---
title: "28 Ifs Quotes By Chuck Klosterman"
description: "28 Ifs quotes by Chuck Klosterman. Plus more from Chuck Klosterman and more Ifs sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee1/chuck-klosterman-804_costumes_in-some-ways-halloween-is-much-easier-fo_2427067.png"
---

> [In some ways, Halloween is much easier for women. They can just dress as sluts, and it's kind of a costume, if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/in-some-ways-halloween-is-much-easier-for-women-they-can-just-dress/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee1/chuck-klosterman-804_costumes_in-some-ways-halloween-is-much-easier-fo_2427067.png)

> [Perhaps we humans are still in command, and perhaps there really will be a conventional robot war in the not-so-distant future. If…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/perhaps-we-humans-are-still-in-command-and-perhaps-there-really-will-2/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4a9/chuck-klosterman-804_command_perhaps-we-humans-are-still-in-command-a_3014848.png)

> [If you don't have a job, you don't have a fear of losing it. You fear having to get one.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/if-you-don-t-have-a-job-you-don-t-have-a-fear-of-losing-it-you-fear/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/308/chuck-klosterman-804_fear_if-you-don-t-have-a-job-you-don-t-have-a_3117189.png)

> [If Donald Trump loses badly, it could mean the end of the GOP as one of the two significant parties.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/if-donald-trump-loses-badly-it-could-mean-the-end-of-the-gop-as-one/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/16a/chuck-klosterman-804_donald-trump_if-donald-trump-loses-badly-it-could-mea_496976.jpg)

> [I'm good at being by myself. I guess if you're a writer you get used to that.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/i-m-good-at-being-by-myself-i-guess-if-you-re-a-writer-you-get-used/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/063/chuck-klosterman-804_good_i-m-good-at-being-by-myself-i-guess-if-y_716832.png)

> [If you can't swim, the idea of being in nine feet of water is terrifying, much less the ocean.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/if-you-can-t-swim-the-idea-of-being-in-nine-feet-of-water-is/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ec/chuck-klosterman-804_feet_if-you-can-t-swim-the-idea-of-being-in-n_2782867.png)

> [Sure there's a percentage of people who are like, "It snowed in May. I don't believe in climate change." Well, that's crazy,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/sure-there-s-a-percentage-of-people-who-are-like-it-snowed-in-may-i/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e8c/chuck-klosterman-804_believe_sure-there-s-a-percentage-of-people-who_2268876.png)

> [If I'm around spiders, my fear isn't so much the spider, but my fear is that I'm somewhere rustic and that spiders…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/if-i-m-around-spiders-my-fear-isn-t-so-much-the-spider-but-my-fear-is/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/283/chuck-klosterman-804_crawling_if-i-m-around-spiders-my-fear-isn-t-so-m_2526046.png)

> [I like storms. I would say I actively like stormy weather. I would not be afraid of them. I think that if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/i-like-storms-i-would-say-i-actively-like-stormy-weather-i-would-not/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/96b/chuck-klosterman-804_careers_i-like-storms-i-would-say-i-actively-lik_1808274.png)

> [I hate motorcycles. Because if I hit one, even if it's not my fault, if I've done nothing wrong, I'm not charged…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/i-hate-motorcycles-because-if-i-hit-one-even-if-it-s-not-my-fault-if/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/105/chuck-klosterman-804_dies_i-hate-motorcycles-because-if-i-hit-one_1404140.png)

> [I love music, right? I can't say "I'm only going to listen to a physical medium," because there's a bunch of meaningful…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/i-love-music-right-i-can-t-say-i-m-only-going-to-listen-to-a-physical/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a8f/chuck-klosterman-804_able_i-love-music-right-i-can-t-say-i-m-only_531336.png)

> [“If someone breaks your heart, just punch them in the face. Oh sure, it seems obvious now, but you’d be amazed at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/if-someone-breaks-your-heart-just-punch-them-in-the-face-oh-sure-it/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/440/chuck-klosterman-804_amazed_if-someone-breaks-your-heart-just-punch_1627896.png)

> [If someone feels negative about the way society or culture seems to be going, what it probably suggests is that it's just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/if-someone-feels-negative-about-the-way-society-or-culture-seems-to/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/da1/chuck-klosterman-804_comfortable_if-someone-feels-negative-about-the-way_1205286.jpg)

