--- title: "12 Ifs Quotes By Carlos Mencia" description: "12 Ifs quotes by Carlos Mencia. Plus more from Carlos Mencia and more Ifs sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3f4/carlos-mencia-2630_baby_if-you-ain-t-laughing-you-ain-t-living-b_2049983.png" --- > [If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/if-you-ain-t-laughing-you-ain-t-living-baby/) [Carlos Mencia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carlos-mencia/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3f4/carlos-mencia-2630_baby_if-you-ain-t-laughing-you-ain-t-living-b_2049983.png) > [If you aren't laughing, you aren't living!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/if-you-aren-t-laughing-you-aren-t-living/) [Carlos Mencia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carlos-mencia/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f89/carlos-mencia-2630_comedy_if-you-aren-t-laughing-you-aren-t-living_3055777.png) > [God has a sense of humor. If you don't believe me, tomorrow go to wal-mart and just look at people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/god-has-a-sense-of-humor-if-you-don-t-believe-me-tomorrow-go-to-wal/) [Carlos Mencia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carlos-mencia/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a55/carlos-mencia-2630_believe_god-has-a-sense-of-humor-if-you-don-t-be_1686008.png) > [In Texas, if your name is Carlos, you're a Mexican. In Florida, you're a Cuban. In New York, you're a Puerto Rican.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/in-texas-if-your-name-is-carlos-you-re-a-mexican-in-florida-you-re-a/) [Carlos Mencia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carlos-mencia/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/937/carlos-mencia-2630_cuban_in-texas-if-your-name-is-carlos-you-re-a_3168181.png) > [If your gonna drop out of school / tough grades are not your goal / then change your name to Candy and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/if-your-gonna-drop-out-of-school-tough-grades-are-not-your-goal-then/) [Carlos Mencia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carlos-mencia/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/04c/carlos-mencia-2630_candy_if-your-gonna-drop-out-of-school-tough-g_778836.png) > [If God made Adam and Eve, they had children... wait a minute... that means someone banged their sister!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/if-god-made-adam-and-eve-they-had-children-wait-a-minute-that-means/) [Carlos Mencia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carlos-mencia/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5bc/carlos-mencia-2630_adam_if-god-made-adam-and-eve-they-had-childr_2765812.png) > [Listen, here's my questions to anybody when they talk about comedy. When you are with your friends who don't judge you, what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/listen-here-s-my-questions-to-anybody-when-they-talk-about-comedy/) [Carlos Mencia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carlos-mencia/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ced/carlos-mencia-2630_appropriate_listen-here-s-my-questions-to-anybody-wh_908314.png) > [If you're Filipino, you're the beaner of the Asian community 'cause you're just like us. You're indigenous people that got banged by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/if-you-re-filipino-you-re-the-beaner-of-the-asian-community-cause-you/) [Carlos Mencia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carlos-mencia/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aea/carlos-mencia-2630_asian_if-you-re-filipino-you-re-the-beaner-of_1896068.png) > [I don't have the time to steal other people's material even if I wanted to. The reason why these rumors got started…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/i-don-t-have-the-time-to-steal-other-people-s-material-even-if-i/) [Carlos Mencia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carlos-mencia/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f2d/carlos-mencia-2630_believe_i-don-t-have-the-time-to-steal-other-peo_2129862.png) > [If you ask me right now, you've seen the last of Mind of Mencia. I don't want to be a one-trick pony.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/if-you-ask-me-right-now-you-ve-seen-the-last-of-mind-of-mencia-i-don/) [Carlos Mencia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carlos-mencia/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/015/carlos-mencia-2630_ask-me_if-you-ask-me-right-now-you-ve-seen-the_2839790.png) > [If I were to say that I grew up in East Los Angeles in the projects poor, I assumed that everybody understood…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/if-i-were-to-say-that-i-grew-up-in-east-los-angeles-in-the-projects/) [Carlos Mencia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carlos-mencia/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/de6/carlos-mencia-2630_comedy_if-i-were-to-say-that-i-grew-up-in-east_1569242.png) > [I'm a spiritual person, I believe that if you read the bible, you get what you want from it. But, when you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/i-m-a-spiritual-person-i-believe-that-if-you-read-the-bible-you-get-2/) [Carlos Mencia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carlos-mencia/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d57/carlos-mencia-2630_and-love_i-m-a-spiritual-person-i-believe-that-if_363017.jpg) ## Other authors on Ifs ## More by Carlos Mencia > [Nobody calls me a racist when I do redneck jokes. Jeff Foxworthy can do as many 'You might be a redneck jokes' as he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/nobody-calls-me-a-racist-when-i-do-redneck-jokes-jeff-foxworthy-can/) [Carlos Mencia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carlos-mencia/) > [I am frail like everyone else, and I take that into account when I talk about things.