--- title: "20 Humor Quotes By Patricia Briggs" description: "20 Humor quotes by Patricia Briggs. Plus more from Patricia Briggs and more Humor sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f3f/patricia-briggs-571_holy_jumping-jehoshaphat-o-holy-night-3091422_3091422.png" --- > [“Jumping Jehoshaphat. O Holy Night.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/jumping-jehoshaphat-o-holy-night/) [Patricia Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-briggs/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f3f/patricia-briggs-571_holy_jumping-jehoshaphat-o-holy-night-3091422_3091422.png) > [“Women are sneaky.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/women-are-sneaky/) [Patricia Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-briggs/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1d3/patricia-briggs-571_feminism_women-are-sneaky-744030_744030.png) > [I don't like it when I outweigh my men.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/i-don-t-like-it-when-i-outweigh-my-men/) [Patricia Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-briggs/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/403/patricia-briggs-571_humor_i-don-t-like-it-when-i-outweigh-my-men-2_2557484.png) > [“My French friend tells me that someday, if I work at it, I may no longer be flattering myself when I say…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/my-french-friend-tells-me-that-someday-if-i-work-at-it-i-may-no/) [Patricia Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-briggs/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c09/patricia-briggs-571_french_my-french-friend-tells-me-that-someday-i_424838.png) > [“I borrowed a hammer and the garage and disposed of both phones. I was pretty sure that I could have just pulled…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/i-borrowed-a-hammer-and-the-garage-and-disposed-of-both-phones-i-was/) [Patricia Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-briggs/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/87f/patricia-briggs-571_frost-burned_i-borrowed-a-hammer-and-the-garage-and-d_1752135.jpg) > [“Into the breach, then. Against mobs of middle-aged moms and frightening harridans we shall prevail.” She nodded sharply, raising an invisible sword.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/into-the-breach-then-against-mobs-of-middle-aged-moms-and-frightening/) [Patricia Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-briggs/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f18/patricia-briggs-571_black-friday_into-the-breach-then-against-mobs-of-mid_2866476.png) > [“Your ability to survive anything that gets thrown at you sometimes leaves the rest of us swallowing ulcer medication for days afterward.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/your-ability-to-survive-anything-that-gets-thrown-at-you-sometimes/) [Patricia Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-briggs/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be4/patricia-briggs-571_humor_your-ability-to-survive-anything-that-ge_1106741.png) > [“She hit us,” the woman shrieked. That was the gist of it anyway. There were a lot of unladylike words that began…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/she-hit-us-the-woman-shrieked-that-was-the-gist-of-it-anyway-there/) [Patricia Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-briggs/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee1/patricia-briggs-571_frost-burned_she-hit-us-the-woman-shrieked-that-was-t_59470.png) > [“He knows about sacrificing himself for the good of the whole.That's what soldiers do.It's not the torture he can't forgive me for.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/he-knows-about-sacrificing-himself-for-the-good-of-the-whole-that-s/) [Patricia Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-briggs/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1fb/patricia-briggs-571_humor_he-knows-about-sacrificing-himself-for-t_2476659.jpg) > [ “\[C\]hildren were a much more difficult audience than adults because no on had yet had a chance to teach them that it… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/c-hildren-were-a-much-more-difficult-audience-than-adults-because-no/) [Patricia Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-briggs/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/565/patricia-briggs-571_children_c-hildren-were-a-much-more-difficult-aud_2607186.png) > [“No, really," I said. "Now that we know that Flores is really this nasty, fiery, superpowerful nothing-can-kill-me demon from hell, maybe we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/no-really-i-said-now-that-we-know-that-flores-is-really-this-nasty/) [Patricia Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-briggs/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/63b/patricia-briggs-571_demon_no-really-i-said-now-that-we-know-that-f_1490966.png) > [“There was something about that man when he was all angry and dangerous that got my blood up. Sometimes my survival instincts…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/there-was-something-about-that-man-when-he-was-all-angry-and/) [Patricia Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-briggs/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e8/patricia-briggs-571_angry_there-was-something-about-that-man-when_2049092.png) > [“Hey, Zee,” I said. “I take it that you can fix it, but it’ll be miserable, and you’d rather haul it