---
title: "50 Ifs Quotes By Ann Coulter"
description: "50 Ifs quotes by Ann Coulter. Plus more from Ann Coulter and more Ifs sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bdd/ann-coulter-469_attack_if-you-attack-ann-coulter-you-don-t-end_1619014.png"
---

> [If you attack Ann Coulter, you don't end up with your cat killed or your tires slashed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/if-you-attack-ann-coulter-you-don-t-end-up-with-your-cat-killed-or/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bdd/ann-coulter-469_attack_if-you-attack-ann-coulter-you-don-t-end_1619014.png)

> [If you don't hate Clinton and the people who labored to keep him in office, you don't love your country.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/if-you-don-t-hate-clinton-and-the-people-who-labored-to-keep-him-in/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6ba/ann-coulter-469_clinton_if-you-don-t-hate-clinton-and-the-people_2116198.png)

> [Anorexics never have boyfriends. ... That's one way to know you don't have anorexia, if you have a boyfriend.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/anorexics-never-have-boyfriends-that-s-one-way-to-know-you-don-t-have/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ca/ann-coulter-469_anorexia_anorexics-never-have-boyfriends-that-s-o_470029.png)

> [If Hitler hadn't turned against their beloved Stalin, liberals would have stuck by him, too.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/if-hitler-hadn-t-turned-against-their-beloved-stalin-liberals-would/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/704/ann-coulter-469_beloved_if-hitler-hadn-t-turned-against-their-be_1663739.png)

> [There's never a recession if you work for the government.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/there-s-never-a-recession-if-you-work-for-the-government/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e8b/ann-coulter-469_government_there-s-never-a-recession-if-you-work-fo_2517726.png)

> [If any other religious cult knew so few basic facts about its own seminal beliefs as the liberal cult does about Joe…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/if-any-other-religious-cult-knew-so-few-basic-facts-about-its-own/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/75a/ann-coulter-469_belief_if-any-other-religious-cult-knew-so-few_2314972.png)

> [Liberals don't have to emerge from the hot tub and start attending NASCAR races or - God forbid - church, but it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/liberals-don-t-have-to-emerge-from-the-hot-tub-and-start-attending/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/431/ann-coulter-469_attending_liberals-don-t-have-to-emerge-from-the-h_1905110.png)

> [If I'm going to say anything about John Edwards in the future, I'll just wish he had been killed in a terrorist…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/if-i-m-going-to-say-anything-about-john-edwards-in-the-future-i-ll/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/36d/ann-coulter-469_assassination_if-i-m-going-to-say-anything-about-john_848519.png)

> [I never sought to be a pundit, or on TV, or a writer-it just kind of came to me. If you just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/i-never-sought-to-be-a-pundit-or-on-tv-or-a-writer-it-just-kind-of/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e7a/ann-coulter-469_bats_i-never-sought-to-be-a-pundit-or-on-tv-o_852882.png)

> [Only a war that serves no conceivable national interest gets the New York Time's endorsement. Liberals warm to the idea of American…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/only-a-war-that-serves-no-conceivable-national-interest-gets-the-new/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ce0/ann-coulter-469_america_only-a-war-that-serves-no-conceivable-na_1342326.png)

> [If those kids had been carrying guns they would have gunned down this one gunman... Don't pray. Learn to use guns.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/if-those-kids-had-been-carrying-guns-they-would-have-gunned-down-this/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d18/ann-coulter-469_carrying-guns_if-those-kids-had-been-carrying-guns-the_2862665.png)

> [I'm sure there are people who consider themselves Democrats, maybe even liberals, who are good Christians, but if so I do not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/i-m-sure-there-are-people-who-consider-themselves-democrats-maybe/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aa5/ann-coulter-469_christian_i-m-sure-there-are-people-who-consider-t_998907.png)

