--- title: "16 Ifs Quotes By Brian Regan" description: "16 Ifs quotes by Brian Regan. Plus more from Brian Regan and more Ifs sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fd9/brian-regan-3918_book_if-you-were-to-second-guess-your-decisio_3157624.png" --- > [If you were to second guess your decision to book some time to visit an Indian community, that would be a reservation…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/if-you-were-to-second-guess-your-decision-to-book-some-time-to-visit/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fd9/brian-regan-3918_book_if-you-were-to-second-guess-your-decisio_3157624.png) > [I like the honesty of standup comedy. People don't fake laugh. If they're truly laughing at you, you know they like you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/i-like-the-honesty-of-standup-comedy-people-don-t-fake-laugh-if-they/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f8f/brian-regan-3918_comedy_i-like-the-honesty-of-standup-comedy-peo_684238.png) > [I don't know. I'd be a lot better off if I would've studied more when I was growing up, you know?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/i-don-t-know-i-d-be-a-lot-better-off-if-i-would-ve-studied-more-when/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b6a/brian-regan-3918_better_i-don-t-know-i-d-be-a-lot-better-off-if_2122491.png) > [If you tell a kid not to run to a water slide, he/she will walk for 2 steps, then start running again.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/if-you-tell-a-kid-not-to-run-to-a-water-slide-he-she-will-walk-for-2/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a7e/brian-regan-3918_child_if-you-tell-a-kid-not-to-run-to-a-water_2491397.png) > [If Einstein was so smart how come people only call you 'Einstein' when you do something really stupid ?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/if-einstein-was-so-smart-how-come-people-only-call-you-einstein-when/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b78/brian-regan-3918_einstein_if-einstein-was-so-smart-how-come-people_2408145.png) > [“I never learn. Like a waitress will bring my meal. “Hey, enjoy your meal.” “You, too. But you don’t have one, do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/i-never-learn-like-a-waitress-will-bring-my-meal-hey-enjoy-your-meal/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e3d/brian-regan-3918_break_i-never-learn-like-a-waitress-will-bring_807364.png) > [I try to be careful and put things in perspective. There are people who have challenging lives and work hard physically and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/i-try-to-be-careful-and-put-things-in-perspective-there-are-people/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eec/brian-regan-3918_be-careful_i-try-to-be-careful-and-put-things-in-pe_1771189.jpg) > [The only way I'd want to do something in television would be if it was about how I think as a comedian.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/the-only-way-i-d-want-to-do-something-in-television-would-be-if-it/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/582/brian-regan-3918_able_the-only-way-i-d-want-to-do-something-in_2892869.jpg) > [If a movie makes it really big, they do the obvious thing, right? They make an amusement park ride out of it.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/if-a-movie-makes-it-really-big-they-do-the-obvious-thing-right-they/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7dd/brian-regan-3918_amusement_if-a-movie-makes-it-really-big-they-do-t_96034.jpg) > [I try my jokes onstage. The only way to really find out if something is going to work is to try it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/i-try-my-jokes-onstage-the-only-way-to-really-find-out-if-something/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db2/brian-regan-3918_be-careful_i-try-my-jokes-onstage-the-only-way-to-r_3204879.png) > [If reading makes you smart then how come when you read a book they have to put the title of the book…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/if-reading-makes-you-smart-then-how-come-when-you-read-a-book-they/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/890/brian-regan-3918_book_if-reading-makes-you-smart-then-how-come_1620290.png) > [You can microwave a Pop Tart. That just blew me away that you could do that. How long does it take to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/you-can-microwave-a-pop-tart-that-just-blew-me-away-that-you-could-do/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3d4/brian-regan-3918_dark_you-can-microwave-a-pop-tart-that-just-b_963043.png) > [ The ultimate objective \[of comedy\] is to get a laugh, so if you can get a laugh off the fact that you… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/the-ultimate-objective-of-comedy-is-to-get-a-laugh-so-if-you-can-get/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e52/brian-regan-3918_brain_the-ultimate-objective-of-comedy-is-to-g_1605012.png) > [Ladies and Gentlemen, we're about to begin boarding. If we could ask for your cooperation, please stay seated until you row has…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/ladies-and-gentlemen-we-re-about-to-begin-boarding-if-we-could-ask/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e5c/brian-regan-3918_areas_ladies-and-gentlemen-we-re-about-to-begi_2571539.jpg) > [I did some writing for that movie. The remake of Planet of the Apes. I didn't write the script. But I wrote…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/i-did-some-writing-for-that-movie-the-remake-of-planet-of-the-apes-i/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/803/brian-regan-3918_apes_i-did-some-writing-for-that-movie-the-re_2029958.jpg) > [Relevance is kind of a weird thing. If one does topical material, it makes sense to want to be relevant. But if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/relevance-is-kind-of-a-weird-thing-if-one-does-topical-material-it/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b8/brian-regan-3918_court_relevance-is-kind-of-a-weird-thing-if-on_149127.png) ## Other authors on Ifs ## More by Brian Regan > [I am happy doing standup so I don't ever want to stop doing it. But I wouldn't mind venturing off and doing other things…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/i-am-happy-doing-standup-so-i-don-t-ever-want-to-stop-doing-it-but-i/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) > [Don't let dialog about your company happen without your perspective.