to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/hey-zee-i-said-i-take-it-that-you-can-fix-it-but-it-ll-be-miserable/) [Patricia Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-briggs/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aa0/patricia-briggs-571_cars_hey-zee-i-said-i-take-it-that-you-can-fi_2794986.png) > [“There was a movement to my right, and I snuck a quick glance to see Zee and Gabriel coming out the garage…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/there-was-a-movement-to-my-right-and-i-snuck-a-quick-glance-to-see/) [Patricia Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-briggs/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e22/patricia-briggs-571_another-man_there-was-a-movement-to-my-right-and-i-s_2155371.png) > [“They staggered and stumbled, wounded but triumphant, singing the old Welsh folk song “Ar Lan y Môr.” And if there was something…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/they-staggered-and-stumbled-wounded-but-triumphant-singing-the-old/) [Patricia Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-briggs/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fda/patricia-briggs-571_alpha-and-omega_they-staggered-and-stumbled-wounded-but_1764126.png) > [“One of my professors once told me that the last official act of the British monarchy was when Queen Victoria refused to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/one-of-my-professors-once-told-me-that-the-last-official-act-of-the/) [Patricia Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-briggs/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7bc/patricia-briggs-571_british-monarchy_one-of-my-professors-once-told-me-that-t_2108656.jpg) > [“Kyle took in a breath. “While you were doing freaky stuff with Adam—as fine as he is—did you figure out where he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/kyle-took-in-a-breath-while-you-were-doing-freaky-stuff-with-adam-as/) [Patricia Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-briggs/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f9b/patricia-briggs-571_adam-hauptman_kyle-took-in-a-breath-while-you-were-doi_175156.png) > [“Anna gave Charles a shy kiss on the cheek and strolled out of the room without a backward glance. Until she reached…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/anna-gave-charles-a-shy-kiss-on-the-cheek-and-strolled-out-of-the/) [Patricia Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-briggs/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e66/patricia-briggs-571_anna_anna-gave-charles-a-shy-kiss-on-the-chee_2808330.png) > [“I am so glad Todd and I eloped,” she said sincerely. “There was no way to salvage the wreckage. But I think…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/i-am-so-glad-todd-and-i-eloped-she-said-sincerely-there-was-no-way-to/) [Patricia Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-briggs/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c78/patricia-briggs-571_chopped-liver_i-am-so-glad-todd-and-i-eloped-she-said_765000.jpg) > [“Kelly looked at the cop, then sighed. “What a cluster. I take it you haven’t been killing young women and leaving their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/kelly-looked-at-the-cop-then-sighed-what-a-cluster-i-take-it-you/) [Patricia Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-briggs/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dc5/patricia-briggs-571_adam-hauptman_kelly-looked-at-the-cop-then-sighed-what_1337303.jpg) ## Other authors on Humor - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b018/author-mitch-hedberg-68629.jpg) Mitch Hedberg 251 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/mitch-hedberg/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b010/author-george-w-bush-38036.jpg) George W. Bush 220 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/george-w-bush/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b022/author-steven-wright-87563.jpg) Steven Wright 203 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/steven-wright/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b023/author-terry-pratchett-89528.jpg) Terry Pratchett 181 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/terry-pratchett/) - [Mokokoma Mokhonoana 161 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/mokokoma-mokhonoana/) - [Art Hochberg 156 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/art-hochberg/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b020/author-rick-riordan-79077.jpg) Rick Riordan 123 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/rick-riordan/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b013/author-jerry-coleman-49066.jpg) Jerry Coleman 116 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/jerry-coleman/) - [Mark Twain 112 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/mark-twain/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b010/author-george-carlin-37578.jpg) George Carlin 102 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/george-carlin/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b006/author-cassandra-clare-21529.jpg) Cassandra Clare 100 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/cassandra-clare/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b021/author-rodney-dangerfield-80610.jpg) Rodney Dangerfield 96 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/rodney-dangerfield/) ## More by Patricia Briggs > [“His favorite saying was, 'Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum europe vincendarum." "'Sometimes I have the urge to conquer large parts of Europe'?" Boyd said,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/his-favorite-saying-was-interdum-feror-cupidine-partium-magnarum/) [Patricia Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-briggs/) > [“I break things, a lot of things, but I don’t want one of them to be you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/i-break-things-a-lot-of-things-but-i-don-t-want-one-of-them-to-be-you/) [Patricia Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-briggs/) > [He was obviously dead. But since he was a vampire that wasn't as hopless a thing as it might have been.