--- title: "3 Humorous-quotations Quotes By Darynda Jones" description: "3 Humorous-quotations quotes by Darynda Jones. Plus more from Darynda Jones and more Humorous-quotations sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/670/darynda-jones-474_humorous-quotations_oh-hey-there-he-said-he-was-shorter-than_1651213.jpg" --- > [“Oh- hey, there," he said. He was shorter than me, pudgy with salt-and-pepper hair that always seemed to be in need of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/oh-hey-there-he-said-he-was-shorter-than-me-pudgy-with-salt-and/) [Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/670/darynda-jones-474_humorous-quotations_oh-hey-there-he-said-he-was-shorter-than_1651213.jpg) > [“if everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane(T-Shirt)”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/if-everything-is-coming-your-way-you-re-in-the-wrong-lane-t-shirt/) [Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8e5/darynda-jones-474_humorous-quotations_if-everything-is-coming-your-way-you-re_2016089.png) > [“Mr. and Mrs. Lowell are not receiving." What the hell did that mean? "I'm not throwing a forty-yard pass. I just have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/mr-and-mrs-lowell-are-not-receiving-what-the-hell-did-that-mean-i-m/) [Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8d1/darynda-jones-474_humorous-quotations_mr-and-mrs-lowell-are-not-receiving-what_2959651.png) ## More by Darynda Jones > [He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/he-bombarded-me-with-words-of-all-things-apparently-clueless-to-the/) [Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/) > [I have three words for you," EMT Guy said. "Possible internal bleeding." I turned back to him. "Don't you think if I was bleeding…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/i-have-three-words-for-you-emt-guy-said-possible-internal-bleeding-i/) [Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/) > [See you in a few. Hold down the fort, Mr. Wong!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/see-you-in-a-few-hold-down-the-fort-mr-wong/) [Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/) > [When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/when-fighting-clowns-always-go-for-the-juggler/) [Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/) > [God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/god-i-loved-sammy-i-d-considered-marrying-him-but-his-wife-got-upset/) [Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/) > [“Oh, my god, I don't know. What do you want?" "You," he said, his voice lowering an octave. "I want you, Dutch, body and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/oh-my-god-i-don-t-know-what-do-you-want-you-he-said-his-voice/) [Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/) > [“Las mujeres que se portan bien no suelen hacer historia.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/las-mujeres-que-se-portan-bien-no-suelen-hacer-historia/) [Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/) > [“If ever there was a time to carry a flashlight, it would definitely be at night.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/if-ever-there-was-a-time-to-carry-a-flashlight-it-would-definitely-be/) [Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/) > [In three hundred feet, turn right," Darth Vader said. The Darth Vader. I felt like we were friends now. Like I could tell him…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/in-three-hundred-feet-turn-right-darth-vader-said-the-darth-vader-i/) [Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/) > [“The asshole slipped Peggy a five-spot to bring him his burger first. Never trust a man with a penis.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/the-asshole-slipped-peggy-a-five-spot-to-bring-him-his-burger-first/) [Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/) > [“I reported to work the next morning looking like something the cat dragged in, half eaten yet somehow still alive.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/i-reported-to-work-the-next-morning-looking-like-something-the-cat/) [Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/) > [It isn’t the fall that will kill you, but the sudden stop.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/it-isn-t-the-fall-that-will-kill-you-but-the-sudden-stop/) [Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/) > [“One day, I’m going to get to the bottom of you, Charley Davidson.” I had no idea she was into anal.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/one-day-i-m-going-to-get-to-the-bottom-of-you-charley-davidson-i-had/) [Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/) > [“We should date." I laughed, curled him into my arms, and kissed the soft spot underneath his earlobe. "You're going to have to go…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/we-should-date-i-laughed-curled-him-into-my-arms-and-kissed-the-soft/) [Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/) > [“A girl, a mocha latte, and a naked dead man walk into a bar,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/a-girl-a-mocha-latte-and-a-naked-dead-man-walk-into-a-bar/) [Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humorous-quotations/darynda-jones/#itemlist", "name": "3 Humorous-quotations Quotes By Darynda Jones", "numberOfItems": 3, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Oh- hey, there,\" he said. 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