> [I hate the point where you have to get off the ladder, or get back on. I don't know if that's a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/i-hate-the-point-where-you-have-to-get-off-the-ladder-or-get-back-on/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/529/chuck-klosterman-804_fall_i-hate-the-point-where-you-have-to-get-o_3146665.jpg)

> [The problem a lot of writers have is that they really, really enjoy people saying, "You're brilliant." They let their self-perception be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/the-problem-a-lot-of-writers-have-is-that-they-really-really-enjoy/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f41/chuck-klosterman-804_able_the-problem-a-lot-of-writers-have-is-tha_568572.jpg)

> [And it's kind of my own fault too, in the sense that I've used my own life as a literary device so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/and-it-s-kind-of-my-own-fault-too-in-the-sense-that-i-ve-used-my-own/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/10a/chuck-klosterman-804_abstract_and-it-s-kind-of-my-own-fault-too-in-the_2559324.jpg)

> [I used to watch a lot of documentaries about Satanic possession - and I don't know if this is racist or not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/i-used-to-watch-a-lot-of-documentaries-about-satanic-possession-and-i/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d57/chuck-klosterman-804_america_i-used-to-watch-a-lot-of-documentaries-a_1774698.jpg)

> [I think that most technology is positive in the short term, and negative in the long term. I wonder, if somebody looked…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/i-think-that-most-technology-is-positive-in-the-short-term-and/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ac/chuck-klosterman-804_21st-century_i-think-that-most-technology-is-positive_179251.png)

> [Cars are the most central thing in America, in a lot of ways. They've probably influenced the way we live more than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/cars-are-the-most-central-thing-in-america-in-a-lot-of-ways-they-ve/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c24/chuck-klosterman-804_america_cars-are-the-most-central-thing-in-ameri_2861546.png)

> [Prior to the early 20th century, for the totality of humankind's existence if they saw something moving, it meant it was there.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/prior-to-the-early-20th-century-for-the-totality-of-humankind-s/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/01f/chuck-klosterman-804_20th-century_prior-to-the-early-20th-century-for-the_1645905.png)

> [If somebody asked for the first draft of something I'd written, it'd probably be pretty close to whatever got published. I get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/if-somebody-asked-for-the-first-draft-of-something-i-d-written-it-d/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/017/chuck-klosterman-804_clear_if-somebody-asked-for-the-first-draft-of_1566296.png)

> [I can tell when I've met a bad journalist when they say, "I've met Madonna," or "I know Marilyn Manson." Because I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/i-can-tell-when-i-ve-met-a-bad-journalist-when-they-say-i-ve-met/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c9c/chuck-klosterman-804_able_i-can-tell-when-i-ve-met-a-bad-journalis_2450906.jpg)

> [In the Far East, it's very normal for people to wear masks in flu season. I don't know if I'd ever do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/in-the-far-east-it-s-very-normal-for-people-to-wear-masks-in-flu/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8af/chuck-klosterman-804_east_in-the-far-east-it-s-very-normal-for-peo_2859967.png)

> [People hate the feeling that technology is dragging them into the future, that they're not really following what's happening, but being forced…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/people-hate-the-feeling-that-technology-is-dragging-them-into-the/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c2/chuck-klosterman-804_feelings_people-hate-the-feeling-that-technology_2953330.png)

> [Every possible opinion is authored about everything. What's going to eventually happen is someone will look back on this period and have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/every-possible-opinion-is-authored-about-everything-what-s-going-to/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/758/chuck-klosterman-804_happens_every-possible-opinion-is-authored-about_1925031.png)

> [The debate about climate change in many ways is tied to the petroleum industry. If the value of petroleum was considerably less…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/the-debate-about-climate-change-in-many-ways-is-tied-to-the-petroleum/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/99c/chuck-klosterman-804_change_the-debate-about-climate-change-in-many_1044384.png)

> [If you move furniture all day, if you're a construction worker, if you have a job that's real physical, this idea that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/if-you-move-furniture-all-day-if-you-re-a-construction-worker-if-you/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f10/chuck-klosterman-804_construction_if-you-move-furniture-all-day-if-you-re_1260064.jpg)

> [It drives me crazy to do readings of my books, because if I read anything I've written in the past, I'd like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/it-drives-me-crazy-to-do-readings-of-my-books-because-if-i-read/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c8b/chuck-klosterman-804_book_it-drives-me-crazy-to-do-readings-of-my_2494715.jpg)

