---
title: "28 Ifs Quotes By Brené Brown"
description: "28 Ifs quotes by Brené Brown. Plus more from Brené Brown and more Ifs sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8c8/bren-brown-280_doing_what-s-worth-doing-even-if-you-fail-2711_271158.jpg"
---

> [What's worth doing even if you fail?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/what-s-worth-doing-even-if-you-fail/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8c8/bren-brown-280_doing_what-s-worth-doing-even-if-you-fail-2711_271158.jpg)

> [If we own the story then we can write the ending.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/if-we-own-the-story-then-we-can-write-the-ending/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/856/bren-brown-280_deep-thought_if-we-own-the-story-then-we-can-write-th_1228305.jpg)

> [Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do 'faith.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/faith-minus-vulnerability-and-mystery-equals-extremism-if-you-ve-got/)

[Brene Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f73/bren-brown-280_answers_faith-minus-vulnerability-and-mystery-eq_669974.jpg)

> [How can we embrace rest and play if we've tied our self-worth to what we produce?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/how-can-we-embrace-rest-and-play-if-we-ve-tied-our-self-worth-to-what/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3d5/bren-brown-280_embrace_how-can-we-embrace-rest-and-play-if-we-v_2857037.jpg)

> [We are a culture of people who've bought into the idea that if we stay busy enough, the truth of our lives…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/we-are-a-culture-of-people-who-ve-bought-into-the-idea-that-if-we/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/69e/bren-brown-280_busy_we-are-a-culture-of-people-who-ve-bought_1871115.jpg)

> [If you're not in the arena also getting your ass kicked, I'm not interested in your feedback.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/if-you-re-not-in-the-arena-also-getting-your-ass-kicked-i-m-not/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/742/bren-brown-280_arena_if-you-re-not-in-the-arena-also-getting_584421.jpg)

> [We can’t practice compassion with other people if we can’t treat ourselves kindly.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/we-can-t-practice-compassion-with-other-people-if-we-can-t-treat/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/610/bren-brown-280_compassion_we-can-t-practice-compassion-with-other_2824025.jpg)

> [If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/if-we-want-greater-clarity-in-our-purpose-or-deeper-and-more/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d7/bren-brown-280_clarity_if-we-want-greater-clarity-in-our-purpos_2080140.jpg)

> [If we want to fully experience love and belonging, we must believe that we are worthy of love and belonging.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/if-we-want-to-fully-experience-love-and-belonging-we-must-believe/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/475/bren-brown-280_believe_if-we-want-to-fully-experience-love-and_353936.jpg)

> [But I don't think it's as dangerous, scary, or terrifying as getting to the end of our lives and wondering, what if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/but-i-don-t-think-it-s-as-dangerous-scary-or-terrifying-as-getting-to/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9c6/bren-brown-280_dangerous_but-i-don-t-think-it-s-as-dangerous-scar_1455506.jpg)

> [Shame derives its power from being unspeakable...If we speak shame, it begins to wither. Just the way exposure to light was deadly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/shame-derives-its-power-from-being-unspeakable-if-we-speak-shame-it/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d11/bren-brown-280_empathy_shame-derives-its-power-from-being-unspe_849058.jpg)

> [If you put shame in a petri dish, it needs three ingredients to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence, and judgment. If you put…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/if-you-put-shame-in-a-petri-dish-it-needs-three-ingredients-to-grow/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/655/bren-brown-280_amount_if-you-put-shame-in-a-petri-dish-it-need_776044.jpg)

> [If we share our shame story with the wrong person, they can easily become one more piece of flying debris in an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/if-we-share-our-shame-story-with-the-wrong-person-they-can-easily/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e96/bren-brown-280_dangerous_if-we-share-our-shame-story-with-the-wro_2197757.jpg)

> [Every single person has a story that will break your heart. And if you're paying attention, many people... have a story that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/every-single-person-has-a-story-that-will-break-your-heart-and-if-you/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1c4/bren-brown-280_attention_every-single-person-has-a-story-that-wil_2063657.jpg)

> [Vulnerability is not weakness. And that myth is profoundly dangerous… Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection and the path to the feeling…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/vulnerability-is-not-weakness-and-that-myth-is-profoundly-dangerous/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e21/bren-brown-280_birthplace_vulnerability-is-not-weakness-and-that-m_1060414.jpg)

> [Nothing is as uncomfortable, dangerous and hurtful as believing that I'm standing on the outside of my life looking in and wondering…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/nothing-is-as-uncomfortable-dangerous-and-hurtful-as-believing-that-i/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7c0/bren-brown-280_believe_nothing-is-as-uncomfortable-dangerous-an_1083927.jpg)

> [If we want to be able to move through the difficult disappointments, the hurt feelings, and the heartbreaks that are inevitable in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/if-we-want-to-be-able-to-move-through-the-difficult-disappointments/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be5/bren-brown-280_able_if-we-want-to-be-able-to-move-through-th_2496766.jpg)

