---
title: "12 Humor Quotes By Diana Wynne Jones"
description: "12 Humor quotes by Diana Wynne Jones. Plus more from Diana Wynne Jones and more Humor sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/efc/diana-wynne-jones-1486_funny_pie-in-a-bed-of-raw-onions-human-skull-l_395144.jpg"
---

> [“Pie in a bed of raw onions. Human skull looking put-upon. -- Howl”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/pie-in-a-bed-of-raw-onions-human-skull-looking-put-upon-howl/)

[Diana Wynne Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-wynne-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/efc/diana-wynne-jones-1486_funny_pie-in-a-bed-of-raw-onions-human-skull-l_395144.jpg)

> [“Jamal stared at the dog in his arms. "Why I am I holding a dog full of angels?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/jamal-stared-at-the-dog-in-his-arms-why-i-am-i-holding-a-dog-full-of/)

[Diana Wynne Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-wynne-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/71a/diana-wynne-jones-1486_animal_jamal-stared-at-the-dog-in-his-arms-why_2940279.jpg)

> [“It was time for a strong-minded woman to take charge. Abdullah was quite glad that Sophie was one.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/it-was-time-for-a-strong-minded-woman-to-take-charge-abdullah-was/)

[Diana Wynne Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-wynne-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a05/diana-wynne-jones-1486_humor_it-was-time-for-a-strong-minded-woman-to_1307680.jpg)

> [“The demon at length fell to singing a gentle, flickering little song. It was not in any language Sophie knew - or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/the-demon-at-length-fell-to-singing-a-gentle-flickering-little-song/)

[Diana Wynne Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-wynne-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ff5/diana-wynne-jones-1486_demon_the-demon-at-length-fell-to-singing-a-ge_1144653.jpg)

> [“He held out his hand to Sophie, just like Mrs. Pentstemmon, but a little less royally. Sophie levered herself up, wondering if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/he-held-out-his-hand-to-sophie-just-like-mrs-pentstemmon-but-a-little/)

[Diana Wynne Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-wynne-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/645/diana-wynne-jones-1486_fantasy_he-held-out-his-hand-to-sophie-just-like_1913280.jpg)

> [It seems to me that humour is everybody's way of keeping sane and standing off from the situations so that they can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/it-seems-to-me-that-humour-is-everybody-s-way-of-keeping-sane-and/)

[Diana Wynne Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-wynne-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dee/diana-wynne-jones-1486_always_it-seems-to-me-that-humour-is-everybody_2181728.jpg)

> [“He started every entry with I got up . It meant, I hate this school. When he wrote I do not like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/he-started-every-entry-with-i-got-up-it-meant-i-hate-this-school-when/)

[Diana Wynne Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-wynne-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/afc/diana-wynne-jones-1486_humor_he-started-every-entry-with-i-got-up-it_1485316.jpg)

> [“You have an instinct, Sophie, that's how," said Howl. "Nothing is safe from you. If I were to court a girl who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/you-have-an-instinct-sophie-that-s-how-said-howl-nothing-is-safe-from/)

[Diana Wynne Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-wynne-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/555/diana-wynne-jones-1486_howl_you-have-an-instinct-sophie-that-s-how-s_2275189.jpg)

> [“Howl backed into the door to shut it and leaned there in a tragic attitude. "Look at you all!" he said. "Ruin…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/howl-backed-into-the-door-to-shut-it-and-leaned-there-in-a-tragic/)

[Diana Wynne Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-wynne-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a1e/diana-wynne-jones-1486_calcifer_howl-backed-into-the-door-to-shut-it-and_1151209.jpg)

> [“Female Mercenary. This will be a companion on your Tour. She is usually tall, thin and wiry, silent, and neurotic. Sex scares…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/female-mercenary-this-will-be-a-companion-on-your-tour-she-is-usually/)

[Diana Wynne Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-wynne-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ff/diana-wynne-jones-1486_archetypes_female-mercenary-this-will-be-a-companio_593349.jpg)

> [“The third encounter came towards the end of the afternoon when Sophie had worked her way quite high into the hills. A…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/the-third-encounter-came-towards-the-end-of-the-afternoon-when-sophie/)

[Diana Wynne Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-wynne-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/75f/diana-wynne-jones-1486_end-of-the-day_the-third-encounter-came-towards-the-end_2384334.jpg)

> [“Horses are of a breed unique to Fantasyland. They are capable of galloping full-tilt all day without a rest. Sometimes they do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/horses-are-of-a-breed-unique-to-fantasyland-they-are-capable-of/)

