---
title: "Best Humor Quotes by Jerry Coleman"
description: "116 Humor quotes by Jerry Coleman. Plus more from Jerry Coleman and more Humor sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a62/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_there-s-a-hard-shot-to-lemaster-he-throw_218535.png"
---

> [There's a hard shot to LeMaster, he throws Madlock into the dugout.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/there-s-a-hard-shot-to-lemaster-he-throws-madlock-into-the-dugout/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a62/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_there-s-a-hard-shot-to-lemaster-he-throw_218535.png)

> [If ever an error had "F" written on it, that grounder did.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/if-ever-an-error-had-f-written-on-it-that-grounder-did/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/474/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_if-ever-an-error-had-f-written-on-it-tha_712023.png)

> [Hrabosky looks fierce in that Fu Manchu haircut.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/hrabosky-looks-fierce-in-that-fu-manchu-haircut/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c8c/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_hrabosky-looks-fierce-in-that-fu-manchu_739558.png)

> [Ozzie Smith is out there roaming around like glass.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/ozzie-smith-is-out-there-roaming-around-like-glass/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/11b/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_ozzie-smith-is-out-there-roaming-around_908216.png)

> [Ozzie makes a leaping, diving stop, shovels to Fernando and everybody drops everything.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/ozzie-makes-a-leaping-diving-stop-shovels-to-fernando-and-everybody/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b1/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_ozzie-makes-a-leaping-diving-stop-shovel_2364064.png)

> [When you lose your hands, you can't play baseball.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/when-you-lose-your-hands-you-can-t-play-baseball/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/894/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_when-you-lose-your-hands-you-can-t-play_1878597.png)

> [Tony Gwynn, the fat batter behind Finley, is waiting.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/tony-gwynn-the-fat-batter-behind-finley-is-waiting/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/546/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_tony-gwynn-the-fat-batter-behind-finley_2149724.png)

> [Ron Guidry is not very big, maybe 140 pounds, but he has an arm like a lion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/ron-guidry-is-not-very-big-maybe-140-pounds-but-he-has-an-arm-like-a/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/368/jerry-coleman-3591_arms_ron-guidry-is-not-very-big-maybe-140-pou_1550315.png)

> [It's a cold night out tonight. The Padres better warm up real good because it's stiff out there.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/it-s-a-cold-night-out-tonight-the-padres-better-warm-up-real-good/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/435/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_it-s-a-cold-night-out-tonight-the-padres_148671.png)

> [Whenever you get an inflamed tendon, you've got a problem. OK, here's the next pitch to Gene Tendon.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/whenever-you-get-an-inflamed-tendon-you-ve-got-a-problem-ok-here-s/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/808/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_whenever-you-get-an-inflamed-tendon-you_721827.png)

> [You walk into the locker room, and you see players with their ripping muscles and stomachs you could wash your clothes in.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/you-walk-into-the-locker-room-and-you-see-players-with-their-ripping/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ec8/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_you-walk-into-the-locker-room-and-you-se_2199564.png)

> [If Rose's streak was still intact, with that single to left, the fans would be throwing babies out of the upper deck.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/if-rose-s-streak-was-still-intact-with-that-single-to-left-the-fans/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ab4/jerry-coleman-3591_baby_if-rose-s-streak-was-still-intact-with-t_2317283.png)

> [Sunday is Senior Citizens' Day. And if you want to become a senior citizen, just call the Padre ticket office.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/sunday-is-senior-citizens-day-and-if-you-want-to-become-a-senior/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fd1/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_sunday-is-senior-citizens-day-and-if-you_1552896.png)

> [Bob Davis has his hair differently this year, short with curls like Randy Jones wears. I think you call it a Frisbee.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/bob-davis-has-his-hair-differently-this-year-short-with-curls-like/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0c7/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_bob-davis-has-his-hair-differently-this_3073438.png)

> [You didn't have to say it was gone. It was gone before it got outta here. It was going that fast.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/you-didn-t-have-to-say-it-was-gone-it-was-gone-before-it-got-outta/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c99/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_you-didn-t-have-to-say-it-was-gone-it-wa_722220.png)