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/he-was-obviously-dead-but-since-he-was-a-vampire-that-wasn-t-as/) [Patricia Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-briggs/) > [Stefan: "Indian with a dot, not a feather.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/stefan-indian-with-a-dot-not-a-feather/) [Patricia Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-briggs/) > [“want to. Adam wasn’t angry. He wouldn’t hurt me. I let him pull the power of his pack over me like a warm”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/want-to-adam-wasn-t-angry-he-wouldn-t-hurt-me-i-let-him-pull-the/) [Patricia Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-briggs/) > [“I promise I won't spank you," he told me, his voice rough and low as he added, "not unless you ask me to." I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/i-promise-i-won-t-spank-you-he-told-me-his-voice-rough-and-low-as-he/) [Patricia Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-briggs/) > [Love is not necessary for sex.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/love-is-not-necessary-for-sex/) [Patricia Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-briggs/) > [“I paused to pat the truck’s hood gently in apology when someone put his hand on my shoulder. I grabbed the hand and rotated…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/i-paused-to-pat-the-truck-s-hood-gently-in-apology-when-someone-put/) [Patricia Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-briggs/) > [In this dream, I wasn’t a coyote shapeshifter trying to hold a werewolf, I was Coyote’s almost daughter, and I had all the strength…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/in-this-dream-i-wasn-t-a-coyote-shapeshifter-trying-to-hold-a/) [Patricia Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-briggs/) > [“She hit us,” the woman shrieked. That was the gist of it anyway. There were a lot of unladylike words that began with “F,”…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/she-hit-us-the-woman-shrieked-that-was-the-gist-of-it-anyway-there/) [Patricia Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-briggs/) > [Charles was most comfortable by himself or, if that wasn't possible, with his pack in the wild. Talking for hours in a crowded auditorium…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/charles-was-most-comfortable-by-himself-or-if-that-wasn-t-possible/) [Patricia Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-briggs/) > [Evil must always be fought.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/evil-must-always-be-fought/) [Patricia Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-briggs/) > [“Beauclaire, for his part, sank back in the soft material of the couch as if the thought that it would impede him should he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/beauclaire-for-his-part-sank-back-in-the-soft-material-of-the-couch/) [Patricia Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-briggs/) > [What do you mean?” Leslie’s voice was cool, as if she questioned witches who were flat on their backs being threatened by werewolves every…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/what-do-you-mean-leslie-s-voice-was-cool-as-if-she-questioned-witches/) [Patricia Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-briggs/) > [I am not attempting to preserve culture, or record actual events or stories. Instead I bow my head in gratitude to those storytellers who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/i-am-not-attempting-to-preserve-culture-or-record-actual-events-or/) [Patricia Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-briggs/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/patricia-briggs/#itemlist", "name": "20 Humor Quotes By Patricia Briggs", "numberOfItems": 20, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Jumping Jehoshaphat. O Holy Night.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Patricia Briggs" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/jumping-jehoshaphat-o-holy-night/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f3f/patricia-briggs-571_holy_jumping-jehoshaphat-o-holy-night-3091422_3091422.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f3f/patricia-briggs-571_holy_jumping-jehoshaphat-o-holy-night-3091422_3091422.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f3f/patricia-briggs-571_holy_jumping-jehoshaphat-o-holy-night-3091422_3091422.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Jumping Jehoshaphat. 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I was pretty sure that I could have just pulled the batteries, but pretty sure wasn’t good enough, so I used a hammer.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Patricia Briggs" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/i-borrowed-a-hammer-and-the-garage-and-disposed-of-both-phones-i-was/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/87f/patricia-briggs-571_frost-burned_i-borrowed-a-hammer-and-the-garage-and-d_1752135.