--- title: "15 I can Quotes By Jerry Seinfeld" description: "15 I can quotes by Jerry Seinfeld. Plus more from Jerry Seinfeld and more I can sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2c8/jerry-seinfeld-880_chickens_i-can-t-eat-chicken-and-look-at-stripper_2158268.jpg" --- > [I can't eat chicken and look at strippers at the same time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/i-can-t-eat-chicken-and-look-at-strippers-at-the-same-time/) [Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2c8/jerry-seinfeld-880_chickens_i-can-t-eat-chicken-and-look-at-stripper_2158268.jpg) > [Sex, that’s meaningless, I can understand that, but dinner; that’s heavy. That’s like an hour.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/sex-that-s-meaningless-i-can-understand-that-but-dinner-that-s-heavy/) [Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bb6/jerry-seinfeld-880_dinner_sex-that-s-meaningless-i-can-understand_681079.jpg) > [I can't go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/i-can-t-go-to-a-bad-movie-by-myself-what-am-i-gonna-make-sarcastic/) [Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/375/jerry-seinfeld-880_bad-movie_i-can-t-go-to-a-bad-movie-by-myself-what_1611519.jpg) > [Isn't it weird that we drink milk, stuff designed to nourish baby cows? How did THAT happen? Did some cattleman once say,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/isn-t-it-weird-that-we-drink-milk-stuff-designed-to-nourish-baby-cows/) [Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c19/jerry-seinfeld-880_baby_isn-t-it-weird-that-we-drink-milk-stuff_2520145.jpg) > [I can walk through a hotel lobby and watch people at the desk and see what they're doing. People don't look at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/i-can-walk-through-a-hotel-lobby-and-watch-people-at-the-desk-and-see/) [Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9ec/jerry-seinfeld-880_desks_i-can-walk-through-a-hotel-lobby-and-wat_2730667.jpg) > [I wish I was a phone machine. I wish if I saw somebody on the street I didn't want to talk to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/i-wish-i-was-a-phone-machine-i-wish-if-i-saw-somebody-on-the-street-i/) [Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/544/jerry-seinfeld-880_answering-machines_i-wish-i-was-a-phone-machine-i-wish-if-i_1506318.jpg) > [I won't do something unless I can get at least two or three good laughs out of it. If I can't, it's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/i-won-t-do-something-unless-i-can-get-at-least-two-or-three-good/) [Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eac/jerry-seinfeld-880_good_i-won-t-do-something-unless-i-can-get-at_1949047.jpg) > [I mean, she's giving and caring and genuinely concerned about the welfare of others. I can't be with someone like that.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/i-mean-she-s-giving-and-caring-and-genuinely-concerned-about-the/) [Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7da/jerry-seinfeld-880_caring_i-mean-she-s-giving-and-caring-and-genui_2928663.jpg) > [I will never understand why they cook on TV. I can't smell it. Can't eat it. Can't taste it. The end of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/i-will-never-understand-why-they-cook-on-tv-i-can-t-smell-it-can-t/) [Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/795/jerry-seinfeld-880_cameras_i-will-never-understand-why-they-cook-on_2793610.jpg) > [Why does that pharmacist have to be two and a half feet higher than everybody else? Who the hell is this guy?…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/why-does-that-pharmacist-have-to-be-two-and-a-half-feet-higher-than/) [Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/572/jerry-seinfeld-880_bigs_why-does-that-pharmacist-have-to-be-two_931698.jpg) > [Why is commitment such a big problem for a man? I think that for some reason when a man is driving down…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/why-is-commitment-such-a-big-problem-for-a-man-i-think-that-for-some/) [Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c86/jerry-seinfeld-880_big-problem_why-is-commitment-such-a-big-problem-for_1257078.jpg) > [I was in front of an ambulance the other day, and I noticed that the word ambulance was spelled in reverse print…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/i-was-in-front-of-an-ambulance-the-other-day-and-i-noticed-that-the/) [Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aad/jerry-seinfeld-880_ambulance_i-was-in-front-of-an-ambulance-the-other_220860.jpg) > [Did you ever notice, when you are sitting at a red light, that when the person in front of you pulls up…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/did-you-ever-notice-when-you-are-sitting-at-a-red-light-that-when-the/) [Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e22/jerry-seinfeld-880_coffee_did-you-ever-notice-when-you-are-sitting_3145878.jpg) > [I don't want to be too critical of what other people do, but when people go back to do the same thing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/i-don-t-want-to-be-too-critical-of-what-other-people-do-but-when/) [Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/405/jerry-seinfeld-880_back_i-don-t-want-to-be-too-critical-of-what_628149.jpg) > [What causes homophobia? What is it that makes the heterosexual man worry about this? I think it's because deep down all men…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/what-causes-homophobia-what-is-it-that-makes-the-heterosexual-man/) [Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2be/jerry-seinfeld-880_bits_what-causes-homophobia-what-is-it-that-m_940134.jpg) ## Other authors on I can ## More by Jerry Seinfeld > [“i chose not to run”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/i-chose-not-to-run/) [Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/) > [We’re all trying to get to the same island, whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive in, it doesn’t matter. What matters is when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/we-re-all-trying-to-get-to-the-same-island-whether-you-swim-fly-surf/) [Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/) > [I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/i-have-a-nice-bookshelf-in-my-office-but-not-my-house-i-m-crass-but/) [Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/) > [There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/there-s-no-downside-to-fame-and-people-who-whine-about-it-make-me/) [Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/) > [We're all trying to get to the same island — whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive, it doesn't matter. What matters is when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/we-re-all-trying-to-get-to-the-same-island-whether-you-swim-fly-surf-2/) [Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/) > [I was in the drug store the other day trying to get a cold medication...Not easy. There's an entire wall of products you need.