---
title: "203 Humourous Quotes by 96 authors"
description: "Browse 203 Humourous quotes by 96 authors. Discover the best Humourous sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/909/benny-bellamacina-3875_humour_never-say-no-to-now-796259_796259.jpg"
---

> [“Never say no to now”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/benny-bellamacina/never-say-no-to-now/)

[Benny Bellamacina](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/benny-bellamacina/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/909/benny-bellamacina-3875_humour_never-say-no-to-now-796259_796259.jpg)

> [“Dark is dark in the darkness.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chet-williamson/dark-is-dark-in-the-darkness/)

[Chet Williamson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chet-williamson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b3a/chet-williamson-48908_dark_dark-is-dark-in-the-darkness-2983580_2983580.png)

> [“We're like superheroes!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-head/we-re-like-superheroes/)

[Matthew Head](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthew-head/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/947/matthew-head-87466_comic_we-re-like-superheroes-2712063_2712063.jpg)

> [“More women would be feminists but we spotted the haircuts before we joined”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daily-florence/more-women-would-be-feminists-but-we-spotted-the-haircuts-before-we/)

[Daily Florence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daily-florence/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3b6/daily-florence-95471_female-quotes_more-women-would-be-feminists-but-we-spo_1715871.jpg)

> [A pair of Blahniks and a girl can vanquish anything](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tyne-o-connell/a-pair-of-blahniks-and-a-girl-can-vanquish-anything/)

[Tyne O'Connell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tyne-o-connell/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/600/tyne-o-connell-20421_girl_a-pair-of-blahniks-and-a-girl-can-vanqui_953217.jpg)

> [“The only way to see everything, my dear, is to see it absolutely.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherry-lynn-ferguson/the-only-way-to-see-everything-my-dear-is-to-see-it-absolutely/)

[Sherry Lynn Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherry-lynn-ferguson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/42c/sherry-lynn-ferguson-277929_absolutely_the-only-way-to-see-everything-my-dear-i_413816.jpg)

> [“Always smile first thing in the morning. Might as well get it over with.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/w-c-fields-2/always-smile-first-thing-in-the-morning-might-as-well-get-it-over-with/)

[W.C. Fields](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/w-c-fields-2/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/652/w-c-fields-2-37568_humourous_always-smile-first-thing-in-the-morning_598482.jpg)

> [“Some perv lured you here via a magical website?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-g-howard/some-perv-lured-you-here-via-a-magical-website/)

[A.G. Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-g-howard/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/619/a-g-howard-3922_humourous_some-perv-lured-you-here-via-a-magical-w_2394507.jpg)

> [“Well, go on then, Abby; run along and let the nice man compromise you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-gracie/well-go-on-then-abby-run-along-and-let-the-nice-man-compromise-you/)

[Anne Gracie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-gracie/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e81/anne-gracie-27325_compromise_well-go-on-then-abby-run-along-and-let-t_2870639.jpg)

> [Wise men learn more from fools than fools from the wise.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cato-the-elder/wise-men-learn-more-from-fools-than-fools-from-the-wise/)

[Cato the Elder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cato-the-elder/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d4/cato-the-elder-17964_april-fools-day_wise-men-learn-more-from-fools-than-fool_1881571.png)

> [“The English winter is long, cold and wet, just like the English summer”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/benny-bellamacina/the-english-winter-is-long-cold-and-wet-just-like-the-english-summer/)

[Benny Bellamacina](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/benny-bellamacina/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/095/benny-bellamacina-3875_england_the-english-winter-is-long-cold-and-wet_2501811.jpg)

> [“Detective John Tallow, 1st Precinct." "You," said Scarly. "I hate you so much my dick is hard.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-ellis/detective-john-tallow-1st-precinct-you-said-scarly-i-hate-you-so-much/)

[Warren Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-ellis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c7f/warren-ellis-2541_hard_detective-john-tallow-1st-precinct-you-s_2452192.png)

> [“I've had quite enough danger for a while I think. I might have some more when I'm thirteen, but definitely not before…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joshua-donellan/i-ve-had-quite-enough-danger-for-a-while-i-think-i-might-have-some/)

