---
title: "Best Humor Sayings by Jerry Coleman"
description: "116 Humor quotes by Jerry Coleman. Plus more from Jerry Coleman and more Humor sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e67/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_they-throw-winfield-out-at-second-but-he_885117.png"
---

> [They throw Winfield out at second, but he's safe.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/they-throw-winfield-out-at-second-but-he-s-safe/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e67/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_they-throw-winfield-out-at-second-but-he_885117.png)

> [Rick Miller hit only one home run last year, and that's like hitting none.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/rick-miller-hit-only-one-home-run-last-year-and-that-s-like-hitting/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4af/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_rick-miller-hit-only-one-home-run-last-y_1182194.png)

> [Houston has its largest crowd of the night here this evening.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/houston-has-its-largest-crowd-of-the-night-here-this-evening/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/61d/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_houston-has-its-largest-crowd-of-the-nig_3095744.png)

> [That's the fourth extra base hit for the Padres - two doubles and a triple.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/that-s-the-fourth-extra-base-hit-for-the-padres-two-doubles-and-a/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/93f/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_that-s-the-fourth-extra-base-hit-for-the_2037754.png)

> [The Padres are really swinging some hot hats tonight!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/the-padres-are-really-swinging-some-hot-hats-tonight/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/991/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_the-padres-are-really-swinging-some-hot_906997.png)

> [A day without newspapers is like walking around without your pants on.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/a-day-without-newspapers-is-like-walking-around-without-your-pants-on/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f31/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_a-day-without-newspapers-is-like-walking_3037230.png)

> [Those amateur umpires are certainly flexing their fangs tonight.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/those-amateur-umpires-are-certainly-flexing-their-fangs-tonight/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/671/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_those-amateur-umpires-are-certainly-flex_1226945.png)

> [George Hendrick simply lost that sun-blown pop-up.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/george-hendrick-simply-lost-that-sun-blown-pop-up/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bae/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_george-hendrick-simply-lost-that-sun-blo_1445567.png)

> [Well, I hope before Glenn goes, he'll come up here so we can give him a big hug and a kiss, because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/well-i-hope-before-glenn-goes-he-ll-come-up-here-so-we-can-give-him-a/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b2b/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_well-i-hope-before-glenn-goes-he-ll-come_3224601.png)

> [The Phillies beat the Cubs today in a doubleheader. That puts another keg in the Cubs' coffin.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/the-phillies-beat-the-cubs-today-in-a-doubleheader-that-puts-another/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/940/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_the-phillies-beat-the-cubs-today-in-a-do_1171836.png)

> [The last time Pena faced the Padres, the Dodgers scratched for a run to tie the game and then went on to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/the-last-time-pena-faced-the-padres-the-dodgers-scratched-for-a-run/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/155/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_the-last-time-pena-faced-the-padres-the_1838099.png)

> [Well, it looks like the all-star balloting is about over, especially in the National and American Leagues.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/well-it-looks-like-the-all-star-balloting-is-about-over-especially-in/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b3b/jerry-coleman-3591_all-stars_well-it-looks-like-the-all-star-ballotin_1360882.png)

> [The Padres, after winning the first game of the doubleheader, are ahead here in the top of the fifth and hoping for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/the-padres-after-winning-the-first-game-of-the-doubleheader-are-ahead/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/af4/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_the-padres-after-winning-the-first-game_1547732.png)

> [When Guante started, they thought he'd be like popcorn, one of the most popular things around.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/when-guante-started-they-thought-he-d-be-like-popcorn-one-of-the-most/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5fc/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_when-guante-started-they-thought-he-d-be_1263682.png)

> [Hector Torrez, how can you communicate with Enzo Hernandez when he speaks Spanish and you speak Mexican?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/hector-torrez-how-can-you-communicate-with-enzo-hernandez-when-he/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5db/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_hector-torrez-how-can-you-communicate-wi_1101745.png)

> [The game in St. Louis has been halted in the fourth inning because of rain. I'll bet they have the jacuzzis going…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/the-game-in-st-louis-has-been-halted-in-the-fourth-inning-because-of/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c85/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_the-game-in-st-louis-has-been-halted-in_1476103.png)

> [Turner was like a pencil. He bent around that pitch!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/turner-was-like-a-pencil-he-bent-around-that-pitch/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/19e/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_turner-was-like-a-pencil-he-bent-around_2875298.png)