> [Liberals are more upset when a tree is chopped down than when a child is aborted. Even if one rates an unborn…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/liberals-are-more-upset-when-a-tree-is-chopped-down-than-when-a-child/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bd1/ann-coulter-469_children_liberals-are-more-upset-when-a-tree-is-c_955768.png)

> [The most dangerous action a woman can take when faced with a criminal is to resist with her fists: That tends to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/the-most-dangerous-action-a-woman-can-take-when-faced-with-a-criminal/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c8b/ann-coulter-469_action_the-most-dangerous-action-a-woman-can-ta_375010.png)

> [Fundamentalist Muslim terrorists kill three thousand Americans, but America isn't supposed to respond, because if we respond, they'll respond. We always hear…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/fundamentalist-muslim-terrorists-kill-three-thousand-americans-but/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/605/ann-coulter-469_america_fundamentalist-muslim-terrorists-kill-th_1430605.png)

> [The only beef Enron employees have with top management is that management did not inform employees of the collapse in time to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/the-only-beef-enron-employees-have-with-top-management-is-that/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/091/ann-coulter-469_beef_the-only-beef-enron-employees-have-with_2372517.jpg)

> [Even if corners were cut, (Iran-Contra) was a brilliant scheme. There is no possibility that anyone in any Democratic administration would have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/even-if-corners-were-cut-iran-contra-was-a-brilliant-scheme-there-is/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/49d/ann-coulter-469_administration_even-if-corners-were-cut-iran-contra-was_2497175.png)

> [Either we're removing a dictator who currently has plans to fund terrorism against American citizens or -- if Bush is completely wrong…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/either-we-re-removing-a-dictator-who-currently-has-plans-to-fund/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/98c/ann-coulter-469_action_either-we-re-removing-a-dictator-who-cur_211137.jpg)

> [As Bush said, after detailing some of Saddam Hussein's charming practices: “If this is not evil, then evil has no meaning.” It's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/as-bush-said-after-detailing-some-of-saddam-hussein-s-charming/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d4c/ann-coulter-469_abraham_as-bush-said-after-detailing-some-of-sad_2399833.jpg)

> [No science is ever frightening to Christians. Religious people don't need the science to come out any particular way on IQ or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/no-science-is-ever-frightening-to-christians-religious-people-don-t/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cef/ann-coulter-469_aids_no-science-is-ever-frightening-to-christ_3033261.jpg)

> [If you can somehow force a liberal into a point-counterpoint argument, his retorts will bear no relation to what you’ve said -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/if-you-can-somehow-force-a-liberal-into-a-point-counterpoint-argument/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8f0/ann-coulter-469_age_if-you-can-somehow-force-a-liberal-into_413858.png)

> [Marriage is under attack from so many different areas. There should be benefits associated with married people. Life is unfair. Maybe you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/marriage-is-under-attack-from-so-many-different-areas-there-should-be/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e4a/ann-coulter-469_areas_marriage-is-under-attack-from-so-many-di_1736442.jpg)

> [Looking at the line-up of speakers at the (Democratic National) Convention, I have developed the 7-11 challenge: I will quit making fun…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/looking-at-the-line-up-of-speakers-at-the-democratic-national/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b92/ann-coulter-469_challenges_looking-at-the-line-up-of-speakers-at-th_1665493.jpg)

> [In response to skyrocketing gas prices, liberals say, practically in unison, 'We can't drill our way out of this crisis.' What does…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/in-response-to-skyrocketing-gas-prices-liberals-say-practically-in/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8ac/ann-coulter-469_can-t-sleep_in-response-to-skyrocketing-gas-prices-l_155612.png)

> [Why don't Republicans spend all their airtime attacking the media for lying about what Obama's amnesty does and what the Democrats are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/why-don-t-republicans-spend-all-their-airtime-attacking-the-media-for/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/818/ann-coulter-469_amnesty_why-don-t-republicans-spend-all-their-ai_72466.png)