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/don-t-let-dialog-about-your-company-happen-without-your-perspective/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) > [If a movie makes it really big, they do the obvious thing, right? They make an amusement park ride out of it. ... The…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/if-a-movie-makes-it-really-big-they-do-the-obvious-thing-right-they/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) > [Hooked on Phonics worked for me](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/hooked-on-phonics-worked-for-me/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) > [I thought yoga was easy - I went out and I bought a yoga video tape. I bought the beginners' yoga tape. I couldn't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/i-thought-yoga-was-easy-i-went-out-and-i-bought-a-yoga-video-tape-i/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) > [I eat Fig Newtons by the sleeve!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/i-eat-fig-newtons-by-the-sleeve/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) > [The government will pay certain farmers to not grow corn. Wow. Where's my check? That'd be great. "Hey, what do you do for a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/the-government-will-pay-certain-farmers-to-not-grow-corn-wow-where-s/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) > [Relevance is kind of a weird thing. If one does topical material, it makes sense to want to be relevant. But if someone talks…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/relevance-is-kind-of-a-weird-thing-if-one-does-topical-material-it/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) > [I drove myself to the Emergency Room. That's a nice relaxing drive. "Noooo, after you. Merge-everybody merge."](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/i-drove-myself-to-the-emergency-room-that-s-a-nice-relaxing-drive/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) > [You can poke fun at some pretty difficult circumstances, and it's just a way to pop the bubble. I don't do that thing onstage…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/you-can-poke-fun-at-some-pretty-difficult-circumstances-and-it-s-just/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) > [You know I could go for a sandwich, but uh, I'm not gonna open two jars. I can't be opening and closing all kinds…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/you-know-i-could-go-for-a-sandwich-but-uh-i-m-not-gonna-open-two-jars/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) > [“I" before "E" except after "C" and when sounding like "A" as in neighbor and weigh, and on weekends and holidays and all throughout…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/i-before-e-except-after-c-and-when-sounding-like-a-as-in-neighbor-and/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) > [The big yellow one is the sun!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/the-big-yellow-one-is-the-sun/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) > [I'm trying to do things I have never done. Like I recently went to 3 different ballets. And I loved trying to learn how…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/i-m-trying-to-do-things-i-have-never-done-like-i-recently-went-to-3/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) > [Don't like when sports interviewers force answers: Are you dedicating this game to your sick grandmother? What's the guy supposed to say?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/don-t-like-when-sports-interviewers-force-answers-are-you-dedicating/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/brian-regan/#itemlist", "name": "16 Ifs Quotes By Brian Regan", "numberOfItems": 16, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If you were to second guess your decision to book some time to visit an Indian community, that would be a reservation reservation reservation.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Brian Regan" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/if-you-were-to-second-guess-your-decision-to-book-some-time-to-visit/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fd9/brian-regan-3918_book_if-you-were-to-second-guess-your-decisio_3157624.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fd9/brian-regan-3918_book_if-you-were-to-second-guess-your-decisio_3157624.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fd9/brian-regan-3918_book_if-you-were-to-second-guess-your-decisio_3157624.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If you were to second guess your decision to book some time to visit an Indian community, that would be a…” — Brian Regan", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I like the honesty of standup comedy. 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Like a waitress will bring my meal. “Hey, enjoy your meal.” “You, too. But you don’t have one, do ya? I’m a dufus. If you do eat enjoy it when you eat it if you have a break or something, later. If you get an opportunity.” That’s all I’m trying to say.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Brian Regan" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/i-never-learn-like-a-waitress-will-bring-my-meal-hey-enjoy-your-meal/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e3d/brian-regan-3918_break_i-never-learn-like-a-waitress-will-bring_807364.