---
title: "23 Ifs Quotes By Andy Rooney"
description: "23 Ifs quotes by Andy Rooney. Plus more from Andy Rooney and more Ifs sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/deb/andy-rooney-1253_creativity_creativity-is-a-by-product-of-hard-work_357125.png"
---

> [Creativity is a by-product of hard work. If I never have another really new idea, it won't matter.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/creativity-is-a-by-product-of-hard-work-if-i-never-have-another/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/deb/andy-rooney-1253_creativity_creativity-is-a-by-product-of-hard-work_357125.png)

> [It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/it-would-be-a-better-world-if-everyone-in-it-knew-all-the-truth-about/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/209/andy-rooney-1253_better-world_it-would-be-a-better-world-if-everyone-i_236573.png)

> [Most of the people in the world are good and decent if you give them a chance to be ...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/most-of-the-people-in-the-world-are-good-and-decent-if-you-give-them/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1d3/andy-rooney-1253_be-good_most-of-the-people-in-the-world-are-good_2242797.png)

> [In Washington, a confidential assistant is someone who, if you don't want to know something, you go and ask him and he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/in-washington-a-confidential-assistant-is-someone-who-if-you-don-t/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/890/andy-rooney-1253_asks_in-washington-a-confidential-assistant-i_2453061.png)

> [Don't take a butcher's advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he'd be a chef.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/don-t-take-a-butcher-s-advice-on-how-to-cook-meat-if-he-knew-he-d-be/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f5/andy-rooney-1253_advice_don-t-take-a-butcher-s-advice-on-how-to_1325636.png)

> [If I'd known how many problems I was going to run into before I finished, I can't remember a single project I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/if-i-d-known-how-many-problems-i-was-going-to-run-into-before-i/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/179/andy-rooney-1253_finished_if-i-d-known-how-many-problems-i-was-goi_1420983.png)

> [If you do see me in a restaurant, please, just let me eat my dinner.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/if-you-do-see-me-in-a-restaurant-please-just-let-me-eat-my-dinner/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/554/andy-rooney-1253_dinner_if-you-do-see-me-in-a-restaurant-please_2524353.png)

> [Once you pass forty, a dime isn't worth bending over to pick up if you drop one.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/once-you-pass-forty-a-dime-isn-t-worth-bending-over-to-pick-up-if-you/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/08c/andy-rooney-1253_bending_once-you-pass-forty-a-dime-isn-t-worth-b_1649638.png)

> [I am interested in details. If you go into anything far enough, you get into the details of it, and people turn…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/i-am-interested-in-details-if-you-go-into-anything-far-enough-you-get/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/700/andy-rooney-1253_details_i-am-interested-in-details-if-you-go-int_1975665.png)

> [If you put on an item of clothing that hurts just because you have an idea it looks better or conforms to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/if-you-put-on-an-item-of-clothing-that-hurts-just-because-you-have-an/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6bd/andy-rooney-1253_clothings_if-you-put-on-an-item-of-clothing-that-h_1655481.png)

> [Let's face it, though, anything that's apt to happen to an appliance like a blender isn't covered by the warranty anyway, so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/let-s-face-it-though-anything-that-s-apt-to-happen-to-an-appliance/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/931/andy-rooney-1253_appliances_let-s-face-it-though-anything-that-s-apt_2379276.jpg)

> [My advice is not to wait to be struck by an idea. If you're a writer, you sit down and damn well…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/my-advice-is-not-to-wait-to-be-struck-by-an-idea-if-you-re-a-writer/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a12/andy-rooney-1253_advice_my-advice-is-not-to-wait-to-be-struck-by_844126.png)

> [If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/if-on-the-other-hand-happiness-depends-on-a-good-breakfast-flowers-in/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/62b/andy-rooney-1253_being-happy_if-on-the-other-hand-happiness-depends-o_845144.png)

> [Democrats believe people are basically good but must be saved from themselves by the government. Republicans believe people are basically bad but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/democrats-believe-people-are-basically-good-but-must-be-saved-from/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7cd/andy-rooney-1253_believe_democrats-believe-people-are-basically-g_3227675.png)