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/i-am-frail-like-everyone-else-and-i-take-that-into-account-when-i/) [Carlos Mencia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carlos-mencia/) > [People live in a place called Tornado Alley - and they're surprised when they get hit by a tornado. I'm sorry when they get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/people-live-in-a-place-called-tornado-alley-and-they-re-surprised/) [Carlos Mencia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carlos-mencia/) > [When I was younger, I was angry. I was boisterous and loud. I was on top of the mountain, screaming at everybody, 'Look at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/when-i-was-younger-i-was-angry-i-was-boisterous-and-loud-i-was-on-top/) [Carlos Mencia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carlos-mencia/) > [When you are younger, you pretend to believe, but you are proving it to everyone and to yourself. The change comes when you know…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/when-you-are-younger-you-pretend-to-believe-but-you-are-proving-it-to/) [Carlos Mencia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carlos-mencia/) > [Here's what I know about the business I am in. It's all based on money. It's all based on ratings.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/here-s-what-i-know-about-the-business-i-am-in-it-s-all-based-on-money/) [Carlos Mencia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carlos-mencia/) > [I've gotten in trouble with every race you can imagine. They say, 'I can't believe you talked about this - you're racist.' And I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/i-ve-gotten-in-trouble-with-every-race-you-can-imagine-they-say-i-can/) [Carlos Mencia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carlos-mencia/) > [My choices are made out of love. When I go on stage now, I want to make people happy. I mean, when I get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/my-choices-are-made-out-of-love-when-i-go-on-stage-now-i-want-to-make/) [Carlos Mencia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carlos-mencia/) > [My comedy is about, lift yourself. See reality. Change the reality if you don't like it. But if you can't, then deal with things…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/my-comedy-is-about-lift-yourself-see-reality-change-the-reality-if/) [Carlos Mencia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carlos-mencia/) > [I can't imagine how unbelievable it would be to go to the Great Barrier Reef.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/i-can-t-imagine-how-unbelievable-it-would-be-to-go-to-the-great/) [Carlos Mencia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carlos-mencia/) > [The beauty of not growing up middle class is that you don't think like the middle class. You don't have anything to protect, you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/the-beauty-of-not-growing-up-middle-class-is-that-you-don-t-think/) [Carlos Mencia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carlos-mencia/) > [I'm not good looking, but I'm not bad looking.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/i-m-not-good-looking-but-i-m-not-bad-looking/) [Carlos Mencia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carlos-mencia/) > [I choose to live in a positive world and a positive presence.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/i-choose-to-live-in-a-positive-world-and-a-positive-presence/) [Carlos Mencia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carlos-mencia/) > [I'm a spiritual person: I believe that if you read the Bible, you get what you want from it. But, when you actually read…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/i-m-a-spiritual-person-i-believe-that-if-you-read-the-bible-you-get/) [Carlos Mencia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carlos-mencia/) > [At the end of the day, I don't think I am going to be judged by what happened in the 90's and 2000's, at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/at-the-end-of-the-day-i-don-t-think-i-am-going-to-be-judged-by-what/) [Carlos Mencia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carlos-mencia/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/carlos-mencia/#itemlist", "name": "12 Ifs Quotes By Carlos Mencia", "numberOfItems": 12, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Carlos Mencia" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/if-you-ain-t-laughing-you-ain-t-living-baby/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3f4/carlos-mencia-2630_baby_if-you-ain-t-laughing-you-ain-t-living-b_2049983.