[Diana Wynne Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-wynne-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/224/diana-wynne-jones-1486_fantasy_horses-are-of-a-breed-unique-to-fantasyl_993772.jpg)

## Other authors on Humor

- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b018/author-mitch-hedberg-68629.jpg) Mitch Hedberg 251 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/mitch-hedberg/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b010/author-george-w-bush-38036.jpg) George W. Bush 220 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/george-w-bush/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b022/author-steven-wright-87563.jpg) Steven Wright 203 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/steven-wright/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b023/author-terry-pratchett-89528.jpg) Terry Pratchett 181 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/terry-pratchett/)
- [Mokokoma Mokhonoana 161 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/mokokoma-mokhonoana/)
- [Art Hochberg 156 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/art-hochberg/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b020/author-rick-riordan-79077.jpg) Rick Riordan 123 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/rick-riordan/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b013/author-jerry-coleman-49066.jpg) Jerry Coleman 116 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/jerry-coleman/)
- [Mark Twain 112 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/mark-twain/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b010/author-george-carlin-37578.jpg) George Carlin 102 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/george-carlin/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b006/author-cassandra-clare-21529.jpg) Cassandra Clare 100 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/cassandra-clare/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b021/author-rodney-dangerfield-80610.jpg) Rodney Dangerfield 96 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/rodney-dangerfield/)

## More by Diana Wynne Jones

> [“Sophie and Howl were living - somewhat quarrelsomely it must be confessed, although they were said to be happiest that way - in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/sophie-and-howl-were-living-somewhat-quarrelsomely-it-must-be/)

[Diana Wynne Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-wynne-jones/)

> [“What did you do?" said Charles. "You know that night all our shoes went into the hall," said Nirupam. "Well, we had a feast…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/what-did-you-do-said-charles-you-know-that-night-all-our-shoes-went/)

[Diana Wynne Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-wynne-jones/)

> [Take it from me, Fate doesn't care most of the time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/take-it-from-me-fate-doesn-t-care-most-of-the-time/)

[Diana Wynne Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-wynne-jones/)

> [“For a moment it seemed as if he was going to lose his temper too. His strange, pale eyes all but glared at Sophie.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/for-a-moment-it-seemed-as-if-he-was-going-to-lose-his-temper-too-his/)

[Diana Wynne Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-wynne-jones/)

> [The truth between two people always cuts two ways.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/the-truth-between-two-people-always-cuts-two-ways/)

[Diana Wynne Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-wynne-jones/)

> [“The soldier was like that. He was an expert in getting other people to do what he wanted. The only creature that could make…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/the-soldier-was-like-that-he-was-an-expert-in-getting-other-people-to/)

[Diana Wynne Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-wynne-jones/)

> [Beauty isn't made of sugar.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/beauty-isn-t-made-of-sugar/)

[Diana Wynne Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-wynne-jones/)

> [“Not likely!” Howl yelled. “I’m a coward. Only way I can do something this frightening is to tell my self I’m not doing it!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/not-likely-howl-yelled-i-m-a-coward-only-way-i-can-do-something-this/)

[Diana Wynne Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-wynne-jones/)

> [“Typical!” he said to Sophie. “ I break my neck to get here, and I find you peacefully tidying up!” Sophie looked up at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/typical-he-said-to-sophie-i-break-my-neck-to-get-here-and-i-find-you/)

[Diana Wynne Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-wynne-jones/)

> [“Howl said, "I think we ought to live happily ever after," and she thought he meant it. Sophie knew that living happily ever after…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/howl-said-i-think-we-ought-to-live-happily-ever-after-and-she-thought/)

[Diana Wynne Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-wynne-jones/)

> [Busy old fool, unruly Sophie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/busy-old-fool-unruly-sophie/)

[Diana Wynne Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-wynne-jones/)

> [But whoever heard of enchanted bacon anyway?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/but-whoever-heard-of-enchanted-bacon-anyway/)

[Diana Wynne Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-wynne-jones/)

> [“Then the geese replaced themselves with six pigs and vanished.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/then-the-geese-replaced-themselves-with-six-pigs-and-vanished/)

[Diana Wynne Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-wynne-jones/)

> [If I give you a hint and tell you it's a hint, it will be information.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/if-i-give-you-a-hint-and-tell-you-it-s-a-hint-it-will-be-information/)

[Diana Wynne Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-wynne-jones/)

> [I only want to catch you,” Michael explained. “I won’t hurt you.” “No! No!” the star crackled desperately. “That’s wrong! I’m supposed to die!”…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/i-only-want-to-catch-you-michael-explained-i-won-t-hurt-you-no-no-the/)