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e3d/brian-regan-3918_break_i-never-learn-like-a-waitress-will-bring_807364.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e3d/brian-regan-3918_break_i-never-learn-like-a-waitress-will-bring_807364.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I never learn. Like a waitress will bring my meal. “Hey, enjoy your meal.” “You, too. But you don’t have…” — Brian Regan", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I try to be careful and put things in perspective. There are people who have challenging lives and work hard physically and mentally. I consider myself a lucky person because I get to go on stage and tell jokes for an hour. If I miss a connection here and there or my room isn't ready now and then? It's not a big deal.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Brian Regan" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/i-try-to-be-careful-and-put-things-in-perspective-there-are-people/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eec/brian-regan-3918_be-careful_i-try-to-be-careful-and-put-things-in-pe_1771189.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eec/brian-regan-3918_be-careful_i-try-to-be-careful-and-put-things-in-pe_1771189.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eec/brian-regan-3918_be-careful_i-try-to-be-careful-and-put-things-in-pe_1771189.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I try to be careful and put things in perspective. There are people who have challenging lives and work hard…” — Brian Regan", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The only way I'd want to do something in television would be if it was about how I think as a comedian. I'd need to be able to be a creator. That's what I enjoy - I enjoy coming up with comedy, so it'd be very difficult for me to be sitting in a room and have somebody come in and say, \"Here's your script! Learn these lines!\" That's not fun. At least not for me.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Brian Regan" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/the-only-way-i-d-want-to-do-something-in-television-would-be-if-it/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/582/brian-regan-3918_able_the-only-way-i-d-want-to-do-something-in_2892869.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/582/brian-regan-3918_able_the-only-way-i-d-want-to-do-something-in_2892869.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/582/brian-regan-3918_able_the-only-way-i-d-want-to-do-something-in_2892869.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The only way I'd want to do something in television would be if it was about how I think as a comedian. I'd…” — Brian Regan", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If a movie makes it really big, they do the obvious thing, right? They make an amusement park ride out of it. ... The connection is obvious. You get off, \"Man, that was just like the movie! Only the movie had a storyline and characters, and that was a little more like a roller coaster.\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Brian Regan" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/if-a-movie-makes-it-really-big-they-do-the-obvious-thing-right-they/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7dd/brian-regan-3918_amusement_if-a-movie-makes-it-really-big-they-do-t_96034.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7dd/brian-regan-3918_amusement_if-a-movie-makes-it-really-big-they-do-t_96034.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7dd/brian-regan-3918_amusement_if-a-movie-makes-it-really-big-they-do-t_96034.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If a movie makes it really big, they do the obvious thing, right? They make an amusement park ride out of…” — Brian Regan", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I try my jokes onstage. The only way to really find out if something is going to work is to try it on stage, and I try to be careful and bookend something new with a strong bit before and a strong bit afterwards. But it's fun to run on virgin snow. I like that feeling onstage of creating new footprints and not knowing what's going to happen.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Brian Regan" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/i-try-my-jokes-onstage-the-only-way-to-really-find-out-if-something/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db2/brian-regan-3918_be-careful_i-try-my-jokes-onstage-the-only-way-to-r_3204879.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db2/brian-regan-3918_be-careful_i-try-my-jokes-onstage-the-only-way-to-r_3204879.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db2/brian-regan-3918_be-careful_i-try-my-jokes-onstage-the-only-way-to-r_3204879.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I try my jokes onstage. The only way to really find out if something is going to work is to try it on stage…” — Brian Regan", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If reading makes you smart then how come when you read a book they have to put the title of the book on the top of every single page? Does anyone get halfway through a book, What the hell am I reading?", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Brian Regan" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/if-reading-makes-you-smart-then-how-come-when-you-read-a-book-they/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/890/brian-regan-3918_book_if-reading-makes-you-smart-then-how-come_1620290.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/890/brian-regan-3918_book_if-reading-makes-you-smart-then-how-come_1620290.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/890/brian-regan-3918_book_if-reading-makes-you-smart-then-how-come_1620290.