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/87f/patricia-briggs-571_frost-burned_i-borrowed-a-hammer-and-the-garage-and-d_1752135.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/87f/patricia-briggs-571_frost-burned_i-borrowed-a-hammer-and-the-garage-and-d_1752135.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I borrowed a hammer and the garage and disposed of both phones. I was pretty sure that I could have just…” — Patricia Briggs", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 6, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Into the breach, then. Against mobs of middle-aged moms and frightening harridans we shall prevail.” She nodded sharply, raising an invisible sword. “And damned be he—she—who cries, ‘Hold, enough!’” “Misquote Shakespeare in front of Samuel, I dare you,” I told her, and she laughed.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Patricia Briggs" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/into-the-breach-then-against-mobs-of-middle-aged-moms-and-frightening/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f18/patricia-briggs-571_black-friday_into-the-breach-then-against-mobs-of-mid_2866476.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f18/patricia-briggs-571_black-friday_into-the-breach-then-against-mobs-of-mid_2866476.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f18/patricia-briggs-571_black-friday_into-the-breach-then-against-mobs-of-mid_2866476.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Into the breach, then. Against mobs of middle-aged moms and frightening harridans we shall prevail.” She…” — Patricia Briggs", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Your ability to survive anything that gets thrown at you sometimes leaves the rest of us swallowing ulcer medication for days afterward. I don't like the taste of Maalox.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Patricia Briggs" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/your-ability-to-survive-anything-that-gets-thrown-at-you-sometimes/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be4/patricia-briggs-571_humor_your-ability-to-survive-anything-that-ge_1106741.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be4/patricia-briggs-571_humor_your-ability-to-survive-anything-that-ge_1106741.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be4/patricia-briggs-571_humor_your-ability-to-survive-anything-that-ge_1106741.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Your ability to survive anything that gets thrown at you sometimes leaves the rest of us swallowing ulcer…” — Patricia Briggs", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“She hit us,” the woman shrieked. That was the gist of it anyway. There were a lot of unladylike words that began with “F,” with various “C” words thrown in for leavening. … “Ben’s better,” I murmured. “He’s more creative when he swears.” “He does it in that English accent, which is too cool.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Patricia Briggs" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/she-hit-us-the-woman-shrieked-that-was-the-gist-of-it-anyway-there/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee1/patricia-briggs-571_frost-burned_she-hit-us-the-woman-shrieked-that-was-t_59470.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee1/patricia-briggs-571_frost-burned_she-hit-us-the-woman-shrieked-that-was-t_59470.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee1/patricia-briggs-571_frost-burned_she-hit-us-the-woman-shrieked-that-was-t_59470.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“She hit us,” the woman shrieked. That was the gist of it anyway. There were a lot of unladylike words that…” — Patricia Briggs", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“He knows about sacrificing himself for the good of the whole.That's what soldiers do.It's not the torture he can't forgive me for. Nor deceiving him about his people. It's because I put you in harm's way he is so angry\" Then she said, very calmly, \"If I could kill you, I would\" - Mrsilia”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Patricia Briggs" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/he-knows-about-sacrificing-himself-for-the-good-of-the-whole-that-s/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1fb/patricia-briggs-571_humor_he-knows-about-sacrificing-himself-for-t_2476659.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1fb/patricia-briggs-571_humor_he-knows-about-sacrificing-himself-for-t_2476659.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1fb/patricia-briggs-571_humor_he-knows-about-sacrificing-himself-for-t_2476659.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“He knows about sacrificing himself for the good of the whole.That's what soldiers do.It's not the torture he…” — Patricia Briggs", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“[C]hildren were a much more difficult audience than adults because no on had yet had a chance to teach them that it was better to be polite than honest.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Patricia Briggs" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/c-hildren-were-a-much-more-difficult-audience-than-adults-because-no/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/565/patricia-briggs-571_children_c-hildren-were-a-much-more-difficult-aud_2607186.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/565/patricia-briggs-571_children_c-hildren-were-a-much-more-difficult-aud_2607186.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/565/patricia-briggs-571_children_c-hildren-were-a-much-more-difficult-aud_2607186.