---
title: "18 Ifs Quotes By Bob Hope"
description: "18 Ifs quotes by Bob Hope. Plus more from Bob Hope and more Ifs sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/655/bob-hope-1406_ifs_if-they-liked-you-they-didn-t-applaud-th_1659316.jpg"
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> [If they liked you, they didn't applaud -- they let you live.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-hope/if-they-liked-you-they-didn-t-applaud-they-let-you-live/)

[Bob Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-hope/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/655/bob-hope-1406_ifs_if-they-liked-you-they-didn-t-applaud-th_1659316.jpg)

> [Our first stop was red square, the heart of Moscow - if Moscow has one.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-hope/our-first-stop-was-red-square-the-heart-of-moscow-if-moscow-has-one/)

[Bob Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-hope/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b3/bob-hope-1406_firsts_our-first-stop-was-red-square-the-heart_1678346.jpg)

> [I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-hope/i-would-not-have-had-anything-to-eat-if-it-wasn-t-for-the-stuff-the/)

[Bob Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-hope/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3b1/bob-hope-1406_audience_i-would-not-have-had-anything-to-eat-if_1002506.jpg)

> [If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-hope/if-you-think-golf-is-relaxing-you-re-not-playing-it-right/)

[Bob Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-hope/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/940/bob-hope-1406_golf_if-you-think-golf-is-relaxing-you-re-not_2703549.jpg)

> [I'd give up golf if I didn't have so many sweaters.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-hope/i-d-give-up-golf-if-i-didn-t-have-so-many-sweaters/)

[Bob Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-hope/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/254/bob-hope-1406_giving_i-d-give-up-golf-if-i-didn-t-have-so-man_1388189.jpg)

> [If I had that kind of money, I wouldn't come to Vietnam, I'd send for it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-hope/if-i-had-that-kind-of-money-i-wouldn-t-come-to-vietnam-i-d-send-for-it/)

[Bob Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-hope/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/32d/bob-hope-1406_ifs_if-i-had-that-kind-of-money-i-wouldn-t-c_3194758.jpg)

> [I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-hope/i-ll-shoot-my-age-if-i-have-to-live-to-be-105/)

[Bob Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-hope/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/15e/bob-hope-1406_age_i-ll-shoot-my-age-if-i-have-to-live-to-b_2849082.jpg)

> [The place was so British, I wouldn't have been surprised if the mice wore monocles.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-hope/the-place-was-so-british-i-wouldn-t-have-been-surprised-if-the-mice/)

[Bob Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-hope/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a01/bob-hope-1406_british_the-place-was-so-british-i-wouldn-t-have_2069725.jpg)

> [I don't know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-hope/i-don-t-know-if-the-presidential-candidates-are-running-for-the-white/)

[Bob Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-hope/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/070/bob-hope-1406_animal_i-don-t-know-if-the-presidential-candida_1276526.jpg)

> [After the 1984 Summer Olympics, Reagan wanted to add the U.S. volleyball team to his Cabinet. He figured if they can't shove…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-hope/after-the-1984-summer-olympics-reagan-wanted-to-add-the-u-s/)

[Bob Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-hope/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0c0/bob-hope-1406_add_after-the-1984-summer-olympics-reagan-wa_1632890.jpg)

> [Go figure a crazy, mixed-up country where ballet outsells boxing. I wouldn't be surprised if their wrestling was on the level.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-hope/go-figure-a-crazy-mixed-up-country-where-ballet-outsells-boxing-i/)

[Bob Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-hope/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e4c/bob-hope-1406_ballet_go-figure-a-crazy-mixed-up-country-where_164152.jpg)

> [There's a very apt saying in show business: "If you don't go over budget in Paris, you're either very rich or very…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-hope/there-s-a-very-apt-saying-in-show-business-if-you-don-t-go-over/)

[Bob Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-hope/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e7d/bob-hope-1406_budgets_there-s-a-very-apt-saying-in-show-busine_2921990.jpg)

> [Not that they were that anxious to see Ronnie as President; they were afraid if he didn't get elected, he'd go back…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-hope/not-that-they-were-that-anxious-to-see-ronnie-as-president-they-were/)