## Other authors on Ifs

## More by Chuck Klosterman

> [The only people who think the Internet is a calamity are people whose lives have been hurt by it; the only people who insist…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/the-only-people-who-think-the-internet-is-a-calamity-are-people-whose/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

> [“I suppose we'll never know what really happened in that room, though he did tell police, "I did it because I'm a dirty dog."…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/i-suppose-we-ll-never-know-what-really-happened-in-that-room-though/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

> [Do you know people who insist they like 'all kinds of music'? That actually means they like no kinds of music.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/do-you-know-people-who-insist-they-like-all-kinds-of-music-that/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

> [Let's say Twitter existed during the Civil War. We would have a better understanding of people in the Confederacy who were against slavery, people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/let-s-say-twitter-existed-during-the-civil-war-we-would-have-a-better/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

> [All my friends are rock critics, so we talk about rock criticism a lot. Because of that, in order to be part of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/all-my-friends-are-rock-critics-so-we-talk-about-rock-criticism-a-lot/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

> [If rain is God crying, I think God is drunk and his girlfriend just slept with Zeus.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/if-rain-is-god-crying-i-think-god-is-drunk-and-his-girlfriend-just/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

> [But no matter how many times we re-rank the presidents, in another 200 years, the top presidents will still be Washington and Lincoln and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/but-no-matter-how-many-times-we-re-rank-the-presidents-in-another-200/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

> [Different critics go to different lengths to disagree with that sentiment, but ultimately, they're the person experiencing this art, and whatever judgment or taste…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/different-critics-go-to-different-lengths-to-disagree-with-that/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

> [First, you must love yourself. And if you do that convincingly enough, others will love you too much.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/first-you-must-love-yourself-and-if-you-do-that-convincingly-enough/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

> [Anyone who claims to be good at lying is obviously bad at lying. Thus - as a writer myself - I cannot comment on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/anyone-who-claims-to-be-good-at-lying-is-obviously-bad-at-lying-thus/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

> [“I care about strangers when they're abstractions but feel almost nothing when they are literally in front of me. They seem like unnamed characters…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/i-care-about-strangers-when-they-re-abstractions-but-feel-almost/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

> [“Toby Keith writes songs like 1993's "Should've Been a Cowboy," and what's compelling is that you can't deconstruct its message. "Should've Been a Cowboy"…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/toby-keith-writes-songs-like-1993-s-should-ve-been-a-cowboy-and-what/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

> [Some say that time is like water that flows around us (like a stone in the river) and some say we flow with time…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/some-say-that-time-is-like-water-that-flows-around-us-like-a-stone-in/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

> [ \[On political correctness:\] Any intended message mattered less than the received message, and every received message could be interpreted in whatever way the receiver… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/on-political-correctness-any-intended-message-mattered-less-than-the/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

