---
title: "81 Humor-relationships Quotes by 77 authors"
description: "Browse 81 Humor-relationships quotes by 77 authors. Discover the best Humor-relationships sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/637/tonya-hurley-10658_fun-read_i-see-uncool-people-1405852_1405852.jpg"
---

> [“I see uncool people!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tonya-hurley/i-see-uncool-people/)

[Tonya Hurley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tonya-hurley/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/637/tonya-hurley-10658_fun-read_i-see-uncool-people-1405852_1405852.jpg)

> [“Me Tarz-tosterone; You Estro-Jane”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-cleaver/me-tarz-tosterone-you-estro-jane/)

[Tony Cleaver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-cleaver/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/963/tony-cleaver-57564_amor_me-tarz-tosterone-you-estro-jane-2952293_2952293.jpg)

> [“Men are men, mortal or not.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kc-randall/men-are-men-mortal-or-not/)

[KC Randall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kc-randall/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/05b/kc-randall-63735_death_men-are-men-mortal-or-not-1004783_1004783.jpg)

> [“No day should be without romance”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-bennett/no-day-should-be-without-romance/)

[Dana Bennett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-bennett/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/56a/dana-bennett-230217_humor-relationships_no-day-should-be-without-romance-575037_575037.jpg)

> [“Is that a banana in your lunch box, or are you just pleased to see me?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/h-m-forester/is-that-a-banana-in-your-lunch-box-or-are-you-just-pleased-to-see-me/)

[H.M. Forester](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/h-m-forester/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/037/h-m-forester-17957_humor-relationships_is-that-a-banana-in-your-lunch-box-or-ar_1804491.jpg)

> [“Safety tip. When you see smoke run, never wait for fire.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/danielle-sibarium/safety-tip-when-you-see-smoke-run-never-wait-for-fire/)

[Danielle Sibarium](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/danielle-sibarium/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ecc/danielle-sibarium-55852_fire_safety-tip-when-you-see-smoke-run-never_2423940.jpg)

> [“either love me or leave me alone." — jay-z”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-z/either-love-me-or-leave-me-alone-jay-z/)

[Jay-Z](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-z/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f64/jay-z-713_humor-relationships_either-love-me-or-leave-me-alone-jay-z-9_938734.png)

> [“She threw herself eagerly into the paths of unsuitable men.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-taintor/she-threw-herself-eagerly-into-the-paths-of-unsuitable-men/)

[Anne Taintor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-taintor/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/762/anne-taintor-19482_eagerly_she-threw-herself-eagerly-into-the-paths_1915016.png)

> [“The wealthiest Person on earth is one who is free from the love of Money”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-darrah/the-wealthiest-person-on-earth-is-one-who-is-free-from-the-love-of/)

[Andrew Darrah](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-darrah/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b5c/andrew-darrah-219116_business_the-wealthiest-person-on-earth-is-one-wh_2480530.jpg)

> [“Pe aceia pe care Dumnezeu i-a unit nici o soacra sa nu-i desparta!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erich-segal/pe-aceia-pe-care-dumnezeu-i-a-unit-nici-o-soacra-sa-nu-i-desparta/)

[Erich Segal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erich-segal/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c19/erich-segal-12086_amor_pe-aceia-pe-care-dumnezeu-i-a-unit-nici_2340453.png)

> [“You love the bitch from hell? Well then, you must be nuts.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sophie-kinsella/you-love-the-bitch-from-hell-well-then-you-must-be-nuts/)

[Sophie Kinsella](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sophie-kinsella/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3c8/sophie-kinsella-719_bitch_you-love-the-bitch-from-hell-well-then-y_1511587.png)

> [“Boys dream of strippers, men dream of their women waiting for them at home.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kathleen-brooks/boys-dream-of-strippers-men-dream-of-their-women-waiting-for-them-at/)

[Kathleen Brooks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kathleen-brooks/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f5a/kathleen-brooks-37170_boys_boys-dream-of-strippers-men-dream-of-the_429064.jpg)

> [“Sorry, but I'd rather sit home eating Vienna sausage straight from the can watching Andy Griffith reruns than be forced to dine…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/piper-faust/sorry-but-i-d-rather-sit-home-eating-vienna-sausage-straight-from-the/)

[Piper Faust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/piper-faust/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d82/piper-faust-60830_chicklit_sorry-but-i-d-rather-sit-home-eating-vie_1561674.jpg)