[Joshua Donellan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joshua-donellan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/348/joshua-donellan-56988_danger_i-ve-had-quite-enough-danger-for-a-while_189791.jpg)

> [“Lawn looked down at his patient. "In the words of the philosopher Sceptum, the founder of my profession: am I going to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/lawn-looked-down-at-his-patient-in-the-words-of-the-philosopher/)

[Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f4d/terry-pratchett-19_discworld_lawn-looked-down-at-his-patient-in-the-w_527299.jpg)

> [“How do you spell 'contravention'?" said Carrot, turning over a page. "I don't," said Nobby, pushing through the crowds.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/how-do-you-spell-contravention-said-carrot-turning-over-a-page-i-don/)

[Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1ed/terry-pratchett-19_humourous_how-do-you-spell-contravention-said-carr_3171227.jpg)

> [“Mrs. Joe was a very clean housekeeper, but had an exquisite art of making her cleanliness more uncomfortable and unacceptable than dirt…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-dickens/mrs-joe-was-a-very-clean-housekeeper-but-had-an-exquisite-art-of/)

[Charles Dickens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-dickens/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/43b/charles-dickens-34_art_mrs-joe-was-a-very-clean-housekeeper-but_4986.jpg)

> [“Look, sir, I know Angua. She's not the useless type. She doesn't stand there and scream helplessly. She makes other people do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/look-sir-i-know-angua-she-s-not-the-useless-type-she-doesn-t-stand/)

[Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c3/terry-pratchett-19_discworld_look-sir-i-know-angua-she-s-not-the-usel_2513969.jpg)

> [“The three thieves looked around. As their eyes grew accustomed to the gloom, they received a general impression of armourality, with strong…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/the-three-thieves-looked-around-as-their-eyes-grew-accustomed-to-the/)

[Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5fd/terry-pratchett-19_discworld_the-three-thieves-looked-around-as-their_1389850.jpg)

> [“I don’t suppose you’d want to go destroy some evil, would you? the voice said. I’m not really sure what that means,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brandon-sanderson/i-don-t-suppose-you-d-want-to-go-destroy-some-evil-would-you-the/)

[Brandon Sanderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brandon-sanderson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5aa/brandon-sanderson-112_humourous_i-don-t-suppose-you-d-want-to-go-destroy_1066302.jpg)

> [“Silk stockings. With garters . Well, they were out. There were a lot of things he'd do for Sybil, but if garters…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/silk-stockings-with-garters-well-they-were-out-there-were-a-lot-of/)

[Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2c0/terry-pratchett-19_discworld_silk-stockings-with-garters-well-they-we_2106380.jpg)

> [“Mr Vimes," said Mrs Winkings, "ve cannot help but notice that you still haf not employed any of our members in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/mr-vimes-said-mrs-winkings-ve-cannot-help-but-notice-that-you-still/)

[Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/819/terry-pratchett-19_discworld_mr-vimes-said-mrs-winkings-ve-cannot-hel_1949173.jpg)

> [“The Codex actually sounds kind of creepy here. “Yeeeees, tell me eeeeeverything.” I was Marked by a very cute boy with terrible…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cassandra-clare/the-codex-actually-sounds-kind-of-creepy-here-yeeeees-tell-me/)

[Cassandra Clare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cassandra-clare/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ff4/cassandra-clare-9_clary_the-codex-actually-sounds-kind-of-creepy_313276.jpg)

> [“At times like this it's traditional that a hero comes forth," said the President of the Guild of Assassins. "A dragon slayer.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/at-times-like-this-it-s-traditional-that-a-hero-comes-forth-said-the/)

[Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/acd/terry-pratchett-19_assassins_at-times-like-this-it-s-traditional-that_593478.jpg)

> [“Did you know? There are three major milestones in human evolution. One, the discovery of fire; two, the invention of the wheel;…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/merlin-franco/did-you-know-there-are-three-major-milestones-in-human-evolution-one/)

[Merlin Franco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/merlin-franco/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a3/merlin-franco-26902_biology_did-you-know-there-are-three-major-miles_1247054.jpg)