> [Courage is a value. My faith is the organizing principle in my life and what underpins my faith is courage and love,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/courage-is-a-value-my-faith-is-the-organizing-principle-in-my-life/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/129/bren-brown-280_alignment_courage-is-a-value-my-faith-is-the-organ_1699010.jpg)

> [Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/love-is-not-something-we-give-or-get-it-is-something-that-we-nurture-2/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7c1/bren-brown-280_affection_love-is-not-something-we-give-or-get-it_2719712.jpg)

> [I can't be paralyzed anymore by the critics. My new mantra is, if you're not in the arena getting your ass kicked…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/i-can-t-be-paralyzed-anymore-by-the-critics-my-new-mantra-is-if-you/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d06/bren-brown-280_appearance_i-can-t-be-paralyzed-anymore-by-the-crit_1523615.jpg)

> [Raising children who are hopeful and who have the courage to be vulnerable means stepping back and letting them experience disappointment, deal…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/raising-children-who-are-hopeful-and-who-have-the-courage-to-be/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dee/bren-brown-280_ability_raising-children-who-are-hopeful-and-who_1652365.jpg)

> [If there's a feeling you have, other people have it. If there's something weird about your life, other people have lived it.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/if-there-s-a-feeling-you-have-other-people-have-it-if-there-s/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ebb/bren-brown-280_belly_if-there-s-a-feeling-you-have-other-peop_979443.jpg)

> [If you're also in the arena and you're putting your ideas out and you're owning them and you're saying "I disagree with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/if-you-re-also-in-the-arena-and-you-re-putting-your-ideas-out-and-you/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1ad/bren-brown-280_academic_if-you-re-also-in-the-arena-and-you-re-p_57695.jpg)

> [Squandering our gifts brings distress to our lives. As it turns out, it's not merely benign or 'too bad' if we don't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/squandering-our-gifts-brings-distress-to-our-lives-as-it-turns-out-it-2/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/785/bren-brown-280_benign_squandering-our-gifts-brings-distress-to_1842205.jpg)

> [We judge people in areas where we’re vulnerable to shame, especially picking folks who are doing worse than we’re doing. If I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/we-judge-people-in-areas-where-we-re-vulnerable-to-shame-especially-2/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/433/bren-brown-280_appearance_we-judge-people-in-areas-where-we-re-vul_3021914.jpg)

> [I've come to this belief that, if you show me a woman who can sit with a man in real vulnerability, in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/i-ve-come-to-this-belief-that-if-you-show-me-a-woman-who-can-sit-with/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f98/bren-brown-280_belief_i-ve-come-to-this-belief-that-if-you-sho_2644335.jpg)

> [Shame: We all have it. It's that gremlin that says 'I'm not enough.' Or, if you're feeling pretty confident,...'ooh, who do you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/shame-we-all-have-it-it-s-that-gremlin-that-says-i-m-not-enough-or-if/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ec0/bren-brown-280_confident_shame-we-all-have-it-it-s-that-gremlin-t_2954166.jpg)

> [Shame cannot survive being spoken. It cannot tolerate having words wrapped around it. What it craves is secrecy, silence, and judgment. If…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/shame-cannot-survive-being-spoken-it-cannot-tolerate-having-words/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bdb/bren-brown-280_crave_shame-cannot-survive-being-spoken-it-can_137840.jpg)

## Other authors on Ifs

## More by Brené Brown

> [We're raising children who have little tolerance for disappointment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/we-re-raising-children-who-have-little-tolerance-for-disappointment/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

> [“always put off writing by reorganizing my entire house and spending way too much time and money buying office supplies and organizing systems. Every…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/always-put-off-writing-by-reorganizing-my-entire-house-and-spending/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

> [When you ask people about love, they tell you about heartbreak.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/when-you-ask-people-about-love-they-tell-you-about-heartbreak/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

> [“I can recognize shame when it’s happening.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/i-can-recognize-shame-when-it-s-happening/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

> [I carry a small sheet of paper in my wallet that has written on it the names of people whose opinions of me matter.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/i-carry-a-small-sheet-of-paper-in-my-wallet-that-has-written-on-it/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

> [Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/courage-starts-with-showing-up-and-letting-ourselves-be-seen/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

> [Waking up every day and loving someone who may or may not love us back, whose safety we can't ensure, who may stay in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/waking-up-every-day-and-loving-someone-who-may-or-may-not-love-us/)

[Brene Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

> [“No matter how separated we are by what we think and believe, we are part of the same spiritual story.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/no-matter-how-separated-we-are-by-what-we-think-and-believe-we-are/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

> [Perfectionism is self-destructive simply because there is no such thing as perfect. Perfection is an unattainable goal. Additionally, perfectionism is more about perception -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/perfectionism-is-self-destructive-simply-because-there-is-no-such/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

