--- title: "10 Ifs Quotes By Denis Leary" description: "10 Ifs quotes by Denis Leary. Plus more from Denis Leary and more Ifs sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/acf/denis-leary-1350_certain_you-get-to-a-certain-point-especially-if_221835.png" --- > [You get to a certain point, especially if you're a comedian, where people think certain things. It's like, I don't take the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denis-leary/you-get-to-a-certain-point-especially-if-you-re-a-comedian-where/) [Denis Leary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denis-leary/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/acf/denis-leary-1350_certain_you-get-to-a-certain-point-especially-if_221835.png) > [The second season is generally easier do because you know the actors better and they know the characters better and if everybody…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denis-leary/the-second-season-is-generally-easier-do-because-you-know-the-actors/) [Denis Leary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denis-leary/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/928/denis-leary-1350_actors_the-second-season-is-generally-easier-do_2944080.png) > [Jerry Lewis has been married twenty times. He gets married on a Tuesday, they find his wife dead in a swimming pool…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denis-leary/jerry-lewis-has-been-married-twenty-times-he-gets-married-on-a/) [Denis Leary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denis-leary/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/81e/denis-leary-1350_enough_jerry-lewis-has-been-married-twenty-time_966867.png) > [My wife and I were poor when I started but we struggled along until things happened for me in my thirties. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denis-leary/my-wife-and-i-were-poor-when-i-started-but-we-struggled-along-until/) [Denis Leary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denis-leary/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e59/denis-leary-1350_happened_my-wife-and-i-were-poor-when-i-started-b_907913.png) > [There's nothing wrong with an actor that can't improvise, but if you're going to improvise, you gotta make sure you got people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denis-leary/there-s-nothing-wrong-with-an-actor-that-can-t-improvise-but-if-you/) [Denis Leary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denis-leary/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/62e/denis-leary-1350_actor_there-s-nothing-wrong-with-an-actor-that_969453.png) > [If the world somehow actually ends tomorrow, let all forget about the Mayans and just agree it's the NHL's fault](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denis-leary/if-the-world-somehow-actually-ends-tomorrow-let-all-forget-about-the/) [Denis Leary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denis-leary/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ee/denis-leary-1350_agree_if-the-world-somehow-actually-ends-tomor_1524268.png) > [Yeah, well, if you eat red meat, it stays in your colon for fifteen years!" Good! I paid for it; I want…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denis-leary/yeah-well-if-you-eat-red-meat-it-stays-in-your-colon-for-fifteen/) [Denis Leary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denis-leary/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c4b/denis-leary-1350_ass_yeah-well-if-you-eat-red-meat-it-stays-i_2094235.png) > [Dustin Hoffman said this one time, that if he hadn't made it as a film star, he would still be happy as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denis-leary/dustin-hoffman-said-this-one-time-that-if-he-hadn-t-made-it-as-a-film/) [Denis Leary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denis-leary/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e90/denis-leary-1350_actor_dustin-hoffman-said-this-one-time-that-i_697639.png) > [That's why I'm glad Jesus died when he did. Because if he lived to be 40, he would have ended up like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denis-leary/that-s-why-i-m-glad-jesus-died-when-he-did-because-if-he-lived-to-be/) [Denis Leary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denis-leary/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6ef/denis-leary-1350_beer_that-s-why-i-m-glad-jesus-died-when-he-d_548621.png) > [I certainly know guys in comedy, I know some actors, and I definitely know some musicians, who have survived to a certain…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denis-leary/i-certainly-know-guys-in-comedy-i-know-some-actors-and-i-definitely/) [Denis Leary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denis-leary/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9ba/denis-leary-1350_ability_i-certainly-know-guys-in-comedy-i-know-s_412515.jpg) ## Other authors on Ifs ## More by Denis Leary > [I'm sick and tired of our generation being called the TV generation. What do you expect? We watched Lee Harvey Oswald get his brains…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denis-leary/i-m-sick-and-tired-of-our-generation-being-called-the-tv-generation/) [Denis Leary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denis-leary/) > [My father left Ireland because he did not want to muck horse manure for the rest of his life, and he wanted to come…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denis-leary/my-father-left-ireland-because-he-did-not-want-to-muck-horse-manure/) [Denis Leary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denis-leary/) > [I've eaten things that didn't complain this much.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denis-leary/i-ve-eaten-things-that-didn-t-complain-this-much/) [Denis Leary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denis-leary/) > [What I've learned is that life is too short and movies are too long.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denis-leary/what-i-ve-learned-is-that-life-is-too-short-and-movies-are-too-long/) [Denis Leary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denis-leary/) > [Yeah, I love living in New York, man, and people who live in New York, we wear that fact like a badge right on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denis-leary/yeah-i-love-living-in-new-york-man-and-people-who-live-in-new-york-we/) [Denis Leary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denis-leary/) > [I've always had a thing for Catwoman. Michelle Pfeiffer or Halle Berry in tight leather pants, with the boots - I'm pretty good with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denis-leary/i-ve-always-had-a-thing-for-catwoman-michelle-pfeiffer-or-halle-berry/) [Denis Leary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denis-leary/) > [I spent a long time working in the movies to figure out that kind of acting and also how to write and produce for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denis-leary/i-spent-a-long-time-working-in-the-movies-to-figure-out-that-kind-of/) [Denis Leary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denis-leary/) > [I do have to say that I think that President Obama is the greatest President in the history of all of our Presidents, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denis-leary/i-do-have-to-say-that-i-think-that-president-obama-is-the-greatest/) [Denis Leary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denis-leary/) > [I don't want to see a 'Sopranos' movie. This is just me. I like to think the end is where it was on TV…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denis-leary/i-don-t-want-to-see-a-sopranos-movie-this-is-just-me-i-like-to-think/) [Denis Leary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denis-leary/) > [The best comedy audiences in the country and this is tried and true, I'm not just saying it, in my opinion are Boston, Atlanta,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denis-leary/the-best-comedy-audiences-in-the-country-and-this-is-tried-and-true-i/) [Denis Leary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denis-leary/) > [Happy Easter everyone! Jesus dies, comes back from the dead - and we get chocolate eggs. It's like turn-down service from God.