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“[C]hildren were a much more difficult audience than adults because no on had yet had a chance to teach them…” — Patricia Briggs", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“No, really,\" I said. \"Now that we know that Flores is really this nasty, fiery, superpowerful nothing-can-kill-me demon from hell, maybe we should consider just giving Christy to him?”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Patricia Briggs" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/no-really-i-said-now-that-we-know-that-flores-is-really-this-nasty/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/63b/patricia-briggs-571_demon_no-really-i-said-now-that-we-know-that-f_1490966.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/63b/patricia-briggs-571_demon_no-really-i-said-now-that-we-know-that-f_1490966.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/63b/patricia-briggs-571_demon_no-really-i-said-now-that-we-know-that-f_1490966.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“No, really,\" I said. \"Now that we know that Flores is really this nasty, fiery, superpowerful…” — Patricia Briggs", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“There was something about that man when he was all angry and dangerous that got my blood up. Sometimes my survival instincts are not what they should be.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Patricia Briggs" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/there-was-something-about-that-man-when-he-was-all-angry-and/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e8/patricia-briggs-571_angry_there-was-something-about-that-man-when_2049092.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e8/patricia-briggs-571_angry_there-was-something-about-that-man-when_2049092.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e8/patricia-briggs-571_angry_there-was-something-about-that-man-when_2049092.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“There was something about that man when he was all angry and dangerous that got my blood up. Sometimes my…” — Patricia Briggs", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 13, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Hey, Zee,” I said. “I take it that you can fix it, but it’ll be miserable, and you’d rather haul it to the dump and start from scratch.” “Piece of junk,” groused Zee. “What’s not rusted to pieces is bent. If you took all the good parts and put them in a pile, you could carry them out in your pocket.” There was a little pause. “Even if you only had a small pocket.” I patted the car. “Don’t you listen to him,” I whispered to it. “You’ll be out of here and back on the road in no time.” Zee propelled himself all the way under the car so his head stuck out by my feet. “Don’t you promise something you can’t deliver,” he snarled. I raised my eyebrows, and said in dulcet tones, “Are you telling me you can’t fix it? I’m sorry. I distinctly remember you saying that there is nothing you can’t fix. I must have been mistaken, and it was someone else wearing your mouth.” He gave a growl that would have done Sam credit, and pushed himself back under again, muttering,“Deine Mutter war ein Cola-Automat!” “Her mama might have been a pop machine,” I said, responding to one of the remarks I understood even at full Zee-speed. “Your mama . . .” sounds the same in a number of languages. “But she was a beauty in her day.” I grinned at Gabriel. “We women have to stick together.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Patricia Briggs" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/hey-zee-i-said-i-take-it-that-you-can-fix-it-but-it-ll-be-miserable/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aa0/patricia-briggs-571_cars_hey-zee-i-said-i-take-it-that-you-can-fi_2794986.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aa0/patricia-briggs-571_cars_hey-zee-i-said-i-take-it-that-you-can-fi_2794986.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aa0/patricia-briggs-571_cars_hey-zee-i-said-i-take-it-that-you-can-fi_2794986.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Hey, Zee,” I said. “I take it that you can fix it, but it’ll be miserable, and you’d rather haul it to the…” — Patricia Briggs", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 14, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“There was a movement to my right, and I snuck a quick glance to see Zee and Gabriel coming out the garage door. They must have gone back around. Zee had a crowbar in one hand and held it like another man might hold a sword. Gabriel had— “Zee,” I squeaked. “Tell him to put the torque wrench back and grab something that won’t cost me five hundred dollars if he hits someone with it.” “Won’t cost five hundred,” said Zee, but as I glanced over again, he nodded at the white-faced Gabriel, who looked at what he held as if he’d never seen it before. The boy slipped back into the garage as Zee said, “It wouldn’t break it — you’d just have to get it recalibrated.” “We have a whole garage worth of tools — pry bars, tire irons, and even a hammer or two. There’s got to be something better than my torque wrench he could have grabbed.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Patricia Briggs" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/there-was-a-movement-to-my-right-and-i-snuck-a-quick-glance-to-see/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e22/patricia-briggs-571_another-man_there-was-a-movement-to-my-right-and-i-s_2155371.