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3f4/carlos-mencia-2630_baby_if-you-ain-t-laughing-you-ain-t-living-b_2049983.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3f4/carlos-mencia-2630_baby_if-you-ain-t-laughing-you-ain-t-living-b_2049983.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby.” — Carlos Mencia", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If you aren't laughing, you aren't living!", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Carlos Mencia" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/if-you-aren-t-laughing-you-aren-t-living/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f89/carlos-mencia-2630_comedy_if-you-aren-t-laughing-you-aren-t-living_3055777.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f89/carlos-mencia-2630_comedy_if-you-aren-t-laughing-you-aren-t-living_3055777.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f89/carlos-mencia-2630_comedy_if-you-aren-t-laughing-you-aren-t-living_3055777.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If you aren't laughing, you aren't living!” — Carlos Mencia", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "God has a sense of humor. 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And I come here and I find out I'm an Eskimo.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Carlos Mencia" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/in-texas-if-your-name-is-carlos-you-re-a-mexican-in-florida-you-re-a/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/937/carlos-mencia-2630_cuban_in-texas-if-your-name-is-carlos-you-re-a_3168181.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/937/carlos-mencia-2630_cuban_in-texas-if-your-name-is-carlos-you-re-a_3168181.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/937/carlos-mencia-2630_cuban_in-texas-if-your-name-is-carlos-you-re-a_3168181.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“In Texas, if your name is Carlos, you're a Mexican. In Florida, you're a Cuban. In New York, you're a Puerto…” — Carlos Mencia", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 5, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If your gonna drop out of school / tough grades are not your goal / then change your name to Candy and learn to work a pole.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Carlos Mencia" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/if-your-gonna-drop-out-of-school-tough-grades-are-not-your-goal-then/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/04c/carlos-mencia-2630_candy_if-your-gonna-drop-out-of-school-tough-g_778836.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/04c/carlos-mencia-2630_candy_if-your-gonna-drop-out-of-school-tough-g_778836.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/04c/carlos-mencia-2630_candy_if-your-gonna-drop-out-of-school-tough-g_778836.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If your gonna drop out of school / tough grades are not your goal / then change your name to Candy and learn…” — Carlos Mencia", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 6, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If God made Adam and Eve, they had children... wait a minute... that means someone banged their sister!", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Carlos Mencia" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/if-god-made-adam-and-eve-they-had-children-wait-a-minute-that-means/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5bc/carlos-mencia-2630_adam_if-god-made-adam-and-eve-they-had-childr_2765812.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5bc/carlos-mencia-2630_adam_if-god-made-adam-and-eve-they-had-childr_2765812.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5bc/carlos-mencia-2630_adam_if-god-made-adam-and-eve-they-had-childr_2765812.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If God made Adam and Eve, they had children... wait a minute... that means someone banged their sister!” — Carlos Mencia", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Listen, here's my questions to anybody when they talk about comedy. When you are with your friends who don't judge you, what do you say? And if that's appropriate to say with your friends, why is it not appropriate anywhere else. Like I hate those people who judge me and are hypocrites.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Carlos Mencia" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/listen-here-s-my-questions-to-anybody-when-they-talk-about-comedy/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ced/carlos-mencia-2630_appropriate_listen-here-s-my-questions-to-anybody-wh_908314.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ced/carlos-mencia-2630_appropriate_listen-here-s-my-questions-to-anybody-wh_908314.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ced/carlos-mencia-2630_appropriate_listen-here-s-my-questions-to-anybody-wh_908314.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Listen, here's my questions to anybody when they talk about comedy. When you are with your friends who don't…” — Carlos Mencia", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If you're Filipino, you're the beaner of the Asian community 'cause you're just like us. You're indigenous people that got banged by some Spaniards. That's why you have names like Kwan Ping Del Toro.