> [I think a draft produces a better Army than the one we would have with all volunteers, because I think you get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/i-think-a-draft-produces-a-better-army-than-the-one-we-would-have/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e0d/andy-rooney-1253_army_i-think-a-draft-produces-a-better-army-t_633518.png)

> [The best Christmas trees come very close to exceeding nature. If some of our great decorated trees had been grown in a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/the-best-christmas-trees-come-very-close-to-exceeding-nature-if-some/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ac9/andy-rooney-1253_areas_the-best-christmas-trees-come-very-close_469781.png)

> [ Some people who hated Americans set out to kill a lot of us and they succeeded \[on 9/11\]…We're trying to protect ourselves… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/some-people-who-hated-americans-set-out-to-kill-a-lot-of-us-and-they/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/701/andy-rooney-1253_behave_some-people-who-hated-americans-set-out_949280.png)

> [I often pass a farm with cows grazing in the field and I think to myself how terrible it is that human…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/i-often-pass-a-farm-with-cows-grazing-in-the-field-and-i-think-to/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1d6/andy-rooney-1253_animal_i-often-pass-a-farm-with-cows-grazing-in_1386521.jpg)

> [I understand shipping - you have to expect to pay for the stamps or for the freight company - but what's this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/i-understand-shipping-you-have-to-expect-to-pay-for-the-stamps-or-for/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1d7/andy-rooney-1253_business_i-understand-shipping-you-have-to-expect_1090618.png)

> [I mean, the notion that we must love everything in this country or get out and go someplace else is ridiculous. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/i-mean-the-notion-that-we-must-love-everything-in-this-country-or-get/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/385/andy-rooney-1253_american-patriotic_i-mean-the-notion-that-we-must-love-ever_2621219.png)

> [If you don't enjoy getting up and working and finishing your work and sitting down to a meal with family or friends,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/if-you-don-t-enjoy-getting-up-and-working-and-finishing-your-work-and/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/caf/andy-rooney-1253_amount_if-you-don-t-enjoy-getting-up-and-workin_130675.jpg)

> [Republicans ... are conservatives who think it would be best if we faced the fact that people are no damned good. They…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/republicans-are-conservatives-who-think-it-would-be-best-if-we-faced/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/229/andy-rooney-1253_conservatives_republicans-are-conservatives-who-think_217255.jpg)

> [If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/if-you-get-murdered-because-you-go-on-a-date-with-someone-you-met-on/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b38/andy-rooney-1253_deserved_if-you-get-murdered-because-you-go-on-a_1604424.png)

## Other authors on Ifs

## More by Andy Rooney

> [I like Valentine's Day. The trouble is the florists and the candy-makers and the card people are all advertising so much, you don't dare…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/i-like-valentine-s-day-the-trouble-is-the-florists-and-the-candy/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

> [Almost all of us have an elevator or two in our lives somewhere. We wait for them, we ride on them. We're annoyed by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/almost-all-of-us-have-an-elevator-or-two-in-our-lives-somewhere-we/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

> [Last night we had three small zucchini for dinner that were grown within fifty feet of our back door. I estimate they cost somewhere…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/last-night-we-had-three-small-zucchini-for-dinner-that-were-grown/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

> [Sooner or later the world will have to return to the good old days when we fought wars and killed people the old-fashioned way,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/sooner-or-later-the-world-will-have-to-return-to-the-good-old-days/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

> [I've learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/i-ve-learned-that-no-matter-how-serious-your-life-requires-you-to-be/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

> [Unfortunately, propaganda works.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/unfortunately-propaganda-works/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

> [You're almost always better off keeping your mouth shut, but don't let that stop you from popping off.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/you-re-almost-always-better-off-keeping-your-mouth-shut-but-don-t-let/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

> [The fastest thing computers do is go obsolete.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/the-fastest-thing-computers-do-is-go-obsolete/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

> [Every one starts out being an atheist.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/every-one-starts-out-being-an-atheist/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

