--- title: "19 Ifs Quotes By Greg Behrendt" description: "19 Ifs quotes by Greg Behrendt. Plus more from Greg Behrendt and more Ifs sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/164/greg-behrendt-2271_appropriate_be-yourself-if-something-you-do-doesn-t_2811788.png" --- > [Be yourself. If something you do doesn't work, don't do it the next time. Listen to yourself - you know what appropriate…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/be-yourself-if-something-you-do-doesn-t-work-don-t-do-it-the-next/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/164/greg-behrendt-2271_appropriate_be-yourself-if-something-you-do-doesn-t_2811788.png) > [Don't idolize anyone if you can. You know, be inspired by people, certainly, but don't idolize people... Because they'll let you down.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/don-t-idolize-anyone-if-you-can-you-know-be-inspired-by-people/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d40/greg-behrendt-2271_be-inspired_don-t-idolize-anyone-if-you-can-you-know_2968466.png) > [If we're friends with someone and attracted to them, we're going to want to take it further.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/if-we-re-friends-with-someone-and-attracted-to-them-we-re-going-to/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/055/greg-behrendt-2271_attracted_if-we-re-friends-with-someone-and-attrac_2811945.png) > [If you date, you will meet your share of weirdos and jerks. That is as sure as death and taxes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/if-you-date-you-will-meet-your-share-of-weirdos-and-jerks-that-is-as/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ec4/greg-behrendt-2271_date_if-you-date-you-will-meet-your-share-of_879696.png) > [I'm certain prison is pretty rough as it is but imagine if you were a murderer and a foodie!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/i-m-certain-prison-is-pretty-rough-as-it-is-but-imagine-if-you-were-a/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/85a/greg-behrendt-2271_certain_i-m-certain-prison-is-pretty-rough-as-it_3168558.png) > [If I had butterscotch pants and a cheetah sweater... I'd be just fine.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/if-i-had-butterscotch-pants-and-a-cheetah-sweater-i-d-be-just-fine/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/70f/greg-behrendt-2271_butterscotch_if-i-had-butterscotch-pants-and-a-cheeta_2261739.png) > [He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/he-s-just-not-that-into-you-if-he-s-not-asking-you-out-because-if-he/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d89/greg-behrendt-2271_asking_he-s-just-not-that-into-you-if-he-s-not_302261.png) > [If my father is walking around going, 'Mmm, pussy,' he's thinking about eating the cat.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/if-my-father-is-walking-around-going-mmm-pussy-he-s-thinking-about/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e9/greg-behrendt-2271_cat_if-my-father-is-walking-around-going-mmm_567638.png) > [If he's choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/if-he-s-choosing-not-to-make-a-simple-effort-that-would-put-you-at/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/384/greg-behrendt-2271_ease_if-he-s-choosing-not-to-make-a-simple-ef_1593299.png) > [Sometimes we become attached to what's familiar, and sometimes we hold on to things that are safe and predictable, even if they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/sometimes-we-become-attached-to-what-s-familiar-and-sometimes-we-hold/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/70e/greg-behrendt-2271_familiar_sometimes-we-become-attached-to-what-s-f_2487747.png) > [I love to eat. That's why I got so fat; I love to eat. If I don't walk away from a meal…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/i-love-to-eat-that-s-why-i-got-so-fat-i-love-to-eat-if-i-don-t-walk/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6da/greg-behrendt-2271_dinner_i-love-to-eat-that-s-why-i-got-so-fat-i_3054682.png) > [I'm just saying, tonight, if you're going through a breakup and you're drinking, don't call. Just don't do it. Don't call. Because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/i-m-just-saying-tonight-if-you-re-going-through-a-breakup-and-you-re/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/28e/greg-behrendt-2271_booze_i-m-just-saying-tonight-if-you-re-going_1028702.png) > [I will go anywhere if you say the phrase 'there might be cake.' I would go to the Department of Motor Vehicles,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/i-will-go-anywhere-if-you-say-the-phrase-there-might-be-cake-i-would/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f89/greg-behrendt-2271_boat_i-will-go-anywhere-if-you-say-the-phrase_1108859.jpg) > [Men, for the most part, like to pursue women. We like not knowing if we can catch you. We feel rewarded when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/men-for-the-most-part-like-to-pursue-women-we-like-not-knowing-if-we/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0f6/greg-behrendt-2271_chase_men-for-the-most-part-like-to-pursue-wom_2244844.png) > [There's nothing wrong with sending a quick note if you're busy or just want to flirt, but it's hard to have any…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/there-s-nothing-wrong-with-sending-a-quick-note-if-you-re-busy-or/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/deb/greg-behrendt-2271_buffets_there-s-nothing-wrong-with-sending-a-qui_451513.png) > [He's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk. If he likes you, he'll want…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/he-s-just-not-that-into-you-if-he-only-wants-to-see-you-when-he-s/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4a2/greg-behrendt-2271_drunk_he-s-just-not-that-into-you-if-he-only-w_1817238.png) > [I always say that I love magic but I hate magicians. I like being fooled. If you wave your hands in front…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/i-always-say-that-i-love-magic-but-i-hate-magicians-i-like-being/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/905/greg-behrendt-2271_business_i-always-say-that-i-love-magic-but-i-hat_2252387.png) > [I have two rules when you come to my house on Halloween. Wear a costume - 'cause if you've manned your door…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/i-have-two-rules-when-you-come-to-my-house-on-halloween-wear-a/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5ae/greg-behrendt-2271_attitude_i-have-two-rules-when-you-come-to-my-hou_3054651.png) > [If he's not calling you, it's