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e22/patricia-briggs-571_another-man_there-was-a-movement-to-my-right-and-i-s_2155371.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e22/patricia-briggs-571_another-man_there-was-a-movement-to-my-right-and-i-s_2155371.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“There was a movement to my right, and I snuck a quick glance to see Zee and Gabriel coming out the garage…” — Patricia Briggs", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 15, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“They staggered and stumbled, wounded but triumphant, singing the old Welsh folk song “Ar Lan y Môr.” And if there was something odd about returning from battle singing about lilies, rosemary, rocks, and—for some reason he’d never fathomed—eggs, of all things, by the sea, well, then the three of them made it sound pretty good and only he and Beauclaire knew Welsh.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Patricia Briggs" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/they-staggered-and-stumbled-wounded-but-triumphant-singing-the-old/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fda/patricia-briggs-571_alpha-and-omega_they-staggered-and-stumbled-wounded-but_1764126.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fda/patricia-briggs-571_alpha-and-omega_they-staggered-and-stumbled-wounded-but_1764126.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fda/patricia-briggs-571_alpha-and-omega_they-staggered-and-stumbled-wounded-but_1764126.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“They staggered and stumbled, wounded but triumphant, singing the old Welsh folk song “Ar Lan y Môr.” And if…” — Patricia Briggs", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 16, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“One of my professors once told me that the last official act of the British monarchy was when Queen Victoria refused to sign a law that made same-sex acts illegal. It would have made me think more highly of her, except the reason she objected was because she didn’t believe women would do anything like that. Parliament rewrote the law so it was specific to men, and she signed it. A tribute to enlightenment, Queen Victoria was not. Neither, as I have observed before, are werewolf packs. ”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Patricia Briggs" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/one-of-my-professors-once-told-me-that-the-last-official-act-of-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7bc/patricia-briggs-571_british-monarchy_one-of-my-professors-once-told-me-that-t_2108656.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7bc/patricia-briggs-571_british-monarchy_one-of-my-professors-once-told-me-that-t_2108656.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7bc/patricia-briggs-571_british-monarchy_one-of-my-professors-once-told-me-that-t_2108656.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“One of my professors once told me that the last official act of the British monarchy was when Queen Victoria…” — Patricia Briggs", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 17, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Kyle took in a breath. “While you were doing freaky stuff with Adam—as fine as he is—did you figure out where he is?” I shook my head, and he sighed. “That’s good.” I raised my eyebrow. He grinned, tiredly. “That would have been useful, Mercy. And having something freaky and useful would have been too good and sent the spirits of evil gods on our tail.” I stared at him.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Patricia Briggs" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/kyle-took-in-a-breath-while-you-were-doing-freaky-stuff-with-adam-as/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f9b/patricia-briggs-571_adam-hauptman_kyle-took-in-a-breath-while-you-were-doi_175156.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f9b/patricia-briggs-571_adam-hauptman_kyle-took-in-a-breath-while-you-were-doi_175156.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f9b/patricia-briggs-571_adam-hauptman_kyle-took-in-a-breath-while-you-were-doi_175156.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Kyle took in a breath. “While you were doing freaky stuff with Adam—as fine as he is—did you figure out…” — Patricia Briggs", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 18, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Anna gave Charles a shy kiss on the cheek and strolled out of the room without a backward glance. Until she reached the doorway, and then, in full view of the curious who'd had the courage or discourtesy to linger in the auditorium after he'd dismissed them, she kissed her palm and blew it to him. And despite... or because of their audience, he caught it in one hand, and pulled the hand to his heart. Her smile dropped away, and the expression in her eyes would feed him for a week. And the expressions on the faces of the wolves who knew Charles, or knew his reputation, would make him laugh as soon as no one was watching.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Patricia Briggs" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/anna-gave-charles-a-shy-kiss-on-the-cheek-and-strolled-out-of-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e66/patricia-briggs-571_anna_anna-gave-charles-a-shy-kiss-on-the-chee_2808330.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e66/patricia-briggs-571_anna_anna-gave-charles-a-shy-kiss-on-the-chee_2808330.