[Diana Wynne Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-wynne-jones/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "ItemList",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/diana-wynne-jones/#itemlist",
            "name": "12 Humor Quotes By Diana Wynne Jones",
            "numberOfItems": 12,
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Pie in a bed of raw onions. Human skull looking put-upon. -- Howl”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Diana Wynne Jones"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/pie-in-a-bed-of-raw-onions-human-skull-looking-put-upon-howl/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/efc/diana-wynne-jones-1486_funny_pie-in-a-bed-of-raw-onions-human-skull-l_395144.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/efc/diana-wynne-jones-1486_funny_pie-in-a-bed-of-raw-onions-human-skull-l_395144.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/efc/diana-wynne-jones-1486_funny_pie-in-a-bed-of-raw-onions-human-skull-l_395144.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“Pie in a bed of raw onions. Human skull looking put-upon. -- Howl” — Diana Wynne Jones",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Jamal stared at the dog in his arms. \"Why I am I holding a dog full of angels?”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Diana Wynne Jones"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/jamal-stared-at-the-dog-in-his-arms-why-i-am-i-holding-a-dog-full-of/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/71a/diana-wynne-jones-1486_animal_jamal-stared-at-the-dog-in-his-arms-why_2940279.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/71a/diana-wynne-jones-1486_animal_jamal-stared-at-the-dog-in-his-arms-why_2940279.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/71a/diana-wynne-jones-1486_animal_jamal-stared-at-the-dog-in-his-arms-why_2940279.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“Jamal stared at the dog in his arms. \"Why I am I holding a dog full of angels?” — Diana Wynne Jones",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“It was time for a strong-minded woman to take charge. Abdullah was quite glad that Sophie was one.”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Diana Wynne Jones"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/it-was-time-for-a-strong-minded-woman-to-take-charge-abdullah-was/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a05/diana-wynne-jones-1486_humor_it-was-time-for-a-strong-minded-woman-to_1307680.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a05/diana-wynne-jones-1486_humor_it-was-time-for-a-strong-minded-woman-to_1307680.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a05/diana-wynne-jones-1486_humor_it-was-time-for-a-strong-minded-woman-to_1307680.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“It was time for a strong-minded woman to take charge. Abdullah was quite glad that Sophie was one.” — Diana Wynne Jones",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“The demon at length fell to singing a gentle, flickering little song. It was not in any language Sophie knew - or she thought not, until she distinctly heard the word \"saucepan\" in it several times...”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Diana Wynne Jones"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/the-demon-at-length-fell-to-singing-a-gentle-flickering-little-song/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ff5/diana-wynne-jones-1486_demon_the-demon-at-length-fell-to-singing-a-ge_1144653.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ff5/diana-wynne-jones-1486_demon_the-demon-at-length-fell-to-singing-a-ge_1144653.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ff5/diana-wynne-jones-1486_demon_the-demon-at-length-fell-to-singing-a-ge_1144653.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“The demon at length fell to singing a gentle, flickering little song. It was not in any language Sophie knew…” — Diana Wynne Jones",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 5,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“He held out his hand to Sophie, just like Mrs. Pentstemmon, but a little less royally. Sophie levered herself up, wondering if she was meant to kiss this hand or not. But since she felt more like raising her stick and beating the King over the head with it, she shook the King's hand and gave a creaking little curtsy.”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Diana Wynne Jones"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/he-held-out-his-hand-to-sophie-just-like-mrs-pentstemmon-but-a-little/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/645/diana-wynne-jones-1486_fantasy_he-held-out-his-hand-to-sophie-just-like_1913280.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/645/diana-wynne-jones-1486_fantasy_he-held-out-his-hand-to-sophie-just-like_1913280.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/645/diana-wynne-jones-1486_fantasy_he-held-out-his-hand-to-sophie-just-like_1913280.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“He held out his hand to Sophie, just like Mrs. Pentstemmon, but a little less royally. Sophie levered…” — Diana Wynne Jones",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 6,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "It seems to me that humour is everybody's way of keeping sane and standing off from the situations so that they can see it intellectually, as well as emotionally, and I don't know whether you've noticed, but if somebody tells a joke, it's nearly always a mini fantasy.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Diana Wynne Jones"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/it-seems-to-me-that-humour-is-everybody-s-way-of-keeping-sane-and/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dee/diana-wynne-jones-1486_always_it-seems-to-me-that-humour-is-everybody_2181728.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dee/diana-wynne-jones-1486_always_it-seems-to-me-that-humour-is-everybody_2181728.