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/i-was-in-the-drug-store-the-other-day-trying-to-get-a-cold-medication/) [Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/) > [I went up to the camp and Paul had me eat my first oyster I had never had an oyster in my life. And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/i-went-up-to-the-camp-and-paul-had-me-eat-my-first-oyster-i-had-never/) [Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/) > [Then, finally, the third year, begging the parents, I got the Superman Halloween costume. Cardboard box, self-made top, mask included. Remember the rubber band…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/then-finally-the-third-year-begging-the-parents-i-got-the-superman/) [Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/) > [This is really a crazy idea, you know. It probably won't work, but that will be interesting, too. You have to motivate yourself with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/this-is-really-a-crazy-idea-you-know-it-probably-won-t-work-but-that/) [Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/) > [If you get something right, you really feel it, right in your chest, on stage. I think it's an incomparable experience.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/if-you-get-something-right-you-really-feel-it-right-in-your-chest-on/) [Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/) > [People have an infinite attention span if you are entertaining them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/people-have-an-infinite-attention-span-if-you-are-entertaining-them/) [Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/) > [It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/it-s-hard-to-do-nothing-because-you-tend-to-do-something-and-then-you/) [Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/) > [A really hard laugh is like sex-one of the ultimate diversions of existence.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/a-really-hard-laugh-is-like-sex-one-of-the-ultimate-diversions-of/) [Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/) > [There are many things you can point to as proof that the human is not smart. But my personal favorite would have to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/there-are-many-things-you-can-point-to-as-proof-that-the-human-is-not/) [Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/) > [You know what I never get with the limo? The tinted windows. Is that so people don't see you? Yeah, what a better way…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/you-know-what-i-never-get-with-the-limo-the-tinted-windows-is-that-so/) [Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/i-can/jerry-seinfeld/#itemlist", "name": "15 I can Quotes By Jerry Seinfeld", "numberOfItems": 15, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I can't eat chicken and look at strippers at the same time.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jerry Seinfeld" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/i-can-t-eat-chicken-and-look-at-strippers-at-the-same-time/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2c8/jerry-seinfeld-880_chickens_i-can-t-eat-chicken-and-look-at-stripper_2158268.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2c8/jerry-seinfeld-880_chickens_i-can-t-eat-chicken-and-look-at-stripper_2158268.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2c8/jerry-seinfeld-880_chickens_i-can-t-eat-chicken-and-look-at-stripper_2158268.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I can't eat chicken and look at strippers at the same time.” — Jerry Seinfeld", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Sex, that’s meaningless, I can understand that, but dinner; that’s heavy. 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What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?” — Jerry Seinfeld", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Isn't it weird that we drink milk, stuff designed to nourish baby cows? How did THAT happen? Did some cattleman once say, \"Oh, man, I can't wait till them calves are done so I can get ME a hit of that stuff.\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jerry Seinfeld" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/isn-t-it-weird-that-we-drink-milk-stuff-designed-to-nourish-baby-cows/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c19/jerry-seinfeld-880_baby_isn-t-it-weird-that-we-drink-milk-stuff_2520145.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c19/jerry-seinfeld-880_baby_isn-t-it-weird-that-we-drink-milk-stuff_2520145.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c19/jerry-seinfeld-880_baby_isn-t-it-weird-that-we-drink-milk-stuff_2520145.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Isn't it weird that we drink milk, stuff designed to nourish baby cows? How did THAT happen? Did some…” — Jerry Seinfeld", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 5, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I can walk through a hotel lobby and watch people at the desk and see what they're doing. People don't look at me. They don't even know I'm there.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jerry Seinfeld" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/i-can-walk-through-a-hotel-lobby-and-watch-people-at-the-desk-and-see/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9ec/jerry-seinfeld-880_desks_i-can-walk-through-a-hotel-lobby-and-wat_2730667.