> [“It was possible she’d been too focused on her need for another cocktail to realize we were witnessing one of the portents…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/seanan-mcguire/it-was-possible-she-d-been-too-focused-on-her-need-for-another/)

[Seanan McGuire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/seanan-mcguire/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/73a/seanan-mcguire-972_apocalypse_it-was-possible-she-d-been-too-focused-o_2880300.jpg)

> [“The street was full of animals, milling around uncertainly. When animals are in a state of uncertainty they get nervous, and the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/the-street-was-full-of-animals-milling-around-uncertainly-when/)

[Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d1c/terry-pratchett-19_animals_the-street-was-full-of-animals-milling-a_266496.jpg)

> [“It was a beautiful, clear Southern California kind of Christmas Eve, the kind where Santa shows up in khaki shorts and a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/z-a-maxfield/it-was-a-beautiful-clear-southern-california-kind-of-christmas-eve/)

[Z.A. Maxfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/z-a-maxfield/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/130/z-a-maxfield-15819_christmas_it-was-a-beautiful-clear-southern-califo_1829558.jpg)

> [“Percy stormed over to the magical cooler. No one tried to stop him. He knocked open the lid and rummaged throught the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-riordan/percy-stormed-over-to-the-magical-cooler-no-one-tried-to-stop-him-he/)

[Rick Riordan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-riordan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e6b/rick-riordan-27_coke_percy-stormed-over-to-the-magical-cooler_3224548.jpg)

> [“Er, why do you need to work in a dark room, though?" he said. "The imps don't need it, do they?" "Ah,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/er-why-do-you-need-to-work-in-a-dark-room-though-he-said-the-imps-don/)

[Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a0e/terry-pratchett-19_dark-room_er-why-do-you-need-to-work-in-a-dark-roo_2463817.jpg)

> [“ You have no power over us , said the Auditor. We are not alive. BUT YOU ARE DEMONSTRATING ARROGANCE, PRIDE AND…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/you-have-no-power-over-us-said-the-auditor-we-are-not-alive-but-you/)

[Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9d7/terry-pratchett-19_discworld_you-have-no-power-over-us-said-the-audit_1174244.jpg)

> [“Murphy caught that arm and continued the motion, using her own body as a fulcrum in a classic hip throw - except…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-butcher/murphy-caught-that-arm-and-continued-the-motion-using-her-own-body-as/)

[Jim Butcher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-butcher/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/17b/jim-butcher-151_dresden-files_murphy-caught-that-arm-and-continued-the_1722468.jpg)

> [“Inspirations sleet through the universe continuously. Their destination, as if they cared, is the right mind in the right place at the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/inspirations-sleet-through-the-universe-continuously-their/)

[Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8b0/terry-pratchett-19_first-place_inspirations-sleet-through-the-universe_724469.jpg)

> [Another priest said,"Is it true you've said you'll believe in any god whose existence can be proved by logical debate?""Yes."Vimes had a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/another-priest-said-is-it-true-you-ve-said-you-ll-believe-in-any-god/)

[Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/759/terry-pratchett-19_argument_another-priest-said-is-it-true-you-ve-sa_1308547.jpg)

> [“Damn it!” I rubbed my eyes. My head hurt from staring at the laptop screen the whole day. “I’ve got to put…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chase-webster/damn-it-i-rubbed-my-eyes-my-head-hurt-from-staring-at-the-laptop/)

[Chase Webster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chase-webster/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f31/chase-webster-107779_chase-webster_damn-it-i-rubbed-my-eyes-my-head-hurt-fr_76148.jpg)

> [“When you say fair, Samantha,” said Mr Green through a peculiar smile, “do you mean one of those travelling fleets of vehicles…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-gorton/when-you-say-fair-samantha-said-mr-green-through-a-peculiar-smile-do/)

[Mark Gorton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-gorton/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/001/mark-gorton-84042_bumbling-boy_when-you-say-fair-samantha-said-mr-green_2922280.jpg)

> [If all the fools in this world should die, lordly God how lonely I should be.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/if-all-the-fools-in-this-world-should-die-lordly-god-how-lonely-i/)

[Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/58e/mark-twain-22_dies_if-all-the-fools-in-this-world-should-di_1742474.png)