> [I was going to have a few comments on the other Democratic presidential candidate, John Edwards, but it turns out that you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/i-was-going-to-have-a-few-comments-on-the-other-democratic/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f1f/ann-coulter-469_comment_i-was-going-to-have-a-few-comments-on-th_1224928.png)

> [Six imams removed from a US Airways flight from Minneapolis to Phoenix are calling on Muslims to boycott the airline. If only…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/six-imams-removed-from-a-us-airways-flight-from-minneapolis-to/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a57/ann-coulter-469_airline_six-imams-removed-from-a-us-airways-flig_332165.png)

> [Press passes can't be that hard to come by if the White House allows that old Arab Helen Thomas to sit within…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/press-passes-can-t-be-that-hard-to-come-by-if-the-white-house-allows/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b2d/ann-coulter-469_hard_press-passes-can-t-be-that-hard-to-come_993574.png)

> [In the history of the nation, there has never been a political party so ridiculous as today's Democrats. It's as if all…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/in-the-history-of-the-nation-there-has-never-been-a-political-party/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3db/ann-coulter-469_america_in-the-history-of-the-nation-there-has-n_1243388.jpg)

> [If we had complete knowledge, you wouldn't need any intelligence gathering whatsoever. The president isn't god. We do have intelligence gathering.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/if-we-had-complete-knowledge-you-wouldn-t-need-any-intelligence/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/258/ann-coulter-469_gathering_if-we-had-complete-knowledge-you-wouldn_1341392.png)

> [If you attack the Clintons publicly, make sure all your friends know that you are not planning suicide, that you're not careless…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/if-you-attack-the-clintons-publicly-make-sure-all-your-friends-know/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8db/ann-coulter-469_attack_if-you-attack-the-clintons-publicly-make_1184984.jpg)

> [If liberals think they are losing elections because of the conservative bias in the media, they may as well give up right…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/if-liberals-think-they-are-losing-elections-because-of-the/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/664/ann-coulter-469_bias_if-liberals-think-they-are-losing-electi_2510800.png)

> [When a feminist as strident as Garofalo is defending the Hussein regime, you have to wonder if her newfound sobriety has hit…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/when-a-feminist-as-strident-as-garofalo-is-defending-the-hussein/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f94/ann-coulter-469_feminism_when-a-feminist-as-strident-as-garofalo_3134330.png)

> [ For decades now, \[Fuller\] Torrey has been warning America what would happen if the dangerously mentally ill were deinstitutionalized, and it's all… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/for-decades-now-fuller-torrey-has-been-warning-america-what-would/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ac4/ann-coulter-469_america_for-decades-now-fuller-torrey-has-been-w_2900928.png)

> [If liberals think Iraqis are genetically incapable of pulling off even the most rudimentary form of democracy, why do they believe 50…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/if-liberals-think-iraqis-are-genetically-incapable-of-pulling-off/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/34e/ann-coulter-469_believe_if-liberals-think-iraqis-are-genetically_817750.jpg)

> [If liberals were prevented from ever again calling Republicans dumb, they would be robbed of half their arguments. To be sure, they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/if-liberals-were-prevented-from-ever-again-calling-republicans-dumb/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/099/ann-coulter-469_argument_if-liberals-were-prevented-from-ever-aga_931975.png)

> [If it were true that conservatives were racist, sexist, homophobic, fascist, stupid, inflexible, angry, and self-righteous, shouldn't their arguments be easy to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/if-it-were-true-that-conservatives-were-racist-sexist-homophobic/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/14a/ann-coulter-469_angry_if-it-were-true-that-conservatives-were_2250257.jpg)

> [If Mexican farm labor is so much cheaper, maybe we should be growing our fruits and vegetables in Mexico. There's absolutely no…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/if-mexican-farm-labor-is-so-much-cheaper-maybe-we-should-be-growing/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5fc/ann-coulter-469_advantage_if-mexican-farm-labor-is-so-much-cheaper_2796861.png)

