---
title: "29 Humor Quotes By Jill Shalvis"
description: "29 Humor quotes by Jill Shalvis. Plus more from Jill Shalvis and more Humor sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bb5/jill-shalvis-838_bitch_karma-was-a-bitch-with-a-good-sense-of-h_2154903.png"
---

> [“Karma was a bitch with a good sense of humor.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/karma-was-a-bitch-with-a-good-sense-of-humor/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bb5/jill-shalvis-838_bitch_karma-was-a-bitch-with-a-good-sense-of-h_2154903.png)

> [“Didn’t see you coming, Kylie.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/didn-t-see-you-coming-kylie/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/779/jill-shalvis-838_coming_didn-t-see-you-coming-kylie-3055032_3055032.png)

> [“I made a tactical error tonight with Wyatt." She paused "Horizontally." Sara laughed. "Again?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/i-made-a-tactical-error-tonight-with-wyatt-she-paused-horizontally/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eb3/jill-shalvis-838_funny-humor_i-made-a-tactical-error-tonight-with-wya_2052222.png)

> [A conclusion is the place you get to when you’re tired of thinking.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/a-conclusion-is-the-place-you-get-to-when-you-re-tired-of-thinking/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c22/jill-shalvis-838_conclusion_a-conclusion-is-the-place-you-get-to-whe_353439.png)

> [“You're so pretty, Joe. It's really a shame that you're such a dumbass.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/you-re-so-pretty-joe-it-s-really-a-shame-that-you-re-such-a-dumbass/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d09/jill-shalvis-838_dumbass_you-re-so-pretty-joe-it-s-really-a-shame_2068913.png)

> [“on a scale of mental breakdowns from Justin Bieber to Britney Spears, I think I’m about a Shia LaBeouf.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/on-a-scale-of-mental-breakdowns-from-justin-bieber-to-britney-spears/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2eb/jill-shalvis-838_britney-spears_on-a-scale-of-mental-breakdowns-from-jus_1208486.png)

> [“The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe. Eat muffins.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/the-more-you-weigh-the-harder-you-are-to-kidnap-stay-safe-eat-muffins/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/799/jill-shalvis-838_food_the-more-you-weigh-the-harder-you-are-to_597032.png)

> [“I'd tell him to go to hell, but it just so happens I'm stuck there and don't want to have to see…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/i-d-tell-him-to-go-to-hell-but-it-just-so-happens-i-m-stuck-there-and/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/693/jill-shalvis-838_every-day_i-d-tell-him-to-go-to-hell-but-it-just-s_152629.png)

> [“I don't want to dig him or his sexy self. But I keep losing my clothes when I'm with him.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/i-don-t-want-to-dig-him-or-his-sexy-self-but-i-keep-losing-my-clothes/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/510/jill-shalvis-838_funny-humor_i-don-t-want-to-dig-him-or-his-sexy-self_1070671.png)

> [“Experience is what you get when you didn’t know what you wanted.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/experience-is-what-you-get-when-you-didn-t-know-what-you-wanted/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/226/jill-shalvis-838_experience_experience-is-what-you-get-when-you-didn_2049756.png)

> [“Kylie, the fashion outcast, was in jeans, a Golden State Warriors sweatshirt, and some residual wood shavings. The fact that she had…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/kylie-the-fashion-outcast-was-in-jeans-a-golden-state-warriors/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/829/jill-shalvis-838_fashion_kylie-the-fashion-outcast-was-in-jeans-a_2856688.jpg)

> [“There's a big difference between want and need," she muttered to herself, picking her pad and pen back up. "I mean I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/there-s-a-big-difference-between-want-and-need-she-muttered-to/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/705/jill-shalvis-838_comedy_there-s-a-big-difference-between-want-an_1851599.png)

> [“Calories," Emily said on a sigh. "The evil tiny creatures that live in my closet and sew my clothes a little tighter…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/calories-emily-said-on-a-sigh-the-evil-tiny-creatures-that-live-in-my/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ac6/jill-shalvis-838_every-night_calories-emily-said-on-a-sigh-the-evil-t_1276117.png)

> [“Ben was in his truck, window down, idling at the curb, dark lenses hiding his eyes from her, looking effortlessly big and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/ben-was-in-his-truck-window-down-idling-at-the-curb-dark-lenses/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc2/jill-shalvis-838_alpha_ben-was-in-his-truck-window-down-idling_1552315.png)