> [In baseball and sex, cliches are usually true: pitching beats hitting, and people always want to be loved by anyone who doesn't seem to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/in-baseball-and-sex-cliches-are-usually-true-pitching-beats-hitting/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "ItemList",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/chuck-klosterman/#itemlist",
            "name": "28 Ifs Quotes By Chuck Klosterman",
            "numberOfItems": 28,
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "In some ways, Halloween is much easier for women. They can just dress as sluts, and it's kind of a costume, if they never do any other time.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Chuck Klosterman"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/in-some-ways-halloween-is-much-easier-for-women-they-can-just-dress/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee1/chuck-klosterman-804_costumes_in-some-ways-halloween-is-much-easier-fo_2427067.png",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee1/chuck-klosterman-804_costumes_in-some-ways-halloween-is-much-easier-fo_2427067.png",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee1/chuck-klosterman-804_costumes_in-some-ways-halloween-is-much-easier-fo_2427067.png",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“In some ways, Halloween is much easier for women. They can just dress as sluts, and it's kind of a costume…” — Chuck Klosterman",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Perhaps we humans are still in command, and perhaps there really will be a conventional robot war in the not-so-distant future. If so, let's roll.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Chuck Klosterman"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/perhaps-we-humans-are-still-in-command-and-perhaps-there-really-will-2/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4a9/chuck-klosterman-804_command_perhaps-we-humans-are-still-in-command-a_3014848.png",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4a9/chuck-klosterman-804_command_perhaps-we-humans-are-still-in-command-a_3014848.png",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4a9/chuck-klosterman-804_command_perhaps-we-humans-are-still-in-command-a_3014848.png",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“Perhaps we humans are still in command, and perhaps there really will be a conventional robot war in the…” — Chuck Klosterman",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "If you don't have a job, you don't have a fear of losing it. You fear having to get one.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Chuck Klosterman"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/if-you-don-t-have-a-job-you-don-t-have-a-fear-of-losing-it-you-fear/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/308/chuck-klosterman-804_fear_if-you-don-t-have-a-job-you-don-t-have-a_3117189.png",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/308/chuck-klosterman-804_fear_if-you-don-t-have-a-job-you-don-t-have-a_3117189.png",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/308/chuck-klosterman-804_fear_if-you-don-t-have-a-job-you-don-t-have-a_3117189.png",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“If you don't have a job, you don't have a fear of losing it. You fear having to get one.” — Chuck Klosterman",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "If Donald Trump loses badly, it could mean the end of the GOP as one of the two significant parties.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Chuck Klosterman"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/if-donald-trump-loses-badly-it-could-mean-the-end-of-the-gop-as-one/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/16a/chuck-klosterman-804_donald-trump_if-donald-trump-loses-badly-it-could-mea_496976.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/16a/chuck-klosterman-804_donald-trump_if-donald-trump-loses-badly-it-could-mea_496976.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/16a/chuck-klosterman-804_donald-trump_if-donald-trump-loses-badly-it-could-mea_496976.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“If Donald Trump loses badly, it could mean the end of the GOP as one of the two significant parties.” — Chuck Klosterman",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 5,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I'm good at being by myself. I guess if you're a writer you get used to that.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Chuck Klosterman"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/i-m-good-at-being-by-myself-i-guess-if-you-re-a-writer-you-get-used/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/063/chuck-klosterman-804_good_i-m-good-at-being-by-myself-i-guess-if-y_716832.png",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/063/chuck-klosterman-804_good_i-m-good-at-being-by-myself-i-guess-if-y_716832.png",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/063/chuck-klosterman-804_good_i-m-good-at-being-by-myself-i-guess-if-y_716832.png",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“I'm good at being by myself. I guess if you're a writer you get used to that.” — Chuck Klosterman",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 6,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "If you can't swim, the idea of being in nine feet of water is terrifying, much less the ocean.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Chuck Klosterman"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/if-you-can-t-swim-the-idea-of-being-in-nine-feet-of-water-is/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ec/chuck-klosterman-804_feet_if-you-can-t-swim-the-idea-of-being-in-n_2782867.png",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ec/chuck-klosterman-804_feet_if-you-can-t-swim-the-idea-of-being-in-n_2782867.png",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ec/chuck-klosterman-804_feet_if-you-can-t-swim-the-idea-of-being-in-n_2782867.png",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“If you can't swim, the idea of being in nine feet of water is terrifying, much less the ocean.” — Chuck Klosterman",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 7,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Sure there's a percentage of people who are like, \"It snowed in May. I don't believe in climate change.\" Well, that's crazy, but that's always gonna be the case. I suppose if climate change happens much faster than even the dire experts predict, then I suppose opinions will change.