) [Greg Giraldo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-giraldo/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/80c/greg-giraldo-10617_doing-right_if-they-peple-really-hate-you-that-means_1156590.png) > [Even before the kids are born, you've go to make these decisions. If it's a boy, do we get him circumcised? If…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/even-before-the-kids-are-born-you-ve-go-to-make-these-decisions-if-it/) [Greg Giraldo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-giraldo/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/84d/greg-giraldo-10617_born_even-before-the-kids-are-born-you-ve-go_124847.png) > [Joke stealing is a big deal to me, but I mean, I'm not going to investigate it if it doesn't effect me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/joke-stealing-is-a-big-deal-to-me-but-i-mean-i-m-not-going-to/) [Greg Giraldo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-giraldo/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5ea/greg-giraldo-10617_big-deal_joke-stealing-is-a-big-deal-to-me-but-i_3226642.png) > [The internet's a creepy thing, especially if you have kids. It says something very creepy about the fact that I use the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/the-internet-s-a-creepy-thing-especially-if-you-have-kids-it-says/) [Greg Giraldo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-giraldo/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e7f/greg-giraldo-10617_alphabet_the-internet-s-a-creepy-thing-especially_1190738.png) > [You got a cop under five feet tall, what if he's gotta plant evidence on a high shelf? What then? What if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/you-got-a-cop-under-five-feet-tall-what-if-he-s-gotta-plant-evidence/) [Greg Giraldo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-giraldo/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/27b/greg-giraldo-10617_cop_you-got-a-cop-under-five-feet-tall-what_1250754.png) > [You try not to have a favorite when you have sons or kids. Can't have a favorite. Can't let them know know…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/you-try-not-to-have-a-favorite-when-you-have-sons-or-kids-can-t-have/) [Greg Giraldo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-giraldo/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ded/greg-giraldo-10617_ifs_you-try-not-to-have-a-favorite-when-you_2827085.png) > [Look at Thomas Jefferson. The guy had illegitimate kids in the 1700s, and they caught him last year. If you cheat on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/look-at-thomas-jefferson-the-guy-had-illegitimate-kids-in-the-1700s/) [Greg Giraldo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-giraldo/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/480/greg-giraldo-10617_caught_look-at-thomas-jefferson-the-guy-had-ill_1003054.png) > [It's all about self-esteem now. Build the kids' self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves. If everybody grows up with high self-esteem,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/it-s-all-about-self-esteem-now-build-the-kids-self-esteem-make-them/) [Greg Giraldo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-giraldo/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aaa/greg-giraldo-10617_clubs_it-s-all-about-self-esteem-now-build-the_1370394.png) > [If you spend five minutes with me or watch me try to balance my checkbook, you can only imagine the disaster I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/if-you-spend-five-minutes-with-me-or-watch-me-try-to-balance-my/) [Greg Giraldo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-giraldo/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/646/greg-giraldo-10617_anyone_if-you-spend-five-minutes-with-me-or-wat_3052609.png) > [Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life. If Bill Gates…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/sometimes-you-have-to-suffer-a-little-bit-in-your-youth-to-motivate/) [Greg Giraldo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-giraldo/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c0c/greg-giraldo-10617_bills_sometimes-you-have-to-suffer-a-little-bi_2565837.png) > [Once I saw a homeless man wearing his underwear on top of his pants. Now we say, why don't the homeless just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/once-i-saw-a-homeless-man-wearing-his-underwear-on-top-of-his-pants/) [Greg Giraldo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-giraldo/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6f6/greg-giraldo-10617_doubt_once-i-saw-a-homeless-man-wearing-his-un_2855392.jpg) > [I think all gay guys should get married. I think they should have to get married. They should have to adopt kids…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/i-think-all-gay-guys-should-get-married-i-think-they-should-have-to/) [Greg Giraldo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-giraldo/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f1/greg-giraldo-10617_boots_i-think-all-gay-guys-should-get-married_2575669.png) ## Other authors on Ifs ## More by Greg Giraldo > [Terrorism is obviously on everybody's mind. The other day my son says to me, 'Daddy, how come the bad men hate us?' How sad…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/terrorism-is-obviously-on-everybody-s-mind-the-other-day-my-son-says/) [Greg Giraldo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-giraldo/) > [The things that make me laugh are considered smart or whatever, I guess. But stuff that's self-consciously intelligent or self-consciously hip or cool, that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/the-things-that-make-me-laugh-are-considered-smart-or-whatever-i/) [Greg Giraldo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-giraldo/) > [Even before the kids are born, you've go to make these decisions. If it's a boy, do we get him circumcised? If it's a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/even-before-the-kids-are-born-you-ve-go-to-make-these-decisions-if-it/) [Greg Giraldo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-giraldo/) > [Look at the insane things the Jews believe. The Jews believe that Barbra Streisand is worth $1,000 bucks a ticket.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/look-at-the-insane-things-the-jews-believe-the-jews-believe-that/) [Greg Giraldo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-giraldo/) > [People always want to compare their dogs to having kids. That's insulting. First of all, nobody has a dog because they were too drunk…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/people-always-want-to-compare-their-dogs-to-having-kids-that-s/) [Greg Giraldo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-giraldo/) > [All the evidence we need that God is angry with us is Justin Timberlake's career.