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Carlos Mencia" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/if-you-re-filipino-you-re-the-beaner-of-the-asian-community-cause-you/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aea/carlos-mencia-2630_asian_if-you-re-filipino-you-re-the-beaner-of_1896068.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aea/carlos-mencia-2630_asian_if-you-re-filipino-you-re-the-beaner-of_1896068.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aea/carlos-mencia-2630_asian_if-you-re-filipino-you-re-the-beaner-of_1896068.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If you're Filipino, you're the beaner of the Asian community 'cause you're just like us. You're indigenous…” — Carlos Mencia", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I don't have the time to steal other people's material even if I wanted to. The reason why these rumors got started is that I don't really contest them because I don't believe they deserve contesting. I really don't.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Carlos Mencia" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/i-don-t-have-the-time-to-steal-other-people-s-material-even-if-i/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f2d/carlos-mencia-2630_believe_i-don-t-have-the-time-to-steal-other-peo_2129862.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f2d/carlos-mencia-2630_believe_i-don-t-have-the-time-to-steal-other-peo_2129862.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f2d/carlos-mencia-2630_believe_i-don-t-have-the-time-to-steal-other-peo_2129862.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I don't have the time to steal other people's material even if I wanted to. The reason why these rumors got…” — Carlos Mencia", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If you ask me right now, you've seen the last of Mind of Mencia. I don't want to be a one-trick pony. I would rather walk away and do more movies, comedy and even some dramatic roles.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Carlos Mencia" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/if-you-ask-me-right-now-you-ve-seen-the-last-of-mind-of-mencia-i-don/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/015/carlos-mencia-2630_ask-me_if-you-ask-me-right-now-you-ve-seen-the_2839790.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/015/carlos-mencia-2630_ask-me_if-you-ask-me-right-now-you-ve-seen-the_2839790.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/015/carlos-mencia-2630_ask-me_if-you-ask-me-right-now-you-ve-seen-the_2839790.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If you ask me right now, you've seen the last of Mind of Mencia. I don't want to be a one-trick pony. I…” — Carlos Mencia", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If I were to say that I grew up in East Los Angeles in the projects poor, I assumed that everybody understood that it came with its own reasons for being the way I am. I didn't get that people needed to understand where my comedy came from; I thought that they knew that. Now I tell people.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Carlos Mencia" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/if-i-were-to-say-that-i-grew-up-in-east-los-angeles-in-the-projects/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/de6/carlos-mencia-2630_comedy_if-i-were-to-say-that-i-grew-up-in-east_1569242.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/de6/carlos-mencia-2630_comedy_if-i-were-to-say-that-i-grew-up-in-east_1569242.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/de6/carlos-mencia-2630_comedy_if-i-were-to-say-that-i-grew-up-in-east_1569242.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If I were to say that I grew up in East Los Angeles in the projects poor, I assumed that everybody…” — Carlos Mencia", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I'm a spiritual person, I believe that if you read the bible, you get what you want from it. But, when you actually read it, you see the beauty, spirituality, the joy and love and what makes us godly. And then if you read between the lines of all the same books, you always see the human influence in the writing... it's not all about religiousness, it's about spirituality.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Carlos Mencia" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-mencia/i-m-a-spiritual-person-i-believe-that-if-you-read-the-bible-you-get-2/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d57/carlos-mencia-2630_and-love_i-m-a-spiritual-person-i-believe-that-if_363017.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d57/carlos-mencia-2630_and-love_i-m-a-spiritual-person-i-believe-that-if_363017.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d57/carlos-mencia-2630_and-love_i-m-a-spiritual-person-i-believe-that-if_363017.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I'm a spiritual person, I believe that if you read the bible, you get what you want from it. 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