---
title: "4 Humorous-quotes Quotes By Emily Austin"
description: "4 Humorous-quotes quotes by Emily Austin. Plus more from Emily Austin and more Humorous-quotes sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5a6/emily-austin-52282_busses_the-bus-i-am-riding-on-must-be-on-its-wa_653285.jpg"
---

> [“The bus I am riding on must be on its way to a garbage convention. Never before has a more rancid assemblage…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-austin/the-bus-i-am-riding-on-must-be-on-its-way-to-a-garbage-convention/)

[Emily Austin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-austin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5a6/emily-austin-52282_busses_the-bus-i-am-riding-on-must-be-on-its-wa_653285.jpg)

> [“I asked a nurse for dental floss and was told that I am not allowed dental floss. Apparently dental floss can be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-austin/i-asked-a-nurse-for-dental-floss-and-was-told-that-i-am-not-allowed/)

[Emily Austin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-austin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/87b/emily-austin-52282_corn_i-asked-a-nurse-for-dental-floss-and-was_1206177.jpg)

> [“Ivy’s taken me to her parent’s house... I was originally lured into her car with the promise of a burrito. Ivy did…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-austin/ivy-s-taken-me-to-her-parent-s-house-i-was-originally-lured-into-her/)

[Emily Austin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-austin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b03/emily-austin-52282_burritos_ivy-s-taken-me-to-her-parent-s-house-i-w_2587045.jpg)

> [“As it turns out, my acceptance of the heroin addict’s invitation to party may have been a case of poor judgement.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-austin/as-it-turns-out-my-acceptance-of-the-heroin-addict-s-invitation-to/)

[emily austin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-austin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b7/emily-austin-52282_addict_as-it-turns-out-my-acceptance-of-the-her_3155886.jpg)

## Other authors on Humorous-quotes

## More by Emily Austin

> [“The bus I am riding on must be on its way to a garbage convention. Never before has a more rancid assemblage of people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-austin/the-bus-i-am-riding-on-must-be-on-its-way-to-a-garbage-convention/)

[Emily Austin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-austin/)

> [“I have to share a room. I am expected to sleep mere meters from a woman whose mental ailment is unknown to me. For…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-austin/i-have-to-share-a-room-i-am-expected-to-sleep-mere-meters-from-a/)

[Emily Austin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-austin/)

> [“I asked a nurse for dental floss and was told that I am not allowed dental floss. Apparently dental floss can be used for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-austin/i-asked-a-nurse-for-dental-floss-and-was-told-that-i-am-not-allowed/)

[Emily Austin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-austin/)

> [“Her teeth and lips are tinted purple from the Kool-Aid. Mine are probably purple too, but I can’t see them. You can’t see your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-austin/her-teeth-and-lips-are-tinted-purple-from-the-kool-aid-mine-are/)

[Emily Austin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-austin/)

> [“Ivy’s taken me to her parent’s house... I was originally lured into her car with the promise of a burrito. Ivy did not mention…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-austin/ivy-s-taken-me-to-her-parent-s-house-i-was-originally-lured-into-her/)

[Emily Austin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-austin/)

> [“As it turns out, my acceptance of the heroin addict’s invitation to party may have been a case of poor judgement.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-austin/as-it-turns-out-my-acceptance-of-the-heroin-addict-s-invitation-to/)

[emily austin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-austin/)

> [“I’d rather be me now, than me any age prior. But there is this heaviness to aging. Who I am was built on the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-austin/i-d-rather-be-me-now-than-me-any-age-prior-but-there-is-this/)