> [“Crying all the time had made her more beautiful. Grief will do that sometimes. Not for me. Loretta had left months ago…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/junot-diaz/crying-all-the-time-had-made-her-more-beautiful-grief-will-do-that/)

[Junot Díaz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/junot-diaz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/41d/junot-diaz-531_crying_crying-all-the-time-had-made-her-more-be_3033184.jpg)

> [“You astound me, Ava. I’ve never met a girl who would order what you just did in front of a guy.” “You…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-gulla/you-astound-me-ava-i-ve-never-met-a-girl-who-would-order-what-you/)

[Nicole Gulla](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-gulla/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/346/nicole-gulla-10517_bad-boy_you-astound-me-ava-i-ve-never-met-a-girl_132562.jpg)

> [“There is nothing worse than the day you find out that your parents are nasty, horny mortals like everyone else. It just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/candice-raquel-lee/there-is-nothing-worse-than-the-day-you-find-out-that-your-parents/)

[Candice Raquel Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/candice-raquel-lee/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f18/candice-raquel-lee-36640_children_there-is-nothing-worse-than-the-day-you_2508445.jpg)

> [“There’s pretty much no way for me to answer that without sounding like an asshole, so maybe you could do me a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alex-potvin/there-s-pretty-much-no-way-for-me-to-answer-that-without-sounding/)

[Alex Potvin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alex-potvin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ef6/alex-potvin-76239_funny_there-s-pretty-much-no-way-for-me-to-ans_1794112.jpg)

> [“Watch it, buster. There's only room for one sarcastic malcontent in this relationship.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christine-warren/watch-it-buster-there-s-only-room-for-one-sarcastic-malcontent-in/)

[Christine Warren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christine-warren/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/32a/christine-warren-16857_buster_watch-it-buster-there-s-only-room-for-on_299010.png)

> [“I'd rather have rabies than be in love." "Why?" "Because at least you can get over rabies with some shots.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shelly-laurenston/i-d-rather-have-rabies-than-be-in-love-why-because-at-least-you-can/)

[Shelly Laurenston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shelly-laurenston/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7b2/shelly-laurenston-1018_funny_i-d-rather-have-rabies-than-be-in-love-w_434497.jpg)

> [“Don’t blame your mother, Tony. I was the one being promiscuous.” Owen said. Evelyn nodded. “And you know how much I love…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/delora-dennis/don-t-blame-your-mother-tony-i-was-the-one-being-promiscuous-owen/)

[Delora Dennis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/delora-dennis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/193/delora-dennis-46251_greek-mythology_don-t-blame-your-mother-tony-i-was-the-o_369120.jpg)

> [“She lay there, destroyed, quiet aftershocks shuddering through her. Silence settled into the room. “Mind letting go of my hair, Sophi?” His…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-a-knight/she-lay-there-destroyed-quiet-aftershocks-shuddering-through-her/)

[Patricia A. Knight](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-a-knight/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/097/patricia-a-knight-36705_humor-relationships_she-lay-there-destroyed-quiet-aftershock_1592199.jpg)

> [“When we do it again," he told her, his hands hot on her, "it'll be where I want,when I want,with spotlights if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-cruise-bet-me/when-we-do-it-again-he-told-her-his-hands-hot-on-her-it-ll-be-where-i/)

[Jennifer Cruise (Bet Me](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-cruise-bet-me/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f20/jennifer-cruise-bet-me-247269_bet-me_when-we-do-it-again-he-told-her-his-hand_1734999.jpg)

> [“Here to show me how to grow a penis so I can get the job done?" "Chloe, I'm pretty sure if you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christina-lauren/here-to-show-me-how-to-grow-a-penis-so-i-can-get-the-job-done-chloe-i/)

[Christina Lauren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christina-lauren/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d7c/christina-lauren-976_humor-relationships_here-to-show-me-how-to-grow-a-penis-so-i_284572.jpg)

> [“Men are very sensitive, Mma Makutsi. You would not always think it to look at them, but they are. They do not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexander-mccall-smith/men-are-very-sensitive-mma-makutsi-you-would-not-always-think-it-to/)

[Alexander McCall Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexander-mccall-smith/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ebb/alexander-mccall-smith-372_humor-relationships_men-are-very-sensitive-mma-makutsi-you-w_13135.png)

> [“Are Cady and O'Neill Ever going to get together?" Those amber eyes weighed me heavily, and then he answered my question with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richelle-mead/are-cady-and-o-neill-ever-going-to-get-together-those-amber-eyes/)