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e66/patricia-briggs-571_anna_anna-gave-charles-a-shy-kiss-on-the-chee_2808330.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Anna gave Charles a shy kiss on the cheek and strolled out of the room without a backward glance. Until she…” — Patricia Briggs", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 19, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I am so glad Todd and I eloped,” she said sincerely. “There was no way to salvage the wreckage. But I think that you deserved this, and I'm very happy for you.” She leaned forward and kissed my cheek. Then she whispered, “He is really, really a hottie. How did you mange that?” “Brat,” I told her, and gave her a hug. “Todd’s not exactly chopped liver.” She smiled smugly and took another sip. “No he’s not.” “He could be,” said Ben from behind me, his British accent giving him a civilized air that he didn’t deserve. “Do you want him to be chopped liver, darling?” I turned, making sure I was between Ben and Nan, “My sisters are off-limits,” I reminded him. A flash of hurt came and went on his face. With Ben, it was even odds whether the emotion was genuine or not -but my instincts told me they had been. So I continued in a mock-chiding tone, “Ruthie is too young for you, and Nan is married to a very nice man. So be good.” Nan had caught the flash of hurt, too, I thought. She was softer than our mother, more like her father in temperament as well as looks. She couldn’t stand to have anyone hurting and not do anything about it. She sighed dramatically. “All the pretty men, and I’m tied to just one.” Ben smiled at her. “Anytime you want to change that…” I poked him in the side-he could have slipped out of the way, but he didn’t bother. “Okay,” he said, backing away with exaggerated fear. “Ill be good, I promise. Just don’t hurt me again.” He was loud enough that all the people around us looked at us. Adam pushed his way through the pack and ruffled Ben’s hair as he went by him. “Behave Ben.” The Ben I’d first met would have snarled and pulled away from the affectionate scold. This one grinned at me, and said, “Not if I can help it, I wont,” to Adam.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Patricia Briggs" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/i-am-so-glad-todd-and-i-eloped-she-said-sincerely-there-was-no-way-to/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c78/patricia-briggs-571_chopped-liver_i-am-so-glad-todd-and-i-eloped-she-said_765000.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c78/patricia-briggs-571_chopped-liver_i-am-so-glad-todd-and-i-eloped-she-said_765000.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c78/patricia-briggs-571_chopped-liver_i-am-so-glad-todd-and-i-eloped-she-said_765000.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I am so glad Todd and I eloped,” she said sincerely. “There was no way to salvage the wreckage. But I think…” — Patricia Briggs", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 20, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Kelly looked at the cop, then sighed. “What a cluster. I take it you haven’t been killing young women and leaving their half-eaten bodies in the desert?” Adam was ticked. I could tell it even if he was looking like a reasonably calm businessman. Adam’s temper was the reason he wasn’t one of Bran’s werewolf poster boys. When angered, he often gave in to impulses he wouldn’t otherwise have given in to. “Sorry to disappoint you,” Adam told Kelly in silky tones. “But I prefer rabbits. Humans taste like pork.” And then he smiled. Kelly took an involuntary step backward. Tony gave Adam a sharp look. “Let’s not make things worse, if we can help it, gentlemen.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Patricia Briggs" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-briggs/kelly-looked-at-the-cop-then-sighed-what-a-cluster-i-take-it-you/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dc5/patricia-briggs-571_adam-hauptman_kelly-looked-at-the-cop-then-sighed-what_1337303.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dc5/patricia-briggs-571_adam-hauptman_kelly-looked-at-the-cop-then-sighed-what_1337303.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dc5/patricia-briggs-571_adam-hauptman_kelly-looked-at-the-cop-then-sighed-what_1337303.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Kelly looked at the cop, then sighed. “What a cluster. I take it you haven’t been killing young women and…” — Patricia Briggs", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/patricia-briggs/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/patricia-briggs/", "name": "Humor Quotes by Patricia Briggs", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/patricia-briggs/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f3f/patricia-briggs-571_holy_jumping-jehoshaphat-o-holy-night-3091422_3091422.png" }, "description": "20 Humor quotes by Patricia Briggs. Plus more from Patricia Briggs and more Humor sayings from other authors.", "breadcrumb": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/patricia-briggs/#breadcrumb" } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/patricia-briggs/#breadcrumb", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Topics", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/categories/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "Humor", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 5, "name": "Patricia Briggs", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/patricia-briggs/" } ] }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```