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Chuck Klosterman"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/sure-there-s-a-percentage-of-people-who-are-like-it-snowed-in-may-i/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e8c/chuck-klosterman-804_believe_sure-there-s-a-percentage-of-people-who_2268876.png",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e8c/chuck-klosterman-804_believe_sure-there-s-a-percentage-of-people-who_2268876.png",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e8c/chuck-klosterman-804_believe_sure-there-s-a-percentage-of-people-who_2268876.png",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“Sure there's a percentage of people who are like, \"It snowed in May. I don't believe in climate change.\"…” — Chuck Klosterman",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 8,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "If I'm around spiders, my fear isn't so much the spider, but my fear is that I'm somewhere rustic and that spiders are crawling around. I must be in the woods.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Chuck Klosterman"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/if-i-m-around-spiders-my-fear-isn-t-so-much-the-spider-but-my-fear-is/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/283/chuck-klosterman-804_crawling_if-i-m-around-spiders-my-fear-isn-t-so-m_2526046.png",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/283/chuck-klosterman-804_crawling_if-i-m-around-spiders-my-fear-isn-t-so-m_2526046.png",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/283/chuck-klosterman-804_crawling_if-i-m-around-spiders-my-fear-isn-t-so-m_2526046.png",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“If I'm around spiders, my fear isn't so much the spider, but my fear is that I'm somewhere rustic and that…” — Chuck Klosterman",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 9,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I like storms. I would say I actively like stormy weather. I would not be afraid of them. I think that if I had not pursued journalism, I think storm-chasing would've been a really fun career.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Chuck Klosterman"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/i-like-storms-i-would-say-i-actively-like-stormy-weather-i-would-not/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/96b/chuck-klosterman-804_careers_i-like-storms-i-would-say-i-actively-lik_1808274.png",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/96b/chuck-klosterman-804_careers_i-like-storms-i-would-say-i-actively-lik_1808274.png",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/96b/chuck-klosterman-804_careers_i-like-storms-i-would-say-i-actively-lik_1808274.png",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“I like storms. I would say I actively like stormy weather. I would not be afraid of them. I think that if I…” — Chuck Klosterman",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 10,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I hate motorcycles. Because if I hit one, even if it's not my fault, if I've done nothing wrong, I'm not charged with manslaughter, he's gonna die, because he's on a motorcycle. So I have to live my life knowing that I killed this guy.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Chuck Klosterman"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/i-hate-motorcycles-because-if-i-hit-one-even-if-it-s-not-my-fault-if/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/105/chuck-klosterman-804_dies_i-hate-motorcycles-because-if-i-hit-one_1404140.png",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/105/chuck-klosterman-804_dies_i-hate-motorcycles-because-if-i-hit-one_1404140.png",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/105/chuck-klosterman-804_dies_i-hate-motorcycles-because-if-i-hit-one_1404140.png",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“I hate motorcycles. Because if I hit one, even if it's not my fault, if I've done nothing wrong, I'm not…” — Chuck Klosterman",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 11,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I love music, right? I can't say \"I'm only going to listen to a physical medium,\" because there's a bunch of meaningful records that as a music fan I love that I would've never been able to access. So if I want to be part of something I have to get dragged along with technology.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Chuck Klosterman"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/i-love-music-right-i-can-t-say-i-m-only-going-to-listen-to-a-physical/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a8f/chuck-klosterman-804_able_i-love-music-right-i-can-t-say-i-m-only_531336.png",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a8f/chuck-klosterman-804_able_i-love-music-right-i-can-t-say-i-m-only_531336.png",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a8f/chuck-klosterman-804_able_i-love-music-right-i-can-t-say-i-m-only_531336.png",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“I love music, right? I can't say \"I'm only going to listen to a physical medium,\" because there's a bunch of…” — Chuck Klosterman",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 12,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“If someone breaks your heart, just punch them in the face. Oh sure, it seems obvious now, but you’d be amazed at how many people don’t think of it when it’s relevant. Seriously, just punch them in the face and go get some ice cream.”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Chuck Klosterman"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/if-someone-breaks-your-heart-just-punch-them-in-the-face-oh-sure-it/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/440/chuck-klosterman-804_amazed_if-someone-breaks-your-heart-just-punch_1627896.png",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/440/chuck-klosterman-804_amazed_if-someone-breaks-your-heart-just-punch_1627896.png",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/440/chuck-klosterman-804_amazed_if-someone-breaks-your-heart-just-punch_1627896.png",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“If someone breaks your heart, just punch them in the face. Oh sure, it seems obvious now, but you’d be…” — Chuck Klosterman",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 13,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "If someone feels negative about the way society or culture seems to be going, what it probably suggests is that it's just moving away from the state that they are comfortable with or used to. It's understandable why someone would feel that way.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Chuck Klosterman"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/if-someone-feels-negative-about-the-way-society-or-culture-seems-to/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/da1/chuck-klosterman-804_comfortable_if-someone-feels-negative-about-the-way_1205286.