[Richelle Mead](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richelle-mead/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fce/richelle-mead-46_amber-eyes_are-cady-and-o-neill-ever-going-to-get-t_938167.jpg)

> [“I didn’t hear you, what did you say?” he asked smiling, knowing full well he heard me just fine. “I – LOVE…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-lazaridis/i-didn-t-hear-you-what-did-you-say-he-asked-smiling-knowing-full-well/)

[Anna Lazaridis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-lazaridis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/19a/anna-lazaridis-111376_evening-sky_i-didn-t-hear-you-what-did-you-say-he-as_2082892.jpg)

> [“His latest theory about his dealings with women isn't that he's lost his reason or that women are illogical (Deb, for instance,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-felber/his-latest-theory-about-his-dealings-with-women-isn-t-that-he-s-lost/)

[Adam Felber](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-felber/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1d0/adam-felber-78528_humor-relationships_his-latest-theory-about-his-dealings-wit_2314031.jpg)

> [“You know what's not sexy?" I pushed his hand away. "Babies. Babies are not sexy." "But I bought condoms," he said. "I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurie-halse-anderson/you-know-what-s-not-sexy-i-pushed-his-hand-away-babies-babies-are-not/)

[Laurie Halse Anderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurie-halse-anderson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d15/laurie-halse-anderson-623_humor-relationships_you-know-what-s-not-sexy-i-pushed-his-ha_335306.jpg)

> [“How did I dance with a guy who's never heard of feminism?" "I've heard of it, but that doesn't mean a woman…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lani-woodland/how-did-i-dance-with-a-guy-who-s-never-heard-of-feminism-i-ve-heard/)

[Lani Woodland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lani-woodland/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b6c/lani-woodland-24523_feminism_how-did-i-dance-with-a-guy-who-s-never-h_2168201.jpg)

> [“Because of their DNA, most men loved a damsel in distress. Every time a man sees a pretty lass in trouble, even…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallika-nawal/because-of-their-dna-most-men-loved-a-damsel-in-distress-every-time-a/)

[Mallika Nawal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallika-nawal/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/055/mallika-nawal-31865_chivalry_because-of-their-dna-most-men-loved-a-da_780993.jpg)

> [“I took a little walk outside for a while. I was surprised that I wasn't feeling what I thought people were supposed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-feynman/i-took-a-little-walk-outside-for-a-while-i-was-surprised-that-i-wasn/)

[Richard Feynman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-feynman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f28/richard-feynman-12444_bad-luck_i-took-a-little-walk-outside-for-a-while_1504319.jpg)

> [“Sile looked momentarily stymied, then shook his head sharply. "You won't go alone." "I can't ask anyone--" "You aren't asking," Sile said…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lynn-kurland/sile-looked-momentarily-stymied-then-shook-his-head-sharply-you-won-t/)

[Lynn Kurland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lynn-kurland/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b8b/lynn-kurland-18698_grandfather_sile-looked-momentarily-stymied-then-sho_2112070.jpg)

> [“Trick.” I say a little louder. “Shhh, sleep baby.” He mumbles. I laugh and smack his arm. “Wake up. I can feel…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/k-larsen/trick-i-say-a-little-louder-shhh-sleep-baby-he-mumbles-i-laugh-and/)

[K. Larsen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/k-larsen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7f6/k-larsen-20039_couples_trick-i-say-a-little-louder-shhh-sleep-b_1388852.jpg)

> [“She pushed the car. But I was so distracted that i forgot to push the button on the timer, so we had…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jordan-sonnenblick/she-pushed-the-car-but-i-was-so-distracted-that-i-forgot-to-push-the/)

[Jordan Sonnenblick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jordan-sonnenblick/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8f9/jordan-sonnenblick-12622_humor_she-pushed-the-car-but-i-was-so-distract_2797131.png)

> [“Yeah, well. If you're staying here in hopes of making out with Alaska, I sure wish you wouldn't. If you unmoor her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/yeah-well-if-you-re-staying-here-in-hopes-of-making-out-with-alaska-i/)

[John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bbc/john-green-12_compassion_yeah-well-if-you-re-staying-here-in-hope_2429051.jpg)

> [“I profess not to know how women’s hearts are wooed and won. To me they have always been matters of riddle and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/washington-irving/i-profess-not-to-know-how-women-s-hearts-are-wooed-and-won-to-me-they-2/)