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dee/diana-wynne-jones-1486_always_it-seems-to-me-that-humour-is-everybody_2181728.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“It seems to me that humour is everybody's way of keeping sane and standing off from the situations so that…” — Diana Wynne Jones",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 7,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“He started every entry with I got up . It meant, I hate this school. When he wrote I do not like porridge , that was actually true, but porridge was his code-word for Simon Silverson. Simon was porridge at breakfast, potatoes at lunch, and bread at tea. All the other other he hated had code-words too. Dan Smith was cornflakes, cabbage, and butter. Theresa was milk.”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Diana Wynne Jones"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/he-started-every-entry-with-i-got-up-it-meant-i-hate-this-school-when/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/afc/diana-wynne-jones-1486_humor_he-started-every-entry-with-i-got-up-it_1485316.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/afc/diana-wynne-jones-1486_humor_he-started-every-entry-with-i-got-up-it_1485316.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/afc/diana-wynne-jones-1486_humor_he-started-every-entry-with-i-got-up-it_1485316.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“He started every entry with I got up . It meant, I hate this school. When he wrote I do not like porridge…” — Diana Wynne Jones",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 8,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“You have an instinct, Sophie, that's how,\" said Howl. \"Nothing is safe from you. If I were to court a girl who lived on an iceberg in the middle of the ocean, sooner or later—probably sooner—I'd look up to see you swooping overhead on a broomstick. In fact, by now I'd be disappointed in you if I didn't see you.”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Diana Wynne Jones"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/you-have-an-instinct-sophie-that-s-how-said-howl-nothing-is-safe-from/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/555/diana-wynne-jones-1486_howl_you-have-an-instinct-sophie-that-s-how-s_2275189.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/555/diana-wynne-jones-1486_howl_you-have-an-instinct-sophie-that-s-how-s_2275189.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/555/diana-wynne-jones-1486_howl_you-have-an-instinct-sophie-that-s-how-s_2275189.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“You have an instinct, Sophie, that's how,\" said Howl. \"Nothing is safe from you. If I were to court a girl…” — Diana Wynne Jones",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 9,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Howl backed into the door to shut it and leaned there in a tragic attitude. \"Look at you all!\" he said. \"Ruin stares me in the face. I slave all day for you. And not one of you, even Calcifer, can spare time to say hello!\" Calcifer said, \"I never do say hello.\" \"Is something wrong?\" asked Sophie. \"That's better,\" Howl said. \"Some of you are pretending to notice me at last. Yes, something is wrong.”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Diana Wynne Jones"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/howl-backed-into-the-door-to-shut-it-and-leaned-there-in-a-tragic/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a1e/diana-wynne-jones-1486_calcifer_howl-backed-into-the-door-to-shut-it-and_1151209.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a1e/diana-wynne-jones-1486_calcifer_howl-backed-into-the-door-to-shut-it-and_1151209.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a1e/diana-wynne-jones-1486_calcifer_howl-backed-into-the-door-to-shut-it-and_1151209.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“Howl backed into the door to shut it and leaned there in a tragic attitude. \"Look at you all!\" he said…” — Diana Wynne Jones",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 10,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Female Mercenary. This will be a companion on your Tour. She is usually tall, thin and wiry, silent, and neurotic. Sex scares her. This is because she either came from a nunnery or was raped as a child. Or both. Somehow this inspired her to become a mercenary and she is very good at her job. You can rely on her absolutely in a fight. She can usually kill two people at once while guarding your back in between. The rest of the time, she will irritate you with lots of punctilious weapons cleaning and a perpetual insistence that a proper watch be kept. Mostly, she will have no magic talents, but sometimes, in an emergency, she will come up with a gift or vision. You will end up grudgingly admiring her.”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Diana Wynne Jones"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/female-mercenary-this-will-be-a-companion-on-your-tour-she-is-usually/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ff/diana-wynne-jones-1486_archetypes_female-mercenary-this-will-be-a-companio_593349.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ff/diana-wynne-jones-1486_archetypes_female-mercenary-this-will-be-a-companio_593349.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ff/diana-wynne-jones-1486_archetypes_female-mercenary-this-will-be-a-companio_593349.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“Female Mercenary. This will be a companion on your Tour. She is usually tall, thin and wiry, silent, and…” — Diana Wynne Jones",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 11,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“The third encounter came towards the end of the afternoon when Sophie had worked her way quite high into the hills. A countryman came whistling down the lane towards her. A shepherd, Sophie thought, going home after seeing to his sheep. He was a well set up young fellow of forty or so. \"Gracious!