---
title: "20 Ifs Quotes By Evan Esar"
description: "20 Ifs quotes by Evan Esar. Plus more from Evan Esar and more Ifs sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a98/evan-esar-1689_ifs_everything-comes-to-him-who-waits-if-he_1443038.jpg"
---

> [Everything comes to him who waits -- if he waits till it comes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-esar/everything-comes-to-him-who-waits-if-he-waits-till-it-comes/)

[Evan Esar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-esar/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a98/evan-esar-1689_ifs_everything-comes-to-him-who-waits-if-he_1443038.jpg)

> [You can always make a loan at a bank if you can show sufficient evidence that you don't need it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-esar/you-can-always-make-a-loan-at-a-bank-if-you-can-show-sufficient/)

[Evan Esar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-esar/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/889/evan-esar-1689_bank_you-can-always-make-a-loan-at-a-bank-if_2512648.jpg)

> [If it required some effort to go from today to tomorrow, some people would always remain in yesterday.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-esar/if-it-required-some-effort-to-go-from-today-to-tomorrow-some-people/)

[Evan Esar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-esar/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d05/evan-esar-1689_effort_if-it-required-some-effort-to-go-from-to_232246.jpg)

> [Next time a man tells you talk is cheap, ask him if he knows how much a session of Congress costs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-esar/next-time-a-man-tells-you-talk-is-cheap-ask-him-if-he-knows-how-much/)

[Evan Esar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-esar/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ad2/evan-esar-1689_asks_next-time-a-man-tells-you-talk-is-cheap_2282147.jpg)

> [Many people will laugh at the drop of a hat, especially if the man is still in it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-esar/many-people-will-laugh-at-the-drop-of-a-hat-especially-if-the-man-is/)

[Evan Esar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-esar/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/875/evan-esar-1689_comedy_many-people-will-laugh-at-the-drop-of-a_2574618.jpg)

> [Some people would never get any exercise at all if they didn't have to walk to their cars.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-esar/some-people-would-never-get-any-exercise-at-all-if-they-didn-t-have/)

[Evan Esar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-esar/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/623/evan-esar-1689_car_some-people-would-never-get-any-exercise_2673267.jpg)

> [To a teenager, it cannot be true love if her family approves of him.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-esar/to-a-teenager-it-cannot-be-true-love-if-her-family-approves-of-him/)

[Evan Esar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-esar/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/faa/evan-esar-1689_approval_to-a-teenager-it-cannot-be-true-love-if_2665749.jpg)

> [Don't tear your hair out over a woman; it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-esar/don-t-tear-your-hair-out-over-a-woman-it-ll-be-harder-to-attract-the/)

[Evan Esar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-esar/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/34e/evan-esar-1689_attract_don-t-tear-your-hair-out-over-a-woman-it_431566.jpg)

> [Congress would give the people what they wanted if the people knew what they wanted, and if Congress could give it to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-esar/congress-would-give-the-people-what-they-wanted-if-the-people-knew/)

[Evan Esar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-esar/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c63/evan-esar-1689_congress_congress-would-give-the-people-what-they_1130790.jpg)

> [There would be no population explosion if people who are trying to keep the wolf from the door wouldn't let the stork…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-esar/there-would-be-no-population-explosion-if-people-who-are-trying-to/)

[Evan Esar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-esar/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bac/evan-esar-1689_doors_there-would-be-no-population-explosion-i_356760.jpg)

> [It's surprising how much wisdom every man possesses -- if not for his own affairs, then for the affairs of others.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-esar/it-s-surprising-how-much-wisdom-every-man-possesses-if-not-for-his/)

[Evan Esar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-esar/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2c4/evan-esar-1689_affair_it-s-surprising-how-much-wisdom-every-ma_1798114.jpg)

> [If you want to be different nowadays, just act normal.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-esar/if-you-want-to-be-different-nowadays-just-act-normal/)

[Evan Esar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-esar/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/790/evan-esar-1689_differences_if-you-want-to-be-different-nowadays-jus_999489.jpg)

> [If you want to be successful, you must either have a chance or take one.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-esar/if-you-want-to-be-successful-you-must-either-have-a-chance-or-take-one/)

[Evan Esar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-esar/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eb4/evan-esar-1689_being-successful_if-you-want-to-be-successful-you-must-ei_1026905.jpg)

> [A woman is always ready to describe another woman as charming, but only if the other woman is not charming.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-esar/a-woman-is-always-ready-to-describe-another-woman-as-charming-but/)

[Evan Esar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-esar/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/794/evan-esar-1689_another-woman_a-woman-is-always-ready-to-describe-anot_1240081.jpg)

> [Many a woman would get a divorce if she could do it without making her husband happy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-esar/many-a-woman-would-get-a-divorce-if-she-could-do-it-without-making/)