> [If you don't enjoy getting up and working and finishing your work and sitting down to a meal with family or friends, then the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/if-you-don-t-enjoy-getting-up-and-working-and-finishing-your-work-and/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

> [As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/as-an-old-reporter-we-have-a-few-secrets-and-the-first-thing-is-we/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

> [I've learned... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/i-ve-learned-that-it-s-those-small-daily-happenings-that-make-life-so/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

> [... all of us talk faster than we listen.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/all-of-us-talk-faster-than-we-listen/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

> [You can't be a good writer without being a good thinker.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/you-can-t-be-a-good-writer-without-being-a-good-thinker/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

> [A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don't know what they are talking about.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-rooney/a-great-many-people-do-not-have-the-right-to-their-own-opinion/)

[Andy Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-rooney/)

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                        "text": "If you do see me in a restaurant, please, just let me eat my dinner.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Once you pass forty, a dime isn't worth bending over to pick up if you drop one.",
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                        "text": "I am interested in details. If you go into anything far enough, you get into the details of it, and people turn out to be interested in what makes things work.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "If you put on an item of clothing that hurts just because you have an idea it looks better or conforms to what other people are wearing, it's dumb.",
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                        "text": "Let's face it, though, anything that's apt to happen to an appliance like a blender isn't covered by the warranty anyway, so I never send them in. If it breaks, I'll buy a new one. That's the American way.",
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                        "text": "My advice is not to wait to be struck by an idea. If you're a writer, you sit down and damn well decide to have an idea. That's the way to get an idea.",
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                        "text": "If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.",
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                        "text": "Democrats believe people are basically good but must be saved from themselves by the government. Republicans believe people are basically bad but they'll be okay if they're left alone.",
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                        "text": "I think a draft produces a better Army than the one we would have with all volunteers, because I think you get average Americans if you have a draft. And if it's an all-volunteer Army, you get people who join up because of some problem in their own lives. They don't have anything else to do, they don't have a job, or they can't find what they want to do, so they join the Army. And it doesn't produce the best Army.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "The best Christmas trees come very close to exceeding nature. If some of our great decorated trees had been grown in a remote forest area with lights that came on every evening as it grew dark, the whole world would come to look at them and marvel at the mystery of their great beauty.",
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                        "text": "Some people who hated Americans set out to kill a lot of us and they succeeded [on 9/11]…We're trying to protect ourselves with more weapons. We have to do it, I guess, but it might be better if we figured out how to behave as a nation in a way that wouldn't make so many people in the world want to kill us.",
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                        "text": "I often pass a farm with cows grazing in the field and I think to myself how terrible it is that human beings grow other animals just to kill them and eat them. Most of us think of vegetarians as nuts and I'm not a vegetarian but I wouldn't be surprised if we came to a time in 50 or 100 years when civilized people everywhere refused to eat animals.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I understand shipping - you have to expect to pay for the stamps or for the freight company - but what's this handling they always have? How much does handling cost, anyway? I don't want a lot of people handling something I'm going to buy before I get it. How much would it cost if you didn't handle it before you sent it to me?",
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                        "text": "I mean, the notion that we must love everything in this country or get out and go someplace else is ridiculous. I mean, if you -- the best thing a patriotic American can do is to look and be critical and find out what's wrong and try to make it better. That's what a patriotic American does.",
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                        "text": "If you don't enjoy getting up and working and finishing your work and sitting down to a meal with family or friends, then the chances are you're not going to be happy. If someone bases his happiness or unhappiness on major events like a great new job, huge amounts of money, a flawlessly happy marriage or a trip to Paris, that person isn't going to be happy much of the time. If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.",
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                        "text": "Republicans ... are conservatives who think it would be best if we faced the fact that people are no damned good. They think that if we admit that we have selfish, acquisitive natures and then set out to get all we can for ourselves by working hard for it, that things will be better for everyone. They are not insensitive to the poor, but tend to think the poor are impoverished because they won't work. They think there would be fewer of them to feel sorry for if the government did not encourage the proliferation of the least fit among us with welfare programs.",
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