---
title: "11 Humourous Quotes By Warren Ellis"
description: "11 Humourous quotes by Warren Ellis. Plus more from Warren Ellis and more Humourous sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2f9/warren-ellis-2541_awesome_bat-stood-in-the-open-door-and-said-i-am_2649831.png"
---

> [“Bat stood in the open door and said "I am a crime scene unit detective from the New York City Police Department,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-ellis/bat-stood-in-the-open-door-and-said-i-am-a-crime-scene-unit-detective/)

[Warren Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-ellis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2f9/warren-ellis-2541_awesome_bat-stood-in-the-open-door-and-said-i-am_2649831.png)

> [“Detective John Tallow, 1st Precinct." "You," said Scarly. "I hate you so much my dick is hard.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-ellis/detective-john-tallow-1st-precinct-you-said-scarly-i-hate-you-so-much/)

[Warren Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-ellis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c7f/warren-ellis-2541_hard_detective-john-tallow-1st-precinct-you-s_2452192.png)

> [“The ECTs are moving the guns in small batches," Bat said. "We're making them take so many photos that one of them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-ellis/the-ects-are-moving-the-guns-in-small-batches-bat-said-we-re-making/)

[Warren Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-ellis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/49d/warren-ellis-2541_humourous_the-ects-are-moving-the-guns-in-small-ba_65133.png)

> [“Tallow walked into Bat and Scarly's office to find Bat slumped on a chair with his head on the workbench, turned away…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-ellis/tallow-walked-into-bat-and-scarly-s-office-to-find-bat-slumped-on-a/)

[Warren Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-ellis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/616/warren-ellis-2541_humourous_tallow-walked-into-bat-and-scarly-s-offi_659249.png)

> [“Tallow turned the corner into Bat and Scarly's office to be greeted by a large plastic robot on the bench waving its…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-ellis/tallow-turned-the-corner-into-bat-and-scarly-s-office-to-be-greeted/)

[Warren Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-ellis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c65/warren-ellis-2541_humourous_tallow-turned-the-corner-into-bat-and-sc_2592918.jpg)

> [“The two guys who ran the place, always in Williamsburg hipster uniforms of short-sleeved shirts and neatly trimmed beards that looked stuck…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-ellis/the-two-guys-who-ran-the-place-always-in-williamsburg-hipster/)

[warren ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-ellis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7cc/warren-ellis-2541_every-night_the-two-guys-who-ran-the-place-always-in_1001039.jpg)

> [“She's really married?" Tallow said to Bat. "Yeah. Talia's like this Scandinavian Amazon who can break rocks with her boobs. She could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-ellis/she-s-really-married-tallow-said-to-bat-yeah-talia-s-like-this/)

[Warren Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-ellis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/52e/warren-ellis-2541_humourous_she-s-really-married-tallow-said-to-bat_929997.png)

> [“Tallow was nervously aware that his name was on the worse cold-case dump CSU had ever seen. He was not looking forward…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-ellis/tallow-was-nervously-aware-that-his-name-was-on-the-worse-cold-case/)

[Warren Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-ellis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df2/warren-ellis-2541_cold-case_tallow-was-nervously-aware-that-his-name_3062287.png)

> [“There ain't enough happens in soccer. It's like watching twenty-two hair models kick a ball around for what seems like six months…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-ellis/there-ain-t-enough-happens-in-soccer-it-s-like-watching-twenty-two/)

[Warren Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-ellis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b8b/warren-ellis-2541_goals_there-ain-t-enough-happens-in-soccer-it_369504.png)

> [“He tried to close a hand around the precious coffee but had to jerk his fingers away, sharply enough that his wrist…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-ellis/he-tried-to-close-a-hand-around-the-precious-coffee-but-had-to-jerk/)

[Warren Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-ellis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/605/warren-ellis-2541_coffee_he-tried-to-close-a-hand-around-the-prec_290158.png)

> [“Where's the elevator?" Mike asked, sheathing his weapon. Tallow felt a little better telling Mike there wasn't an elevator and watching his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-ellis/where-s-the-elevator-mike-asked-sheathing-his-weapon-tallow-felt-a/)

[Warren Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-ellis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee9/warren-ellis-2541_gym_where-s-the-elevator-mike-asked-sheathin_1804931.png)

## Other authors on Humourous

## More by Warren Ellis

> [“Small things bring joy, somedays.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-ellis/small-things-bring-joy-somedays/)

[Warren Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-ellis/)

> [When I'm working in finite serials, I always think in terms of the entire book rather than the individual episode because, by far, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-ellis/when-i-m-working-in-finite-serials-i-always-think-in-terms-of-the/)

[Warren Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-ellis/)

> [“IT TOOK a conscious effort for Tallow to keep his hand off his gun as he walked up the apartment building’s stairs. There was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-ellis/it-took-a-conscious-effort-for-tallow-to-keep-his-hand-off-his-gun-as/)

[Warren Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-ellis/)

> [“The ECTs are moving the guns in small batches," Bat said. "We're making them take so many photos that one of them asked if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-ellis/the-ects-are-moving-the-guns-in-small-batches-bat-said-we-re-making/)

[Warren Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-ellis/)

> [“I wish I still had that photo.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-ellis/i-wish-i-still-had-that-photo/)

[Warren Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-ellis/)

> [Listen to the Chair Leg of Truth! It does not lie!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-ellis/listen-to-the-chair-leg-of-truth-it-does-not-lie/)

[Warren Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-ellis/)

> [“The two most dangerous things in the world are rich people and crazy people.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-ellis/the-two-most-dangerous-things-in-the-world-are-rich-people-and-crazy/)

[Warren Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-ellis/)

> [Here's the thing about Apple technology: once you own a piece, you want to use it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-ellis/here-s-the-thing-about-apple-technology-once-you-own-a-piece-you-want/)

[Warren Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-ellis/)

> [“I feel...a terrible need to piss in a Christening font.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-ellis/i-feel-a-terrible-need-to-piss-in-a-christening-font/)

[Warren Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-ellis/)

> [Journalism is just a gun. It’s only got one bullet in it, but if you aim right, that’s all you need. Aim it right,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-ellis/journalism-is-just-a-gun-it-s-only-got-one-bullet-in-it-but-if-you/)

[Warren Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-ellis/)

> [“The book is almost always better than the movie. You could have no better case in point than FROM HELL, Alan Moore's best graphic…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-ellis/the-book-is-almost-always-better-than-the-movie-you-could-have-no/)

[Warren Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-ellis/)

> [“Life is something very short that happens in between deaths.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-ellis/life-is-something-very-short-that-happens-in-between-deaths/)

[Warren Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-ellis/)

> [It's a strange world. Let's keep it that way.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-ellis/it-s-a-strange-world-let-s-keep-it-that-way/)

[Warren Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-ellis/)

> [“He tried to close a hand around the precious coffee but had to jerk his fingers away, sharply enough that his wrist popped painfully.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-ellis/he-tried-to-close-a-hand-around-the-precious-coffee-but-had-to-jerk/)

[Warren Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-ellis/)

> [I was originally going to train as a journalist, passing a series of exams that winnowed ten thousand applicants down to one hundred places…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-ellis/i-was-originally-going-to-train-as-a-journalist-passing-a-series-of/)

[Warren Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-ellis/)

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