\" Sophie said to herself. \"This morning I'd have seen him as an old man. How one's point of view does alter!\" When the shepherd saw Sophie mumbling to herself, he moved rather carefully over to the other side of the lane and called out with great heartiness, \"Good evening to you, Mother! Where are you off to?\" \"Mother?\" said Sophie. \"I'm not your mother, young man!\" \"A manner of speaking,\" the shepherd said, edging along against the opposite hedge. \"I was only meaning a polite inquiry, seeing you walking into the hills at the end of the day. You won't get down into Upper Folding before nightfall, will you?\" Sophie had not considered this. She stood in the road and thought about it. \"It doesn't matter really,\" she said, half to herself. \"You can't be fussy when you're off to seek your fortune.\" \"Can't you indeed, Mother?\" said the shepherd. He had now edged himself downhill of Sophie and seemed to feel better for it. \"Then I wish you luck, Mother, provided your fortune don't have nothing to do with charming folks' cattle.\" And he took off down the road in great strides, almost running, but not quite. Sophie stared after him indignantly. \"He thought I was a witch!\" she said to her stick. She had half a mind to scare the shepherd by shouting nasty things after him, but that seemed a little unkind.”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Diana Wynne Jones"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/the-third-encounter-came-towards-the-end-of-the-afternoon-when-sophie/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/75f/diana-wynne-jones-1486_end-of-the-day_the-third-encounter-came-towards-the-end_2384334.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/75f/diana-wynne-jones-1486_end-of-the-day_the-third-encounter-came-towards-the-end_2384334.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/75f/diana-wynne-jones-1486_end-of-the-day_the-third-encounter-came-towards-the-end_2384334.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“The third encounter came towards the end of the afternoon when Sophie had worked her way quite high into the…” — Diana Wynne Jones",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 12,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Horses are of a breed unique to Fantasyland. They are capable of galloping full-tilt all day without a rest. Sometimes they do not require food or water. They never cast shoes, go lame or put their hooves down holes, except when the Management deems it necessary, as when the forces of the Dark Lord are only half an hour behind. They never otherwise stumble. Nor do they ever make life difficult for Tourists by biting or kicking their riders or one another. They never resist being mounted or blow out so that their girths slip, or do any of the other things that make horses so chancy in this world. For instance, they never shy and seldom whinny or demand sugar at inopportune moments. But for some reason you cannot hold a conversation while riding them. If you want to say anything to another Tourist (or vice versa), both of you will have to rein to a stop and stand staring out over a valley while you talk. Apart from this inexplicable quirk, horses can be used just like bicycles, and usually are. Much research into how these exemplary animals come to exist has resulted in the following: no mare ever comes into season on the Tour and no stallion ever shows an interest in a mare; and few horses are described as geldings. It therefore seems probable that they breed by pollination. This theory seems to account for everything, since it is clear that the creatures do behave more like vegetables than mammals. Nomads appears to have a monopoly on horse-breeding. They alone possess the secret of how to pollinate them.”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Diana Wynne Jones"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/horses-are-of-a-breed-unique-to-fantasyland-they-are-capable-of/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/224/diana-wynne-jones-1486_fantasy_horses-are-of-a-breed-unique-to-fantasyl_993772.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/224/diana-wynne-jones-1486_fantasy_horses-are-of-a-breed-unique-to-fantasyl_993772.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/224/diana-wynne-jones-1486_fantasy_horses-are-of-a-breed-unique-to-fantasyl_993772.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“Horses are of a breed unique to Fantasyland. They are capable of galloping full-tilt all day without a rest…” — Diana Wynne Jones",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                }
            ]
        },
        {
            "@type": "CollectionPage",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/diana-wynne-jones/#webpage",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/diana-wynne-jones/",
            "name": "Humor Quotes by Diana Wynne Jones",
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "mainEntity": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/diana-wynne-jones/#itemlist"
            },
            "primaryImageOfPage": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/efc/diana-wynne-jones-1486_funny_pie-in-a-bed-of-raw-onions-human-skull-l_395144.jpg"
            },
            "description": "12 Humor quotes by Diana Wynne Jones. Plus more from Diana Wynne Jones and more Humor sayings from other authors.",
            "breadcrumb": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/diana-wynne-jones/#breadcrumb"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/diana-wynne-jones/#breadcrumb",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Topics",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/categories/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "Humor",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 5,
                    "name": "Diana Wynne Jones",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/diana-wynne-jones/"
                }
            ]
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
