---
title: "19 House Quotes By Jeff Foxworthy"
description: "19 House quotes by Jeff Foxworthy. Plus more from Jeff Foxworthy and more House sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e31/jeff-foxworthy-939_desirable_the-designated-driver-program-it-s-not-a_779714.jpg"
---

> [The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/the-designated-driver-program-it-s-not-a-desirable-job-but-if-you/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e31/jeff-foxworthy-939_desirable_the-designated-driver-program-it-s-not-a_779714.jpg)

> [I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/i-say-if-everybody-in-this-house-lives-where-it-s-god-first-friends/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eb1/jeff-foxworthy-939_argument_i-say-if-everybody-in-this-house-lives-w_2478219.jpg)

> [You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/you-break-into-my-house-i-will-shoot-you-my-wife-will-shoot-you-and/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/43b/jeff-foxworthy-939_break_you-break-into-my-house-i-will-shoot-you_2191280.jpg)

> [I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/i-had-to-perform-at-the-white-house-for-the-president-that-s-always/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/548/jeff-foxworthy-939_house_i-had-to-perform-at-the-white-house-for_3568.jpg)

> [You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/you-might-be-a-redneck-if-directions-to-your-house-include-turn-off/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ff9/jeff-foxworthy-939_funny-redneck_you-might-be-a-redneck-if-directions-to_1057314.jpg)

> [You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/you-might-be-a-redneck-if-you-need-one-more-hole-punched-in-your-card/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb6/jeff-foxworthy-939_cards_you-might-be-a-redneck-if-you-need-one-m_2797349.jpg)

> [You might be a redneck if every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/you-might-be-a-redneck-if-every-electrical-outlet-in-your-house-is-a/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e7/jeff-foxworthy-939_electrical_you-might-be-a-redneck-if-every-electric_2191619.jpg)

> [You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/you-might-be-a-redneck-if-the-dog-catcher-calls-for-a-backup-unit/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/10b/jeff-foxworthy-939_backup_you-might-be-a-redneck-if-the-dog-catche_230572.jpg)

> [You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/you-might-be-a-redneck-if-when-you-leave-your-house-you-are-followed/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1b5/jeff-foxworthy-939_agents_you-might-be-a-redneck-if-when-you-leave_2960537.jpg)

> [Some people like to keep their grass cut really short, so they can see the intruders coming. Keep those kill zones open.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/some-people-like-to-keep-their-grass-cut-really-short-so-they-can-see/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b5c/jeff-foxworthy-939_behinds_some-people-like-to-keep-their-grass-cut_437616.jpg)

> [Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/because-criminals-know-that-when-they-see-a-house-with-2-foot-tall/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/52c/jeff-foxworthy-939_break_because-criminals-know-that-when-they-se_371761.jpg)

> [Buying a used rental car is kind of like going to a house of ill repute looking for a wife. Anything that's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/buying-a-used-rental-car-is-kind-of-like-going-to-a-house-of-ill/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7c7/jeff-foxworthy-939_buying_buying-a-used-rental-car-is-kind-of-like_2643515.jpg)

> [This happened to me last week. We're in the process of remodeling our house; we've been doing it for a while now.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/this-happened-to-me-last-week-we-re-in-the-process-of-remodeling-our/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0d3/jeff-foxworthy-939_bucks_this-happened-to-me-last-week-we-re-in-t_989557.jpg)

> [You just may be a redneck if your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/you-just-may-be-a-redneck-if-your-lawn-furniture-used-to-be-your/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7d4/jeff-foxworthy-939_furniture_you-just-may-be-a-redneck-if-your-lawn-f_2540358.jpg)

> [You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/you-might-be-a-redneck-if-your-house-doesn-t-have-curtains-but-your/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/50b/jeff-foxworthy-939_curtains_you-might-be-a-redneck-if-your-house-doe_2012505.jpg)

> [You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/you-might-be-a-redneck-if-your-momma-calls-you-over-to-help-cause-she/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ab7/jeff-foxworthy-939_causes_you-might-be-a-redneck-if-your-momma-cal_2696429.jpg)

> [You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/you-might-be-a-redneck-if-you-watch-little-house-on-the-prairie-for/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f7/jeff-foxworthy-939_decorating_you-might-be-a-redneck-if-you-watch-litt_50036.jpg)

> [You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/you-might-be-a-redneck-if-the-richest-member-of-your-family-bought-a/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ef/jeff-foxworthy-939_family_you-might-be-a-redneck-if-the-richest-me_1957487.jpg)

> [You might be a redneck if your daughter's Barbie's Dream House has a clothesline in the front yard.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/you-might-be-a-redneck-if-your-daughter-s-barbie-s-dream-house-has-a/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/876/jeff-foxworthy-939_barbie_you-might-be-a-redneck-if-your-daughter_274521.jpg)

## Other authors on House

## More by Jeff Foxworthy

> [If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/if-your-thighs-look-like-the-hood-of-a-white-toyota-minivan-after-a/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

> [I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/i-had-to-perform-at-the-white-house-for-the-president-that-s-always/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

> [You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/you-might-be-a-redneck-if-you-have-a-picture-of-johnny-cash-willie/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

> [You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/you-might-be-a-redneck-if-your-high-school-basketball-game-got-rained/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

> [We sing about God because we believe in Him. We are not trying to offend anybody, but the evidence that we have seen of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/we-sing-about-god-because-we-believe-in-him-we-are-not-trying-to/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

> [You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/you-might-be-a-redneck-if-you-watch-little-house-on-the-prairie-for/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

> [Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/hell-when-i-was-in-high-school-a-drive-by-shooting-meant-somebody-had/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

> [We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/we-probably-stagnate-our-children-s-emotional-growth-by-not-letting/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

> [You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/you-might-be-a-redneck-if-taking-your-wife-on-a-cruise-means-circling/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

> [I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/i-ve-gotten-to-the-point-i-won-t-even-watch-the-11-o-clock-news-you/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

> [Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges; he got guys off the fishing docks.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/look-at-where-jesus-went-to-pick-people-he-didn-t-go-to-the-colleges/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

> [What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/what-i-hated-was-doing-what-somebody-in-la-thought-jeff-foxworthy/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

> [Women in bed are like Diesel engines. What I mean by that is, it may take them a while to get going, but when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/women-in-bed-are-like-diesel-engines-what-i-mean-by-that-is-it-may/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

> [You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/you-might-be-a-redneck-if-getting-a-package-from-your-post-office/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

> [You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/you-might-be-a-redneck-if-your-wife-wants-to-stop-at-the-gas-station/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

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