> [“I thought dwarfs loved gold," said Angua. "They just say that to get it into bed.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/i-thought-dwarfs-loved-gold-said-angua-they-just-say-that-to-get-it/)

[Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d34/terry-pratchett-19_discworld_i-thought-dwarfs-loved-gold-said-angua-t_881467.jpg)

> [“The trouble with eating Italian is that 5 or 6 days later, you're hungry again.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-miller/the-trouble-with-eating-italian-is-that-5-or-6-days-later-you-re/)

[George Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d7c/george-miller-37717_dining_the-trouble-with-eating-italian-is-that_894651.jpg)

> [“I'm sorry, honey. I'm sure if you were a terrorist, you'd make a wonderful one”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/madeleine-george/i-m-sorry-honey-i-m-sure-if-you-were-a-terrorist-you-d-make-a/)

[Madeleine George](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/madeleine-george/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/843/madeleine-george-41838_humourous_i-m-sorry-honey-i-m-sure-if-you-were-a-t_549119.jpg)

> [“All I had to say to anyone that doubted our love was, "Eat your knickers!".”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tyne-o-connell/all-i-had-to-say-to-anyone-that-doubted-our-love-was-eat-your-knickers/)

[Tyne O'Connell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tyne-o-connell/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d46/tyne-o-connell-20421_humour_all-i-had-to-say-to-anyone-that-doubted_946522.jpg)

## Top authors on Humourous

- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b023/author-terry-pratchett-89528.jpg) Terry Pratchett 77 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humourous/terry-pratchett/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b024/author-warren-ellis-94554.jpg) Warren Ellis 11 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humourous/warren-ellis/)
- [Carsten Stroud 5 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humourous/carsten-stroud/)