> [The media will spend weeks going through pay stubs for Bush's National Guard service in Alabama in the waning days of war,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/the-media-will-spend-weeks-going-through-pay-stubs-for-bush-s/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d6a/ann-coulter-469_alabama_the-media-will-spend-weeks-going-through_2714485.jpg)

> [Liberals don't mind discussing who is more patriotic if patriotism is defined as redistributing income and vetoing the Pledge of Allegiance. Only…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/liberals-don-t-mind-discussing-who-is-more-patriotic-if-patriotism-is/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee7/ann-coulter-469_allegiance_liberals-don-t-mind-discussing-who-is-mo_2508549.png)

## Other authors on Ifs

## More by Ann Coulter

> [The idea of a bowed and terrified liberal minority during McCarthy's 'reign of terror' is poppycock. Then as now, all elite opinion was against…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/the-idea-of-a-bowed-and-terrified-liberal-minority-during-mccarthy-s/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

> [My favorite Founding Fathers, Christians like John Adams, were absolutely appalled by slavery, and did not own slaves. I think we're going to have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/my-favorite-founding-fathers-christians-like-john-adams-were/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

> [This is no time to be precious about locating the exact individuals directly involved in this particular terrorist attack… We know who the homicidal…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/this-is-no-time-to-be-precious-about-locating-the-exact-individuals/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

> [This week's winner for best comedy line about the war is New York Democratic Sen. Charles Schumer. Referring to - well, it doesn't really…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/this-week-s-winner-for-best-comedy-line-about-the-war-is-new-york/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

> [Lawyers tend to be bright people. They tend to be-much more than many journalists I've encountered-sticklers for detail and accuracy, and they have a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/lawyers-tend-to-be-bright-people-they-tend-to-be-much-more-than-many/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

> [Liberals tell amazing lies about guns and everything else.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/liberals-tell-amazing-lies-about-guns-and-everything-else/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

> [There is no more a 'political middle' than there is a family in America with 2.3 children. People with opinions take sides. Contrary to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/there-is-no-more-a-political-middle-than-there-is-a-family-in-america/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

> [When contemplating college liberals, you really regret once again that John Walker is not getting the death penalty.We need to execute people like John…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/when-contemplating-college-liberals-you-really-regret-once-again-that/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

> [What actually happened during the Clinton presidency? No one can remember anything about it except the bimbos, the lies, and the felonies](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/what-actually-happened-during-the-clinton-presidency-no-one-can/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

> [Everyone is skeptical. Only the media are not skeptical, but, then, they were also not skeptical when the administration put out the line that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/everyone-is-skeptical-only-the-media-are-not-skeptical-but-then-they/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

> [ Here's a foolproof method for keeping America safe. Always do the exact 180-degree opposite of whatever \[Jimmy\] Carter says, as quickly as possible. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/here-s-a-foolproof-method-for-keeping-america-safe-always-do-the/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

> [Why don't Republicans spend all their airtime attacking the media for lying about what Obama's amnesty does and what the Democrats are doing? It's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/why-don-t-republicans-spend-all-their-airtime-attacking-the-media-for/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

> [I cut through the nonsense with the blinding light of truth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/i-cut-through-the-nonsense-with-the-blinding-light-of-truth/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

> [No wonder you guys lost.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/no-wonder-you-guys-lost/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

> [Democrats all claim they'll get rough with the terrorists, but they can't even face Brit Hume.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-coulter/democrats-all-claim-they-ll-get-rough-with-the-terrorists-but-they/)

[Ann Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-coulter/)