> [And Kansas City is at Chicago tonight, or is it Chicago at Kansas City? Well, no matter as Kansas City leads in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/and-kansas-city-is-at-chicago-tonight-or-is-it-chicago-at-kansas-city/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/630/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_and-kansas-city-is-at-chicago-tonight-or_2836664.png)

> [There is someone warming up in the Giants' bullpen, but he's obscured by his number.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/there-is-someone-warming-up-in-the-giants-bullpen-but-he-s-obscured/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a3f/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_there-is-someone-warming-up-in-the-giant_2336422.png)

> [Shirley and Griffey get along like a rattler and a parrot.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/shirley-and-griffey-get-along-like-a-rattler-and-a-parrot/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/226/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_shirley-and-griffey-get-along-like-a-rat_2877037.png)

> [The way he's swinging the bat, he won't get a hit until the 20th century.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/the-way-he-s-swinging-the-bat-he-won-t-get-a-hit-until-the-20th/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7d8/jerry-coleman-3591_20th-century_the-way-he-s-swinging-the-bat-he-won-t-g_3094299.png)

> [Even though the ball was doubled, they got it anyway.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/even-though-the-ball-was-doubled-they-got-it-anyway/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/50d/jerry-coleman-3591_ball_even-though-the-ball-was-doubled-they-go_2321043.png)

> [If Pete Rose brings the Reds in first, they ought to bronze him and put him in cement.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/if-pete-rose-brings-the-reds-in-first-they-ought-to-bronze-him-and/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/787/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_if-pete-rose-brings-the-reds-in-first-th_224909.png)

> [It's off the leg and into the left field of Doug Rader.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/it-s-off-the-leg-and-into-the-left-field-of-doug-rader/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ff/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_it-s-off-the-leg-and-into-the-left-field_1758237.png)

> [Over the course of a season, a miscue will cost you more than a good play.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/over-the-course-of-a-season-a-miscue-will-cost-you-more-than-a-good/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be3/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_over-the-course-of-a-season-a-miscue-wil_539977.png)

> [Larry Moffett is 6' 3". Last year he was 6" 6".](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/larry-moffett-is-6-3-last-year-he-was-6-6/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/52a/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_larry-moffett-is-6-3-last-year-he-was-6_87862.png)

> [That's Hendrick's 19th home run. One more and he reaches double figures.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/that-s-hendrick-s-19th-home-run-one-more-and-he-reaches-double-figures/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb0/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_that-s-hendrick-s-19th-home-run-one-more_1519996.png)

> [Enos Cabell started out here with the Astros, and before that he was with the Orioles.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/enos-cabell-started-out-here-with-the-astros-and-before-that-he-was/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6fd/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_enos-cabell-started-out-here-with-the-as_377837.png)

> [DeShaies is like a clock out there. Every other pitch goes one way or the other.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/deshaies-is-like-a-clock-out-there-every-other-pitch-goes-one-way-or/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3a5/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_deshaies-is-like-a-clock-out-there-every_797013.png)

> [And it's a long drive down the line to centerfield.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/and-it-s-a-long-drive-down-the-line-to-centerfield/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9a1/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_and-it-s-a-long-drive-down-the-line-to-c_2754575.png)

> [McCovey swings and misses, and it's fouled back.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/mccovey-swings-and-misses-and-it-s-fouled-back/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ee/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_mccovey-swings-and-misses-and-it-s-foule_1026692.png)

> [Edwards missed getting Stearns at third base by an eyeball.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/edwards-missed-getting-stearns-at-third-base-by-an-eyeball/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/99a/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_edwards-missed-getting-stearns-at-third_2826475.png)

> [Eric Show will be 0 for 10 if that pop fly ever comes down.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/eric-show-will-be-0-for-10-if-that-pop-fly-ever-comes-down/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e54/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_eric-show-will-be-0-for-10-if-that-pop-f_1729740.png)

> [I sure hope you're staying alive for the upcoming Dodgers series.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/i-sure-hope-you-re-staying-alive-for-the-upcoming-dodgers-series/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee5/jerry-coleman-3591_alive_i-sure-hope-you-re-staying-alive-for-the_2915954.png)