[Evan Esar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-esar/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/465/evan-esar-1689_after-divorce_many-a-woman-would-get-a-divorce-if-she_331749.jpg)

> [If you can't bear to have your face stepped on, don't try to climb the ladder of success.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-esar/if-you-can-t-bear-to-have-your-face-stepped-on-don-t-try-to-climb-the/)

[Evan Esar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-esar/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d5f/evan-esar-1689_bears_if-you-can-t-bear-to-have-your-face-step_1634142.jpg)

> [If you don't like to make excuses or apologies, stop making promises.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-esar/if-you-don-t-like-to-make-excuses-or-apologies-stop-making-promises/)

[Evan Esar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-esar/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f8/evan-esar-1689_apology_if-you-don-t-like-to-make-excuses-or-apo_3142309.jpg)

> [The word impossible is peculiar because if you examine it closely, you'll find that most of it is possible.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-esar/the-word-impossible-is-peculiar-because-if-you-examine-it-closely-you/)

[Evan Esar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-esar/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7a9/evan-esar-1689_ifs_the-word-impossible-is-peculiar-because_97346.jpg)

> [If you want to know how little your dignity is worth, take it to the pawnbroker.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-esar/if-you-want-to-know-how-little-your-dignity-is-worth-take-it-to-the/)

[Evan Esar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-esar/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/37d/evan-esar-1689_dignity_if-you-want-to-know-how-little-your-dign_2826685.jpg)

> [A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-esar/a-homosexual-is-the-only-man-who-ever-meets-a-man-he-would-like-to/)

[Evan Esar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-esar/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/16f/evan-esar-1689_homosexual_a-homosexual-is-the-only-man-who-ever-me_2957975.jpg)

## Other authors on Ifs

## More by Evan Esar

> [Life is a battle of wits, and many people have to fight it unarmed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-esar/life-is-a-battle-of-wits-and-many-people-have-to-fight-it-unarmed/)

[Evan Esar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-esar/)

> [A vacation is like love - anticipated with pleasure, experienced with discomfort, and remembered with nostalgia.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-esar/a-vacation-is-like-love-anticipated-with-pleasure-experienced-with/)

[Evan Esar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-esar/)

> [Las Vegas is a resort whose two chief sources of income are seven and eleven.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-esar/las-vegas-is-a-resort-whose-two-chief-sources-of-income-are-seven-and/)

[Evan Esar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-esar/)

> [It's not the loss of life that makes the death bitter -- it's the obituaries.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-esar/it-s-not-the-loss-of-life-that-makes-the-death-bitter-it-s-the/)

[Evan Esar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-esar/)

> [“Let those who want to, arrive Let those who want to, leave Let those who want to, stay With out harm to me or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-esar/let-those-who-want-to-arrive-let-those-who-want-to-leave-let-those/)

[Evan Esar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-esar/)

> [The only medicine that needs no prescription, has no unpleasant taste, and costs no money is laughter.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-esar/the-only-medicine-that-needs-no-prescription-has-no-unpleasant-taste/)

[Evan Esar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-esar/)

> [The word impossible is peculiar because if you examine it closely, you'll find that most of it is possible.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-esar/the-word-impossible-is-peculiar-because-if-you-examine-it-closely-you/)

[Evan Esar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-esar/)

> [Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-esar/walking-isn-t-a-lost-art-one-must-by-some-means-get-to-the-garage/)

[Evan Esar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-esar/)

> [There are two kinds of leaders: those who are interested in the flock, and those who are interested in the fleece.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-esar/there-are-two-kinds-of-leaders-those-who-are-interested-in-the-flock/)

[Evan Esar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-esar/)

> [The man who avoids debt doesn't have to worry about avoiding his creditors.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-esar/the-man-who-avoids-debt-doesn-t-have-to-worry-about-avoiding-his/)

[Evan Esar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-esar/)

> [The diamond is the hardest stone -- to get.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-esar/the-diamond-is-the-hardest-stone-to-get/)

[Evan Esar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-esar/)

> [The lecturer who is full of his subject is usually very slow in emptying himself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-esar/the-lecturer-who-is-full-of-his-subject-is-usually-very-slow-in/)

[Evan Esar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-esar/)

> [Etymology: from Latin ad-, "to" + visum, past participle of videre, "to see". Advice is what you get from your parents when you are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-esar/etymology-from-latin-ad-to-visum-past-participle-of-videre-to-see/)

[Evan Esar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-esar/)

> [A husband may forget where he went on his honeymoon, but he never forgets why.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-esar/a-husband-may-forget-where-he-went-on-his-honeymoon-but-he-never/)

[Evan Esar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-esar/)

> [You can always tell the golfer who's winning: he's the one who keeps telling his opponent that it's only a game.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-esar/you-can-always-tell-the-golfer-who-s-winning-he-s-the-one-who-keeps/)

[Evan Esar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-esar/)

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