[Bob Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-hope/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/60f/bob-hope-1406_acting_not-that-they-were-that-anxious-to-see-r_1089142.jpg)

> [Miniskirts have become quite a fad. They're even some guys wearing them. Don't laugh, if you had thought to of that, you'd…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-hope/miniskirts-have-become-quite-a-fad-they-re-even-some-guys-wearing/)

[Bob Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-hope/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/83a/bob-hope-1406_be-here-now_miniskirts-have-become-quite-a-fad-they_1420641.jpg)

> [As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window. I asked the colonel…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-hope/as-the-colonel-and-i-sat-swapping-stories-in-the-plane-a-jet-aircraft/)

[Bob Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-hope/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d8b/bob-hope-1406_air-travel_as-the-colonel-and-i-sat-swapping-storie_1011037.jpg)

> [With today's movies, if we took out all the bad language, we'd go back to silent films.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-hope/with-today-s-movies-if-we-took-out-all-the-bad-language-we-d-go-back/)

[Bob Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-hope/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/386/bob-hope-1406_bad-language_with-today-s-movies-if-we-took-out-all-t_1022633.jpg)

> [If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-hope/if-he-slices-the-budget-like-he-slices-a-golf-ball-the-nation-has/)

[Bob Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-hope/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a58/bob-hope-1406_balls_if-he-slices-the-budget-like-he-slices-a_1331838.jpg)

> [If my golf game was a prize fight, they'd stop it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-hope/if-my-golf-game-was-a-prize-fight-they-d-stop-it/)

[Bob Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-hope/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/007/bob-hope-1406_fighting_if-my-golf-game-was-a-prize-fight-they-d_893207.jpg)

## Other authors on Ifs

## More by Bob Hope

> [I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-hope/i-ruined-my-hands-in-the-ring-the-referee-kept-stepping-on-them/)

[Bob Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-hope/)

> [I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-hope/i-grew-up-with-six-brothers-that-s-how-i-learned-to-dance-waiting-for/)

[Bob Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-hope/)

> [Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-hope/having-so-many-gold-courses-so-close-together-was-ideal-for-me-with/)

[Bob Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-hope/)

> [Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-hope/timing-is-the-essence-of-life-and-definitely-of-comedy/)

[Bob Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-hope/)

> [That's life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-hope/that-s-life-the-older-you-get-the-tougher-it-is-to-score/)

[Bob Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-hope/)

> [Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-hope/contrary-to-what-certain-comedians-have-led-you-to-believe-the/)

[Bob Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-hope/)

> [She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn't understand us at all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-hope/she-spoke-perfect-english-which-led-to-considerable-trouble-she/)

[Bob Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-hope/)

> [My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-hope/my-father-told-me-all-about-the-birds-and-the-bees-the-liar-i-went/)

[Bob Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-hope/)

> [I need money. I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-hope/i-need-money-i-have-a-staff-of-30-and-four-houses-never-mind-the/)

[Bob Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-hope/)

> [In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you. In Hollywood the weatherman gets a shooting schedule from all the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-hope/in-england-when-you-make-a-movie-even-the-weather-is-against-you-in/)

[Bob Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-hope/)

> [Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-hope/tokyo-cab-drivers-are-all-ex-kamikaze-pilots/)

[Bob Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-hope/)

> [Go figure a crazy, mixed-up country where ballet outsells boxing. I wouldn't be surprised if their wrestling was on the level.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-hope/go-figure-a-crazy-mixed-up-country-where-ballet-outsells-boxing-i/)

[Bob Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-hope/)

> [Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-hope/bing-crosby-and-i-play-a-lot-of-golf-together-and-i-have-a-small/)

[Bob Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-hope/)

> [I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-hope/i-was-lucky-you-know-i-always-had-a-beautiful-girl-and-the-money-was/)

[Bob Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-hope/)

> [You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra, I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-hope/you-could-buy-my-book-in-a-paperback-edition-for-a-dollar-and-in-hard/)

[Bob Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-hope/)

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