> [“How long do we wait?” “Long as it takes,” he said distractedly because she was sucking the salt off her thumb. Then…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/how-long-do-we-wait-long-as-it-takes-he-said-distractedly-because-she/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/093/jill-shalvis-838_humor_how-long-do-we-wait-long-as-it-takes-he_441046.png)

> [“I've given up men. It's true. At first, I was just going to give up attorneys, but that seemed immature - and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/i-ve-given-up-men-it-s-true-at-first-i-was-just-going-to-give-up/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e5c/jill-shalvis-838_humor_i-ve-given-up-men-it-s-true-at-first-i-w_47764.png)

> [“Are we going to be stupid?” she whispered. “Define stupid.” “Anything that involves either one of us exposing our favorite body parts.”…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/are-we-going-to-be-stupid-she-whispered-define-stupid-anything-that/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fe9/jill-shalvis-838_contemporary-romance_are-we-going-to-be-stupid-she-whispered_993640.png)

> [“You know what you are, Sam Brody?" she whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck. "A big, fat tease." They both knew…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/you-know-what-you-are-sam-brody-she-whispered-wrapping-her-arms/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/da4/jill-shalvis-838_funny_you-know-what-you-are-sam-brody-she-whis_886476.png)

> [“She was an irresistible dichotomy of sweet charm and heart-stopping sexy, and she threw him off guard with every look, be it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/she-was-an-irresistible-dichotomy-of-sweet-charm-and-heart-stopping/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/168/jill-shalvis-838_humor_she-was-an-irresistible-dichotomy-of-swe_1547633.jpg)

> [“She had no idea how long they kissed—and kissed—but she didn’t think about stopping until she ran out of air. Breathing hard,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/she-had-no-idea-how-long-they-kissed-and-kissed-but-she-didn-t-think/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/28b/jill-shalvis-838_alpha-hero_she-had-no-idea-how-long-they-kissed-and_2096444.png)

> [“She closed her eyes. “Okay, here’s the thing. We have some chemistry,” she allowed. “Some? Or supernova?” “Supernova. But,” she said to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/she-closed-her-eyes-okay-here-s-the-thing-we-have-some-chemistry-she/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a7/jill-shalvis-838_humor_she-closed-her-eyes-okay-here-s-the-thin_2838421.jpg)

> [“I don’t want to talk about it,” she said. Once again he was close. Too close. So damn close. “At all,” she…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/i-don-t-want-to-talk-about-it-she-said-once-again-he-was-close-too-2/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6a7/jill-shalvis-838_alpha_i-don-t-want-to-talk-about-it-she-said-o_1824402.png)

> [“I’ve given up men.” At that, he arched a brow. Be strong. Be confident. Be… Neytiri from Avatar. Okay, so Neytiri was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/i-ve-given-up-men-at-that-he-arched-a-brow-be-strong-be-confident-be/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/668/jill-shalvis-838_humor_i-ve-given-up-men-at-that-he-arched-a-br_596103.jpg)

> [“Look,” she said, “apparently you bring out my inner slut. I’m not going to thank you for that.” Wyatt smiled that sexy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/look-she-said-apparently-you-bring-out-my-inner-slut-i-m-not-going-to/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5cc/jill-shalvis-838_funny_look-she-said-apparently-you-bring-out-m_1984611.png)

> [“I don’t want to talk about it,” she said. Once again he was close. Too close. So damn close. “At all,” she…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/i-don-t-want-to-talk-about-it-she-said-once-again-he-was-close-too/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/992/jill-shalvis-838_alpha-hero_i-don-t-want-to-talk-about-it-she-said-o_876572.jpg)

> [“She squirmed in her seat, and again he met her gaze. At whatever he found in her expression, a full-blown smile lit…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/she-squirmed-in-her-seat-and-again-he-met-her-gaze-at-whatever-he/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a70/jill-shalvis-838_humor_she-squirmed-in-her-seat-and-again-he-me_456649.png)

> [“Let me Guess-you lost the coin toss with Dell, which left you stuck with me. Only you don't know how to tell…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/let-me-guess-you-lost-the-coin-toss-with-dell-which-left-you-stuck/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/758/jill-shalvis-838_dell_let-me-guess-you-lost-the-coin-toss-with_982593.png)