> [Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/shame-corrodes-the-very-part-of-us-that-believes-we-are-capable-of/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

> [If you're also in the arena and you're putting your ideas out and you're owning them and you're saying "I disagree with you about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/if-you-re-also-in-the-arena-and-you-re-putting-your-ideas-out-and-you/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

> [“I found that men and women with high levels of shame resilience share these four elements: They understand shame and recognize what messages and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/i-found-that-men-and-women-with-high-levels-of-shame-resilience-share/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

> [Connection gives purpose and meaning to our lives.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/connection-gives-purpose-and-meaning-to-our-lives/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

> [“But here’s the tricky part about compassion and connecting: We can’t call just anyone. It’s not that simple. I have a lot of good…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/but-here-s-the-tricky-part-about-compassion-and-connecting-we-can-t/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

> [“It turns out to be the place of true belonging, and it's the bravest and most sacred place you'll stand.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/it-turns-out-to-be-the-place-of-true-belonging-and-it-s-the-bravest/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

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                        "text": "But I don't think it's as dangerous, scary, or terrifying as getting to the end of our lives and wondering, what if I would have shown up?",
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                        "text": "If we share our shame story with the wrong person, they can easily become one more piece of flying debris in an already dangerous storm.(page 10)",
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                        "text": "Every single person has a story that will break your heart. And if you're paying attention, many people... have a story that will bring you to your knees. Nobody rides for free.",
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                        "text": "Vulnerability is not weakness. And that myth is profoundly dangerous… Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection and the path to the feeling of worthiness. If it doesn't feel vulnerable, the sharing is probably not constructive.",
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                        "text": "Nothing is as uncomfortable, dangerous and hurtful as believing that I'm standing on the outside of my life looking in and wondering what it would be like if I had the courage to show up and let myself be seen.",
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                        "text": "If we want to be able to move through the difficult disappointments, the hurt feelings, and the heartbreaks that are inevitable in a fully lived life, we can't equate defeat with being unworthy of love, belonging and joy. If we do, we'll never show up and try again.",
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                        "text": "Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them- we can only love others as much as we love ourselves. Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed, and rare.",
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                        "text": "I can't be paralyzed anymore by the critics. My new mantra is, if you're not in the arena getting your ass kicked on occasion, then I'm not interested in your feedback. You don't get to sit in the cheat seat and criticize my appearance or my work with mean-spiritedness if you're also not in the arena.",
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                        "text": "Raising children who are hopeful and who have the courage to be vulnerable means stepping back and letting them experience disappointment, deal with conflict, learn how to assert themselves, and have the opportunity to fail. If we’re always following our children into the arena, hushing the critics, and assuring their victory, they’ll never learn that they have the ability to dare greatly on their own.",
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                        "text": "If there's a feeling you have, other people have it. If there's something weird about your life, other people have lived it. If there's something kooky about your body, other people have that, too. We're not alone. There's some kind of tremendous relief in that and I think it can only be expressed in belly laughter. This tremendous relief that happens the millisecond we realize, it's not just me. That's what good laughter is about. It's about knowing that you're not alone.",
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                        "text": "If you're also in the arena and you're putting your ideas out and you're owning them and you're saying \"I disagree with you about this and that, I think you've got this wrong\" - then not only do I invite that, I freaking love that. I love that. I'm an academic. I'm hardwired for a good debate.",
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                        "text": "Squandering our gifts brings distress to our lives. As it turns out, it's not merely benign or 'too bad' if we don't use the gifts that we've been given; we pay for it with our emotional and physical well-being. When we don't use our talents to cultivate meaningful work, we struggle. We feel disconnected and weighted down by feelings of emptiness, frustration, resentment, shame, disappointment, fear, and even grief.",
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                        "text": "We judge people in areas where we’re vulnerable to shame, especially picking folks who are doing worse than we’re doing. If I feel good about my parenting, I have no interest in judging other people’s choices. If I feel good about my body, I don’t go around making fun of other people’s weight or appearance. We’re hard on each other because we’re using each other as a launching pad out of our own perceived deficiency.",
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                        "text": "I've come to this belief that, if you show me a woman who can sit with a man in real vulnerability, in deep fear, and be with him in it, I will show you a woman who, A, has done her work and, B, does not derive her power from that man. And if you show me a man who can sit with a woman in deep struggle and vulnerability and not try to fix it, but just hear her and be with her and hold space for it, I'll show you a guy who's done his work and a man who doesn't derive his power from controlling and fixing everything.",
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                        "text": "Shame: We all have it. It's that gremlin that says 'I'm not enough.' Or, if you're feeling pretty confident,...'ooh, who do you think you are?' Shame always has a seat.",
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                        "text": "Shame cannot survive being spoken. It cannot tolerate having words wrapped around it. What it craves is secrecy, silence, and judgment. If you stay quiet, you stay in a lot of self-judgment.",
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