> [Mike Caldwell, the Padres' right-handed southpaw, will pitch tonight.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/mike-caldwell-the-padres-right-handed-southpaw-will-pitch-tonight/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bfe/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_mike-caldwell-the-padres-right-handed-so_911954.png)

> [Gene Richards swings, the ball bounces foul and hits him in the head. No harm done.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/gene-richards-swings-the-ball-bounces-foul-and-hits-him-in-the-head/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/715/jerry-coleman-3591_balls_gene-richards-swings-the-ball-bounces-fo_570515.png)

> [Parker's grand slam is the same as going 4 for 4, even though he went 1 for 4.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/parker-s-grand-slam-is-the-same-as-going-4-for-4-even-though-he-went/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dfe/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_parker-s-grand-slam-is-the-same-as-going_3148875.png)

> [Billy Almon has all of his in-laws and outlaws here this afternoon.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/billy-almon-has-all-of-his-in-laws-and-outlaws-here-this-afternoon/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/617/jerry-coleman-3591_afternoon_billy-almon-has-all-of-his-in-laws-and-o_2193743.png)

> [The sky is so clear today you can see all the way to Missouri.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/the-sky-is-so-clear-today-you-can-see-all-the-way-to-missouri/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/856/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_the-sky-is-so-clear-today-you-can-see-al_2981442.png)

> [I don't mean he missed him, but he just didn't get him when he put the tag on him.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/i-don-t-mean-he-missed-him-but-he-just-didn-t-get-him-when-he-put-the/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/291/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_i-don-t-mean-he-missed-him-but-he-just-d_1893436.png)

> [Sometimes big trees grow out of acorns - I think I heard that from a squirrel.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/sometimes-big-trees-grow-out-of-acorns-i-think-i-heard-that-from-a/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bba/jerry-coleman-3591_acorns_sometimes-big-trees-grow-out-of-acorns-i_2727060.png)

> [Reggie Smith of the Dodgers and Gary Matthews of the homers hit Braves in that game.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/reggie-smith-of-the-dodgers-and-gary-matthews-of-the-homers-hit/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ac7/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_reggie-smith-of-the-dodgers-and-gary-mat_3116561.png)

> [Last night's homer was Stargell's 399th career home run, leaving him one shy of 500.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/last-night-s-homer-was-stargell-s-399th-career-home-run-leaving-him/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b43/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_last-night-s-homer-was-stargell-s-399th_2847738.png)

> [That big guy, Winfield, at 6'6", can do things only a small man can do.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/that-big-guy-winfield-at-6-6-can-do-things-only-a-small-man-can-do/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3a6/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_that-big-guy-winfield-at-6-6-can-do-thin_1406567.png)

> [Rich Folkers is throwing 'em up in the bullpen.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/rich-folkers-is-throwing-em-up-in-the-bullpen/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/057/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_rich-folkers-is-throwing-em-up-in-the-bu_898395.png)

> [Those numbers with Tony are so often and so interesting.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/those-numbers-with-tony-are-so-often-and-so-interesting/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a6e/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_those-numbers-with-tony-are-so-often-and_1368938.png)

> [On the mound is Randy Jones, the left-hander with the Karl Marx hairdo.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/on-the-mound-is-randy-jones-the-left-hander-with-the-karl-marx-hairdo/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/016/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_on-the-mound-is-randy-jones-the-left-han_2017727.png)

> [Right now Andy Larkin is pitching just like young Andy Larkin.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/right-now-andy-larkin-is-pitching-just-like-young-andy-larkin/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db0/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_right-now-andy-larkin-is-pitching-just-l_951659.png)

> [I've made a couple of mistakes I'd like to do over.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/i-ve-made-a-couple-of-mistakes-i-d-like-to-do-over/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5de/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_i-ve-made-a-couple-of-mistakes-i-d-like_1967808.png)

> [We started with 53,000 people. Half are gone, but surprisingly, most are still here!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/we-started-with-53-000-people-half-are-gone-but-surprisingly-most-are/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/200/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_we-started-with-53-000-people-half-are-g_3118910.png)

> [I've never seen a game like this. Every game this year has been like this.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/i-ve-never-seen-a-game-like-this-every-game-this-year-has-been-like/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8c8/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_i-ve-never-seen-a-game-like-this-every-g_945154.png)

> [From the way Denny's shaking his head, he's either got an injured shoulder or a gnat in his eye.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/from-the-way-denny-s-shaking-his-head-he-s-either-got-an-injured/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/937/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_from-the-way-denny-s-shaking-his-head-he_2142942.png)