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                        "text": "“More women would be feminists but we spotted the haircuts before we joined”",
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                        "text": "“Some perv lured you here via a magical website?”",
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                        "text": "“The English winter is long, cold and wet, just like the English summer”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Detective John Tallow, 1st Precinct.\" \"You,\" said Scarly. \"I hate you so much my dick is hard.”",
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                        "text": "“I've had quite enough danger for a while I think. I might have some more when I'm thirteen, but definitely not before then...”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Lawn looked down at his patient. \"In the words of the philosopher Sceptum, the founder of my profession: am I going to get paid for this?”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“How do you spell 'contravention'?\" said Carrot, turning over a page. \"I don't,\" said Nobby, pushing through the crowds.”",
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                        "text": "“Mrs. Joe was a very clean housekeeper, but had an exquisite art of making her cleanliness more uncomfortable and unacceptable than dirt itself.”",
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                        "text": "“Look, sir, I know Angua. She's not the useless type. She doesn't stand there and scream helplessly. She makes other people do that.”",
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                        "text": "“The three thieves looked around. As their eyes grew accustomed to the gloom, they received a general impression of armourality, with strong overtones of helmetness.”",
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                        "text": "“I don’t suppose you’d want to go destroy some evil, would you? the voice said. I’m not really sure what that means, to be honest. I’ll just trust you to decide.”",
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                        "text": "“Silk stockings. With garters . Well, they were out. There were a lot of things he'd do for Sybil, but if garters figured anywhere in the relationship they weren't going to be on him.”",
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                        "text": "“Mr Vimes,\" said Mrs Winkings, \"ve cannot help but notice that you still haf not employed any of our members in the Vatch...\" Say 'Watch', why don't you? Vimes thought. I know you can. Let the twenty-third letter of the alphabet enter your life.”",
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                        "text": "“The Codex actually sounds kind of creepy here. “Yeeeees, tell me eeeeeverything.” I was Marked by a very cute boy with terrible impulse control. I don’t remember because I was basically unconscious but everyone was mad at him when I woke up. The end, love Clary.”",
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                        "text": "“At times like this it's traditional that a hero comes forth,\" said the President of the Guild of Assassins. \"A dragon slayer. Where is he, that's what I want to know? Why aren't our schools turning out young people with the skills society needs?”",
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                        "text": "“Did you know? There are three major milestones in human evolution. One, the discovery of fire; two, the invention of the wheel; three, the creation of budget airlines.”",
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                        "text": "“It was possible she’d been too focused on her need for another cocktail to realize we were witnessing one of the portents of the apocalypse. ”The Luidaeg is singing Disney songs.”",
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                        "text": "“The street was full of animals, milling around uncertainly. When animals are in a state of uncertainty they get nervous, and the street was already, as it were, paved with anxiety.”",
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                        "text": "“It was a beautiful, clear Southern California kind of Christmas Eve, the kind where Santa shows up in khaki shorts and a Hawaiian shirt and shades, flashing a peace sign with one hand and sipping a Corona with the other.”",
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                        "text": "“Percy stormed over to the magical cooler. No one tried to stop him. He knocked open the lid and rummaged throught the ice. There had to be one. Please. He was rewarded with s silver-and-red can of soda. He brandished it at the dolphin warriors as if spraying them with bug repellent. \"Behold!\" Percy shouted. \"The god's chosen beverage. Tremble before the horror of Diet Coke!”",
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                        "text": "“Er, why do you need to work in a dark room, though?\" he said. \"The imps don't need it, do they?\" \"Ah, zis is for my experiment,\" said Otto proudly. \"You know zat another term for an iconographer would be 'photographer'? From the old word photos in Latation, vhich means - \" \"'To prance around like a pillock ordering everyone about as if you owned the place'\", said William. \"Ah, you know it!”",
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                        "text": "“ You have no power over us , said the Auditor. We are not alive. BUT YOU ARE DEMONSTRATING ARROGANCE, PRIDE AND STUPIDITY. THESE ARE EMOTIONS. I WOULD SAY THEY ARE SIGNS OF LIFE. \"Excuse me?\" said the shining figure in white. But you are all alone here ! \"Excuse me ?\" YES? said Death. WHAT IS IT? \"This is the Apocalypse, yes?\" said the shining figure petulantly. WE ARE TALKING . \"Yes, right, but is it the Apocalypse? The actual end of the actual whole world?\" No , said the Auditor. YES, said Death. IT IS. \"Great!\" said the figure. What? said the Auditor. WHAT? said Death.”",
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                        "text": "“Murphy caught that arm and continued the motion, using her own body as a fulcrum in a classic hip throw - except that Binder was facing in the opposite direction than usual for that technique. You could hear his arm come out of its socket fifty feet away. And then he hit the gravel face-first. Binder got extra points for brains in my book, after that: he lay still and didn't put up a struggle as Murphy dragged his wrists behind his back and cuffed him. I traded a glance with Mouse and said, wisely, 'Hard-core.”",
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                        "text": "“Inspirations sleet through the universe continuously. Their destination, as if they cared, is the right mind in the right place at the right time. They hit the right neuron, there's a chain reaction, and a little while later someone is blinking furiously in the TV lights and wondering how the hell he came up with the idea of pre-sliced bread in the first place. Leonard of Quirm knew about inspirations. One of his earliest inventions was an earthed metal nightcap, worn in the hope that the damned things would stop leaving their white-hot trails across his tortured imagination. It seldom worked. He knew the shame of waking up to find the sheets covered with nocturnal sketches of seige engines for apple-peeling machines.”",
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                        "text": "Another priest said,\"Is it true you've said you'll believe in any god whose existence can be proved by logical debate?\"\"Yes.\"Vimes had a feeling about the immediate future and took a few steps away from Dorfl.\"But the gods plainly do exist,\" said a priest.\"It Is Not Evident.\"A bolt of lightning lanced down through the clouds and hit Dorfl's helmet. There was a sheet of flame and then a trickling noise. Dorfl's molten armour formed puddles around his white-hot feet.\"I Don't Call That Much Of An Argument,\" said Dorfl calmly, from somewhere in the clouds of smoke.",
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                        "text": "“When you say fair, Samantha,” said Mr Green through a peculiar smile, “do you mean one of those travelling fleets of vehicles that arrive and set up things like spinning Waltzers and Big Wheels and all manner of machines that whizz people around in circles and up and down and from side to side? Machines that could...” Mr Green turned away and his unnatural smile became even more unsettling... “easily go wrong!”",
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