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9ec/jerry-seinfeld-880_desks_i-can-walk-through-a-hotel-lobby-and-wat_2730667.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9ec/jerry-seinfeld-880_desks_i-can-walk-through-a-hotel-lobby-and-wat_2730667.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I can walk through a hotel lobby and watch people at the desk and see what they're doing. People don't look…” — Jerry Seinfeld", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 6, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I wish I was a phone machine. I wish if I saw somebody on the street I didn't want to talk to I could just go, \"Excuse me, I'm not here right now, If you just leave a message, I can walk away.\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jerry Seinfeld" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/i-wish-i-was-a-phone-machine-i-wish-if-i-saw-somebody-on-the-street-i/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/544/jerry-seinfeld-880_answering-machines_i-wish-i-was-a-phone-machine-i-wish-if-i_1506318.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/544/jerry-seinfeld-880_answering-machines_i-wish-i-was-a-phone-machine-i-wish-if-i_1506318.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/544/jerry-seinfeld-880_answering-machines_i-wish-i-was-a-phone-machine-i-wish-if-i_1506318.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I wish I was a phone machine. I wish if I saw somebody on the street I didn't want to talk to I could just…” — Jerry Seinfeld", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I won't do something unless I can get at least two or three good laughs out of it. If I can't, it's not gonna make the team.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jerry Seinfeld" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/i-won-t-do-something-unless-i-can-get-at-least-two-or-three-good/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eac/jerry-seinfeld-880_good_i-won-t-do-something-unless-i-can-get-at_1949047.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eac/jerry-seinfeld-880_good_i-won-t-do-something-unless-i-can-get-at_1949047.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eac/jerry-seinfeld-880_good_i-won-t-do-something-unless-i-can-get-at_1949047.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I won't do something unless I can get at least two or three good laughs out of it. If I can't, it's not…” — Jerry Seinfeld", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I mean, she's giving and caring and genuinely concerned about the welfare of others. I can't be with someone like that.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jerry Seinfeld" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/i-mean-she-s-giving-and-caring-and-genuinely-concerned-about-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7da/jerry-seinfeld-880_caring_i-mean-she-s-giving-and-caring-and-genui_2928663.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7da/jerry-seinfeld-880_caring_i-mean-she-s-giving-and-caring-and-genui_2928663.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7da/jerry-seinfeld-880_caring_i-mean-she-s-giving-and-caring-and-genui_2928663.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I mean, she's giving and caring and genuinely concerned about the welfare of others. I can't be with someone…” — Jerry Seinfeld", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I will never understand why they cook on TV. I can't smell it. Can't eat it. Can't taste it. The end of the show they hold it up to the camera, 'Well, here it is. You can't have any. Thanks for watching. Goodbye.'", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jerry Seinfeld" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/i-will-never-understand-why-they-cook-on-tv-i-can-t-smell-it-can-t/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/795/jerry-seinfeld-880_cameras_i-will-never-understand-why-they-cook-on_2793610.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/795/jerry-seinfeld-880_cameras_i-will-never-understand-why-they-cook-on_2793610.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/795/jerry-seinfeld-880_cameras_i-will-never-understand-why-they-cook-on_2793610.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I will never understand why they cook on TV. I can't smell it. Can't eat it. Can't taste it. The end of the…” — Jerry Seinfeld", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Why does that pharmacist have to be two and a half feet higher than everybody else? Who the hell is this guy? \"Clear out, everybody. I'm working with pills up here. I'm taking them from this big bottle and then I'm gonna put them in the little bottle. That's my whole job. I can't be down on the floor with you people.\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jerry Seinfeld" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/why-does-that-pharmacist-have-to-be-two-and-a-half-feet-higher-than/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/572/jerry-seinfeld-880_bigs_why-does-that-pharmacist-have-to-be-two_931698.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/572/jerry-seinfeld-880_bigs_why-does-that-pharmacist-have-to-be-two_931698.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/572/jerry-seinfeld-880_bigs_why-does-that-pharmacist-have-to-be-two_931698.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Why does that pharmacist have to be two and a half feet higher than everybody else? Who the hell is this…” — Jerry Seinfeld", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Why is commitment such a big problem for a man? I think that for some reason when a man is driving down that freeway of love, the woman he's with is like an exit, but he doesn't want to get off there. He wants to keep driving. And the woman is like, \"Look, gas, food, lodging, that's our exit, that's everything we need to be happy... Get off here, now!\" But the man is focusing on the sign underneath that says, \"Next exit 27 miles,\" and he thinks, \"I can make it.