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/all-the-evidence-we-need-that-god-is-angry-with-us-is-justin/) [Greg Giraldo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-giraldo/) > [The hardest part, for real, is probably when you just don't feel like going on stage and being funny.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/the-hardest-part-for-real-is-probably-when-you-just-don-t-feel-like/) [Greg Giraldo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-giraldo/) > [There's been so much talk in the news lately about illegal aliens in the workplace. When was the last time an illegal alien stole…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/there-s-been-so-much-talk-in-the-news-lately-about-illegal-aliens-in/) [Greg Giraldo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-giraldo/) > [My advice to graduates is to stay positive. Life is short, and you'll be dead soon.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/my-advice-to-graduates-is-to-stay-positive-life-is-short-and-you-ll/) [Greg Giraldo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-giraldo/) > [If you're going to dedicate your career to ranting about the excesses of American capitalism, you probably shouldn't weigh 450 pounds.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/if-you-re-going-to-dedicate-your-career-to-ranting-about-the-excesses/) [Greg Giraldo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-giraldo/) > [When I heard you could get a disease from playing with your prairie dog, I thought, 'Wow, what a euphemism.' I thought playing with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/when-i-heard-you-could-get-a-disease-from-playing-with-your-prairie/) [Greg Giraldo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-giraldo/) > [I've always had real trouble knowing what my actual desires and goals are. I've just been dragged along by fate.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/i-ve-always-had-real-trouble-knowing-what-my-actual-desires-and-goals/) [Greg Giraldo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-giraldo/) > [A dangerous fire retardant chemical is being found in women's breast milk. My wife's breastfeeding, but you know, you gotta be an optimist. I'm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/a-dangerous-fire-retardant-chemical-is-being-found-in-women-s-breast/) [Greg Giraldo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-giraldo/) > [A good joke provides tension, and then, release of that tension. You build the tension by saying things that are controversial. The release is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/a-good-joke-provides-tension-and-then-release-of-that-tension-you/) [Greg Giraldo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-giraldo/) > [There are no black people in Iraq, so how will they know who to shoot at?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/there-are-no-black-people-in-iraq-so-how-will-they-know-who-to-shoot/) [Greg Giraldo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-giraldo/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/greg-giraldo/#itemlist", "name": "15 Ifs Quotes By Greg Giraldo", "numberOfItems": 15, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If you're going to dedicate your career to ranting about the excesses of American capitalism, you probably shouldn't weigh 450 pounds.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Greg Giraldo" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/if-you-re-going-to-dedicate-your-career-to-ranting-about-the-excesses/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/120/greg-giraldo-10617_american-capitalism_if-you-re-going-to-dedicate-your-career_435227.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/120/greg-giraldo-10617_american-capitalism_if-you-re-going-to-dedicate-your-career_435227.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/120/greg-giraldo-10617_american-capitalism_if-you-re-going-to-dedicate-your-career_435227.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If you're going to dedicate your career to ranting about the excesses of American capitalism, you probably…” — Greg Giraldo", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If being a gangster were a prerequisite to being a musician, there'd be a lot less cello music, for example.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Greg Giraldo" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/if-being-a-gangster-were-a-prerequisite-to-being-a-musician-there-d/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/844/greg-giraldo-10617_cello_if-being-a-gangster-were-a-prerequisite_1973751.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/844/greg-giraldo-10617_cello_if-being-a-gangster-were-a-prerequisite_1973751.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/844/greg-giraldo-10617_cello_if-being-a-gangster-were-a-prerequisite_1973751.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If being a gangster were a prerequisite to being a musician, there'd be a lot less cello music, for example.” — Greg Giraldo", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If I drive my SUV I'm supporting terrorism. 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It says something very creepy about the fact that I use the same machine to masturbate with as I use to teach my kid the alphabet.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Greg Giraldo" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/the-internet-s-a-creepy-thing-especially-if-you-have-kids-it-says/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e7f/greg-giraldo-10617_alphabet_the-internet-s-a-creepy-thing-especially_1190738.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e7f/greg-giraldo-10617_alphabet_the-internet-s-a-creepy-thing-especially_1190738.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e7f/greg-giraldo-10617_alphabet_the-internet-s-a-creepy-thing-especially_1190738.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The internet's a creepy thing, especially if you have kids. 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What if he's gotta chase a suspect onto a ride at Disneyland?", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Greg Giraldo" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/you-got-a-cop-under-five-feet-tall-what-if-he-s-gotta-plant-evidence/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/27b/greg-giraldo-10617_cop_you-got-a-cop-under-five-feet-tall-what_1250754.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/27b/greg-giraldo-10617_cop_you-got-a-cop-under-five-feet-tall-what_1250754.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/27b/greg-giraldo-10617_cop_you-got-a-cop-under-five-feet-tall-what_1250754.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“You got a cop under five feet tall, what if he's gotta plant evidence on a high shelf? What then? What if…” — Greg Giraldo", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "You try not to have a favorite when you have sons or kids. Can't have a favorite. Can't let them know know if you do. I don't. I treat my main son and the other two exactly the same way.