> [The first pitch to Tucker Ashford is grounded into left field. No, wait a minute. It's ball one. Low and outside.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/the-first-pitch-to-tucker-ashford-is-grounded-into-left-field-no-wait/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1ae/jerry-coleman-3591_balls_the-first-pitch-to-tucker-ashford-is-gro_2576680.png)

## Other authors on Humor

- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b018/author-mitch-hedberg-68629.jpg) Mitch Hedberg 251 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/mitch-hedberg/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b010/author-george-w-bush-38036.jpg) George W. Bush 220 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/george-w-bush/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b022/author-steven-wright-87563.jpg) Steven Wright 203 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/steven-wright/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b023/author-terry-pratchett-89528.jpg) Terry Pratchett 181 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/terry-pratchett/)
- [Mokokoma Mokhonoana 161 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/mokokoma-mokhonoana/)
- [Art Hochberg 156 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/art-hochberg/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b020/author-rick-riordan-79077.jpg) Rick Riordan 123 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/rick-riordan/)
- [Mark Twain 112 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/mark-twain/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b010/author-george-carlin-37578.jpg) George Carlin 102 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/george-carlin/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b006/author-cassandra-clare-21529.jpg) Cassandra Clare 100 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/cassandra-clare/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b021/author-rodney-dangerfield-80610.jpg) Rodney Dangerfield 96 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/rodney-dangerfield/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b001/author-josh-stern-2480.jpg) Josh Stern 94 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/josh-stern/)

## More by Jerry Coleman

> [And Kansas is at Chicago tonight or is it Chicago at Kansas City? Well, no matter as Kansas leads in the eighth four-to-four.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/and-kansas-is-at-chicago-tonight-or-is-it-chicago-at-kansas-city-well/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

> [Larry Moffett is 6' 3". Last year he was 6" 6".](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/larry-moffett-is-6-3-last-year-he-was-6-6/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

> [It's a base hit on the error by Roberts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/it-s-a-base-hit-on-the-error-by-roberts/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

> [Benedict may not be as hurt as he really is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/benedict-may-not-be-as-hurt-as-he-really-is/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

> [It's a cold night out tonight. The Padres better warm up real good because it's stiff out there.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/it-s-a-cold-night-out-tonight-the-padres-better-warm-up-real-good/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

> [There's a shot up the alley. Oh, it's just foul.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/there-s-a-shot-up-the-alley-oh-it-s-just-foul/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

> [Pete Rose has three thousand hits and three thousand fourteen overall.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/pete-rose-has-three-thousand-hits-and-three-thousand-fourteen-overall/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

> [There's a hard shot to LeMaster, he throws Madlock into the dugout.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/there-s-a-hard-shot-to-lemaster-he-throws-madlock-into-the-dugout/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

> [If Pete Rose brings the Reds in first, they ought to bronze him and put him in cement.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/if-pete-rose-brings-the-reds-in-first-they-ought-to-bronze-him-and/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

> [National League umpires wear inside chest protesters.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/national-league-umpires-wear-inside-chest-protesters/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

> [He many not be hurt as much as he really is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/he-many-not-be-hurt-as-much-as-he-really-is/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

> [Hats off to drug abusers everywhere.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/hats-off-to-drug-abusers-everywhere/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

> [Enos Cabell started out here with the Astros, and before that he was with the Orioles.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/enos-cabell-started-out-here-with-the-astros-and-before-that-he-was/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

> [The big ballpark can do it all!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/the-big-ballpark-can-do-it-all/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

> [Rich Folkers is throwing up in the bullpen.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/rich-folkers-is-throwing-up-in-the-bullpen/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

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                        "text": "That's the fourth extra base hit for the Padres - two doubles and a triple.",
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                        "text": "A day without newspapers is like walking around without your pants on.",
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                        "text": "Well, I hope before Glenn goes, he'll come up here so we can give him a big hug and a kiss, because that's the kind of guy he is.",
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                        "text": "The Phillies beat the Cubs today in a doubleheader. That puts another keg in the Cubs' coffin.",
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                        "text": "The last time Pena faced the Padres, the Dodgers scratched for a run to tie the game and then went on to win 4-0.",
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                        "text": "Hector Torrez, how can you communicate with Enzo Hernandez when he speaks Spanish and you speak Mexican?",
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                        "text": "The game in St. Louis has been halted in the fourth inning because of rain. I'll bet they have the jacuzzis going there.",
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