[Emily Austin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-austin/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "ItemList",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humorous-quotes/emily-austin/#itemlist",
            "name": "4 Humorous-quotes Quotes By Emily Austin",
            "numberOfItems": 4,
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“The bus I am riding on must be on its way to a garbage convention. Never before has a more rancid assemblage of people congregated. I am at this moment privy to a momentous moment in the history of human smell. My name will probably be memorized by future students, preparing to answer this frequently asked exam question: Who demonstrated a supernatural ability to remain conscious on the most disgusting vehicle to ever disturb our debauched world?”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Emily Austin"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-austin/the-bus-i-am-riding-on-must-be-on-its-way-to-a-garbage-convention/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5a6/emily-austin-52282_busses_the-bus-i-am-riding-on-must-be-on-its-wa_653285.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5a6/emily-austin-52282_busses_the-bus-i-am-riding-on-must-be-on-its-wa_653285.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5a6/emily-austin-52282_busses_the-bus-i-am-riding-on-must-be-on-its-wa_653285.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“The bus I am riding on must be on its way to a garbage convention. Never before has a more rancid assemblage…” — Emily Austin",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“I asked a nurse for dental floss and was told that I am not allowed dental floss. Apparently dental floss can be used for several functions besides the maintenance of healthy gums. These apparently include self-harm. When instructed that I was not permitted dental floss because of “risks it raises associated with suicide” I envisioned a noose made entirely of floss. Realizing such a noose would require a dramatic amount of floss to effectively uphold any human person, I brought it to the attention of a nurse. “I don’t believe that even the most practiced engineers could fashion any functioning noose out of a single container of floss,” I say. “People use it to cut themselves,” she explained. “Oh,” I replied. I had just about come to terms with the no-floss rule until the hospital, in a flagrant display of disrespect for its patients, chose to serve us corn on the cob for lunch. “Are you aware that we are not allowed dental floss?” I yelled at the nurse bringing me the corn. I then threw the corn violently from my plate into the nearest wall.”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Emily Austin"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-austin/i-asked-a-nurse-for-dental-floss-and-was-told-that-i-am-not-allowed/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/87b/emily-austin-52282_corn_i-asked-a-nurse-for-dental-floss-and-was_1206177.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/87b/emily-austin-52282_corn_i-asked-a-nurse-for-dental-floss-and-was_1206177.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/87b/emily-austin-52282_corn_i-asked-a-nurse-for-dental-floss-and-was_1206177.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“I asked a nurse for dental floss and was told that I am not allowed dental floss. Apparently dental floss…” — Emily Austin",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Ivy’s taken me to her parent’s house... I was originally lured into her car with the promise of a burrito. Ivy did not mention going to her parent’s house at all. She had only said, “Hop in Jane, we’re getting burritos.” Blinded by my affection for burritos, I jumped into the car like an unwitting pig on its way to a slaughterhouse.”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Emily Austin"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-austin/ivy-s-taken-me-to-her-parent-s-house-i-was-originally-lured-into-her/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b03/emily-austin-52282_burritos_ivy-s-taken-me-to-her-parent-s-house-i-w_2587045.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b03/emily-austin-52282_burritos_ivy-s-taken-me-to-her-parent-s-house-i-w_2587045.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b03/emily-austin-52282_burritos_ivy-s-taken-me-to-her-parent-s-house-i-w_2587045.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“Ivy’s taken me to her parent’s house... I was originally lured into her car with the promise of a burrito…” — Emily Austin",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“As it turns out, my acceptance of the heroin addict’s invitation to party may have been a case of poor judgement.”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Emily Austin"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-austin/as-it-turns-out-my-acceptance-of-the-heroin-addict-s-invitation-to/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b7/emily-austin-52282_addict_as-it-turns-out-my-acceptance-of-the-her_3155886.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b7/emily-austin-52282_addict_as-it-turns-out-my-acceptance-of-the-her_3155886.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b7/emily-austin-52282_addict_as-it-turns-out-my-acceptance-of-the-her_3155886.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“As it turns out, my acceptance of the heroin addict’s invitation to party may have been a case of poor…” — emily austin",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                }
            ]
        },
        {
            "@type": "CollectionPage",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humorous-quotes/emily-austin/#webpage",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humorous-quotes/emily-austin/",
            "name": "Humorous-quotes Quotes by Emily Austin",
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "mainEntity": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humorous-quotes/emily-austin/#itemlist"
            },
            "primaryImageOfPage": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5a6/emily-austin-52282_busses_the-bus-i-am-riding-on-must-be-on-its-wa_653285.jpg"
            },
            "description": "4 Humorous-quotes quotes by Emily Austin. Plus more from Emily Austin and more Humorous-quotes sayings from other authors.",
            "breadcrumb": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humorous-quotes/emily-austin/#breadcrumb"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humorous-quotes/emily-austin/#breadcrumb",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Topics",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/categories/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "Humorous Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humorous-quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 5,
                    "name": "Emily Austin",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humorous-quotes/emily-austin/"
                }
            ]
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