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If reading makes you smart then how come when you read a book they have to put the title of the book on the…” — Brian Regan", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "You can microwave a Pop Tart. That just blew me away that you could do that. How long does it take to toast a Pop Tart? A minute and a half if you want it dark? People don't have that kind of time? Listen, if you need to zap-fry your Pop Tarts before you head out the door, you might want to loosen up your schedule.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Brian Regan" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/you-can-microwave-a-pop-tart-that-just-blew-me-away-that-you-could-do/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3d4/brian-regan-3918_dark_you-can-microwave-a-pop-tart-that-just-b_963043.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3d4/brian-regan-3918_dark_you-can-microwave-a-pop-tart-that-just-b_963043.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3d4/brian-regan-3918_dark_you-can-microwave-a-pop-tart-that-just-b_963043.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“You can microwave a Pop Tart. That just blew me away that you could do that. How long does it take to toast…” — Brian Regan", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 13, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The ultimate objective [of comedy] is to get a laugh, so if you can get a laugh off the fact that you did not get a laugh, then you've kinda saved the moment. Other professions don't have that luxury. You don't want to hear a brain surgeon say, \"Man, am I so stupid! I cut on the wrong side of your head!!\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Brian Regan" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/the-ultimate-objective-of-comedy-is-to-get-a-laugh-so-if-you-can-get/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e52/brian-regan-3918_brain_the-ultimate-objective-of-comedy-is-to-g_1605012.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e52/brian-regan-3918_brain_the-ultimate-objective-of-comedy-is-to-g_1605012.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e52/brian-regan-3918_brain_the-ultimate-objective-of-comedy-is-to-g_1605012.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The ultimate objective [of comedy] is to get a laugh, so if you can get a laugh off the fact that you did…” — Brian Regan", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 14, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Ladies and Gentlemen, we're about to begin boarding. If we could ask for your cooperation, please stay seated until you row has been called.\" ... That's what they say - but somehow, by the time it comes out of the speaker, it sounds like, \"Everybody up and rush the door! Everybody up and try to squeeze your big fat butts in the small gate door area! Immediately! ... Do whatever you have to do to get on board. This is the last helicopter out of Vietnam!", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Brian Regan" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/ladies-and-gentlemen-we-re-about-to-begin-boarding-if-we-could-ask/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e5c/brian-regan-3918_areas_ladies-and-gentlemen-we-re-about-to-begi_2571539.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e5c/brian-regan-3918_areas_ladies-and-gentlemen-we-re-about-to-begi_2571539.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e5c/brian-regan-3918_areas_ladies-and-gentlemen-we-re-about-to-begi_2571539.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Ladies and Gentlemen, we're about to begin boarding. If we could ask for your cooperation, please stay…” — Brian Regan", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 15, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I did some writing for that movie. The remake of Planet of the Apes. I didn't write the script. But I wrote some lines that they ended up... not using. ... I wrote one line. I thought it would've been perfect. I don't know if anyone saw the movie. It's the scene where the ape general comes in. And they're trying to decide if they should attack right there, or wait until a little later. And I wrote: \"Man these bananas are good!\" But they didn't use it. I did all of that research.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Brian Regan" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/i-did-some-writing-for-that-movie-the-remake-of-planet-of-the-apes-i/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/803/brian-regan-3918_apes_i-did-some-writing-for-that-movie-the-re_2029958.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/803/brian-regan-3918_apes_i-did-some-writing-for-that-movie-the-re_2029958.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/803/brian-regan-3918_apes_i-did-some-writing-for-that-movie-the-re_2029958.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I did some writing for that movie. The remake of Planet of the Apes. I didn't write the script. But I wrote…” — Brian Regan", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 16, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Relevance is kind of a weird thing. If one does topical material, it makes sense to want to be relevant. But if someone talks about donut sprinkles, it's not quite as important. Unless the U.S. Supreme Court makes a decision outlawing donut sprinkles.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Brian Regan" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/relevance-is-kind-of-a-weird-thing-if-one-does-topical-material-it/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b8/brian-regan-3918_court_relevance-is-kind-of-a-weird-thing-if-on_149127.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b8/brian-regan-3918_court_relevance-is-kind-of-a-weird-thing-if-on_149127.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b8/brian-regan-3918_court_relevance-is-kind-of-a-weird-thing-if-on_149127.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Relevance is kind of a weird thing. If one does topical material, it makes sense to want to be relevant. 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