> [“On the best of days, he made her feel things she liked to shove deep, deep down, because going there with him…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/on-the-best-of-days-he-made-her-feel-things-she-liked-to-shove-deep/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7b8/jill-shalvis-838_adventure_on-the-best-of-days-he-made-her-feel-thi_475739.jpg)

> [“It wasn’t entirely his fault that he was so emotionally challenged, she thought, putting a hand on his jaw. “You’re so pretty,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/it-wasn-t-entirely-his-fault-that-he-was-so-emotionally-challenged/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/523/jill-shalvis-838_dumbass_it-wasn-t-entirely-his-fault-that-he-was_3154033.jpg)

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## More by Jill Shalvis

> [“But dammit, she was tired. Tired of doing what was expected, tired of feeling like she was missing something.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/but-dammit-she-was-tired-tired-of-doing-what-was-expected-tired-of/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

> [“And not that I don't love those words, but what were you wrong about?" "Walking away from you." She stepped into him. "I'm done…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/and-not-that-i-don-t-love-those-words-but-what-were-you-wrong-about/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

> [“This put her in the possession of two guns. I Love Lucy does Criminal Minds.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/this-put-her-in-the-possession-of-two-guns-i-love-lucy-does-criminal/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

> [“What is it with us?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/what-is-it-with-us/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

> [“The kiss had been shockingly... wow. Which had led to one thing or another, and some more wow, along with a good dash of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/the-kiss-had-been-shockingly-wow-which-had-led-to-one-thing-or/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

> [“I've given up men. It's true. At first, I was just going to give up attorneys, but that seemed immature - and far too…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/i-ve-given-up-men-it-s-true-at-first-i-was-just-going-to-give-up/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

> [Where did that flashlight come from?" Chloe asked. "My purse." Chloe looked at Tara. "She carries a flashlight in her purse." "For emergencies," Maddie…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/where-did-that-flashlight-come-from-chloe-asked-my-purse-chloe-looked/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

> [Logan, why aren't you wearing protection?" The radio crackled, and then came Logan's voice. "I have 'protection' in my bag," he said. "But as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/logan-why-aren-t-you-wearing-protection-the-radio-crackled-and-then/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

> [“So what do you think I should do for myself then?" "Whatever feels right." She stared at him for the longest beat, and then…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/so-what-do-you-think-i-should-do-for-myself-then-whatever-feels-right/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

> [“With a smug smirk, he kissed her again, then slid into her. Pleasure flooded her, so intense it arched her back and had her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/with-a-smug-smirk-he-kissed-her-again-then-slid-into-her-pleasure/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

> [“I think you have a case of being a little girl. Maybe you should prescribe yourself a heavy dose of man-the-fuck-up.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/i-think-you-have-a-case-of-being-a-little-girl-maybe-you-should/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

> [“She was like a drug. The most addicting kind, and he had a problem—he was pretty sure that she was developing feelings for him.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/she-was-like-a-drug-the-most-addicting-kind-and-he-had-a-problem-he/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

> [“Let me in.' 'Come to the door.' You always demanding like that? No wonder she isn't answering. Try asking sometime. Not all women will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/let-me-in-come-to-the-door-you-always-demanding-like-that-no-wonder/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

> [Forever this time," he said as Sawyer strode toward them. Tara sighed blissfully. "You know what this means, right?" "I'm done guessing," he said.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/forever-this-time-he-said-as-sawyer-strode-toward-them-tara-sighed/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

> [Remember, you’re unique. And so is everyone else.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/remember-you-re-unique-and-so-is-everyone-else/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

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                        "text": "“Calories,\" Emily said on a sigh. \"The evil tiny creatures that live in my closet and sew my clothes a little tighter every night.”",
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                        "text": "“Are we going to be stupid?” she whispered. “Define stupid.” “Anything that involves either one of us exposing our favorite body parts.” Or their hearts… “I want to hear about your favorite body part,” he said. “In great detail.”",
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                        "text": "“Look,” she said, “apparently you bring out my inner slut. I’m not going to thank you for that.” Wyatt smiled that sexy smile of his. “I could make you.” She pointed a finger at his nose. And then lowered it so it was pointed at another part of his anatomy entirely. “Don’t even think about it.” “Oh, I won’t,” he said silkily. “But you will.” And she knew he was right.”",
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}
```