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denis-leary/happy-easter-everyone-jesus-dies-comes-back-from-the-dead-and-we-get/) [Denis Leary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denis-leary/) > [I believe in prescription drugs. I believe in feeling better.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denis-leary/i-believe-in-prescription-drugs-i-believe-in-feeling-better/) [Denis Leary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denis-leary/) > [You really want to have a back-up plan, so when you don't feel like acting, or you're getting older and settling down, you can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denis-leary/you-really-want-to-have-a-back-up-plan-so-when-you-don-t-feel-like/) [Denis Leary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denis-leary/) > [You try to - you want to fly on both sides of the political fence because that's where the - where the comedy is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denis-leary/you-try-to-you-want-to-fly-on-both-sides-of-the-political-fence/) [Denis Leary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denis-leary/) > [I'm not really a Spider-Man fan. I'm more of a Batman guy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denis-leary/i-m-not-really-a-spider-man-fan-i-m-more-of-a-batman-guy/) [Denis Leary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denis-leary/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/denis-leary/#itemlist", "name": "10 Ifs Quotes By Denis Leary", "numberOfItems": 10, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "You get to a certain point, especially if you're a comedian, where people think certain things. 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I paid for it; I want it in my ass, okay? I want them to find a meat sweater from my esophagus to my asshole when they open me up in the end! \"This guy's covered in meat! He's Meat-Man! He's Meat-Tracheotomy-Man!", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Denis Leary" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denis-leary/yeah-well-if-you-eat-red-meat-it-stays-in-your-colon-for-fifteen/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c4b/denis-leary-1350_ass_yeah-well-if-you-eat-red-meat-it-stays-i_2094235.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c4b/denis-leary-1350_ass_yeah-well-if-you-eat-red-meat-it-stays-i_2094235.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c4b/denis-leary-1350_ass_yeah-well-if-you-eat-red-meat-it-stays-i_2094235.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Yeah, well, if you eat red meat, it stays in your colon for fifteen years!\" Good! I paid for it; I want it…” — Denis Leary", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Dustin Hoffman said this one time, that if he hadn't made it as a film star, he would still be happy as a character actor because he was a character actor because of his face from day one, so he would always work in the theater.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Denis Leary" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denis-leary/dustin-hoffman-said-this-one-time-that-if-he-hadn-t-made-it-as-a-film/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e90/denis-leary-1350_actor_dustin-hoffman-said-this-one-time-that-i_697639.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e90/denis-leary-1350_actor_dustin-hoffman-said-this-one-time-that-i_697639.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e90/denis-leary-1350_actor_dustin-hoffman-said-this-one-time-that-i_697639.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Dustin Hoffman said this one time, that if he hadn't made it as a film star, he would still be happy as a…” — Denis Leary", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "That's why I'm glad Jesus died when he did. Because if he lived to be 40, he would have ended up like Elvis. He was famous already at that point. If he lived to be 40, he'd be walking around Jerusalem with a big fat beer gut and black side burns going, Damn, I'm the son of God. Give me a cheeseburger and french fries right now.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Denis Leary" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denis-leary/that-s-why-i-m-glad-jesus-died-when-he-did-because-if-he-lived-to-be/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6ef/denis-leary-1350_beer_that-s-why-i-m-glad-jesus-died-when-he-d_548621.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6ef/denis-leary-1350_beer_that-s-why-i-m-glad-jesus-died-when-he-d_548621.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6ef/denis-leary-1350_beer_that-s-why-i-m-glad-jesus-died-when-he-d_548621.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“That's why I'm glad Jesus died when he did. Because if he lived to be 40, he would have ended up like Elvis…” — Denis Leary", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I certainly know guys in comedy, I know some actors, and I definitely know some musicians, who have survived to a certain age and make a good living doing what they do, but nobody knows who they are. They wake up every day and they have the ability to get paid practicing their art, but underneath it all, if you scratched the surface, you still get, \"If I only had my own show . . .,\" or \"If I only had my own band . . .\" It's what people always do when they want to be their own star.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Denis Leary" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denis-leary/i-certainly-know-guys-in-comedy-i-know-some-actors-and-i-definitely/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9ba/denis-leary-1350_ability_i-certainly-know-guys-in-comedy-i-know-s_412515.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9ba/denis-leary-1350_ability_i-certainly-know-guys-in-comedy-i-know-s_412515.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9ba/denis-leary-1350_ability_i-certainly-know-guys-in-comedy-i-know-s_412515.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I certainly know guys in comedy, I know some actors, and I definitely know some musicians, who have survived…” — Denis Leary", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/denis-leary/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/denis-leary/", "name": "Ifs Quotes by Denis Leary", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/denis-leary/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/acf/denis-leary-1350_certain_you-get-to-a-certain-point-especially-if_221835.png" }, "description": "10 Ifs quotes by Denis Leary. 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