[Washington Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/washington-irving/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a4c/washington-irving-1386_admiration_i-profess-not-to-know-how-women-s-hearts_1575696.png)

> [“Don't be fooled, Clara. No one's new and shiny. Not really.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lisa-smartt/don-t-be-fooled-clara-no-one-s-new-and-shiny-not-really/)

[Lisa Smartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lisa-smartt/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/13a/lisa-smartt-68503_drama_don-t-be-fooled-clara-no-one-s-new-and-s_3029341.jpg)

> [“He was the yin to my yang, the sparkly jumpsuit to my Elvis.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brooke-moss/he-was-the-yin-to-my-yang-the-sparkly-jumpsuit-to-my-elvis/)

[Brooke Moss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brooke-moss/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/558/brooke-moss-35203_humor-relationships_he-was-the-yin-to-my-yang-the-sparkly-ju_998686.jpg)

> [“the best way to get over someone is to get on top of someone else”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emma-chase-twisted/the-best-way-to-get-over-someone-is-to-get-on-top-of-someone-else/)

[Emma Chase Twisted](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emma-chase-twisted/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b74/emma-chase-twisted-77759_humor-relationships_the-best-way-to-get-over-someone-is-to-g_1808402.jpg)

> [“Had she punished him enough? How could she be sure?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-taintor/had-she-punished-him-enough-how-could-she-be-sure/)

[Anne Taintor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-taintor/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ae1/anne-taintor-19482_heart_had-she-punished-him-enough-how-could-sh_3067359.png)