because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/if-he-s-not-calling-you-it-s-because-you-are-not-on-his-mind-if-he/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9aa/greg-behrendt-2271_big-things_if-he-s-not-calling-you-it-s-because-you_2607402.png) ## Other authors on Ifs ## More by Greg Behrendt > [Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/personally-when-i-m-picking-friends-i-like-the-ones-who-don-t-make-me/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) > [So, I'm 34. I'm kind of becoming an adult - kind of, I guess. But I know that I am because, the other day,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/so-i-m-34-i-m-kind-of-becoming-an-adult-kind-of-i-guess-but-i-know/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) > [Don’t be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You are deeply missable. However, he’s still the same person who just broke…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/don-t-be-flattered-that-he-misses-you-he-should-miss-you-you-are/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) > [The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/the-best-thing-that-can-happen-in-a-relationship-is-when-you-are-the/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) > [The reason it's so painful when someone disappears is you have to face the fact that the person you loved had probably left you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/the-reason-it-s-so-painful-when-someone-disappears-is-you-have-to/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) > [Cheaters are people who have a lot of stuff to work out, and they're working it out on your time and with your heart.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/cheaters-are-people-who-have-a-lot-of-stuff-to-work-out-and-they-re/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) > [Two people in a relationship either grow together or apart over time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/two-people-in-a-relationship-either-grow-together-or-apart-over-time/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) > [I do think that you can dress yourself out of a problem. The way that a haircut and a new pair of pants can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/i-do-think-that-you-can-dress-yourself-out-of-a-problem-the-way-that/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) > [We're taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side. Not in this case. In this case, assume rejection first.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/we-re-taught-that-in-life-we-should-try-to-look-on-the-bright-side/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) > [I don't have to edit myself. I get to be me, warts and all, and that's ultimately what people want, and to trust each…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/i-don-t-have-to-edit-myself-i-get-to-be-me-warts-and-all-and-that-s/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) > [He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/he-s-just-not-that-into-you-if-he-s-not-asking-you-out-because-if-he/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) > [Lying, cheating, hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who's really into you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/lying-cheating-hiding-is-the-exact-opposite-of-the-behavior-of-a-man/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) > [big plans require big action](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/big-plans-require-big-action/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) > [I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/i-ve-never-tried-to-pass-myself-off-as-anything-more-than-a-comedian/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) > [People are inspired to do remarkable things to find and be with the one they love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/people-are-inspired-to-do-remarkable-things-to-find-and-be-with-the/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/greg-behrendt/#itemlist", "name": "19 Ifs Quotes By Greg Behrendt", "numberOfItems": 19, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Be yourself. 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I'd be just fine.” — Greg Behrendt", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Greg Behrendt" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/he-s-just-not-that-into-you-if-he-s-not-asking-you-out-because-if-he/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d89/greg-behrendt-2271_asking_he-s-just-not-that-into-you-if-he-s-not_302261.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d89/greg-behrendt-2271_asking_he-s-just-not-that-into-you-if-he-s-not_302261.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d89/greg-behrendt-2271_asking_he-s-just-not-that-into-you-if-he-s-not_302261.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. 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That's why I got so fat; I love to eat. If I don't walk away from a meal hurting, I didn't do it right. If I don't walk away from Thanksgiving dinner feeling like I've been turkey-f**ked in a gingerbread prison, I didn't do it right.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Greg Behrendt" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/i-love-to-eat-that-s-why-i-got-so-fat-i-love-to-eat-if-i-don-t-walk/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6da/greg-behrendt-2271_dinner_i-love-to-eat-that-s-why-i-got-so-fat-i_3054682.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6da/greg-behrendt-2271_dinner_i-love-to-eat-that-s-why-i-got-so-fat-i_3054682.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6da/greg-behrendt-2271_dinner_i-love-to-eat-that-s-why-i-got-so-fat-i_3054682.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I love to eat. That's why I got so fat; I love to eat. If I don't walk away from a meal hurting, I didn't do…” — Greg Behrendt", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I'm just saying, tonight, if you're going through a breakup and you're drinking, don't call. Just don't do it. Don't call. Because here's the thing: booze has information in it!", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Greg Behrendt" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/i-m-just-saying-tonight-if-you-re-going-through-a-breakup-and-you-re/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/28e/greg-behrendt-2271_booze_i-m-just-saying-tonight-if-you-re-going_1028702.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/28e/greg-behrendt-2271_booze_i-m-just-saying-tonight-if-you-re-going_1028702.