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/da1/chuck-klosterman-804_comfortable_if-someone-feels-negative-about-the-way_1205286.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/da1/chuck-klosterman-804_comfortable_if-someone-feels-negative-about-the-way_1205286.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“If someone feels negative about the way society or culture seems to be going, what it probably suggests is…” — Chuck Klosterman",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 14,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I hate the point where you have to get off the ladder, or get back on. I don't know if that's a fear of heights, or literally a fear of falling. I want to be afraid to fall. That seems like a good fear.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Chuck Klosterman"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/i-hate-the-point-where-you-have-to-get-off-the-ladder-or-get-back-on/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/529/chuck-klosterman-804_fall_i-hate-the-point-where-you-have-to-get-o_3146665.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/529/chuck-klosterman-804_fall_i-hate-the-point-where-you-have-to-get-o_3146665.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/529/chuck-klosterman-804_fall_i-hate-the-point-where-you-have-to-get-o_3146665.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“I hate the point where you have to get off the ladder, or get back on. I don't know if that's a fear of…” — Chuck Klosterman",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 15,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "The problem a lot of writers have is that they really, really enjoy people saying, \"You're brilliant.\" They let their self-perception be dictated by reader response. But if you're going to let other people make you feel good, you're going to end up feeling bad when they say the opposite. You've got to be a cultural stoic. Then you won't be devastated by people who respond negatively. Of course, the downside is that it sort of stops you from being able to enjoy people liking your work.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Chuck Klosterman"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/the-problem-a-lot-of-writers-have-is-that-they-really-really-enjoy/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f41/chuck-klosterman-804_able_the-problem-a-lot-of-writers-have-is-tha_568572.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f41/chuck-klosterman-804_able_the-problem-a-lot-of-writers-have-is-tha_568572.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f41/chuck-klosterman-804_able_the-problem-a-lot-of-writers-have-is-tha_568572.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“The problem a lot of writers have is that they really, really enjoy people saying, \"You're brilliant.\" They…” — Chuck Klosterman",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 16,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "And it's kind of my own fault too, in the sense that I've used my own life as a literary device so much. I think people feel very comfortable reviewing the idea of me, as opposed to what I've actually written. I find that most of the time, when people write about one of my books, they're really just writing about what they think I may or may not represent, as sort of this abstract entity. Is that unfair? Not really. If I put myself in this position where I'm going to kind of weave elements of memoir into almost everything, well, I suppose that's going to happen.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Chuck Klosterman"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/and-it-s-kind-of-my-own-fault-too-in-the-sense-that-i-ve-used-my-own/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/10a/chuck-klosterman-804_abstract_and-it-s-kind-of-my-own-fault-too-in-the_2559324.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/10a/chuck-klosterman-804_abstract_and-it-s-kind-of-my-own-fault-too-in-the_2559324.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/10a/chuck-klosterman-804_abstract_and-it-s-kind-of-my-own-fault-too-in-the_2559324.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“And it's kind of my own fault too, in the sense that I've used my own life as a literary device so much. I…” — Chuck Klosterman",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 17,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I used to watch a lot of documentaries about Satanic possession - and I don't know if this is racist or not - but in the documentaries, it never happened to Americans! It was always happening in Central America or South America; that's where the priest was always going down to exorcise possessed people. So I didn't have a lot of fear of being possessed by the devil.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Chuck Klosterman"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/i-used-to-watch-a-lot-of-documentaries-about-satanic-possession-and-i/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d57/chuck-klosterman-804_america_i-used-to-watch-a-lot-of-documentaries-a_1774698.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d57/chuck-klosterman-804_america_i-used-to-watch-a-lot-of-documentaries-a_1774698.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d57/chuck-klosterman-804_america_i-used-to-watch-a-lot-of-documentaries-a_1774698.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“I used to watch a lot of documentaries about Satanic possession - and I don't know if this is racist or not…” — Chuck Klosterman",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 18,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I think that most technology is positive in the short term, and negative in the long term. I wonder, if somebody looked back at the 20th and 21st centuries a thousand years from now, what their perception of the car would be. Or of television. I wonder if over time, they'll be seen as this thing that drove the culture, but ultimately had more downside than upside.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Chuck Klosterman"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/i-think-that-most-technology-is-positive-in-the-short-term-and/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ac/chuck-klosterman-804_21st-century_i-think-that-most-technology-is-positive_179251.png",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ac/chuck-klosterman-804_21st-century_i-think-that-most-technology-is-positive_179251.png",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ac/chuck-klosterman-804_21st-century_i-think-that-most-technology-is-positive_179251.png",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“I think that most technology is positive in the short term, and negative in the long term. I wonder, if…” — Chuck Klosterman",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 19,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Cars are the most central thing in America, in a lot of ways. They've probably influenced the way we live more than anything else, and yet every really big problem - whether it's the environment or who dictates the international economy because of oil - is all tied to cars. Ultimately, cars are bad for civilization. I don't know if they'll end us.