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Greg Giraldo" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/you-try-not-to-have-a-favorite-when-you-have-sons-or-kids-can-t-have/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ded/greg-giraldo-10617_ifs_you-try-not-to-have-a-favorite-when-you_2827085.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ded/greg-giraldo-10617_ifs_you-try-not-to-have-a-favorite-when-you_2827085.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ded/greg-giraldo-10617_ifs_you-try-not-to-have-a-favorite-when-you_2827085.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“You try not to have a favorite when you have sons or kids. Can't have a favorite. Can't let them know know…” — Greg Giraldo", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Look at Thomas Jefferson. The guy had illegitimate kids in the 1700s, and they caught him last year. If you cheat on your wife and cover it up for 200 years, you're pretty much thinking you're home free.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Greg Giraldo" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/look-at-thomas-jefferson-the-guy-had-illegitimate-kids-in-the-1700s/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/480/greg-giraldo-10617_caught_look-at-thomas-jefferson-the-guy-had-ill_1003054.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/480/greg-giraldo-10617_caught_look-at-thomas-jefferson-the-guy-had-ill_1003054.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/480/greg-giraldo-10617_caught_look-at-thomas-jefferson-the-guy-had-ill_1003054.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Look at Thomas Jefferson. The guy had illegitimate kids in the 1700s, and they caught him last year. If you…” — Greg Giraldo", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It's all about self-esteem now. Build the kids' self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves. If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who's gonna dance in our strip-clubs?", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Greg Giraldo" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/it-s-all-about-self-esteem-now-build-the-kids-self-esteem-make-them/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aaa/greg-giraldo-10617_clubs_it-s-all-about-self-esteem-now-build-the_1370394.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aaa/greg-giraldo-10617_clubs_it-s-all-about-self-esteem-now-build-the_1370394.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aaa/greg-giraldo-10617_clubs_it-s-all-about-self-esteem-now-build-the_1370394.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It's all about self-esteem now. Build the kids' self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves. If…” — Greg Giraldo", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If you spend five minutes with me or watch me try to balance my checkbook, you can only imagine the disaster I would make of anyone's legal issues.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Greg Giraldo" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/if-you-spend-five-minutes-with-me-or-watch-me-try-to-balance-my/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/646/greg-giraldo-10617_anyone_if-you-spend-five-minutes-with-me-or-wat_3052609.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/646/greg-giraldo-10617_anyone_if-you-spend-five-minutes-with-me-or-wat_3052609.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/646/greg-giraldo-10617_anyone_if-you-spend-five-minutes-with-me-or-wat_3052609.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If you spend five minutes with me or watch me try to balance my checkbook, you can only imagine the disaster…” — Greg Giraldo", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 13, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life. If Bill Gates had got laid in high school, do you think there'd be a Microsoft?", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Greg Giraldo" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/sometimes-you-have-to-suffer-a-little-bit-in-your-youth-to-motivate/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c0c/greg-giraldo-10617_bills_sometimes-you-have-to-suffer-a-little-bi_2565837.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c0c/greg-giraldo-10617_bills_sometimes-you-have-to-suffer-a-little-bi_2565837.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c0c/greg-giraldo-10617_bills_sometimes-you-have-to-suffer-a-little-bi_2565837.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life. If…” — Greg Giraldo", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 14, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Once I saw a homeless man wearing his underwear on top of his pants. Now we say, why don't the homeless just go out and get a job? If he's wearing his underwear on top of his pants, I doubt his resume is in order, and I don't think he's going to make it too far in the interview process. In fact, I'm pretty sure that McDonald's has a no underwear over your pant policy.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Greg Giraldo" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/once-i-saw-a-homeless-man-wearing-his-underwear-on-top-of-his-pants/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6f6/greg-giraldo-10617_doubt_once-i-saw-a-homeless-man-wearing-his-un_2855392.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6f6/greg-giraldo-10617_doubt_once-i-saw-a-homeless-man-wearing-his-un_2855392.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6f6/greg-giraldo-10617_doubt_once-i-saw-a-homeless-man-wearing-his-un_2855392.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Once I saw a homeless man wearing his underwear on top of his pants. Now we say, why don't the homeless just…” — Greg Giraldo", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 15, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I think all gay guys should get married. I think they should have to get married. They should have to adopt kids because, actually, I'm getting tired of their happy-go-lucky lifestyle. I've had it with them being all happy and in shape. I could look good in denim short shorts and combat boots, too, if I had all day to do leg presses at the gym.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Greg Giraldo" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/i-think-all-gay-guys-should-get-married-i-think-they-should-have-to/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f1/greg-giraldo-10617_boots_i-think-all-gay-guys-should-get-married_2575669.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f1/greg-giraldo-10617_boots_i-think-all-gay-guys-should-get-married_2575669.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f1/greg-giraldo-10617_boots_i-think-all-gay-guys-should-get-married_2575669.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I think all gay guys should get married. I think they should have to get married. 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