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/28e/greg-behrendt-2271_booze_i-m-just-saying-tonight-if-you-re-going_1028702.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I'm just saying, tonight, if you're going through a breakup and you're drinking, don't call. Just don't do…” — Greg Behrendt", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 13, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I will go anywhere if you say the phrase 'there might be cake.' I would go to the Department of Motor Vehicles, register somebody else's boat in Spanish, a language I do not speak, without ID - for cake.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Greg Behrendt" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/i-will-go-anywhere-if-you-say-the-phrase-there-might-be-cake-i-would/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f89/greg-behrendt-2271_boat_i-will-go-anywhere-if-you-say-the-phrase_1108859.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f89/greg-behrendt-2271_boat_i-will-go-anywhere-if-you-say-the-phrase_1108859.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f89/greg-behrendt-2271_boat_i-will-go-anywhere-if-you-say-the-phrase_1108859.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I will go anywhere if you say the phrase 'there might be cake.' 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Especially when the chase is a long one.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Greg Behrendt" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/men-for-the-most-part-like-to-pursue-women-we-like-not-knowing-if-we/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0f6/greg-behrendt-2271_chase_men-for-the-most-part-like-to-pursue-wom_2244844.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0f6/greg-behrendt-2271_chase_men-for-the-most-part-like-to-pursue-wom_2244844.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0f6/greg-behrendt-2271_chase_men-for-the-most-part-like-to-pursue-wom_2244844.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Men, for the most part, like to pursue women. We like not knowing if we can catch you. We feel rewarded when…” — Greg Behrendt", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 15, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "There's nothing wrong with sending a quick note if you're busy or just want to flirt, but it's hard to have any real interaction over text. In the buffet of communication, text messaging should be a side dish, not the entree.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Greg Behrendt" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/there-s-nothing-wrong-with-sending-a-quick-note-if-you-re-busy-or/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/deb/greg-behrendt-2271_buffets_there-s-nothing-wrong-with-sending-a-qui_451513.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/deb/greg-behrendt-2271_buffets_there-s-nothing-wrong-with-sending-a-qui_451513.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/deb/greg-behrendt-2271_buffets_there-s-nothing-wrong-with-sending-a-qui_451513.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“There's nothing wrong with sending a quick note if you're busy or just want to flirt, but it's hard to have…” — Greg Behrendt", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 16, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "He's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk. If he likes you, he'll want to see you when his judgment isn't impaired.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Greg Behrendt" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/he-s-just-not-that-into-you-if-he-only-wants-to-see-you-when-he-s/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4a2/greg-behrendt-2271_drunk_he-s-just-not-that-into-you-if-he-only-w_1817238.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4a2/greg-behrendt-2271_drunk_he-s-just-not-that-into-you-if-he-only-w_1817238.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4a2/greg-behrendt-2271_drunk_he-s-just-not-that-into-you-if-he-only-w_1817238.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“He's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk. 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But I don't like the way most magicians don't act like they're magical; they act like show business dicks.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Greg Behrendt" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/i-always-say-that-i-love-magic-but-i-hate-magicians-i-like-being/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/905/greg-behrendt-2271_business_i-always-say-that-i-love-magic-but-i-hat_2252387.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/905/greg-behrendt-2271_business_i-always-say-that-i-love-magic-but-i-hat_2252387.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/905/greg-behrendt-2271_business_i-always-say-that-i-love-magic-but-i-hat_2252387.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I always say that I love magic but I hate magicians. I like being fooled. 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Let me assess you and then design a candy situation for you.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Greg Behrendt" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/i-have-two-rules-when-you-come-to-my-house-on-halloween-wear-a/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5ae/greg-behrendt-2271_attitude_i-have-two-rules-when-you-come-to-my-hou_3054651.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5ae/greg-behrendt-2271_attitude_i-have-two-rules-when-you-come-to-my-hou_3054651.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5ae/greg-behrendt-2271_attitude_i-have-two-rules-when-you-come-to-my-hou_3054651.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I have two rules when you come to my house on Halloween. 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Be aware of this and realize that he's okay with disappointing you.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Greg Behrendt" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/if-he-s-not-calling-you-it-s-because-you-are-not-on-his-mind-if-he/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9aa/greg-behrendt-2271_big-things_if-he-s-not-calling-you-it-s-because-you_2607402.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9aa/greg-behrendt-2271_big-things_if-he-s-not-calling-you-it-s-because-you_2607402.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9aa/greg-behrendt-2271_big-things_if-he-s-not-calling-you-it-s-because-you_2607402.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If he's not calling you, it's because you are not on his mind. 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