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Chuck Klosterman"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/cars-are-the-most-central-thing-in-america-in-a-lot-of-ways-they-ve/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c24/chuck-klosterman-804_america_cars-are-the-most-central-thing-in-ameri_2861546.png",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c24/chuck-klosterman-804_america_cars-are-the-most-central-thing-in-ameri_2861546.png",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c24/chuck-klosterman-804_america_cars-are-the-most-central-thing-in-ameri_2861546.png",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“Cars are the most central thing in America, in a lot of ways. They've probably influenced the way we live…” — Chuck Klosterman",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 20,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Prior to the early 20th century, for the totality of humankind's existence if they saw something moving, it meant it was there. If they saw a tiger walking, that meant they were near a live tiger. This was entrenched in our subconscious and our unconscious.Then that drastically changed with film and television.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Chuck Klosterman"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/prior-to-the-early-20th-century-for-the-totality-of-humankind-s/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/01f/chuck-klosterman-804_20th-century_prior-to-the-early-20th-century-for-the_1645905.png",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/01f/chuck-klosterman-804_20th-century_prior-to-the-early-20th-century-for-the_1645905.png",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/01f/chuck-klosterman-804_20th-century_prior-to-the-early-20th-century-for-the_1645905.png",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“Prior to the early 20th century, for the totality of humankind's existence if they saw something moving, it…” — Chuck Klosterman",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 21,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "If somebody asked for the first draft of something I'd written, it'd probably be pretty close to whatever got published. I get enjoyment out of writing, but I get absolutely no enjoyment out of rewriting, so I don't do much of it. The more you work on something, certainly, the better it gets. But there's also a pretty clear law of diminishing returns.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Chuck Klosterman"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/if-somebody-asked-for-the-first-draft-of-something-i-d-written-it-d/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/017/chuck-klosterman-804_clear_if-somebody-asked-for-the-first-draft-of_1566296.png",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/017/chuck-klosterman-804_clear_if-somebody-asked-for-the-first-draft-of_1566296.png",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/017/chuck-klosterman-804_clear_if-somebody-asked-for-the-first-draft-of_1566296.png",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“If somebody asked for the first draft of something I'd written, it'd probably be pretty close to whatever…” — Chuck Klosterman",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 22,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I can tell when I've met a bad journalist when they say, \"I've met Madonna,\" or \"I know Marilyn Manson.\" Because I haven't met anyone I've ever interviewed. I've sat down in the position of an interviewer, and they've sat down in the position of an artist trying to promote a product. We have no relationship. I'm able to ask them questions I'd never be allowed to ask them if we were casual friends. It's a completely constructed kind of situation.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Chuck Klosterman"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/i-can-tell-when-i-ve-met-a-bad-journalist-when-they-say-i-ve-met/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c9c/chuck-klosterman-804_able_i-can-tell-when-i-ve-met-a-bad-journalis_2450906.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c9c/chuck-klosterman-804_able_i-can-tell-when-i-ve-met-a-bad-journalis_2450906.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c9c/chuck-klosterman-804_able_i-can-tell-when-i-ve-met-a-bad-journalis_2450906.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“I can tell when I've met a bad journalist when they say, \"I've met Madonna,\" or \"I know Marilyn Manson.\"…” — Chuck Klosterman",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 23,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "In the Far East, it's very normal for people to wear masks in flu season. I don't know if I'd ever do that, though, because I don't like having things on my face.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Chuck Klosterman"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/in-the-far-east-it-s-very-normal-for-people-to-wear-masks-in-flu/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8af/chuck-klosterman-804_east_in-the-far-east-it-s-very-normal-for-peo_2859967.png",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8af/chuck-klosterman-804_east_in-the-far-east-it-s-very-normal-for-peo_2859967.png",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8af/chuck-klosterman-804_east_in-the-far-east-it-s-very-normal-for-peo_2859967.png",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“In the Far East, it's very normal for people to wear masks in flu season. I don't know if I'd ever do that…” — Chuck Klosterman",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 24,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "People hate the feeling that technology is dragging them into the future, that they're not really following what's happening, but being forced to be involved. Even if it makes their life better, it still feels like it's happening against their will.