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                        "text": "“No day should be without romance”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Is that a banana in your lunch box, or are you just pleased to see me?”",
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                            "name": "H.M. Forester"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Safety tip. When you see smoke run, never wait for fire.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“either love me or leave me alone.\" — jay-z”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“She threw herself eagerly into the paths of unsuitable men.”",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Anne Taintor"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“The wealthiest Person on earth is one who is free from the love of Money”",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Andrew Darrah"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Pe aceia pe care Dumnezeu i-a unit nici o soacra sa nu-i desparta!”",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Erich Segal"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“You love the bitch from hell? Well then, you must be nuts.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Boys dream of strippers, men dream of their women waiting for them at home.”",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Kathleen Brooks"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Sorry, but I'd rather sit home eating Vienna sausage straight from the can watching Andy Griffith reruns than be forced to dine with that Oompa-Loompa!”",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Piper Faust"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Crying all the time had made her more beautiful. Grief will do that sometimes. Not for me. Loretta had left months ago and I still looked like hell.”",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Junot Díaz"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“You astound me, Ava. I’ve never met a girl who would order what you just did in front of a guy.” “You mean lunch?”",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Nicole Gulla"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“There is nothing worse than the day you find out that your parents are nasty, horny mortals like everyone else. It just kills your childhood.”",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Candice Raquel Lee"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“There’s pretty much no way for me to answer that without sounding like an asshole, so maybe you could do me a solid and not make me.”",
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                            "name": "Alex Potvin"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Watch it, buster. There's only room for one sarcastic malcontent in this relationship.”",
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                            "name": "Christine Warren"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“I'd rather have rabies than be in love.\" \"Why?\" \"Because at least you can get over rabies with some shots.”",
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                            "name": "Shelly Laurenston"
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                        "text": "“Don’t blame your mother, Tony. I was the one being promiscuous.” Owen said. Evelyn nodded. “And you know how much I love Greek mythology, Son.”",
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                            "caption": "“Don’t blame your mother, Tony. I was the one being promiscuous.” Owen said. Evelyn nodded. “And you know how…” — Delora Dennis",
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                        "text": "“She lay there, destroyed, quiet aftershocks shuddering through her. Silence settled into the room. “Mind letting go of my hair, Sophi?” His muffled voice vibrated against her pubic bone. “Oh!” She released her fists still violently clenched in his hair. He raised his head, laughter gleaming in his eyes.”",
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                        "text": "“When we do it again,\" he told her, his hands hot on her, \"it'll be where I want,when I want,with spotlights if I want.\" \"I don't think so\", she said and he kissed her again and she thought, Oh, hell, wherever you want, and kissed him back. \"Whatever I want,\" he whispered in her ear. \"Okay,\" she whispered back.”",
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                            "caption": "“When we do it again,\" he told her, his hands hot on her, \"it'll be where I want,when I want,with spotlights…” — Jennifer Cruise (Bet Me",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Here to show me how to grow a penis so I can get the job done?\" \"Chloe, I'm pretty sure if you wanted to grow one, you could do it by will alone.\" \"I'd grow one just so I could ask you to suck on it.”",
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                            "caption": "“Here to show me how to grow a penis so I can get the job done?\" \"Chloe, I'm pretty sure if you wanted to…” — Christina Lauren",
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                        "text": "“Men are very sensitive, Mma Makutsi. You would not always think it to look at them, but they are. They do not like you to point out that they are wrong, even when they are. That is the way things are, Mma--it just is.”",
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                            "caption": "“Men are very sensitive, Mma Makutsi. You would not always think it to look at them, but they are. They do…” — Alexander McCall Smith",
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                        "text": "“Are Cady and O'Neill Ever going to get together?\" Those amber eyes weighed me heavily, and then he answered my question with a question. \"Do you think they should?\" \"Well I said, \"they've been through an awful lot together. And if there's only one book left, it kind of seems like they're running out of time”",
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                            "caption": "“Are Cady and O'Neill Ever going to get together?\" Those amber eyes weighed me heavily, and then he answered…” — Richelle Mead",
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                        "text": "“I didn’t hear you, what did you say?” he asked smiling, knowing full well he heard me just fine. “I – LOVE – YOU!” I repeated, emphasising each and every word. “Did you hear me now or would you like me to repeat it?” “As often as possible, I would hope,” he said, kissing me softly under the evening sky.”",
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                            "caption": "“I didn’t hear you, what did you say?” he asked smiling, knowing full well he heard me just fine. “I – LOVE –…” — Anna Lazaridis",
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                        "text": "“His latest theory about his dealings with women isn't that he's lost his reason or that women are illogical (Deb, for instance, displays exemplary thought processes;) it's just that a certain vital part of the interface between them is strongly encrypted and requires some workaround.”",
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                            "name": "Adam Felber"
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                            "caption": "“His latest theory about his dealings with women isn't that he's lost his reason or that women are illogical…” — Adam Felber",
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                        "text": "“You know what's not sexy?\" I pushed his hand away. \"Babies. Babies are not sexy.\" \"But I bought condoms,\" he said. \"I even practiced putting one on!\" The lost-puppy look on his face made me smile. \"I'm proud of you, Boner Man, but that's not enough.”",