> [Trailing 5-1, the Padres added an insurance run in the eighth inning.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/trailing-5-1-the-padres-added-an-insurance-run-in-the-eighth-inning/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f14/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_trailing-5-1-the-padres-added-an-insuran_1798588.png)

> [That noise in my earphones knocked my nose off and I had to pick it up and find it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/that-noise-in-my-earphones-knocked-my-nose-off-and-i-had-to-pick-it/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d7/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_that-noise-in-my-earphones-knocked-my-no_982325.png)

> [Larry Lintz steals second standing up. He slid, but he didn't have to.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/larry-lintz-steals-second-standing-up-he-slid-but-he-didn-t-have-to/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/021/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_larry-lintz-steals-second-standing-up-he_653915.png)

> [Templeton is as hot as you can be and still walk!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/templeton-is-as-hot-as-you-can-be-and-still-walk/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e7e/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_templeton-is-as-hot-as-you-can-be-and-st_910613.png)

> [National League umpires wear inside chest protesters.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/national-league-umpires-wear-inside-chest-protesters/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/956/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_national-league-umpires-wear-inside-ches_236596.png)

> [You might want to put this in the back of your craw and think about it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/you-might-want-to-put-this-in-the-back-of-your-craw-and-think-about-it/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/31c/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_you-might-want-to-put-this-in-the-back-o_2529524.jpg)

> [The Cards lead the Dodgers 4-2 after one inning and that one hasn't even started.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/the-cards-lead-the-dodgers-4-2-after-one-inning-and-that-one-hasn-t/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1cf/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_the-cards-lead-the-dodgers-4-2-after-one_2010474.png)

> [Sanguillen is totally unpredictable to pitch to because he's so unpredictable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/sanguillen-is-totally-unpredictable-to-pitch-to-because-he-s-so/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0a3/jerry-coleman-3591_baseball_sanguillen-is-totally-unpredictable-to-p_2404140.png)

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## More by Jerry Coleman

> [And Kansas is at Chicago tonight or is it Chicago at Kansas City? Well, no matter as Kansas leads in the eighth four-to-four.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/and-kansas-is-at-chicago-tonight-or-is-it-chicago-at-kansas-city-well/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

> [Larry Moffett is 6' 3". Last year he was 6" 6".](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/larry-moffett-is-6-3-last-year-he-was-6-6/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

> [It's a base hit on the error by Roberts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/it-s-a-base-hit-on-the-error-by-roberts/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

> [Benedict may not be as hurt as he really is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/benedict-may-not-be-as-hurt-as-he-really-is/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

> [It's a cold night out tonight. The Padres better warm up real good because it's stiff out there.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/it-s-a-cold-night-out-tonight-the-padres-better-warm-up-real-good/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

> [There's a shot up the alley. Oh, it's just foul.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/there-s-a-shot-up-the-alley-oh-it-s-just-foul/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

> [Pete Rose has three thousand hits and three thousand fourteen overall.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/pete-rose-has-three-thousand-hits-and-three-thousand-fourteen-overall/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

> [There's a hard shot to LeMaster, he throws Madlock into the dugout.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/there-s-a-hard-shot-to-lemaster-he-throws-madlock-into-the-dugout/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

> [If Pete Rose brings the Reds in first, they ought to bronze him and put him in cement.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/if-pete-rose-brings-the-reds-in-first-they-ought-to-bronze-him-and/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

> [National League umpires wear inside chest protesters.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/national-league-umpires-wear-inside-chest-protesters/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

> [He many not be hurt as much as he really is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/he-many-not-be-hurt-as-much-as-he-really-is/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

> [Hats off to drug abusers everywhere.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/hats-off-to-drug-abusers-everywhere/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

> [Enos Cabell started out here with the Astros, and before that he was with the Orioles.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/enos-cabell-started-out-here-with-the-astros-and-before-that-he-was/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

> [The big ballpark can do it all!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/the-big-ballpark-can-do-it-all/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

> [Rich Folkers is throwing up in the bullpen.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-coleman/rich-folkers-is-throwing-up-in-the-bullpen/)

[Jerry Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-coleman/)

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