\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jerry Seinfeld" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/why-is-commitment-such-a-big-problem-for-a-man-i-think-that-for-some/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c86/jerry-seinfeld-880_big-problem_why-is-commitment-such-a-big-problem-for_1257078.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c86/jerry-seinfeld-880_big-problem_why-is-commitment-such-a-big-problem-for_1257078.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c86/jerry-seinfeld-880_big-problem_why-is-commitment-such-a-big-problem-for_1257078.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Why is commitment such a big problem for a man? I think that for some reason when a man is driving down that…” — Jerry Seinfeld", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I was in front of an ambulance the other day, and I noticed that the word ambulance was spelled in reverse print on the hood of the ambulance. And I thought, Well, isn't that clever. I look in the rear-view mirror; I can read the word ambulance behind me. Of course while you're reading, you don't see where you're going, you crash. You need an ambulance. I think they're trying to drum up some business on the way back from lunch.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jerry Seinfeld" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/i-was-in-front-of-an-ambulance-the-other-day-and-i-noticed-that-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aad/jerry-seinfeld-880_ambulance_i-was-in-front-of-an-ambulance-the-other_220860.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aad/jerry-seinfeld-880_ambulance_i-was-in-front-of-an-ambulance-the-other_220860.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aad/jerry-seinfeld-880_ambulance_i-was-in-front-of-an-ambulance-the-other_220860.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I was in front of an ambulance the other day, and I noticed that the word ambulance was spelled in reverse…” — Jerry Seinfeld", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 13, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Did you ever notice, when you are sitting at a red light, that when the person in front of you pulls up a couple of inches, you are compelled to move up too? Do we really think we are making progress toward our destination? \"Whew, I thought we would be late, but now that I am nine inches closer, I can stop for coffee and a danish!\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jerry Seinfeld" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/did-you-ever-notice-when-you-are-sitting-at-a-red-light-that-when-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e22/jerry-seinfeld-880_coffee_did-you-ever-notice-when-you-are-sitting_3145878.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e22/jerry-seinfeld-880_coffee_did-you-ever-notice-when-you-are-sitting_3145878.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e22/jerry-seinfeld-880_coffee_did-you-ever-notice-when-you-are-sitting_3145878.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Did you ever notice, when you are sitting at a red light, that when the person in front of you pulls up a…” — Jerry Seinfeld", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 14, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I don't want to be too critical of what other people do, but when people go back to do the same thing that they did, I'm completely confused. I'm like, 'Didn't you make that movie already?' I've been very fortunate, and I'm well taken care of, so the least I can do is try to go forward.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jerry Seinfeld" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/i-don-t-want-to-be-too-critical-of-what-other-people-do-but-when/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/405/jerry-seinfeld-880_back_i-don-t-want-to-be-too-critical-of-what_628149.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/405/jerry-seinfeld-880_back_i-don-t-want-to-be-too-critical-of-what_628149.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/405/jerry-seinfeld-880_back_i-don-t-want-to-be-too-critical-of-what_628149.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I don't want to be too critical of what other people do, but when people go back to do the same thing that…” — Jerry Seinfeld", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 15, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "What causes homophobia? What is it that makes the heterosexual man worry about this? I think it's because deep down all men know that we have weak sales resistance. We're constantly buying shoes that hurt us, pants that don't fit right. Men think, 'Obviously I can be talked into anything. What if I accidentally wander into some sort of homosexual store thinking it's a shoe store and the salesmen says, 'Just hold this guy's hand, walk around a little bit, see how it feels. No obligation, no pressure, just try it.'", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jerry Seinfeld" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/what-causes-homophobia-what-is-it-that-makes-the-heterosexual-man/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2be/jerry-seinfeld-880_bits_what-causes-homophobia-what-is-it-that-m_940134.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2be/jerry-seinfeld-880_bits_what-causes-homophobia-what-is-it-that-m_940134.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2be/jerry-seinfeld-880_bits_what-causes-homophobia-what-is-it-that-m_940134.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“What causes homophobia? What is it that makes the heterosexual man worry about this? I think it's because…” — Jerry Seinfeld", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/i-can/jerry-seinfeld/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/i-can/jerry-seinfeld/", "name": "I can Quotes by Jerry Seinfeld", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/i-can/jerry-seinfeld/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2c8/jerry-seinfeld-880_chickens_i-can-t-eat-chicken-and-look-at-stripper_2158268.jpg" }, "description": "15 I can quotes by Jerry Seinfeld. 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