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Chuck Klosterman"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/people-hate-the-feeling-that-technology-is-dragging-them-into-the/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c2/chuck-klosterman-804_feelings_people-hate-the-feeling-that-technology_2953330.png",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c2/chuck-klosterman-804_feelings_people-hate-the-feeling-that-technology_2953330.png",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c2/chuck-klosterman-804_feelings_people-hate-the-feeling-that-technology_2953330.png",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“People hate the feeling that technology is dragging them into the future, that they're not really following…” — Chuck Klosterman",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 25,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Every possible opinion is authored about everything. What's going to eventually happen is someone will look back on this period and have to sift through it. The overwhelming majority of those opinions are going to be ignored, because if every opinion is being offered, really no opinion is being offered.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Chuck Klosterman"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/every-possible-opinion-is-authored-about-everything-what-s-going-to/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/758/chuck-klosterman-804_happens_every-possible-opinion-is-authored-about_1925031.png",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/758/chuck-klosterman-804_happens_every-possible-opinion-is-authored-about_1925031.png",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/758/chuck-klosterman-804_happens_every-possible-opinion-is-authored-about_1925031.png",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“Every possible opinion is authored about everything. What's going to eventually happen is someone will look…” — Chuck Klosterman",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 26,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "The debate about climate change in many ways is tied to the petroleum industry. If the value of petroleum was considerably less than it is, and the value of coal was considerably less than it is, there would be much less debate about this.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Chuck Klosterman"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/the-debate-about-climate-change-in-many-ways-is-tied-to-the-petroleum/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/99c/chuck-klosterman-804_change_the-debate-about-climate-change-in-many_1044384.png",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/99c/chuck-klosterman-804_change_the-debate-about-climate-change-in-many_1044384.png",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/99c/chuck-klosterman-804_change_the-debate-about-climate-change-in-many_1044384.png",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“The debate about climate change in many ways is tied to the petroleum industry. If the value of petroleum…” — Chuck Klosterman",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 27,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "If you move furniture all day, if you're a construction worker, if you have a job that's real physical, this idea that there is a sport that involves the kind of conventional, traditional view of toughness, you see that still as a positive thing.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Chuck Klosterman"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/if-you-move-furniture-all-day-if-you-re-a-construction-worker-if-you/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f10/chuck-klosterman-804_construction_if-you-move-furniture-all-day-if-you-re_1260064.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f10/chuck-klosterman-804_construction_if-you-move-furniture-all-day-if-you-re_1260064.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f10/chuck-klosterman-804_construction_if-you-move-furniture-all-day-if-you-re_1260064.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“If you move furniture all day, if you're a construction worker, if you have a job that's real physical, this…” — Chuck Klosterman",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 28,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "It drives me crazy to do readings of my books, because if I read anything I've written in the past, I'd like to almost rewrite everything. If I could, I'd completely rewrite Fargo Rock City, and every sentence would be just slightly different. In all likelihood, most of them wouldn't be any better. Some of them would just be changed back to whatever form they used to be, before I second-guessed myself the first time.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Chuck Klosterman"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/it-drives-me-crazy-to-do-readings-of-my-books-because-if-i-read/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c8b/chuck-klosterman-804_book_it-drives-me-crazy-to-do-readings-of-my_2494715.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c8b/chuck-klosterman-804_book_it-drives-me-crazy-to-do-readings-of-my_2494715.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c8b/chuck-klosterman-804_book_it-drives-me-crazy-to-do-readings-of-my_2494715.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“It drives me crazy to do readings of my books, because if I read anything I've written in the past, I'd like…” — Chuck Klosterman",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                }
            ]
        },
        {
            "@type": "CollectionPage",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/chuck-klosterman/#webpage",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/chuck-klosterman/",
            "name": "Ifs Quotes by Chuck Klosterman",
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "mainEntity": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/chuck-klosterman/#itemlist"
            },
            "primaryImageOfPage": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee1/chuck-klosterman-804_costumes_in-some-ways-halloween-is-much-easier-fo_2427067.png"
            },
            "description": "28 Ifs quotes by Chuck Klosterman. Plus more from Chuck Klosterman and more Ifs sayings from other authors.",
            "breadcrumb": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/chuck-klosterman/#breadcrumb"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/chuck-klosterman/#breadcrumb",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Topics",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/categories/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "Ifs",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 5,
                    "name": "Chuck Klosterman",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/chuck-klosterman/"
                }
            ]
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```