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                        "text": "Even if corners were cut, (Iran-Contra) was a brilliant scheme. There is no possibility that anyone in any Democratic administration would have gone to such lengths to fund anti-Communist forces. When Democrats scheme from the White House, it's to cover up the President's affair with an intern. When Republicans scheme, it's to support embattled anti-Communist freedom fighters sold out by the Democrats.",
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                        "text": "Either we're removing a dictator who currently has plans to fund terrorism against American citizens or -- if Bush is completely wrong and Eleanor Clift is completely right -- we're just removing a dictator who plans to terrorize a lot of people in the region, but not Americans specifically. Even for someone like me, who doesn't want America to be the world's policeman, the risk of precipitous action against Saddam Hussein doesn't keep me up at night.",
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                        "text": "As Bush said, after detailing some of Saddam Hussein's charming practices: “If this is not evil, then evil has no meaning.” It's not as if anyone is worried that we're making a horrible miscalculation and could be removing the Iraqi Abraham Lincoln by mistake.",
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                        "text": "No science is ever frightening to Christians. Religious people don't need the science to come out any particular way on IQ or AIDS or sex differences any more than they need the science to come out any particular way on evolution...If evolution is true, then God created evolution.",
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                        "text": "If you can somehow force a liberal into a point-counterpoint argument, his retorts will bear no relation to what you’ve said - unless you were in fact talking about your looks, your age, your weight, your personal obsessions, or whether you are a fascist. In the famous liberal two-step, they leap from one idiotic point to the next, so you can never nail them. It’s like arguing with someone with Attention Deficit Disorder.",
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                        "text": "Marriage is under attack from so many different areas. There should be benefits associated with married people. Life is unfair. Maybe you won't find the right person and you won't end up getting married. Oh, well, life is unfair. But married people, because of their capacity to have children, even if they're not going to end up having children, even if they're unable to bear children, marriage is an institution that is absolutely central to civilization.",
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                        "text": "Looking at the line-up of speakers at the (Democratic National) Convention, I have developed the 7-11 challenge: I will quit making fun of, for example, Dennis Kucinich, if he can prove he can run a 7-11 properly for 8 hours. We'll even let him have an hour or so of preparation before we open up. Within 8 hours, the money will be gone, the store will be empty, and he'll be explaining how three 11-year olds came in and asked for the money and he gave it to them.",
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                        "text": "In response to skyrocketing gas prices, liberals say, practically in unison, 'We can't drill our way out of this crisis.' What does that mean? This is like telling a starving man, 'You can't eat your way out of being hungry!' 'You can't water your way out of drought!' 'You can't sleep your way out of tiredness!' 'You can't drink yourself out of dehydration!' Seriously, what does it mean? Finding more oil isn't going to increase the supply of oil? It is the typical Democratic strategy to babble meaningless slogans, as if they have a plan. Their plan is: the permanent twilight of the human race.",
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                        "text": "Why don't Republicans spend all their airtime attacking the media for lying about what Obama's amnesty does and what the Democrats are doing? It's hard to avoid concluding that Republicans aren't trying to make the right arguments. In fact, it kind of looks like they're intentionally throwing the fight on amnesty. If a Republican majority in both houses of Congress can't stop Obama from issuing illegal immigrants Social Security cards and years of back welfare payments, there is no reason to vote Republican ever again.",
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                        "text": "I was going to have a few comments on the other Democratic presidential candidate, John Edwards, but it turns out that you have to go into rehab if you use the word 'faggot.'",
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                        "text": "Six imams removed from a US Airways flight from Minneapolis to Phoenix are calling on Muslims to boycott the airline. If only we could get Muslims to boycott all airlines, we could dispense with airport security altogether.",
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                        "text": "Press passes can't be that hard to come by if the White House allows that old Arab Helen Thomas to sit within yards of the President.",
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                        "text": "In the history of the nation, there has never been a political party so ridiculous as today's Democrats. It's as if all the brain-damaged people in America got together and formed a voting bloc.",
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                        "text": "If we had complete knowledge, you wouldn't need any intelligence gathering whatsoever. The president isn't god. We do have intelligence gathering.",
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                        "text": "If you attack the Clintons publicly, make sure all your friends know that you are not planning suicide, that you're not careless when you drive a car.",
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