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                            "caption": "“You know what's not sexy?\" I pushed his hand away. \"Babies. Babies are not sexy.\" \"But I bought condoms,\" he…” — Laurie Halse Anderson",
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                        "text": "“How did I dance with a guy who's never heard of feminism?\" \"I've heard of it, but that doesn't mean a woman can do everything a man can do,\" he goaded. I went to smack him on the back of his head, but he ducked with a snicker.\"I'm learning,\" he informed me. \"How did I ever consider dating such a violent girl?\" \"We're both lucky we got out early before we really knew each other.\" \"Oh yes, good thing neither one of is still interested in the other,\" Brent said with a playful grin.”",
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                            "caption": "“How did I dance with a guy who's never heard of feminism?\" \"I've heard of it, but that doesn't mean a woman…” — Lani Woodland",
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                        "text": "“Because of their DNA, most men loved a damsel in distress. Every time a man sees a pretty lass in trouble, even the boorish slob-of-a-man transforms into a chivalrous knight-in-shining-armour. This was why most women (no matter how strong, competent or resourceful) were forced to act shy, demure and helpless so that their men could feel like strong grizzly bears or ferocious mountain lions.”",
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                            "caption": "“Because of their DNA, most men loved a damsel in distress. Every time a man sees a pretty lass in trouble…” — Mallika Nawal",
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                        "text": "“I took a little walk outside for a while. I was surprised that I wasn't feeling what I thought people were supposed to feel under the circumstances. May be I was fooling myself. I wasn't delighted, but I didn't feel terribly upset, perhaps because we had known for a long time that it was going to happen. It's hard to explain. If a Martian(who, we'll imagine never dies except by accident) came to Earth and saw this peculiar race of creatures-these humans who live about seventy or eighty years, knowing that death is going to come--it would look to hi like a terrible problem of psychology to live under those circumstances, knowing that life is only temporary Well, we humans somehow figure out how to live despite this problem: we laugh, we joke, we live. The only difference for me and Arlene was, instead of fifty years, it was five years. It was only a quantitative difference--the psychological problem was just the same. The only way it would have become any different is if we had said to ourselves, \"But those other people have it better, because they might live fifty years.\" But that's crazy. Why make yourself miserable saying things like, \"Why do we have such bad luck? What has God done to us? What have we done to deserve this?\"--all of which, if you understand reality and take it completely into your heart, are irrelevant and unsolvable. They are just things that nobody can know. Your situation is just an accident of life.. We had a hell of good time together...”",
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                            "caption": "“I took a little walk outside for a while. I was surprised that I wasn't feeling what I thought people were…” — Richard Feynman",
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                        "text": "“Sile looked momentarily stymied, then shook his head sharply. \"You won't go alone.\" \"I can't ask anyone--\" \"You aren't asking,\" Sile said firmly. \"I'm insisting--\" \"Grandfather, nay,\" Runach said, stunned. \"I couldn't allow it.\" \"Allow it?\" Sile repeated, looking as if the gale were readying for another good blow. \"Who do you think you are, whelp, to tell me what to do?\" \"I believe, your Majesty,\" Aisling said quietly, \"he's someone who loves you...\" Runach didn't dare smile, because his grandfather would have made the effort to get up out of his chair so he could deliver a brisk blow to the back of a grandson's head, of that he was certain. \"Besides, I'm going to go along to keep him safe.\" Sile closed his eyes briefly before he leaned forward and looked at Aisling seriously. \"You, my gel?\" \"Me, Your Majesty.\" Runach watched his grandfather look at his wife in consternation. \"Are you listening to this?\" he asked in disbelief. \"She isn't even spawn of mine, and yet she exhibits this unsettling 'independence'.\" \"I find it quite admirable, husband.\" Runach pushed away from the wall and walked over to squat down by Aisling's chair. He looked up at her. \"I want you to stay here.\" She looked at him for a moment or two, then reached out and touched his scarred cheek. \"This is my quest, and I must see it through to the end, wherever that end might lie.\" \"I'll think about it,\" he said, and by that he meant not a chance in hell. He rose and glanced at his grandfather. \"I appreciate your concern, but I'm going alone.\" Sile rubbed his hands over his face. \"Breagha?\" \"Aye, my love?\" \"When did I lose control over my progeny?\" \"Several centuries ago, I believe, dear.\" \"It seems more recent than that.\" \"I don't think so, darling.”",
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                        "text": "“Trick.” I say a little louder. “Shhh, sleep baby.” He mumbles. I laugh and smack his arm. “Wake up. I can feel your morning wood.” This gets his attention and he sits up, taking me with him. The arms wrapped around my middle graze my breasts as he shifts up and a tingle shoots straight between my legs. “God, Caroline, I’m so...” He stops, probably realizing that he doesn't have morning wood, “I don't have...” He’s actually pretty cute all sleepy. He laughs. “I know but I couldn't figure out how else to get your attention.” I shrug.”",
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                        "text": "“She pushed the car. But I was so distracted that i forgot to push the button on the timer, so we had to do the whole thing again. Which Lindsey found hilarious. \"Ok\" she said. \"Are you ready NOW, or do we have to send you back to Button Pushing one-oh-one?\" \"Um, what's Button Pushing One-oh-one?\" I was wearing a button down shirt that day. Lindsey reached out and poked one of the buttons into my chest. \"There, that's how you push a button. Any questions?”",
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                        "text": "“Yeah, well. If you're staying here in hopes of making out with Alaska, I sure wish you wouldn't. If you unmoor her from the rock that is Jake, God have mercy on us all. That would be some drama, indeed. And as a rule, I like to avoid drama.\" \"It's not because I want to make out with her.\" \"Hold on.\" He grabbed a pencil and scrawled excitedly at the paper as if he'd just made a mathematical breakthrough and then looked back up at me. \"I just did some calculations, and I've been able to determine that you're full of shit.\" And he was right.”",
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                        "text": "“I profess not to know how women’s hearts are wooed and won. To me they have always been matters of riddle and admiration. Some seem to have but one vulnerable point, or door of access; while others have a thousand avenues, and may be captured in a thousand different ways. It is a great triumph of skill to gain the former, but a still greater proof of generalship to maintain possession of the latter, for man must battle for his fortress at every door and window. He who wins a thousand common hearts is therefore entitled to some renown; but he who keeps undisputed sway over the heart of a coquette is indeed a hero.”",
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